Wet Willie

Competition Entry for April Fools 2019 contest.

My wife and I have lived in our current home for over ten years. Our neighbours are married with two kids. We live in semi detached houses. This is when two homes have one wall in the middle between them (explained for our American cousins!)

Because of this joining of two homes, they are a bit cheaper to buy than fully detached homes. But semi detached means that you can hear what is going on in the house next door and the gardens are joined together so you have no choice but to be friendly with "next door." Even if they have babies crying all night, dogs that yap, yap all day and a husband who sings terrible songs when working at home, which makes you cringe when you hear it through the wall.

My wife and I are in our fifties, while our neighbours, who have just recently moved in are both 30 years old. They have two babies, two cars, two dogs and two arguments per day. If they go out the house is quiet (apart from the dogs). If they are home, we know due to all the noise coming through the adjoining wall.

My name is Jim and my wife is Sylvia. Our kids have moved out to live in their own places, to work and look after their loved ones. Sylvia and I are empty nesters and have our own interests and lives going on independently. She hasn't worked since being made redundant when she was 40 years old and didn't need to return to work as I made a small fortune. I was able to retire early having made a lot of money setting up, running, owning and then selling an engineering firm last year. We both no longer need to work, however I do Consultancy on wind, wave or solar power projects from time to time.

I am a home lover, so spend time doing DIY jobs around the house, in the garden growing flowers, fruit and vegetables as well as entering yearly sunflower growing contests.

Sylvia needs to get out of the house regularly or she goes "stir crazy" so she regularly sees her sisters, goes to a weekly book reading club, a day trip club and other things that she has been going along to for years. I'm really not interested in half of what she does; it could be like knitting, cake making, shopping, etc. I know she sees another man who she used to work with for sex. Our lovemaking is getting less and less over time. I'm not particularly bothered after all the years we have been together.

Consequently I am home a lot and Sylvia is often out of the house. So I have got to know our neighbours better than she. Either face to face or through the wall. Our neighbours are called Joanne and Ethan. Ethan is annoying while Jo as she prefers to be called, is much more talkative and friendly. More so with Sylvia than me, I think due to the fact we are married couples. Jo is very attractive with a fantastic rack and cute butt. She is small though perfectly formed with long dark hair and brown eyes.

Ethan tries to do DIY jobs around his home but usually makes a mess of them. So a trend started whereby Jo would talk to Sylvia who would ask me to pop around to their home and fix whatever it was he had been working on so it didn't go wrong. It could be some woodwork on a staircase, plumbing work under a sink, outside lights. You name it I had to fix most of his work. Most jobs I did when their house was empty. So Ethan wasn't embarrassed about his level of handiwork.

Just then I heard;

"I'm off out now" Sylvia called. "Your lunch is in the fridge Jim".

"Ok thank you" I replied from the garage where I was tinkering with some rare earth magnets.

"Oh" she called again "Don't forget you have to go round to Jo and Ethan's house. He has bought gold fascia plug sockets to replace their old white ones. He has fitted them but now nothing electrical downstairs is working. Can you sort it out? Thanks darling! Bye!"

"Not another chore for me." I thought, as I heard the front door close behind her and then her car engine fired up.

Half an hour later I walk next door with my electrical toolbox. With all the noise through the walls and chores lined up for me, I am getting fed up of these people.

Unusually Jo was home this time.

"Hi sweetheart" I said as usual to my neighbour. "Oh! Hiya, Jim." she said.

"Sorry I had no clothes for work with the washing machine, dryer and iron all not working I could not go in. I hope you do not mind me being here for once? While you work?"

"Ethan has buggered things up big time, this time." She said looking sad. "I don't know what we would do without you Jim. Thank you for helping out so much." She said as she leaned towards me and then gave me a big hug. She was less than five feet tall, but with everything in the right places and proportions, while I'm over 6 feet tall and 16 stone. Consequently as she pulled me close and squashed her chest against me; her boobs where pressed against my junk.

"Don't worry about it," I said "I am happy to help out" moving back from her so she didn't feel my cock going stiff immediately under her nice big rack.

"Make me a cup of tea would you?" I asked "I'm parched." trying to change the subject.

Jo moved away from me, she tuned her head and I noticed a sad look on her face.

"What is that face all about" I thought. Even at my age I didn't have a clue what goes on in a woman's head. It was very apparent as Jo's demeanour seemed to become less cheerful since I had move away from her hug.

I had a look at the socket fascias that Ethan had fitted. Clearly he is an idiot. Of the 3 wires in an electrical circuit (in the UK); earth, neutral and live wires he had only attached the earth and neutral to the socket fascia, plus he had not continued the mains loop.

I went back to talk to Jo who was in the kitchen stood with a pile of washing waiting to be ironed.

"As soon as you sort it out" she said "I've got this lot to do" as she pointed to the crumpled clothes. Then she said;

"Our boy Luke is downloading some game or something on his Xbox in his bedroom so could you not turn off the mains electricity upstairs please? Apparently it takes 12 hours to download Luke says."

"That's ok" I said. "The fuse box has trip switches for each part of your house, lighting, skirting boards downstairs, upstairs, the hall so I can just turn off the juice in sections." I smiled at her and got on with the tasks.

Eventually I had worked my way to the last socket which needed fixing. It was in the living room by the TV. Jo was sat on the couch reading a Cosmo magazine and asking me rude quiz questions about sex in the mag. She seemed to be buzzing once again, which I liked to see, so despite trying to concentrate on what I was doing, I was playing along with her as it made me glad to see her so happy. Generally she was pretty mad and shouting which I heard through the walls.

"Well reverse cowboy" I said "can only be accomplished by someone who has trained their horse to walk backwards!" I watched her go red with laughter. Then I answered her next question; "A pearl necklace is a bit old fashioned really nowadays but I'd love to give you one." I said.

"My word!" she said "You do not have a clue do you what you are talking about?" she managed to say in between a fit of giggles.

Just then I pulled the metal socket fascia off the wall by the TV, it touched an exposed 240 volt live cable and electrocuted me. Even though I had turned off the downstairs wall sockets at the meter the wire was still live when it should not be. Someone, probably Ethan had cocked up the wiring going into the fuse box.

"Shiite" I mumbled as I tried to drop the socket which was live with electricity. It seems to take forever before you can drop things when you get a electric shock but actually it is just a split second. As long as you let go quickly you can escape unharmed. But it is dangerous. I had experienced electric shocks a long time ago when younger but this one still gave me a fright. It takes several seconds to get control of yourself after a shock.

I gradually became aware that I was laying flat on my back on the carpet in Jo's house, she was leaning over me crying with my face in her hands. "Are you ok Jim?" she was repeating over and over.

"I've always really liked you Joanne" I mumbled as I lay there. In fact I find you very attractive and have wanted you for ages, but that's not going to happen now is it?" I said as I trembled and shuddered as the electricity dissipated through my body.

"Oh Jim" she said into my ear hugging me close, "I've always fancied loving you too. All the things you do to help us, and you will not take money or anything in return for helping us so much"

"There is one thing you could do for me" I groaned "before I lose consciousness could you give me a wet willie?"

"Wow" says Jo "And I thought you were so far behind the times, I don't know Ethan might be home soon." She looked at the clock and said its ok we can. We have got a good hour and a half before he leaves work." So she began to undo the front of my pants.

I was very surprised but did not say anything I was now fully conscious, the electric shock having worn off, but Jo didn't know that. So I kept still with my eyes shut.

"What date is it today?" I whispered. Jo said "I don't know. I'll ask Alexa, Amazon's talking computer. Alexa what day is it today?" Alexa answered "It is the first of the fourth 2019 and the weather is...." Jo interrupted "Thank you Alexa."

I let Jo carry on undoing my pants and lowered my Y-fronts. Then I felt a lovely warm moisture envelope my knob as her mouth closed around my tool.

"Oh that is amazing!" I groaned as my tool arose to its full 8 inches. It pushed on the back of Jo's throat lifting her cheeks off my balls causing her to put one hand on my cock to steady herself. "That is so good" I said.

"My word!" Jo said, as she pulled away and looked down at my tool. "The electricity has certainly made that impressive." She said.

"Ok Cowboy" she said as she swung a leg over my thighs "There will be no reversing for this cow hand." She slipped the crotch of her knickers to one side and lowered herself on my tool."

Both of us groaned together "Urgh" as her tightness and my girth played on our apparatus. She began to pump away on me working me deeper and deeper into her cunt.

"I've wanted you so bad for so long" Jo said. She was grinning so much and smiling as she pumped me, that I lifted up my arms and put them behind my head lay back and relaxed. Then I grinned at her as I kept perfectly still and enjoyed the effort she was putting into riding me.

"Oh, you nasty piece of work" she said as she saw me laughing. "I thought you might be going to die! That's why I though I'd give you what you wanted!" She thumped my chest with her palm.

"Haha" I laughed as I rolled her onto her back. "Do you know what a wet willie is?" I asked.

"Isn't your willy wet now?" she asked looking angry as I slowly pushed up and down her slot with my big tool. I put my little finger in her mouth and she sucked on it for a minute making it wet. Then I pulled it out of her mouth and popped it down her ear hole and simulated love making as I pulled it in and out of her ear. "Oh" Jo groaned as it aroused her.

"That is a wet willy" I said laughing. "Its a game whereby you have a wrestle with each other and the one who can stick his or her wet little pinkie finger into your ear "A wet Willy" is the winner" I explained.

"I put your willy in my mouth to make it wet and then I decided to have sex with you because of you getting an electric shock that is our fault, so you decided to fake being ill so I would make love to you?"

"Well do you know what day it is today?" I said as I increased my speed ploughing her ass into the carpet in her lounge. "Yes" she groaned. "Its April Fool's Day and do you really think you fooled me into having sex with you?"

The Jo rolled me onto my back and sat up straight directly above my todger. "Now who is the fool" she said as she rode me hard, swaying her pelvis backwards and forwards. As I felt my pleasure rising;

I thought "I had outsmarted her to get what I wanted, but it seems she knew what I was doing and instead she played me to get what she wanted."

As she orgasmed for the second time on my knob within minutes of her first cum, I felt my sap rising like a tree in spring and I unloaded deep into her love canal.

"Oh that is so good, I knew you were a such a nice guy and wouldn't give me your big knob up to me easily. But that orgasm is just what I wanted to feel" Jo said "So who is the fool now" she grinned as she pulled my nose.

The END

P.S. A few more DIY jobs occurred at regular intervals over the following years especially on the 1st April.