All Comments on 'We Almost Made It Pt. 03'

At the end of part 2, you proclaimed that: "The next chapter will soon follow. I will finish the damn story....lol." I guess that sentence was literal. You will.... someday... eventually... 'finish the damn story'. This felt uninspired, like you were looking for a wrap-up but it eluded you. 3/5.

Disgusting..,took u sooooooolong to write half a page! I forgot what the previous two parts were like…now u come up with half a page of crap and leave it hanging..,

Just average I am sure you can do a lot better To many perhapses and maybes

If you don’t have the patience to write more than a page at a time, if you are so impatient that you have to publish incomplete stuff, you have no business being in this story telling business.

Get ‘‘em reconciled!

Not really sure why the hesitation on where this is heading. She cheated he has moved on and is finding out that he has options. Interesting it has gotten to this point and his kids have not been informed.

Seriously, write the fucking story THEN post it, this small, itty bitty chapters is bullshit, breaks whatever flow there is to a story, then after posting this, you say you're still writing the next miniscule chapter. You HATE writers who don't FTDS, but what you're doing is just as fucking bad. Don't post more til you FTDS! 1*

Please if they ever get back together, let it be as partners after divorce. No way going back as a married couple.

What do you mean you don't know...this story is strait forward just don't ruin it

Nothing happened here, except a cheap fuck for him...Why post this part? Why wait for part 4, if he had already decided what he was going to do? 3*

If she isn't willing to tell Kathy, it should be toast and no chance for any RAAC.

Ah LT225, you're truly chopping this story up in order to build up tension.

Ok I get you.

/

Carol: "Mike, please come home. I miss you and will do what you want."

- THEN CALL THE WIFE OF THAT DARN PUSSY HOUND JEFF.

Man, sometimes cheating women in LW are either deaf or get plain stupid after being caught.

Geezz. Irritating.

This this isn't happening in real life

If you finish the story in the next chapter it will be a long one. To cover all the unanswered questions you have open the details along with an interesting life will be nice to read. How you burn her lover will be most enjoyable.

Just don't CUCK him up. Just because they have been together for 29 yrs. Ment little to her so why should he care. Need to feel her pain more over her bad decisions

You said last part you were concluding in part 3...... Will this ever finish???

Carol screwed up badly and now she's sorry. Will there be a next time? Maybe she learned a valueable lesson...

Seriously? As you wrote her i only see divorce and he has a new fuck buddy so he knows he can move on.

One page chapters are annoying. This should have been one chapter. It is costing you points.

When he decided to have sex with Annie, he lost the moral high ground. He now is no better than Carol. If he had kept his dick in his pants, I would have said he was right in burning her, now he should just split everything 50/50 and tell Kathy himself, he should have done that in the beginning.

Why would you start a story and publish it without an ending? I gave it one star for that reason alone.

No rating until it gets completed. This part was way too short. D

Woe. You’re so smart. I’m going to transfer all my utilities and bills to another person without their knowledge or, more importantly, their consent.

You know, because in your crazy world consent is irrelevant.

But then you find out that she claimed you abandoned her and after 6 months of no contact, she claims squatter rights, because she has 6 months of bills in her name only, she proves you have no legal claim to the house.

Your letter is mysteriously missing and the banks extend lines of credit and allow her to sell the house because its now in her name.

You get fucked by your wife, the bank and the legal system.

Fucking retard. You get what you deserve.

Rather unoriginal storyline — distraught bimbo wife, ingenious husband who finds willing partners anywhere he looks, and lacking any real erotic scenes. Did achieve one thing — lots of comments.

A waist of time.

Sounds like you need Saddletramp or LT56 help to finish. Good luck

You get 1 star for not finishing this now!! Now it will be another month or two before you decide to finish it. By that time most people will have forgotten the original plot. What a waste of time!!!!

Great story so far. My suggestion is to involve the kids. Let them go nuclear against the wife. Keep writing! You have a talent for it. Hard to believe that these are your first few stories.

Rookie mistake. You should have ended it in this chapter. He already should have made his decision with her not doing what he asked SEVERAL times. It's time to reveal the pics and thorough explanation to the entire list of family and friends so she can't manipulate the facts. After her disrespect and refusals, an RAAC would totally piss off a lot of readers. Besides, she will never go six months without sex.

As a happy ending kind of guy time for hubby to decide if better with her or without . Wife is human and with all humans capable of mistakes. If mistake was made after only a few years of marriage divorce her but after 20 plus years maybe not . Just my opinion…..

Your set up in the first 2 created a good story line. The 3rd just went against all the principles established in the previous stories.

Having him sleep with Anne while still married just is not inline with his core values. While this story in the series is written with a nice touch of reality, it just wasn't what I expected. That is the reason for just 2 stars.

Again my opinion is just that my opinion.

Not much of a chapter. Much weaker than the first two.

Well its an okay story. But when the husband cheated on his wife it makes hus divorce case weak. You probably should have waited for the divorce to let the husband get even. Who knows maybe they can reconcile now that things are even. Its your story do want you want with these characters. Personally I can't see anyway back and I'm sure many readers will want the wife burned at the stake. Good luck.

Most people will want a btb so I figure that is where this will go. I prefer a reconciliation that is justified/earned. Curious to see your choice.

Seems like a story is starting to appear. Chapters are ridiculously short.

Enjoying the story

Hi LT225. No offense, but it is a pedestrian tale so far, though written well. Let’s see, of course it makes sense that Kathy get clued in. We don’t know if Carol has seen Kathy, but no reason she should have. I’d suggest the MC call Carol to tell her he has found a therapist, and needs to tell her in a joint session, about what the two of them can do to salvage their marriage. Carol will, he’ll say, need to be brutally honest with the therapist about the affair and how it started. So the MC (main character) will have a chat with Kathy and get her to play the therapist to hear it from the horse’s mouth, that is, Carol’s mouth, herself. Maybe a lunch meeting at a private spot, set up in that locale as an “emergency” session, or some such. Somehow setting up a fake office seems too labor intensive. The reveal might, then, be fun to write. Carol looking at the therapist (Kathy) telling her tale hoping for sympathy. Our MC is a bit unfeeling, but it would be worthwhile to have the confession be frank, yet revealing of wife’s vulnerability such that even MC is moved. Perhaps a forced start to the affair, and blackmail. Best of luck. I’m no writer, so have no expectations those suggestions will work for you.

You attempt to paint the husband as a switched on Detective. But his actions demonstrate an intelligence level of a teenager. Why doesn't the useless prick inform the AP's wife himself? She has a right to know NOW, not in 6 months or whatever. As others have said, even dickhead Lawyers have their uses. They would at least advise on what to do regarding protecting assets. Note: you can't change bills into someone else's name without their authority. They are STILL MARRIED, even if separated. Now that he is bonking another woman, things get complicated.

LAZY WRITER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The plot of this PART is much the same as the last PART!!!! DIVORCE, SEPARATION, CHEATING, and newly added MATURE!!!! SEE HOW EASY THAT WAS????????????

Yeah, sure. He's in his new home a day and a half and already fucking another woman. Yeah, sure. Hope he used a condom. I doubt he's the first one she's had since her husband died. Be funny as hell if he got a STD from her. How's this much different than what his wife did?? They're both cheaters.

I had to go back and see what the hell this story was even about. I'm done with this story. It's taken 3 weeks to get out 3 way too short chapters. Now you expect us to wait for more and give you suggestions?? WTF!! Think you'll be done by Christmas?????? It's really hard to get enthused or pulled into a story like this. Yes, you write well and can bring some tensions and emotions into your story but this dragging it out doesn't cut. The only hope for the story is if you complete it before you post another short chapter and piss more readers off. It's your story...finish it!! What you've posted so far could have easy be done in one post.

4 words......FTDS!!!!!

Too short

As a constructive criticism, your chapters or “parts” should really be longer than a few paragraphs. Your first 3 chapters could have seamlessly fit into one as an easy read. The long delay between them causes your story to lose whatever momentum the conflict within the chapter generated. A good rule of thumb is if your story will be longer than 10-12 thousand words (approximately 3K per Lit page) which is around 4 pages break it up into equal parts. If you have a cliff hanger opportunity or logical break point anyway. Your story is interesting, but so far is fairly cliche.

I don’t want this to sound too critical, because your story is somewhat engaging, but the best thing about the story so far, is your title. It attracts attention from potential readers, but the very short parts are frustrating and leave the reader dissatisfied.

"I took my name off all the utilities and transferred them to her name." - I don't think that you can put them in someone else's name without their permission. You can cancel service in your name.

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What's the point of a new phone and carrier if you're keeping the old number?

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I'm not thrilled that you have posted three chapters of a story that isn't even complete.

I might let Carol back in, if she learned to suck on my balls while I was banging Granny.

I like the story but your chapters are too short.

Also you do some writing from her POV but never share why she did what she did, how long and if this was the first time.

Also, you don't explain why he hasn't called the guy's wife, especially if he bellieves that he has cheated multiple times.

She's clearly given him no reason to trust her again, especially when she refused to call the guy's wife. But then again, you don't show much of his anger.

Good story ,but as noted before, a little to short. That said......which way to go? Hmmmm. What if he went through with the divorce, got friendly with the ladies of the neighborhood, and in time, invited his ex up for a week? Maybe with his new friends. Of course, that could mean more chapters. Who knows, maybe his ex will find someone up there. Which way will the devious mind go? Hope to find out though.

Jeff absolutely has to see his life burned to the ground even if you make Mike a cuck in a stupid RAAC story.

Why change carriers but keep the same number? Why phone her to give instructions when an e-mail, no matter how long, will do? This chapter was too short. You turned him into a man whore in less than a heart beat. Not getting any better or more interesting. FTDS

The title is so sad. "We Almost Made It." I can identify with it and I'm sure there re many out there who feel the same way. We go into relationships with the expectation that it will be for life, but life has a way of disappointing us - or at least people in our lives. It doesn't seem that there is any way other than divorce for this couple, even if she does confess to the other wife, because there will always be the lack of trust in the relationship. I'm not necessarily an RAAC reader, but I don't think BTB fits here. A simple separation and going on with life seems the best for me.

Dump the bitch

I have enjoyed this story series. I like you style of writing. I hope you continue to contribute to the website.

I am in favor of allowing him to take her back……….

Burn the bitch

Don't rush to end the story in the next part. you have six months after all. Alot can happen in that time.

It always amuses me that writers will try to use the "but he seduced me" excuse to avoid responsibility for the act. If there were kids at home still, maybe he should consider reconciliation, but there aren't. As another commented on, she had a burner phone and was deeply engaged in an emotional affair. She'd still be at if she hadn't been caught. The ONLY reason he should consider not divorcing her is she would get half his pension if he does. While it's been done on this site before, maybe he stays married to her and just does his own thing, treating her like a roommate. If she truly still loves him, why not start "hell" today rather than when she answers to higher authority some day? (We also don't know his actual age, so not sure if the rich 61-year-old is an option...LOL) 5*

The chapters are too short, I agree with others, the three chapters would make a decent 1st chapter.

As far as the story itself when I write I try to find a new angle on things. Cheating wives tales are difficult bc they are kind of hard to have a new take. Your story as written is relatively standard, hubby discovers wife cheated ,( around real estate yet!), Moves on when she doesn't do what he wants, he moves out. One thing that bothered me is he basically does the same thing,; yes they are separated but he tells her not to screw around yet he does. if he is planning to divorce her then fine, then what she does doesn't matter.

If he is planning to try and patch it up,then he should do the same thing.

With this story try and find a unique ending. To keep with the story title, it could refer to the twist where they end up reconciling, and in a moment when she is haranging him about something,he says sardonically ' we almost made it', in this case meaning being divorced and free:)

If they divorce then try and find a new twist on that. If they reconcile, then try and make it real, with warts and all. Stories where the guy becomes a stud and bangs hot women are like eating sugar, they are surface level fluff. If he wants revenge, have him find happiness in a way he never thought possible, and have the wife see the ultimate revenge, that he moved on and found better.

Did you get the fucking point that your chapters are too short and you need to FTDS from all the comments?????

5 more stars

BUT a word of caution - please try to reduce the chapters to the absolute minimum - one page per chapter is not a great idea. Ten pages per chapter is a much better option.

story is well written. neither a BTSB or a RECONCILIATION reader, but enjoy a good to great story that meets the conditions of good story telling/ good literotica. looking forward to ending you think appropriate. I'm a logical person so that is where they go. If the son had figured out what was happening as written in part 2, would love to know how they found out and ig

f they were the first.

This story could easily rated in the mid 4 range but you're killing it with the endless short chapters. No one wants to go back a couple of weeks just to find out what the hell the story is about to start with.

Please finish the damn story!

There can be no RAAC. The fact that he asked for one thing and she continues to refuse. Divorce and call the other guys wife

All too short

Your chapters are tooooo short. Otherwise not a bad story for just starting out. Longer CHAPTERS!!

wow that was short

Tell her you moved out of state and can't stop by to help her with stupid shit... just don't tell her where.

If she doesn't tell the wife, do it for her... may find a new friend!

Interview his co-workers, your wife may not be his only victim... PD Tech guy finds other burners attached to his!

Was he her only affair?

Just my thoughts.

You had a pretty good story going until you pretty much killed it and screwed the pooch with this chapter.

Well I rather enjoyed parts one and two...granted she was hardly any smarter than most wives are written though,

That said....you tossed out any good will with this.....to put it nicely, cut and paste, cliched "been there done" that chapter.

its like you got bored and instead if putting in the effort to write your own chapter you reached into the LW Vault and dragged out the usual boiler plate crap.

I dont know if you can pull this back off the edge of the cliff but I wont bother reading your stuff until the next story you write, as Im afraid the next chapter will be too much like this one.

You seem to have potential but you need to write the story and not what other LW writers put in your head.

This was not the best chapter & wonder if there's even going to be a 4th one (makes it hard as I'm not sure how old this story is). My question, why couldn't the author do an entire story & post the 3 pages or so with an ending? As far as staying with this woman, I'd give her 48 hrs to both go for the STD test & to call the lover's wife. It's that or divorce with no further stalling. She wants to do whatever to save the marriage, time for action & not talk. But, if he does return, keep the separate bedrooms for a bit.

For the lack of anything motivating in this chapter, I'm downgrading things to a 2, because it's spoiling an already mediocre story. -- Bob

The wife claimed she was seduced because a handsome man seduced her. So after all these years she's never been hit on before the asshole? She gives no substantive justification, and shows no regret until she realizes that the asshole was probably fucking other women as well. Seriously, the wife is that shallow and stupid? But that would be in keeping with the story line, since the wife is obviously too stupid to keep her marriage and her self respect. And the husband is just stewing, without taking any action against the asshole, or informing his extended family what an arrogant cheating whore their mother, daughter, or relative is? Right, he's a cop, so he's kind of timid and tries to avoid confrontation. But he canceled her credit cards, wow, now that's burning the bitch. I guess? And now he's fucking a grandmother, boy, that will make wifey jealous. All the wife got was a young hung stud and the best sex of her life. You can hear the regret in her voice every time she explains why she continues to protect her lover from the consequences of his fucking up her marriage. Whatever.

Its not going well, for the wife, the husband, nor the author. But thanks for the effort.

I'm not sure if the title "We Almost Made It" has to do with a relationship or a hint we're almost at the end of the story. Corny comment. Sorry.

But there is a point. Posting a multiple chapter story a half page at a time kind gives the feel of death by a thousand cuts. It may good to make the chapters longer so it's less like the schoolyard game. "Red Light, Green Light"

What's there is good; it just needs more meat on the bone.

I like shorter stories but this all could have been doneinone story to this point. It seems LT225 is writing to the crowd and asking commenters to give him the end in an attempt to garner higher scores. The writing is good but it's a crappy way to get the higher number.

The title implies that the divorce is coming so why ask readers what Mike should do? I'll read this to the end but won't bother followin the author. Man up, write what you think not what the readers tell you to do.

I’m quite enjoying this bite size series and the way it seems to be heading, however please don’t spoil things by having them reconcile at the end!

I would notify the wife immediately. He has to realize that he is not enough for his wife to remain faithful she has proven that buy her actions. You move on and allow her to move on. Get half of all assets notify the children sooner than later.

I agree with several of the comments so far. Chapters far too short this could easily have been done in one so far. I like the outline and the reaction but, there needs to be more movement , confrontation, anything and soon. Otherwise my sense is that it will just fizzle out and there will be an abrupt ending to meet with the title,

He's dragging out the story. We know how this is going to end. He gave conditions when Carol comes clean and tells Jeff's wife about the affair, then he is honor bound to come back. This is destined for RAAC when Carol becomes desperate enough to fulfill her end of the bargain. The Carol character is not strong enough, nor dumb enough to hold out for 6 months before folding.

***Thanks for the read.

Dear LT225, seriously you don't know how this will end ? So far you started without asking why have you even bothered to ask now, person up (PC) and make your own decision.

Carol is very self-centered. Also, she values her lover and his stability more than her marriage or her husband’s feelings. When I first started reading this, I thought a small chance of reconciliation, however once Carol was confronted, and she basically made excused and refused his two (reasonable demands...She was toast. Maybe come up with a new way of BTB, BTRH...

This was way to short

Stretching a really good story to the breaking point. Please don’t do the RAAC.

Your protagonist lost the moral high ground when he had sex immediately after separating from his wife while demanding she not see her boyfriend again.

Thanks for your writing.

Tit for tat!

4

Oh my oh my what do I do!

Definitely don't tell everyone the truth.

That would be the right thing to do

The story says "Using the internet, I took my name off all the utilities and transferred them to her name." Sorry to say that one cannot do that without approval of the party accepting the responsibility, and, even then, usually a new account has to be created. The author really seems to have very little life experience, because most of story is not real.

Mmmmm maybe these parts are a bit short, I still like the way it looks to be going

anonymous, let your imagination take over for a while.