Wet Hot Eroshire Summer Pt. 01

"What's happening with the river?"

"I dunno, that's why I need to check it out." Sue slapped Ethan's arm again. "Anyways: I'll let you lot get settled." Turning to head back in, Sue paused for the briefest of seconds to give Bryce another wink.

Oh she was definitely sticking around for more than just a 5G signal...

Not that Bryce minded: he had already unpacked most of his stuff, and with Megan pulling out at the last minute (something he normally did to her) Bryce was now stuck with three couplings in a cabin in the woods for two whole days. Not that he blamed her: Megan's boyfriend had just popped the question, and she needed to spend the weekend with him (the boyfriend) and plan a wedding.

Good for her, Bryce thought as he walked back into the cabin, unable to resist one last glance at Mac, finding her talking enthusiastically to Ethan about something. He caught her eye, giving her a brief smile, which she subtly returned, before heading into the cabin to find where Sue had disappeared to.

~~~~~

Suppressing that shiver of excitement that threatened to course through her whenever Bryce turned his blue eyes to hers, Mac forced her attention back to her loving boyfriend, and smiled as Ethan replied: "we'll take a route past the lake and up the hills; Penny's Dirty Pits, I think it's called. The trail, I mean."

"Harsh," Mac said, grinning. "I can't imagine Penny deserved that, whoever she was."

"Why do you Eroshites have such strange names for your places?" Junji said, as he helped his friend Ethan with the travel cases; lugging them up the stairs and through the main door of the cabin. Mac followed, happy to let the men feel they earnt some points if it meant not carrying a small Primark's worth of clothes up to her and Ethan's room.

"What do you mean 'strange'?" Mac said, feigning confusion. She knew perfectly well what he meant: Eroshire was full of very odd, and often downright lewd namings for its towns, parks and rivers, and many other locations. She considered it part of the county's charm, and the fact that its inhabitants seemed to be just as sex-crazed as the naming conventions only added the charm. "It's all perfectly normal here."

"'Coytoss'?" Junji said as he began lugging Mac's case up the stairs.

"The ancient Anglo-Saxon game of 'coy tossing'-" Ethan began, although his expression didn't last more than a word or two before cracking.

"That's bullshit, man," Junji said. "Everyone knows coy tossing never existed. Jesus, Mac! You don't really need all these clothes, do you?"

"Don't judge!" Mac muttered. She knew she had over-packed, but she wasn't going to admit it in front of the two men. "I might get dirty out there in the forest... anyway, so Junji is right: the city was named by a guy who liked to fuck."

"Maximillian fucking Miller!" Ethan said, hauling his own case onto the wooden landing. With a smile he leaned against the bannister, overlooking the living room, and paused for a moment to catch his breath as Junji pulled Ethan's girlfriend's overpacked case up the final stair. "What a fucking legend!"

"I have heard so many crazy stories since coming here," Junji said. Leaning on Mac's case, his chest rising and falling as he recovered from the surprisingly vigorous labour, Junji looked at the other man and raised an eyebrow. "How many of them are true? If any?"

Ethan shrugged. "Who the fuck knows?"

"The orgies at that big mansion down the road from Myle Hye?" Mac said, leaning against the bannister with her arms folded, amused at how little exercise the men in her life seemed to do (a certain muscular someone, who she was trying not to think about right now, not included). "All probably true. There's enough evidence that Miller hosted regular sex parties. Scandalous at the time. Probably tame as fuck these days."

"How about fucking vampires?" Junji said, grinning.

"You tell me!" Mac said, smirking at Junji, who smiled sheepishly. Then she grew serious, and shrugged. "Probably? I mean they were well integrated in Victorian high society by then, so I don't see why Miller didn't have a few of them involved in his orgies. Now... mermaids? Very much doubt that. In those days they were still attacking whaling ships. Stealing men and forcing them to be sex slaves. Or food. I don't think Miller fucked any fish people. Or tree people."

"I want to fuck a tree girl," Junji said whistfully. "Don't tell Zhu that, of course."

"I dunno, mate," Ethan said. "Splinters in your dick are no laughing matter."

"Ethan, don't be racist!" Mac said, although she laughed as she did so. "They're not made out of bark!" Then her expression turned serious. "But do you think male dryads cum sap?"

"Sticky!" Ethan said.

The guys both laughed at that, and Mac quickly joined in.

"Sweet and sticky!" Junji laughed.

"What's sweet and sticky?" Zhu said as she appeared from her room.

"Dryad cum," Mac said, giving her friend a grin.

Zhu licked her lips. "Hmmm... tasty... but I'm good with this man's sap, thank you very much," she said, pulling Junji close for a slow kiss that caused Ethan and Mac to share the same smirk. Breaking the kiss, Zhu glanced down at Mac's case before looking back up at her boyfriend. "You can't possibly be having trouble with a Mac's case? You didn't have any problems with mine!"

"You pack lighter than Mac," Junji said.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Mac said, rolling her eyes. Stepping forward she took hold of the handle of her travel case and made an effort to stride confidently away from a bemused Junji, or at least she made an attempt at 'confidently' - the surprising weight of the travel case pulled her back, a brief jolt that almost caused Mac to lose her balance.

Thankfully she recovered, and, ignoring the laughter of Ethan and Junji, managed to pull the grossly heavy travel case across the landing to the room Ethan had mentioned on the way: the third one on the left, with a gorgeous view of the lake.

She swore the case wasn't this heavy when she left her house.

Reaching the doorway, Mac took a moment to admire the room. The bed was immaculately prepared, with blue folded sheets, and looked comfy as fuck. The wardrobe, drawers, table, and chairs were all polished light wood, which blended in nicely with the bare wooden walls, creating an 'American forest retreat' feel to the place. The carpet beneath her boots looked soft, and Mac quickly took her shoes and socks off to sink her toes into the soft red fabric.

"Fuck me, this is gorgeous!" She said aloud.

"Told you," Ethan said, having snuck up behind her while Mac had been engrossed in the view of the room.

Credit to her, Mac didn't jump; instead she smiled, turned around, cupped her boyfriend's face in her hands, and pulled him in for a long, deep kiss. A little tongue as well. "This is nice," Mac said, when they finally parted their lips.

"Have you seen the view?" Ethan said. His face was confident that she would like it.

And she did: Mac's eyes widened when he walked her to the window, and she took in the view of the gentle grassy slopes leading down - about a half-mile - to the lake below. The waters of the lake were a fierce blue, and the gentle waves glittered with the midday sun. A few sails could be seen out on the waters; small pleasure boats that were normally stored in the docks on the other side of the lake to where they were staying.

It was one reason why Ethan wanted everyone to come to this cabin; it was furthest away from all the normal tourist-y areas of the lake and the forest.

"What do you think?" Ethan said. His arms wrapped around her waist, and his chin resting on her bare shoulder.

"I think this is going to be a fucking great weekend," Mac said. Twisting her head, she met his lips with hers, and they made out on the windowsill for a few minutes. Her hands explored his body, finding their way down beneath his jeans to give his growing cock a gentle massage.

"Mac... the door's wide open..." Ethan said, though his voice told her not to slow down with her treatment of his hard five-inch dick. "Someone could walk in and see us."

"Then we better give them a show," Mac said. Her hands squeezed and massaged his dick; lips wrestling as Ethan leaned forward, pushing her against the double-glazed windows. "Maybe we should break this bed in... give it a good workout..."

Her hands were working his dick faster now. Mac could feel Ethan's hands all over her - paying close attention to her tits, which she knew he loved to squeeze and fondle whenever they fucked - and she loved the warmth of the window behind her. She had been feeling horny all day, what with the excitement of spending a weekend with her boyfriend in a romantic cabin in the woods, and it had been a while since she and Ethan had last fucked. Less than a week, but for a sexually charged girl like Mac it felt like a lifetime.

"Get a room, you two!"

Breaking the kiss, Mac regarded Charlie where he stood in the open doorway, and raised her immaculately plucked eyebrow at the man's cheeky grin. "We HAVE got a room!" She said, "So why don't you close the door and pay that gorgeous girlfriend of yours some attention?"

"She's having a shower," Charlie said.

"Then go join her!" Mac replied, gesturing with one hand in a 'shoo!' motion, while her other hand was still firmly gripping Ethan's cock. "Have fun! Fuck a little! The weekend has begun!"

Charlie grinned and left, mercifully closing the door behind him.

Mac turned her attention back to Ethan. "Where were we?" She purred, before resuming their lusty make-out session.

That quickly turned to a romp on the bed; after a brief moment of Ethan fumbling around his wallet for a condom, while Mac pulled her jeans down to give him access. They pounded it out on the bed in missionary - Mac gripping Ethan's shoulders as she moaned with how good it felt to be fucked on the bed of their luxury getaway cabin by her boyfriend - for a good half-hour.

"Oh fuck... I needed that..." Mac gasped as she felt Ethan tense; a sign he was cuming. She had came also a few minutes earlier, and the warmth of her mild orgasm still burned in her limbs as she untangled herself from Ethan and sat up on the bed. "I guess we broke the bed in..."

"Guess we did," Ethan said. Taking off the condom - bulging with a modest amount of cum - he walked over to the ensuite bathroom and dropped it down the toilet. His cock softening now it had pleased his girl. "We should unpack now." Grinning at her, he added: "find out why your case is so damn heavy!"

"Oh for fuck's sake!" Mac pulled her case up and onto the bed. Unclipping the sides she pulled it open for her boyfriend to see, and practically jumped back as the clothes exploded outward all over the bed. "Jesus! OK... maybe I did over pack..."

Ethan stood there in the doorway to the ensuite, his limp dick hanging out and dripping with a combination of his and her cum, with a wide grin on his face. "Babe... it's only four days... how'd you reckon you needed all these clothes?"

"Well we're going out in the evenings, right?" Mac said. "I need to look good... plus I could get dirty on the trail... or wet in the lake... need to change..." She regarded him with a quizzical look, before turning her attention to his own travel case. "What did you bring?"

Ethan showed her; opening his case on the bed beside hers (having tucked his dick away).

"Three shirts? A pair of jeans? Your Steamdeck?" Mac stared at him. "No underwear?"

"Doing this old-school," Ethan said proudly. "Just like Bryce and I used to do. He taught me a pair of boxers can be worn at least four days before you need to swap it out for a fresh pair."

"Fucking Bryce..." Mac muttered. A thought popped into her head just then, fuelled by a post sex haze: what would Bryce Hunter's four-day-old pair of boxers smell like?

Jesus... that was disgusting. Bad Mac! Down girl!

She just had sex! Why was she suddenly fantasising about sniffing Bryce's underwear?

"Come on! I know you like him really!" Ethan suddenly said.

His voice snapped her out of her sordid thoughts. "What?!?" She stammered.

"I said I know you like him really," Ethan said, apparently not noticing the way Mac's face had suddenly blossomed into a bright red flush. "You pretend to find him annoying, but I know he's wormed his way under your skin. He does that to all of us eventually."

"I... no, not really," Mac tried to insist. She hated that she could feel the heat on her cheeks. "I mean... he's funny... and he's a good guy... he's just... not like Charlie or Junji."

"This isn't because of his background, right?"

"What? No! Nothing like that!" Mac said, gently slapping Ethan on the arm. "Doesn't matter to me that he's going to UOE! I'm not a classist or anything!" She was very fortunate to be born to a wealthy family, and have the upbringing and education that she had received. Mac felt she was very fortunate to be going to Princeton Academy, especially studying the course she was on, and tried to keep herself grounded with the knowledge that not everyone was as lucky as she.

"I know!" Ethan laughed. "You're a good soul, Mac. I'm glad all of you have taken to Bryce. I've known him since we were toddlers."

She knew: Ethan told her often enough. His mother lived next door to Bryce's mother, before Ethan's mother remarried a guy with a ridiculous income, and Ethan found himself moving to a private school; but he still kept in touch with Bryce, and the two had remained firm friends even while they grew up in vastly different social spheres.

Bryce was good to Ethan. Probably why the notorious ladies man, who frequently had sex with married, engaged, and other such women with partners, had never made a move on either Mac, Zhu, or Rachel. No doubt the man fantasised about it - and Mac would be insulted if he didn't - but what happened in Bryce's mind when he was jacking his meat had no bearing on reality. A part of Mac, though, had fun imagining Bryce furiously jerking off a huge eight inch dick while lamenting, with equal furiosity, that said incredible penis wasn't sheathed balls-deep in Mac's tight, wet, and eager pussy.

OK, so that had been some of her own masturbatory fantasies...

Whatever happened in her mind while she was flicking the bean couldn't hurt Ethan. Everyone had their own secret fantasies, after all; it just so happened one of Mac's was having sex with her boyfriend's best friend.

But it was only a fantasy! It had no bearing on reality.

"What are you thinking about?" Ethan said, as he gently caressed her cheek.

"Round two," Mac replied, deflecting both him and herself from thoughts about Bryce.

It took five or ten minutes of gentle coaxing with her mouth, but eventually Ethan grew hard once more, and Mac enjoyed riding him on the bed, all the while struggling not to think about a certain someone else somewhere in this cabin.

~~~~~

Round two didn't last much longer than a half hour, and when they had both tidied themselves up, sorted out their sex hair and adjusted their clothes, Ethan checked his phone and told her he was going to meet the guys down by the lake for some afternoon fishing.

"I don't see your rod in your trunk," Mac said, grinning at the innuendo; after two rounds that cock of his wouldn't be getting hard again for a while. "Did you forget it?"

Ethan shook his head. "Charlie packed the rods," he said. "Surprised you didn't notice."

"I noticed Charlie packing a small army's worth of gear in the boot," Mac said. "I guess he also brought a tent, chairs, and a portable stove for cooking any fish you might catch?" Charlie had been an avid fisher for most of his youth; he would often go fishing with his father, and he had given both Junji and Ethan the fishing bug as well. Only Bryce seemed resistant to the idea, and Mac wondered what he would be doing with the guys on the lake shore.

"Yeah, he's brought everything with him," Ethan said. "Don't want to waste such good weather we're having today... I mean... not that what we just did was wasting anything... I mean it was... you were great! I loved-"

She laid a finger on his lips, silencing him as his stumbling apology was just getting worse. She smiled. "Don't worry," Mac said. "I understand. Go have some fun with the guys at the lake. I'm sure us girls can entertain ourselves... you did mention this place has a hot tub out back, right?"

Ethan nodded. The red flush that had accompanied his embarrassment receded. "Yeah, on the decking facing the lake. You should be able to see us if you use it."

"Oh good, I can keep an eye on you boys," Mac said. "Although do try not to drown yourselves; I doubt I could run down fast enough to rescue you."

"It won't happen again, I promise!"

Mac kissed him on the cheek. "Good boy. Go have fun sitting with a hard rod in your hands."

"Do you have to make it sound so lewd?"

Playfully slapping her boyfriend on the shoulder, Mac followed him down the stairs and into the wide living room, where Rachel and Zhu had draped themselves over the armchairs. From the looks on their faces when they looked up to watch Ethan and Mac descend they had been in the middle of discussing something very sordid, and Mac's heart leapt to her throat: had the sex been that loud? She wasn't much of a screamer, and while she did moan in pleasure, especially when she came, Mac knew she didn't moan that loudly!

"Bryce went into the sauna with that park inspector, what's-her-face... Sue," Rachel said.

Mac blinked. Turned to Ethan. "This place has a sauna room?"

"By the hot tub," Ethan said. "I'm sure I mentioned it. Anyway... good for Bryce. Whenever he makes an appearance tell him we're down by the lake if he wants to join us for a post-fuck drink or two."

"Have fun, babe," Mac said, kissing him.

When Ethan had walked out via the sliding doors along one side of the living room, offering a perfect view of the lake (Mac judged them to be on the same side of the building as the window in the room Ethan and she had chosen), Mac dropped herself into one of the free soft red chairs and grinned at Zhu and Rachel. "How long has he been in there?"

"About fifteen minutes," Zhu said. "Saw them kissing out the back. Sue dragged him into the sauna room when she saw me and Rachel watching."

"Not going to lie: I kinda want to know what they're getting up to in there!" Rachel said, in the manner of someone discussing something naughty and scandalous.

A little harsh for someone like Bryce, Mac thought; the man regularly hooked up with women for casual sex. A little romp in a sauna room of a posh forest cabin with one of the park staff was something Bryce would do. It wouldn't be his craziest hook-up.

Although Mac found herself agreeing with Rachel: she also wanted to know what was going on in that room. She wanted to see the legendary Bryce Hunter in action. Apparently he had tapes of some of his trysts (taken with the consent of his partners, of course), and apparently Ethan had seen one of them once. Her boyfriend refused to describe it, and seemed quite embarrassed that he had watched it at all (understandable, as Mac would be freaked out watching something sexual with Zhu and Rachel involved).

However Mac had always wondered what was on that tape: how did the legendary Bryce fuck?

"You alright Mac?" Rachel said. "You seem to be zoning out."

"I'm going to sneak a peek!" Mac said, suddenly. Grinning at Zhu and Rachel, she stood up.

"Seriously?" Rachel said, leaning forward in shock. "Mac! I was joking! I don't want to see him fuck!"

"Really?" Mac said, raising an eyebrow.

Rachel's mouth opened, then closed; the woman blushed.

"Yeah... you thought about it too," Mac said, grinning.

"Yeah, but just... you know..." Rachel said, miming masturbating. "I'm not a cheater!"