by transboy1776
One: we know her name is Jade, you must have used it 50 freakin times in the story. Try "she" once in a while !
Two: you stretched out the sex part so far I found myself skipping ahead past the interminable ball sucking. Don't write just to make the story longer.
Three: sorry, there's just no way a woman can get a three inch thick, nine inch long anaconda in her mouth. Physically impossible. Get real.
She never gave him a chance to reciprocate. Not that realistic. Good effort though. Keep trying. Read authors that score high, then learn from them.😝
Awful, but fortunately , author left LW without further insult to it's readers.