Voluntary Love Ch. 05

Author's note: Thanks to KS for editing as always. If this is your first time on this story, you probably need to read previous chapters to understand it. Or, if you just want the sex, then read on.

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Voluntary Love

Chapter 05

I stood there as still as a statue trying to take in Jane being there.

"Jane...that is you?"

"Yes," she said. She must have moved closer, as her voice was much nearer when she said, "I'm here."

"Why are you here?" I finally said.

"To ask you if we can start again," she said, quietly.

I noticed she said 'start again'. "You're here because Robert is dead, or that he left you?" The accusation that she was only here because she had no other options was clear in my words and in the edge of my voice.

"Yes, he's dead. He died a month after we spoke. I got married again. If you'll have me, I'll leave him."

Cliché, I know, but my mouth did hang open after these revelations. Bloody hell, I thought. What the fuck is going on here.

"I am with someone else," I said, trying to get back control of my thoughts, of my emotions, and the situation.

"I know," she said, even more quietly. "I've had someone watching you for the last couple of weeks."

"Shit!" I said, with real feeling, "why the fuck did you do that?"

"I wanted to know where you were, how you are, and whether I would be wasting my time."

"And you still came, even though you know I am with someone else?"

"Yes. I want you that much."

With nowhere to go after that, we just stood there. I imagine we were staring hard at each other.

"Can I come in, if you're not expecting someone."

I hesitated, but not for long. I was thoroughly confused, totally intrigued, and not a little touched.

I offered her coffee, which she accepted. We sat in the living room, me in the armchair and Jane on the couch. We sat for a while saying nothing.

"Who goes first?" I finally said, lighting a cigarette. I offered her one, and she took it.

"I will," she said, drawing hard on the smoke. "Robert never really recovered. He never regained consciousness from the coma. We buried him a couple of weeks after he died. I then had to stay around London to sort things out, like the will. He left everything to the children. I got nothing."

Her voice was matter-of-fact. She hadn't expected anything, and hadn't been disappointed. He, obviously, was a genuine bastard.

"When did you come back to Manchester?"

"At the end of October or beginning of November."

"You didn't try to contact me." It was a statement of fact, not a question. I was still in Manchester at that point.

"No." Her voice was a whisper again.

"I didn't want you to tell me to get lost."

"Why the fuck would I do that?" I said, annoyance in my voice. "I loved you, and would have had you back straightaway."

"Please," she said, with a real pleading in her voice, "my husband, even though he was a total shit, had just died. Yes, you were my lover, but how serious were you? I couldn't think straight."

The tears came and I was across the room in seconds. She collapsed into me, crying tears of real pain. They didn't subside for several minutes. I stroked her hair. Interestingly, I had no other physical reaction.

When the tears had changed to just sniffs I asked, "And the marriage?"

"I did try and contact you on Christmas Eve. When I realised you had gone, I was devastated. On New Year's Eve, my friends took me to a party. I met a lovely bloke who was very nice. I just went along with it. The first time we fucked, it was kind and gentle, like him. He could make me laugh. He was thirty. He asked me to marry him in May, and we married last July."

She blew her nose and lit another cigarette.

"Two weeks ago, I heard 'Thank You' on the radio. I just knew for certain, I only really loved you and wanted you. So, I hired a private detective agency to find you. It took them a week to find you here, and then they followed you for a week."

'Thank You' had been a Led Zeppelin track on a tape we had been listening to, during one of our lovemaking evenings. She had asked what it was, as she loved it.

I just sat there still holding her. I knew immediately that I still loved her. I also knew I was falling in love with Angharad. There was genuinely no feeling of either one or the other. What the fuck could do.

"I need to tell you about Angharad," I finally said.

"Please do."

So I did. I left nothing out, including our slightly bizarre sex of the early months. When I finished, Jane said nothing for a while.

"And you love her?"

"Falling in love?" I said.

"More than me?" She squeezed my hand.

"I really don't know," I said, honestly. "I have no feeling that points to either of you."

We sat there for a long time.

"How long will you need to decide?" she asked, taking a long draw.

"I need to tell Angharad about you. I'll do that Wednesday. How long can you stay in Cardiff?"

"I told my husband I was away for a week staying with friends. I need to go back next Monday afternoon."

"I will decide by then," I said.

Jane kissed me on the mouth.

"Thank you." She left a couple of minutes later.

Jesus, was I confused. Here was somebody I loved very much, telling me she wanted to start again with me. Exactly at the same time, I was damn sure I was falling in love with someone else!

All that night and the next day, I worried. I had no idea what happened at work. My old insecurities resurfaced. Whatever decision I made, what if either of them left me? How could I live up to Jane's expectations? Was I good enough really for either of them? What the fuck did they see in me? Surely, they would find someone not so fat and blind and boring?

Before I knew it, I was ringing Angharad's doorbell. It opened quickly, and she pulled me in kissing me, before the door was shut. This was new and nice, but something must have told on my face or in my body's reaction.

"What's wrong?" she said, straightaway.

"I need to talk to you," I said, "and not in bed."

She said nothing, and led me into the living room. We sat on the couch. She held my hand.

"Jane came to see me, yesterday," I just blurted out; and told her everything Jane had said and what I had said.

Angharad said nothing either during my monologue, or for minutes afterwards. Finally, she got up without a word. I heard noises of glasses clinking in the kitchen. She offered me a glass of wine and a cigarette when she came back.

"Do you know what you'll do?" she asked, quietly.

"No," I said.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"If you had found out Robert had died, would you have made contact with Jane to try again, even with me around?"

I opened my mouth to say no, but hesitated. As soon as I thought and felt about it, I knew she was right. I was falling in love with Angharad—but I loved Jane more.

Angharad saw the look on my face. She squeezed my hand. "It's okay. When we started having fun, I told you if you went with someone else I'd kill you. I would have, until last September. Now, I'll just cry a bit. Can we make love before you go?"

I was reduced to silence and tears. I had just done something pretty shit to her, and she was being so nice and accepting. I felt awful.

"Are you sure you want to go to bed with me?"

"I wouldn't have said it, if I didn't. I've come to love our softer fucking. Hopefully, I will do it again sometime. I just want one last time to remember."

"You are an amazing woman," I said, hugging her.

"But not quite amazing enough!"

I suppose she couldn't resist that, and I deserved it. Before I could answer, she put a finger on my lips.

We sat silently finishing our drinks and cigarettes. She got up and I followed. She took my hand and led me to the bedroom. Inside, she closed the door.

Unhurriedly, she undressed me. Unhurriedly, I undressed her. We came together naked and kissed and stroked for a long time without moving. Eventually, we found ourselves on the bed.

We kept kissing and touching. Again, our hands were touching cunt and cock, our breathing getting more ragged with more sounds emanating from us.

She moved first, but not as I expected. Without warning, her leg came over my head. Reaching up, I realised her arse and cunt were over my face. As I registered where her mouth would be, I felt something soft, wet, and warm surround my cock.

It was an amazing sixty-nine. Very slow and sensual. It was clearly Angharad's first time sucking cock. At first, she was a bit too rough. Then she slowed down and started to use her lips and tongue as well as her teeth. Then, she was going down my whole length without anything touching me.

"Oh god, that's lovely," I moaned, into her hairy wetness. Her clam was certainly rampant, as juice dripped down on me, as I fingered and sucked. She had no weights in her rings but I still lavished them with my tongue. Her wriggling and breathing told me I was doing something right.

Her hands were now moving, too. One was fondling my balls, the other wanking me.

"I'll cum soon," I gasped, moving my head out from under her jungle.

"So will I!" she groaned, and went back to work. So we did. I wasn't surprised when she moved her mouth off at the last second and I shot my cum over her face.

"I didn't expect that," I said, pulling her close to me and kissing her nose.

"First time for me," she said. "Not sure I will do it again, but it was nice doing it with you!"

"That means a lot!" I said earnestly, feeling a little more shitty.

She went and got more booze and smokes.

"I think you should resign," she said, out of nowhere.

"I agree," I said.

"I'll let them know in the morning that you won't be in. Can you get me the letter by the end of the week?"

"Why can't we do it now?" I offered.

"Okay," she replied. "We can do it in the morning."

"You want me to stay?"

"Yes. I want to make the most of you."

She took my cigarette and wine glass away, and pushed me on my back. She mounted me easily. She rode me hard. She fed me her creampie.

"What will you do?" she asked, lying next to me again, idly stroking my cock. More wine and cigarettes.

"I will go and see Jane probably on Friday. Don't know after that."

"I'll pack your stuff from here, tomorrow. How will I get mine?"

"My rent runs for another three weeks. I will make sure I am out by a week on Friday. Use your key to go in, that weekend."

It was my turn to finish my wine and smoke first. I turned her head to mine and kissed her hard, my tongue searching. My other hand found her tit and squeezed.

I used my lips, tongue, and fingers on every inch of her front, and then her back, making her cum once. Then, I gently lifted her onto her hands and knees and fucked her for a long time. She came at least twice. I came once, but stayed half-hard so we went again. We went cowgirl and missionary; we both came again. We rested a little, then fucked over her dressing table chair.

We were both fucked out by 1:00am, and slept.

In the morning, we fucked for the last time. We did it slowly in the missionary, and I ate her out afterwards. She kept my head there long after her first cum, and got me to make her cum twice more.

"Thank you!" she gasped, holding me tight. "Thank you for everything."

"I'm really sorry," I started to say.

"No more. It's said and done. Thanks for shagging and staying."

"Thanks for loving the new way, not the old way," I said.

"Oh, I wanted to punish the shit out of you," she said, sighing. "But what's the point? Let's end it the way we both have come to like."

It did not take long for her to get all my stuff together. We composed my resignation letter and she typed it up. I signed it.

"Can you get a taxi?" she asked, her voice suddenly cracking a bit.

"Of course." I called. "They told me twenty minutes."

As I put the telephone down, Angharad took my hand and led me to the couch. She let go and stood there a second. Then she sat down.

"Get on your knees, please."

The old authoritative tone was back. I did not hesitate.

"Come forward."

I found her knees. They opened immediately. Her thighs were smooth. A couple of inches before her crotch, they were damp. Her hair was wet. Her smell was wonderful.

"Just one more time!" she breathed.

I sucked a big mouthful of hair in, and let it out slowly. I nipped and nibbled her hair, lips, and thighs. I chewed a bit of pussy lip. I teased her opening with fingers and tongue. I pulled on the weights attached to her lips and clit. I fingerfucked her with four fingers. I bit her clit hard. She soaked me.

The taxi arrived while we were still in that position. We got ourselves up and to the door. I took a deep breath. I smelt very strongly of her.

We hugged and kissed.

"Thank you," she said again. "I did fall in love with you."

The door opened and she showed me to the taxi. She closed my door. The taxi moved off.

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