Warmth of a Mid Autumn Night

"Perhaps you are right. It is difficult to get this feeling off of me. Every time it is raining, I feel as if Heaven is crying upon me feeling my pain. The sky can not always be sunny, but when it rains, someone must be crying some where. I do not wish for that to be her."

"Do you doubt your abilities to be there for her when she needs you, Sir?"

"I do not. What I worry is if I have other flowers to catch my fancy. I worry that I may act on a whim without thinking everything through carefully enough. Maybe I will engage in the company of another beautiful soul and later find that one to leave a bitter taste in my mouth. Then I would know that Gracie is the one for me without a doubt, but would it be too late by then?"

"I would think that you have the choice to make the better decision, Sir. You would have to ask yourself if you want to hurt Miss Highbrighton when you are given the chance to buzz to another flower. Is it worth throwing away your years with her for a moment of warm company from someone else?"

"What if she is the one to do this to me instead?

How will I handle that if I find out?

Will I be forgiving and pretend as if it never happened if she is willing to or would she run away with someone else?

What if I do get caught with someone else?

Will she forgive me even if I choose to stay by her side?

How would I make up for the damage?

She is wonderful and deserves the best from me. I want her to be happy to choose me over anyone else. But I also fear that one day I may lose interest in her even though I could not think of anything at this moment that will have me lose interest. We can both change over time and I worry that it could be for the worst."

"Indeed it is hard to say what will happen in the future. But if you have your choice of honey and like the one you have tasted then why would you persuade yourself to keep searching for another that could be more sweet or more pleasing to your palate?

You may lose your chance if you pass up the one that catches your fancy. What type of honey to come along later on may never be as enjoyable as the one you pass up. It would be a shame to always find every other honey to taste a tad off after that."

"You really think I should ask for her hand in marriage for better or for worse, Humbly?"

"I do. She is a fine woman with class and would be a great match for you. This is my opinion. I only know that she makes your world feel warmer and she feels the same. If I can see into the future to warn you of something to go wrong then I would, but I can not. I can only tell you what I see over time and how miserable you would be if you pass her up to someone else. It would be unfair to her for you to keep misleading her. You need to make a decision sooner or later for the sake of both of you."

"I know. The decision should not be this difficult when I love her so much."

"Are you ready for your salad, Sir?"

"Yes. Sigh. What is the main course tonight?"

"I have whipped up some mashed sweet potatoes to go with the honey glazed pork roulade. It has an apple, spinach, cranberry, garlic crouton stuffing. I hope that will open up your appetite, Sir."

"That sounds delicious. I would like to discuss another multi-course dinner with Miss Highbrighton. Do you have any suggestions?"

"Maybe a Beef Wellington served with a wild mushroom sauce?"

"Hmm... That does sound tasty. What else do we have available in the kitchen to make a superb meal?"

"We do have some veal and prosciutto. If you are in the mood for game meat, we can make a Cacciatore or Coq au vin. Maybe a chicken or pork dish with a Madeira sauce?

Red bell pepper and eggplant terrine as one of the courses?

Salmon or Trout stuffed with herbs and spices?

I can buy a fresh roast from the market if you prefer, Sir. Unless you want me to surprise you with the special of the day. I know Ken the butcher will offer me the freshest meat every time."

"I will let you choose, Humbly. Although that terrine does sound good. I am not sure if I will be as helpful as I was last time. I may take a walk with Miss Highbrighton while the sun is out. It depends on the weather."

"That will not be a problem, Sir. How many courses would you like that night, Sir?"

"Maybe five or six. I would like to offer her a variety, but I do not want you to over work yourself trying to make every course."

"I will see what I can do, Sir."

Maybe tonight, I will sleep better after a good meal and this talk with Humbly. I am glad he is supportive of my decision. It is nice to know that Gracie has a fondness for me. I would be fooling myself to think everything will only get better after the wedding.

It would be nice to always have someone to come home to and share this manor with. How wonderful it would be to always see her smiling face. The bed would be less cold when someone warm shares it with me. We would be able to do so much together such as cooking, gardening and reading. I could look forward to doing that with her each day and there is nothing finer than to start and end everyday with a kiss.

How lovely it would be if every first course starts with her soft, sweet lips and ends in the same way. I could not possibly have enough of her affection and I want her to have plenty of mine. If only I know that neither one of us would do the unthinkable in the future then I would be able to sleep more peacefully.

Chapter 9 ==== Tea for Two

On the day that I am to have dinner with Gracie, she had invited me over for tea. I was happy to spend some time with her before we have another savory night to remember. When I came to the front door, her maid was there to greet me.

"Hello, Mr. Devoncaster."

"Hello, Aveline. Nice to see you."

"Thank you, Sir. Miss Highbrighton will be delighted to see you. Please come this way to the guest room."

"Leonard! I am glad that you are here. Please have a seat."

"Thank you, Gracie. You look lovely today."

"Oh Leo, you say that all the time. This is my riding outfit. I was taking Lightning for a ride around the estate and almost forgot about our tea together. Please pardon me for not having enough time to change into something more suitable for this occasion."

"That is perfectly alright, Gracie. Anything you wear is fine by me. I love your sense of style."

My heart was racing as I sip my tea thinking I would love anything she wears and not wear. I could not stop thinking of tearing her clothes off and having my way with every inch of her body. Her heavy breathing, moaning and screaming would delight me more than any cup of tea.

My mind was drifting and I sat motionless for a bit. Then I heard my name.

"Do you like the tea, Leo?"

"Oh yes. Yes. It is lovely."

"Is something troubling you, Leo?"

"No. No. I was wondering if we could touch on serious topics today."

"Alright. What is on your mind?"

"Do you think we will always be able to sort out everything in a calm manner?"

"Well I would think so. We have done that in the past. Is there something bothering you?"

"No. I am hoping that we will always be able to talk and sort everything out in a civilized manner. We are mature adults. I believe we can be reasonable and compromise with one another."

"Yes. I agree with you that we can be reasonable and compromise. Do you think that one of us would some how cross the line some how?"

"No. Yes. I mean it is possible one of us could go over board or cross the line a little at any given time. We can not see the future. People do change. What we are sure of now may not be the case later on. Even though that I do not want either of us to come to this point, the possibility is there. We are only human."

"Yes. Anything can make a person change for in any way. But I hope that we will always have a way to overcome all our differences in a mature fashion. I do not want to hurt you."

"Neither do I. You know how much I care for you, Gracie. The last thing I would want to do is hurt you. If I do, it is unintentional."

"Are you worried that we will have arguements and tension in the future, Leo?"

"I do not want that to happen, but when does any couple have a perfectly smooth relation?"

"I can understand your concern. Every couple is bound to have some sort of arguement sooner or later. It is inevitable. Promise me we will always talk everyday and share what is bothering us."

"I promise. It would pain me if you could not talk to me. I want you to be comfortable to talk to me about anything under the stars."

"I hope you would do the same. It would break my heart if you could not come to me in your time of need. I do not want our hearts to grow apart and have us feeling alone on a deserted island. We should not have too many secrets between us. There has to be trust in our relation."

"Yes. I trust you, Gracie. I trust you with all my heart."

"I am glad to hear that, Leo. Do you have anything to get off your chest?"

"Yes. No. I mean..."

"Yes?"

"I am going to Waldenleigh tomorrow for business and I will be gone for a week."

"Waldenleigh is about a two days ride by horse South of here."

"Yes, it is. I also have a childhood friend there that I will be staying with."

"I hope you have a safe journey. Is there anything wrong with the business?"

"No. Everything is fine. I have to meet a novelist. The usual since we need a consistent amount of writers for the magazine. The company has always made it a priority to talk to the writers and make sure they are what we are looking for."

"That is understandable. Are you nervous about meeting the novelist?"

"No, not exactly. Frederick and I will be meeting her at a restaurant and have a casual talk. It is strictly business. She may bring a friend along if she chooses. I want you to know that we are conducting business out in a public place. There are many women who write for the magazine over the years. We like to pick local writers for each location so that the town will feel a personal touch from us."

"I do not see a problem with that. You do what you need to do for the company. It is your family business. The last thing I want to see is your business falling apart. Enjoy yourself with your friend and the novelist."

"You are perfectly alright with that?"

"Yes. Why should I not?

Are you worried that I would think of you taking advantage of the novelist?"

"No. No. I will not take advantage of her.

You are not jealous?"

"Why should I be?

This is a business lunch. You are there to have a better understanding of the writer. It is not as if you and your friend are going to a gentleman's club and have women throw themselves at you. I know you are not the type to go to such places. If I am jealous, I would be asking you to bring me along with you, but I could not ask you to do that. It would not be proper and that shows a lack of trust in our relation."

"I am glad you are not jealous over every little event, Gracie. It is nice to know you are understanding. That is one of your best qualities."

"Thank you. More tea?"

"Yes, please. What type of tea is this?"

"It is Assam tea infused with some dried fruits. Do you like it?"

"Yes, I do. It is quite addictive. The biscuits are delicious. Did Aveline make them?"

"Yes, she did. She is quite talented in the kitchen. But she always give credit to your magazine for the wonderful recipes."

"Oh really?

I could not possibly take credit for the recipes. It is picked out by our staff after testing a numerous amount of recipes. We do not list any recipes that are less than mouth watering."

"That is what I like about you, Leo. You take into consideration of the details in your business to make sure it comes out right. The personal touch is what makes your formula a success."

"Well I try. I want to gain the trust of the readers. The family business would be a laughing stock if we randomly post recipes that are less than note worthy."

"Have some more biscuits, Leo."

"Thank you. Compliments to the chef."

"I will let her know that you like the biscuits."

The family had been in the magazine and literary business for quite some time. We did not create "Who Cooked It?" till I was 18. It was around the time when Humbly thought I should have a magazine that has both good recipes and stories to read. But unlike the gossip and news of the town, it would be more on the literary side that would help local writers gain a name for themselves.

He is about a decade older than I so he was able to share what he had observed through the years. Uncle Alton was the one that took him in under his care when his biological parents fled town all of a sudden. They had left Humbly behind to Alton since those two had a fondness for one another. Alton never had a child of his own so he saw Humbly as his own blood. Since he had a father, every time Humbly did see him, he would be addressed as Uncle Alton.

The maids and butlers would always share recipes and wish that there was something they could go to for good recipes that were tested in advance. They were always in the mood for a good story too. The idea of creating this magazine was perfect for all the house wives, kitchen staff and anyone else who wanted a good story in between all the recipes.

Humbly helped me create the cover of the magazine. It shows a chef with his head up enough to see his hat and eyes looking to the side. One hand holding a fork and the other holding a big knife with a tomato on top. Many of the stories in the magazine were mystery or drama. A chapter would be added to each monthly edition to keep people's curiosity which would keep them buying.

The magazine goes as far as I can go. I have to visit every town that I want to do business at. This way I can meet the local writers and show to the readers that we are in touch with them on a local level. We do not want to create a business they feel is out of touch with the public. It does require a bit more work, but I believe it is a good concept since this magazine has been around for the past 12 years.

"There is one more question on my mind that I have trouble getting out of my head. I hope you will not be offended that I bring this up."

"I will try. What is it?"

"What if in the future, either one of us can do the unthinkable?"

"What do you mean, Leo?"

"Lets that we are married and after some time, our sparks fizzle out a bit. What if either one of us some how ends up in an affair of some sort?

Can we forgive one another?

Is there room to talk after finding that out?"

"I do not know how to answer that at the moment. It comes as a shock to me. Are you saying that you would cheat on me or that I would cheat on you after being married?"

"I am not saying either one of us has intentions to. But what if we some how end up in that scenario?

People change over time. There has to be a reason why there are so many people having affairs. It is not exactly something anyone thinks of having until happens."

"Yes, I understand. The thought of you thinking either one of us would have an affair is too much for me to think about now. My heart aches at the thought of it. I would have to ask you to leave right now."

"I understand. You know I do not mean to hurt you. Does this mean you will not be joining me for dinner tonight?"

"No, I will not. I need time to myself. Enjoy your trip. Aveline will show you out."

"Thank you for your time and tea, Gracie. I will see you again when I come back."

Guess that I will be dining alone tonight again if I even choose to eat. It would be fitting for me to spend time in the wine cellar when I am back at the manor. This is not how I had planned the day before my trip to be.

Chapter 10 ==== Trip to Waldenleigh

All that had happened after leaving Gracie's home was a blur. Humbly had greeted me at the door and I had told him to cancel dinner. Then went to the guest room to get better aquainted with a bottle of brandy. Humbly had to wake me up to prepare me for the long carriage ride to Waldenleigh.

"I have packed you some food for your trip, Sir. It is in the carriage along with the wine and Scotch for Mr. Humbertwald. Will you be having breakfast, Sir?"

"No, Humbly. I will eat what you have packed for me in the carriage. Please take care of the estate while I am gone. I will notify you if my plans change."

"Very well, Sir. Do have a safe trip and stay warm. My well wishes to Mr. Humbertwald."

"I will let him know. Enjoy your free time while I am gone."

"Thank you, Sir. I will look forward to sleeping in."

This is not the best time of year to be traveling with the cold weather, but it is still manageable. Humbly had packed a thick cape along with some wool blankets for my trip. There are also some books and magazines in the same bag. He knows how I read other magazines to see how they compare to mine. But the last thing on my mind is to read.

If the bottles of wine were not a gift for Frederick, I would be drinking one about now. I would probably show up at his door step drunk, but I must stay sober. I should stay sober for my sake. It would not be right for the carriage driver to deal with my drunkeness.

I only hope that Gracie has calmed down by now and understand that I was not trying to offend her. It is usually a topic many people do not think about before they get married. The idea of even thinking that could happen may seem wrong, but then not realizing it till it is too late would not be any better.

The future is unknown and I want to keep us from falling onto a hard surface. I am only trying to cushion our fall a little bit. We may become more irrational when we fall harder. I would hate for us to be uncivilized about the event. Neither of us wants to get hurt, but I would be foolish to think that there will not be any pain later on.

Even if I could have a glimpse of the future, what could I really change?

If something is inevitable then it can not be avoided. What we would do now does not mean we would do the same later. Something has to lead us to do the unthinkable. I am thinking now that if I do anything wrong to her in the future in a grand way, it would be difficult for me to forgive myself.

Is that how I will live the rest of my life?

Unforgiven to me when I take a major wrong turn?

It really depends on how open each of us are about many topics. I hesitate to ask some questions in fear that she would think the worst of me. If we can not resolve many issues now then we will not be able to after we are married. I do not want either one of us to regret our vows.

"Sir, would you like to stop here for the evening?"

"Yes. We can stay here for the night."

Maybe I will stop by the local pub for a drink with some fish and chips first. Then I should rest up for the night before another long road trip tomorrow.

"What will it be, Sir?"

"You have any good brandy or cognac?"

"Yes, Sir. We do. How about a local favorite?"

"Pour me a glass and I will tell you what I think."

"You will be asking for another glass before you leave the bar."

"I will look forward to that. Can you also make me some fish and chips?"

"Yes, Sir. An order of fish and chips will be out soon."

"Thank you."

"Hey, Marty! Need an order of chipping fins."

"Chipping fins order in."

As I wait for my fish and chips, I sip the local favorite hoping I could pace myself. Part of me really wants to be in the bedroom of the inn and go through half a bottle of cognac. But if I did that, I would probably have a difficult time waking up and look a mess. I am hoping the fried food would weigh me down enough to sleep heavily and not think of how I had left matters with Gracie.

"Here you are, Sir. Fresh, hot fish and chips. Can I get you a refill?"

"Yes. That would be nice along with a glass of water too."