Warmth of a Mid Autumn Night

I sit there anxiously wondering if she would react in a similar way as Gracie did or if she would be more forgiving or do something else entirely different than many people. If she does respond differently from Gracie then how would I take it?

What if this was asked of from 20 different men and women?

How would they respond?

I would ask this in my magazine, but that is not the type of topic area the magazine goes into. Although I could pay for another magazine to collect such data. Even if the percentage was split into five different responses, would it make any difference to me?

Is the output a way to see that Gracie is right to be upset or that she is over reacting to something that could be looked at in a different way?

What if the majority thinks completely opposite of her?

Does that mean I am taking a chance with someone that may not be as understanding?

I would forgive Gracie if she has an affair and then later figures out that I would be the better choice. But I would constantly wonder what I do that may make her unhappy that would lead her to think of being with someone else.

"Leo. Leo."

"Oh, I am sorry. Did I miss something?"

"April was sharing her point of view. There really is not a proper answer to this since it is all situational. It really depends where the couple stands at that time and place. How strong they are together through out the way also has to be factored in."

"It really depends on the individual wants to approach the matter in the end verses the initial shock. We can always have mixed feelings at first, but what leads to the final decision depends on how the relationship has been. Sometimes the other one can be waiting for an opportunity to get out of the marriage. Some worry too much about losing everything they have invested in that they would over react."

"Quite true, April. Do you think you would handle it well if there is an affair after the marriage?"

"Well it would be a little rough to take in the news, but then there has to be something to drive one of us or both of us into the affair. There has to be something unfulfilled that has been going on for too long for it to lead to that point. It is not something that would happen all of a sudden without reason.

It might be healthy for some to have a different set up. Something such as joining a club of other married couples."

"You mean married couples to have parties and mingle?"

"It is a little more than that, Leo. They get aquainted well enough to be intimate. Any where from switching partners to all four of them together in the same bed."

I had nearly choked on my drink when she said that. The thought of doing that was a bit too much for me to handle. But I could see how that helps a relationship for some. It is not for everyone, but it takes away the "what if" questions in some areas.

"Although it is not a guarantee that the marriage will last. It is a different life style. Not something that would guarantee a marriage to work out. There is not anything that can guarantee any type of relation in the world to work out. It is all a matter of how each individual approaches the issues."

"We can only get so much out of life. Relations between people does not have a definite recipe that will always guarantee good results. If it is anything similar to a cake recipe then we would all be basking in sweet delight."

"That is true, Leo. Excuse me for a moment fellows."

April then walked away giving Frederick a wink and a smile. I get the feeling those two would be doing something more than kissing eventually.

Chapter 16 ==== Morning After the Unexpected Night

As I lay there in bed around ten in the morning, I was thinking about what had happened at April's place. We did not get home till one or two after the eventful night. Frederick was right about coming home not having a second thought except going to sleep.

I do not know what to think about last night. It is definitely not something to share with Gracie. I am still in a state of shock as I lay on the bed. Not sure if I can ever look at April with a straight face any more.

A sudden knock on the door made my heart jump up. Frederick came in with his night robe on and sat next to me on the bed.

"Did you sleep well?"

"I think so since all I remember was slipping into bed and the next thing I know, it is almost ten. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes. Who would not after all that last night?"

"Did you have fun?"

"Ummm... I..."

"You could not tell me that you were not satisfied. I had lost count after your fourth climax and mine too."

"You had this planned all along."

"Well yes and no. Yes, April and I did plan to be on the intimate side. We were hoping you would join in too. What I did not plan on was how long we were all in heat and what April had requested from us."

"Why did you not tell me sooner?"

"I do not think you would have let me leave the house if I had told you what April was interested in doing with us. Have you forgotten what our earlier years was like?"

"No. But then when we did that, we were not even in the same nation."

"We have all agreed to keep this quiet. Nobody knows of our wild night except the three of us. She wants to have a chance to start her writing career. You are giving her that chance. I do not think she will ruin her own chances by sharing intimate details with others. It would not be to her advantage if anyone found out that she got the job in this manner. She got it on her own, but still people would not acknowledge that if she ends up sleeping with the boss. It would be more of a disadvantage to her if she says anything than it is to you."

"You do know it will be hard to look at her with a straight face."

"She is not living in your town. The chances of you two bumping into one another would be slim. She loses a great deal of credibility as a respectable writer and professional of any type if anyone finds out what she did with you. It really was not you she was interested in being intimate with in the first place, but she likes the idea of being in between us."

"My nerves are a little unsettled at the moment."

"Relax. Gracie will not find out about this. I think you are more worried about her knowing what you did than anything else. It also makes me wonder if you ever told her about us and what we did in our earlier years."

"No. I did not come around to that. It does not ever seem to be the right moment to tell her about our intimate nights. I am afraid that if I do tell her that she would reject me."

"It is the 20th Century. We are not in the 1800's any more. Still early in the century, but we are not in the Victorian era. Both genders have taken new life styles and look at the world in a different way. If she is going to reject you over what you did in the past that is a private matter then what do you think she would do in the future with other issues and events?

I think that she has a right to know some of your past. You never know if she has a wild one of her own. At the same time she should also be understanding of what you did too. If she can not handle that then why would you want to be with her for life?

Do you really want to marry someone who will be uncomfortable about every other little thing you do in life?

It would not be fair to you nor her in the long term. If you are going to ask her the question about future affairs then it would seem right to bring up your past experiences too. You want to clear everything before you tie the knot. It is possible that she could be open to some of your past experiences. If neither of you ever touch on the intimate topics, it is time that you do. Who else are you going to talk to about your intimacy after marriage other than me?

Are you always going to leave that part closed with her and open to Humbly and me?

It would only be worse if she finds out about your intimate past after the marriage. In some way you would be making her feel such a fool. That is only asking her to turn away and subconsciously seek someone else."

"You do have a point there, Frederick. Guess that I am also afraid of losing what we have over something minor. Minor in our minds, but it may not be for her."

"I know Gracie and April are two very different people. Some where down the line, April would not be a good match for you since she is less conservative. The qualities you are after in a mate is more in Gracie than April. She sounds wonderful, but if this area is something she can not live with and would toss away a relationship over then why would you want to hold on to her?"

"If she is to marry me then she will eventually meet you. After all, you would be my best man. I do not want her to feel awkward around you. It would be nice if she likes the idea of being sandwiched between two guys, but I do not see that as her style.

Are you saying that who I marry would come down to what her preference is in bed?"

"It should not, but the intimacy does affect any relationship. Sometimes a marriage is very reliant on a healthy life style in the bedroom. The lack of it may cause a lot of tension. If you really do not find it appealing to be intimate with the one you share the bed with every night then what good is that?"

"This is a lot to unload on her after leaving her upset at me before the trip. Even if she can be reasonable about the affair topic, I do not know how she will handle this one. I am stressed out thinking about it."

"You will be more stressed if you do not discuss this topic before marriage. I can relax those nerves for you if you like."

Frederick had his hand running up my leg and eyes on my soft and reluctant member. Then he unbuttoned the middle of my pants. I do not think he is hungry for muffins and left over casserole.

"Let me start your morning right and make you feel as good as you did last night. You were doing all the things to April wishing it was Gracie. I know being sandwiched in between us was enjoyable for you."

"You know me quite well, Frederick. I almost want us to pack up and head to Paris to live the way we did back then. A little more care free and nights of passion between us and another stranger or two. I wonder if Gracie ever fantasize about being intimate with more than one person at a time."

"If she does like the idea of being in between two guys then I am first in line to be behind her."

"Old Frederick. You always like the back door."

"Yes. Now that I have your full attention, how shall I relieve you?"

"Let me go in your back door and get your full attention in front."

He gave me a devilish smile and removed his pants to show me how attentive he has been the whole time.

Chapter 17 ==== Reliving the Earlier Years Intimately

The next few days had been more about spending time with Frederick. There was a lot more intimacy than I had planned on.

"I get the feeling you have all this intimate energy bottled up inside while dating Gracie. This would mean you have not slept with her and that Humbly is the most likely one to relieve you in between."

"That is correct. I did not want Gracie to get the wrong idea and I was pacing myself to make sure that I really love her and want to be with her for the rest of my life."

"Do you still feel the same way about her after that night with April?"

"I do, but it looks to me that I may risk losing her entirely when I do tell her about my past. My fantasies have been fulfilled. But I do not know if she has the same fantasies or if it has been fulfilled or would really want to see them fulfilled. Sometimes people can fantasize about what they want to do, but when the chance arises, they may not necessarily want to do it."

"True. Let us hope that she has some wild fantasies and did something wild in the past so that you would not feel awkward around her."

The idea of taking Gracie to Paris, Toledo, Milan or Munich would make a memorable proposal. She had told me before that she wants to visit those cities and said how nice it would be to share those places with someone special. I would love to take her to all those places except I feel it is better to propose in our own homes or at a fine, local restaurant.

"Do you think it would be better to propose in private or in public, Frederick?"

"Well it would be embarrassing if she rejects your proposal in public. In private, it may lack a bit of flare and excitement. It really depends if she is more comfortable in a public place or not."

"I almost want to propose to her at the top of the Eiffel Tower or at a fine restaurant with the view of the tower all lighted up in one of the most well known City of Lights. It would be wonderful if there are fireworks too."

"Why not propose to her there?"

"I worry that if she rejects me there, then the city or even the nation would be a reminder of my rejection. It would be difficult for me to visit the place again without thinking of the incident."

"I can see your point. Paris is not always a place full of love. It is also where the broken hearted are too. You had great times in Paris too. Do I need to remind you how a certain Parisian was that one time?"

"True. A single night fling and a serious relationship are two very different scenarios. What if the one we had a wild night with happens to be at the same place at the same time and remembers me?"

"I highly doubt that. If you want to be on the safe side, I would reserve the whole place to myself and check the staff so that there would not be any chance of an awkward moment."

"I also want it to be a surprise too. If I ask her to go with me, she would wonder what the occasion is."

"Well then you need to find her friends or talk to her maid to some how make it a trip among women friends and that you happen to be there on business and bumped into her."

"Paris in November and December is not exactly the most ideal weather."

"No, but are you wanting to hold off till Spring?"

"Maybe you want to go some where warmer such as Turkey, Greece or the Mediterranean area. It is a nicer view of the ocean. You could go to the mountains and ski down the majestic, white slopes and then propose to her. Maybe you can be on the ski lift and propose there instead."

"I will figure something out if she even forgives me when I get back. It would be nice to create new memories at the places we had visited. We can go to places we have never been to together."

"We can always relive our earlier years together again. The tapas bars were great in Spain. There was never a bad cup of espresso in Italy. Gelato is always a delightful treat. Every where we turn, there is always a chip shop in Belgium. Mussels in a white wine sauce with chips fried to perfection. Lightly crispy on the outside and soft, fluffy potato under that. I know that you would enjoy doing that with someone you love besides me."

"Yes, you are right. Can you afford to be away from the shop that long at a time?"

"I could arrange something. Uncle Otto can always swing by the shop to check or I can have my cousin watch the shop. There has to be a way around it. Sometimes I think it would be nicer if my shop was across the street from Uncle Otto's place, but that may not be the best business set up."

"We had a lot of great times back then seeing old Europe. If we do get married, I would like to hold the wedding at a French chateau. I want it to be our royal moment. But she would probably prefer the wedding in England. We can not make it too complicated for the guests to attend the wedding."

"You definitely know how to charm a lady. I think the Parisian women were drooling over you that one time you had a beret on and had a sack full of groceries. They were probably thinking how nice it is to have a man who can go to the grocery store and know how to cook."

"Maybe it was because they were enjoying the scent of the fruity liquor. The server accidently bumped into me at the bistro and spilled a glass of liquor on my shirt."

"Oh yes, you did smell wonderful. Hahaha... I could not help to keep my hands off of you that night either. From then on, I knew that a night of passion is not complete without some fine liquor to start the evening."

"I have a hypothetical question to ask."

"Ask away."

"If you were in a long term relationship with someone for ten years or even 30 years, then suddenly that one left you without a word, would you ever take that one back after being gone for a few months, a few years or longer?"

"That is a tough question. I think most would not take that one back. The only reason to is if the other one is that lonely, willing to settle or there is something very unique that nobody else can offer. From where I stand now, I do not think that I could take someone back for doing that to me. I can not think of anything that would make up for all the confusion, frustration, emptiness and insecurity that I am put through. How about you?"

"I am thinking the same as you. There would not be anything worth taking that one back. It would always seem to be two hearts beating at a different pace than joining as one. The words would be meaningless after that. The love spoken of would not seem evident. If there is real love then why leave in the first place?"

"What made you bring up that thought?"

"I am going to through possible scenarios in my mind. What if we do get married and she leaves me for a long time without a word?"

"Well you have right to turn your back on her if she does that to you. If she can not discuss any topic matter with you then the relationship is not worth holding on to. There has to be a good understanding and open communication between all relations. Especially in a marriage or anyone about to be married. It should not be divided into a matter of gender. Everything goes both ways. To always look at it as this is how a woman or man thinks is only leaving room to trip and fall."

"Quite true. It is not healthy to think that certain topics can not be touched on because that one is of another gender or expect someone to understand what the individual goes through only because they are of the same gender. This only leaves a gap between the individuals and a lot of misunderstanding. Lot of frustration, yielding, pushing or crossing the lines thinking that the other one expects it that way or should be treated that way when both parties can simply discuss the topics."

"You should have that understanding with Gracie. Tell her where you stand, where you are willing to stand, not stand and where you like to see her stand. If neither side comes to a mutual understanding or agreement from that then you are only pushing yourself into a bad scenario."

"Yes, you are quite right. It is time we draw out all the lines and know where we stand. Life is too short for all the confusion and to be in one bad relation after another."

"I will drink to that."

The visit to Waldenleigh has been more than I had imagined it would be. Frederick has helped me put many issues into perspective. The worst that could happen is I lose Gracie. But if I lose her then it is not meant to be. It is better to know sooner than later so that neither of us would be hurt as badly. I only wish that I could leave here without so much weight on my shoulders.

Chapter 18 ==== The Couple at René Le Déjeuner Café

It was the day before I had to leave Waldenleigh. Frederick and I had agreed to a French lunch at René's down the street. The place had us both in a nostalgic state. It was a cozy place next to the fireplace, decorated country style and a wall was graced with bottles upon bottles of French wine.

Soon after we had placed our order, there was a couple not far from us arguing about their anniversary, birthday, work schedule, where to go on holiday and picking on one another left and right. Aside from not finding it pleasant with all the negative energy that can be felt in the room, it also made me wonder if that would happen to Gracie and I some where in the future.