What It Takes

••

Back home Jerry ran me a hot bath then had to take some calls about his upcoming schedule for rehearsals & touring, whilst I laid soaking in a sea of bubbles lamenting the fact that it was going to be at least a month before I saw him again. We'd only known each other a couple of days, but I could already feel myself getting addicted to him. God I was going to miss those hands, those eyes, his laughter. 'Better get used to it' I told myself, 'not as if our lives are gonna be easy to co-ordinate!' I sank lower in the tub, closing my eyes and began to sing, far quieter than I would usually; I didn't want anyone to hear me!

"Do you miss me?

Like I miss you

If you miss me,

Never go away

Hopefully, you'll come and stay someday"

"That's a pretty song and you got a real pretty voice." Jerry said leaning in the doorway of the bathroom startling me and causing a small tidal wave as I shot back up into a sitting position.

"Christ, you're light on your feet!" The wave flowed over onto the floor.

"That's why they call me twinkle toes," Jerry laughed spinning around like a ballerina. "Anyway, I thought you knew I was here, weren't you singin' that for me?"

"No! Christ Jerry, your ego does not need any further inflation from me, that's for sure! I retorted pulling a towel from the rail to mop up the mess I'd made. "Can you grab me another towel from the cupboard so I can get out please?"

"Sure, if you promise to let me take you to dinner tonight."

"Ok, it's not like that'll be a hardship now is it?" I grinned.

"Yeah, but you've not heard my other request yet." He said dangling the towel just out of my reach. I raised my eyebrows indicating he should continue. "Wear somethin' sexy and pack an over night bag." I eyed him suspiciously.

"What kind of sexy?"

"Surprise me."

I shook my head at him, "That's no bloody good to me; I need to know where we're going so I can dress appropriately." He thought for a moment and said:

"Just try not to look like a hooker." Then laughed that very dirty laugh of his.

"Wanker!" I said flicking water at him and standing up, "You're no help at all, just give me the damn towel!" He conceded and stepped over to wrap it around me, hugging me tight and kissing me hard. We stayed like that for a minute or two and I felt his dick swelling between us. I pushed myself against it, but Jerry groaned and took a step back.

"Oh God, you turn me on. But not now, the table's at Eight, and it's nearly Seven so you'd better get ready."

"Shit!" I exclaimed, "That's not enough time to even decide what to wear Jerry. You know how to make it difficult for a girl don't you?" I began drying myself quickly, as he rearranged his jeans wincing.

"You'd look great in a sack, stop worrying! I'll leave you to get dressed, I don't trust myself to stay and watch."

I ran to my closet and began rifling. Sexy? That covered a vast multitude of looks in my book, what did he think was sexy? I pulled out dresses and even a leather mini skirt all of which I'd worn as a much younger woman and wondered why I even still had them as I rejected each one in turn. 'Fuck it. I'll wear what I feel comfortable in!' I decided pulling open my underwear drawer and taking out a black lace and blue satin basque. Worn with a tight velvet jacket and dark blue jeans this wouldn't be seen as a basque, but would suggest that there was more sexiness below the surface.

I straightened my hair and put on my makeup adding some smoky blue eye shadow and black eyeliner to heighten the look and sprayed some perfume in the right places. I was just pulling on some stiletto boots when Jerry called up the stairs that I had 5 minutes before we had to leave. Shit – I needed to pack a bag too! Back at my underwear drawer I rummaged looking for something special to wear later. I was big on comfort usually wearing pyjamas to bed, and not having had a man in my life for so long meant that I didn't know where any of the sexy stuff was any more! Right at the back I found a cream slip satin nightdress, it was crumpled, but it would have to do. Grabbing a change of clothes for the next day and the bare minimum of toiletries I flung it all into a holdall. I picked up the clutch bag I'd bought for the party and threw in some makeup, keys and my phone before running for the stairs. At the top I stood for a second and took a deep breath, not wanting to look all flustered.

Having showered in the guest bathroom, Jerry was waiting for me by the front door looking pretty damn hot himself in black jeans, a white shirt and the black jacket he'd put around my shoulders on Thursday night. His hair was lose and still damp.

God I wanted him.

He watched me descend the stairs, smiling his approval at my choice of outfit as his eyes raked over me. The jacket nipped my waist in and the basque gave me an enormous cleavage, plus there was nothing like a pair of three-inch stilettos to make you appear slimmer than you really were!

"Do I fit the bill?" I asked as I reached the bottom giving him a twirl.

"And some." He replied whistling through his teeth. "You look amazing; I might have a riot on my hands tonight with you looking like that."

"What, do I look slutty?" I asked suddenly concerned that my idea of understated was way off.

"'Course not, just hot as hell. Now c'mere and show me what's under that jacket." He pulled me to him and undid the single button displaying the silk and lace underneath. "You gotta be kiddin' me? How can you expect me to go out now that I've seen that?" His eyes nearly popping out of his head.

"Show some restraint man. It'll give you something to look forward to," I chastised.

"Yeah that's the problem, I've gotta sit across from you imagining all the things I'm gonna do to you later, it's gonna be uncomfortable..." he shook his head ruefully and pulled my waist in to meet his so I could feel his growing hard on. I wasn't going to admit it, but I was just as ready to jack dinner in and have him take me right there on the stairs, as I'm sure he would've. We kissed, but once again Jerry stopped us going too far. "What the fuck are you doin' to me woman?" I pouted, wiping lip-gloss from his lips as he opened the front door. "Now get in the car before I change my mind!" He said slapping my bum.

••

We drove into San Francisco, and even though I was guessing our destination every few minutes, Jerry refused to tell me. It wasn't until we turned onto Market Street and I saw the Four Seasons, did he finally give it up.

"Oooh fancy, I've never stayed here before. Never really needed to!" I said excited at the prospect of being treated like a VIP for a change, after all it was usually me doing the running around after them!

"I thought you'd like it. We're gonna have dinner here too," he said as we turned in.

"Noooo, really? It's so posh in there!" My eyes were wide at the prospect. "I should've worn something different," I suddenly felt nervous; sure that everyone would know I didn't belong there.

Jerry tutted, "Don't be stupid, you look fantastic. Like a rock star yourself in fact!"

My door was opened by a doorman who offered me his hand in order to help me down from my seat.

"Good Evening Madam," the doorman tipped his hat to me, I returned the greeting and waited for Jerry as he handed over the keys to the valet and a bellboy took our bags. We checked in and were told our table was awaiting us, whenever we were ready.

Jerry placed a comforting hand on my waist and ushered me through to the restaurant where we were greeted by the Maître D who asked us if he could take our jackets.

"I'm just fine thank you," I replied blushing at the thought of sitting there without it. Jerry smirked and winked at me as he handed his over and we were shown to our table.

"I could get used to this," I whispered over my menu when we were alone.

"Well you'd better not spend too much time with me then darlin'," Jerry laughed. "I'm not in Metallica!"

"Seriously though, what's this all in aid of? You must know there's no need to wine and dine me, I'm a low key kind of girl," I asked him puzzled by such a grand gesture.

"Two reasons. Firstly, to make it up to you after dunking you in the Pacific earlier..."

I frowned at him. "But you've already done that. Remember the car?"

He silenced me with a look "...And, because I wanted to let you know that this ain't just a casual fling as far as I'm concerned. I don't do this kind of thing for every woman I meet y'know."

I fought the urge to tell him that he'd be broke if he did. My usual knee jerk reaction to an uncomfortable situation was to make it into a joke, but something in Jerry's eyes told me he wouldn't appreciate any wisecracks right now.

"Oh," was all I could muster.

Fortunately I was saved from having to comment as the waiter brought over the wine to be tasted. This bought me a couple of minutes of thinking time and I stared down at my menu.

I could feel Jerry's eyes burning into me as my mind raced. I was over the moon of course, he was gorgeous, fun, a gentlemen and a fantastic fuck. But he was hardly a safe bet and I wasn't sure if I wanted to start something that would ultimately end in tears and a broken heart. But how did I tell him that?

I thanked the waiter and smiled at him as he filled my glass, feeling tempted to grab his arm and ask him inane questions just so that I didn't have to have this conversation with Jerry right now, but I let him walk away.

"Ok, I know it's a bit soon to be makin' any promises and that's not what I'm trying to do here," Jerry began by way of explanation, sensing my disquiet. "But I felt something today and I know you did too. I just can't ignore that, I don't want to. Fuck Elle I know what you think of me; I'm just some love 'em and leave 'em rock dude who can have any girl he wants and that has been true in the past, it's been easier to fuck around than get fucked up again. I know I've avoided growing up for the longest time, but somethin' 'bout you feels different, right... Oh I don't even know what I'm trying to say!" he shrugged and leaned back in his chair searching my face for a reaction.

This information was pretty out of the blue and I hadn't quite let it sink in yet. But I wasn't going to panic and I wasn't going to try and hide again either. We sat for a few minutes just regarding each other across the table. I knew I wanted this more than anything, but I was far from naive and really didn't fancy our chances of making a relationship work. I was going to be cautious.

"You're right," I began calmly, "this is a little bit heavy for a first date. I do think you're a womaniser and yes, I did feel something earlier too. That's why I'm still here and haven't laughed in your face," I picked up my glass wanting down its entire contents to give me the courage to make a decision, because I knew that once I had there'd be no going back. I was stalling.

"And?" Jerry leaned forward again and rested his elbows on the table.

"And, well let's just see how it goes. I don't think now is the right time to be starting something, when you're about to go on tour and spend two months in Europe."

"But you'll be there too," Jerry interjected.

"Yeah on the same continent, sometimes in the same place, but we'll both be working, it's not like we'll be able to spend any quality time together is it?"

Jerry shrugged and I had to smile at the way the dynamics had suddenly switched between us. I was actually the one in control!

"Look, let's just have some fun when we can, no pressure hey?" I reached across the table and took one of the hands Jerry was resting his chin on. "I'm not saying no, just trying to be a grown up," I gave his hand a squeeze and with a wink I added "one of us has to!"

He laughed then and turned my hand over and kissed the palm. "Cool, let's have some fun."

••

After a truly exceptional dinner and a bottle of wine, I was ready to let my hair down a bit after the formalness of the restaurant and I talked Jerry into some bar hopping. Much to my horror we walked passed a pretty cheesy Karaoke place and he insisted on going in. 'I wanna hear you sing properly!' he'd said.

I had visions of Cameron Diaz in 'My Best Friend's Wedding', screeching like a banshee and embarrassing myself entirely and said I would only consider singing if he did it first. This would give me time to get some serious Dutch courage in.

As we sat at the bar it was a relief for me to hear that there were also a few other shockers in for the evening; the seventy-year-old Elvis wannabe murdering 'Suspicious Minds' was a particular favourite of mine. There was also clearly a crowd of regulars, who had their songs nailed and were pretty competitive.

"What are you going to sing?" I yelled in Jerry's ear over a twenty-something Beyonce impersonator who was giving it some serious welly.

"Just wait and see. You should really start thinkin' about your song," he said sliding the book in front of me.

Shit! He really was going to make me sing.

"I'm serious Jerry, I have a terrible voice & you'll be so embarrassed that you'll never want to be seen in public with me again!" he just nodded, clearly not buying it, even though it was true. I motioned to the bartender and asked for 2 tequila shots and 2 more beers.

"Am I carrying you back to the hotel later?" Jerry asked when the drinks arrived.

"It's ok, one of the beers is for you," I grinned knocking back my first shot. One of my rules in life had always been: if in doubt have Tequila! It had worked for me up until now and I saw no reason why it shouldn't tonight.

Jerry raised his eyebrows as I sucked on a lime. "Don't worry," I reassured him, "me and Jose go way back."

Jerry was called then and he made his way towards the tiny stage. As he took the mic I heard the opening notes of The Doors 'Love Me Two Times'

"Love me two times, baby
Love me twice today
Love me two times, girl
I'm goin' away…"

When it was over I clapped and wolf whistled along with the rest of the bar, many of whom had recognised Jerry and were shaking his hand and patting him on the back as he made his way towards me.

"That was cool babe!" I beamed at him flinging my arms around his neck and planting a kiss on his lips. "Think I got then message."

"Well it's your turn now sugar. Better make up your mind before I pick somethin' for you." He laughed waving the book at me again. I sighed and sunk my second shot.

"I've already decided actually, so be prepared to die laughing, 'cos I ain't no Britney!"

Knowing that if I tried to do something properly, I'd just look like an idiot I'd remembered my old party number from when I was in college; Kate Bush's 'Wuthering Heights'. I knew my voice was in the right range and back in the day people would always make me get up and sing this after a few drinks, because I did a great take off of her strange dancing.

Unfortunately I didn't have to wait too long and they called my name as I was coming back from the restroom. If only I'd gone a couple of minutes later, I might've missed my slot!

I grudgingly walked to the front and took the microphone from its stand and made an immediate apology for my upcoming poor performance,

"If you'd like to take it up with anyone afterwards, please see the blonde gentleman at the bar" I said pointing to Jerry who held both his hands up in defence.

The piano introduction started and I held back a snigger as I hung my head and went into character.

I leaned forward extending my arm reaching dramatically whilst I swayed and flung my hair a'la Kate. The singing wasn't too bad, but I was determined not make eye contact with Jerry throughout the song, knowing I'd start laughing and never stop if I did.

Once it was over the audience actually gave me quite a nice round of applause. I thanked them and apologised again before making a beeline for the next cold beer. When I made it back to my stool at the bar, Jerry was still clapping and whistling, I hit him to make him stop, sat down and put my head on the bar.

"You happy now that you've humiliated me?" I asked turning to him.

"Are you kidding me?" he asked incredulous, "That was great! Where'd you learn to do that? You could make money being a Kate Bush impersonator if we got you a wig and some ballet outfits."

"Shut up!" I replied hitting him again.

"I'm serious, you coulda been her, 'specially the moves."

I just laughed shaking my head. "God I need a cigarette, can I have one of yours?"

"Sure, don't be too long though babe, you don't want to miss my next performance, it's for you," I kissed him lightly and went outside. As I stood with the other outcasts I heard a familiar bass line start up; someone was actually daring to sing 'Would?' in Jerry's presence! I smoked quickly in order to get back and lend my support.

I opened the door to enter the bar and saw that most eyes were not on the grungy looking bearded guy singing, but on poor Jerry. People were actually craning their necks to get a look at his reaction. As I approached him I could see him smiling and tapping his foot in time to the music, as he swigged his beer.

"Hey babe," I said leaning over his shoulder and kissing his cheek, "you ok?"

"Yeah, 'course." came the reply as he swivelled around on his stool and wound his arm around my waist, "I've had this before, it's ok. I think it's cool when people sing my songs, it's when everyone else stares at me that it's a bit disconcerting, y'know?"

"Yes I can see that." I said looking around the bar as people nudged each other and whispered. I wanted to stick my tongue out and give them the V sign, but held back, it wasn't me they were looking at after all.

The grungy guy finished his song, screaming the final few lines and then shouted "Alice In Chains! YEEEAAAAHHH!" threw his microphone on the floor and gave Jerry the two horned salute. I had to fight my face not to burst out laughing, but Jerry stood and applauded the rendition graciously, giving the guy two thumbs up.

The spectacle over, people went back to their drinks as the next performer made their way frontwards. And we were once again able to cosy up and enjoy the entertainment like everyone else, until Jerry was called for his second performance of the evening.

"I'd like to dedicate this to the gorgeous redhead at the bar," Jerry said straight off causing everyone to turn and stare at me. I covered my face with my hands as I blushed. Then the song started and I blushed even deeper, absolutely mortified that he would pick a Metallica song. As the guitar intro went on I shook my head and pulled a face at Jerry letting him know how cheesy I thought this was.

The whole time he was singing he kept his eyes on me and once again we became the focal point for the entire room. I wanted the ground to swallow me up I'd never been so embarrassed. There was nowhere to hide so I just had sit there grinning like an idiot. It was probably the longest six and a half minutes of my life. When the song was over, the whole place erupted, everyone was on their feet, except me who was rooted to my bar stool like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck. A woman a couple of stools down from me at the bar came over and said "You're one lucky girl, honey!"

"Yeah, I know... thanks," I replied bashfully looking down at my feet, I couldn't bear all this attention.

It took Jerry twice as long to get back to me this time as it seemed everyone had something to say to him. I took a long gulp and drained my beer as I waited for him, desperately wanting to get the hell out of there as soon as possible.

When he finally reached me he was grinning ear to ear and he brought his hands up to my face and kissed me hard, raising another cheer.