What? No Waffles?

Then finally, "You tell me you have not for one moment desired to sleep with Tami, and I will not leave this bedroom until their gone! I'm serious."

I blasted back, "The difference? I wasn't ready to fuck Tami in the living room 5 seconds after seeing her pussy!"

She left the room.

I was harsh and insensitive. I was wrong. I realized it. But, damn it, I was right, too. Crap! Crap, crap, crap! Am I that insecure or what? Well, Yes! After 22 years of truly wedded bliss, my wife wanted to fuck another man. Come to think of it, maybe it wasn't 22 years of "wedded bliss." Maybe it was just "bliss" on my part. After all, they say "Ignorance is bliss." But all it took was this incident to bring out the truth and Lana's hidden desires.

Of course, after 22 years, I knew better. I knew Lana didn't have hidden desires and had never seriously considered sleeping with another man and had never actually lusted after one. But a combination of booze, Tami, and Ray had started Lana on a slippery slope. Now she had desires she never experienced before. I was more wrong than right. Either I did trust, love and respect Lana, or I didn't. It couldn't be both ways. I didn't know how to handle this. I suspected there was no right way to handle it. I fell into a troubled sleep.

I don't know what time it was when the noise awoke me, but I heard my wife in the next room, begging for "that long cock in me...Oh it's huge!"

VI. PANDORA'S BOX

I sat bolt upright in bed, disoriented. Lana had left. We had fought. I didn't know where she went when she left. I jumped out of bed and dashed into the hall, stubbing my toe and almost doing a header over the banister.

The house was dead quiet. I silently walked downstairs, blood pounding in my ears. Lana was curled up on the sofa in front of the fireplace, which still had some glowing embers. I could see the tear lines in her make-up. I went and sat in the chair caddy-corner to the couch and watched her sleep. My head hurt, my stomach hurt and my heart hurt.

She became restless, mumbled something, and awoke staring at the fire. Then she saw me out of the corner of her eye and was momentarily startled.

I quickly reassured her, "It's only me."

"Oh. What are you doing down here? I thought you were asleep." It wasn't the friendliest greeting she had ever given me.

"I was, but I had a bad dream and it woke me up. I came to check on you," I replied.

"Yeah, I had a bad dream, too," she replied without elaborating.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, knowing I was probably the last person she wanted to share anything with right now.

"You wouldn't like it," she answered stiffly.

"Not liking things seems to be my new occupation. If you need to talk about it, I'll listen and I won't judge. I'm done doing that. And I'm sorry," I added. It was weak but it was a start.

She sounded on the verge of tears, "Me too, honey. I've been selfish, very selfish. I made assumptions and didn't really consider your feelings because I didn't want them to interfere with my desire. It seems silly to me now; seeing some guy's penis and touch ing it...and all the other."

Her voice trailed off. She couldn't say "sucking it!" She was embarrassed. She continued, "And I'm sorry about...getting too excited...desire...I'm sorry."

Again, she couldn't say what she meant to - "getting sloppy wet and wanting to have sex with Ray." I was glad she didn't say it.

"Lana, baby, you don't owe me an apology. You had an innocent desire to see something you never had. That opened another door and you were faced with a desire you had never dealt with. I turned it into something sinister. Jealousy clouded my thinking. Give me another chance. Let's try to deal with this differently. Let me try to deal with it differently."

After a pause, I continued, "Tell me about your dream."

She hesitated, thinking, deciding then, not looking at me, she started, "I was in a room full of mirrors, made of mirrors. I could see you in some of them and Ray in some. Then, in the repeated reflections, I could see other images, darker reflections, I could see other men, men I didn't know and whom I couldn't make out clearly. But, one thing was clear - they were all there to have sex with me. And I turned to you for help, but when I got to you, it was just your reflection. Then Ray approached me and not in a reflection. He was naked and erect and I was afraid I was going to have sex with him and couldn't stop myself. And if I had sex with him, I knew I wouldn't be able to stop; I was going to keep going and have sex with the rest of the men. So I quickly turned and ran from mirror to mirror to find you. But each time it was just your reflection. That's when I woke up."

Well it didn't take Sigmund Freud to figure this one out. I was supposed to be there for her, to help her deal with her "new" desires. Instead, I was inaccessible, and she was at the mercy of her lust, and she was afraid of what that lust could lead to.

I was too.

I had to work this out with her. We had to get to this right for both of us. Because of things that had happened, a Pandora's Box of sorts had been opened. And simply closing the lid, like I wanted, wasn't the answer.

I, we, had to deal with what came out - Lana's new awareness that she had no sexual experiences before me, beyond me. And when faced with the possibility of satisfying her curiosity of being with another man, she was more than tempted, and I was more than jealous! Now, I needed to convince her that what she did, what she felt, was completely natural and not evil and that I was wrong for trying to make her feel guilty.

I tried. I explained how terrible I felt for my angry words, for attacking her. We both openly discussed our feelings. I'm not sure where we ended with everything, but we did fall asleep in each other's arms on the sofa. Ray and Tami found us that way in the morning. We awoke to them making breakfast. We quickly went upstairs, freshened up and joined them for a pleasant morning meal.

Tami spoke up first, "We know you guys are having trouble with what we did. We are very, very sorry. I feel responsible and I don't know what to do. Please don't be upset at each other; be upset at me. I got drunk and carried away, I..."

I quickly interrupted her, "Tami, we all went along; it wasn't just you. And we are fine. We had to work through some things. I got my shorts in a twist. They're untwisted now. I think what happened needed to happen, especially for Lana. She needed that 'different experience.' I only wish I hadn't messed it up for her. I know there's no way to go back and do it over, to take back what I did and said.

But, at least Lana did get to have a special experience with Ray. And Ray, you were terrific. You were a gentleman. You weren't pushy or vulgar. I appreciate that. I appreciate both of you. And to be honest, afterwards, we had some of the best sex we ever had."

Tami made a gasping sound, "Holy Crap! Ain't that the truth! We did too! Wow!"

Ray seconded that and Tami continued, "I was so worried. I'm glad you could work things out. After talking about it, Ray and I agreed we got carried away. But, we thought it was also an exciting, eye opening experience and well, kind of sexually liberating. I guess that's a way of putting it. I know it could have gone very badly, but with you guys, it was very special. Thank you. And I do hope we can still be friends. That is very important to both of us."

I suggested, "Let's put the drama behind us and enjoy the rest of our time together."

And we did. We found some cards and a couple of board games. We collaborated on some great meals and just enjoyed hanging out together for the next few days. Ray and Tami talked about how they met and Lana and I talked about our kids and the challenges of parenthood and "spouse hood."

Tami and Lana knitted booties. (Sorry, just entertaining myself a little...)

That afternoon, I got a call on the CB that the road crews should reach us by tomorrow and next the electric company would be restoring power, possibly that same day.

We talked about how we would spend our time for our last few days. Lana and I had four more days left on the rental, so we could get some more skiing and sightseeing in. We all agreed to get together and spend some of the remaining time on the slopes and enjoying each other's company. All's well that ends well.

If it had ended then...

VII: HONNNK!

After a great lunch, I mixed up my wife's favorite, Long Islands, and broke out a bottle of Patron Reposado for Ray and me. I tracked it down at a high end hotel bar, which was nice enough to sell me a couple bottles. I had introduced Ray, a scotch man, to sipping tequila and he was developing quite a taste for it. He had to. I had no scotch.

Tami had been unusually quiet all morning. I figured it was too early to be blue about leaving, because, including tomorrow, we still had four more days. This was totally unlike her. At the moment, we were sitting around the bar. Ray, Lana and I were planning our itinerary for the remaining time. Tami was sitting quietly, playing with her drink.

Finally, she spoke, "Honey, Jack, Lana, I'm not sure how to bring this up..."

She paused, then "I want to talk about...us..."

She was having difficulty saying what was on her mind - also totally unlike her.

"I'm not even sure how I feel...I just know if we don't address this now, later will be too late. Damn, I'm sorry. I need another drink. I think we should all have one."

Concerned, Ray asked, "What is it babe? I think everybody's cool here." (I thought the expression "cool" went out with my parents.)

"Thanks honey. I need the drink first," she emphasized.

Ray nodded and smiled and left her with her thoughts. I freshened everybody's drinks and we sat in silence, waiting patiently for Tami.

After practically downing her drink, she started, "I think we've developed a special bond. We went through something together that was very risky and, well, pretty outrageous and it could have gone badly. But I think because of our connection, we made the best of it, and it turned out very well. I was blown away by the experience. And like we said, afterwards, we had the best sex ever."

She laughed nervously then looked at each of us one at a time and took a big swallow of her drink. "I know it was a little dicey for you, Jack. I think you had a tougher time than the rest of us. So I hope you don't freak."

She finished her drink in one gulp and started, "I don't think any of us can deny how attracted we have become to each other..."

Honnnk, Honnnk!

"I think we should sleep together."

SPLAT!

She waited; nobody spoke. We all just sat there. Even Ray looked stunned. Sleep together! Swap! Oh, that's all! I was worried it was going to be something off the wall, like letting her husband fuck my wife and...

Voice wavering, she said, "I believe we each want to. I know we are afraid, but I think it is what...we want..." She couldn't finish. She had put it all out there. Now, all she could do was wait for our reactions.

I knew Lana desired Ray and that he would readily jump her if she stood still in one place too long. And I knew now, for sure, that Tami wanted to sleep with me. And, yes I wanted to sleep with Tami, but that desire, for me, was not overwhelming. It was not a problem.

"Long Dong's" dick in my wife - that was the problem. I just couldn't get passed that. No matter how I rationalized. Even if I accepted her desire for him as an innocent by-product of what we went through, I couldn't get my head around the reality.

Crap. I had promised my wife I would handle things differently; I wouldn't fly off the handle; I wouldn't allow jealousy to rule me. But, damn, I hadn't thought of this when I said that.

I finally broke the silence, "Guys, Lana and I have to talk."

Tami replied, "Ray and I do too."

We left them in the living room and went upstairs. Lana sat on the bed; I stood. I was too agitated to sit. I felt like that deer again.

In as neutral a voice as I could, I asked Lana, "Do you want to do this?" I knew and dreaded the answer.

In a small voice, "Honestly...yes."

Then in a stronger voice, "You know about the desire I had. Now, I really want to...I don't want to stop where we did. I know how that sounds. And, I'm afraid, afraid of how things might turn out, afraid of what it could do to us. If I sleep with Ray, you will be sleeping with Tami. I'm worried that after 22 years, you might find out what you've been missing - that a younger, sexier woman can offer more than I can."

As she continued, she became a little defensive, "Look, I didn't get that 'different' experience that you had before we married. And now that I, um...tested the waters, I'm more curious than ever. I've never desired another man before...but now I do...I want to have sex...with Ray. I'm turned on right now by that thought. I can't get it out of my head."

When she started, I don't think she meant to be that brutally honest, to share that much, but it just rolled out.

And I wished it hadn't.

She was crying and shaking her head. "I'm sorry. I feel like I've already cheated on you; like the first time I was tempted, I just rolled over and spread my legs."

Then, no longer able to make eye contact with me, she looked down and asked, "Do you want to sleep with Tami?"

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't. But I don't want to risk anything we have together. It's not worth it to me."

I continued, "Here's the thing; I know I said I would be more open and considerate, but this goes beyond what I was thinking when I said that. You're worried about me and Tami. How do you think I feel about you and Ray?

You know, I am very jealous of your desire for him. He's tall, young and good-looking. And he has a big dick you are fascinated with! Why wouldn't 'I' be afraid? What if you are blown away by him? Or find you just like having sex with other men? Where would that leave me?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Oh, no. I'm sooo sorry!" She was sobbing now. "We can't do this. Forget everything I said. I love you, only you. Please forgive me."

She regretted what she had revealed to me. She knew she had hurt me with her words.

I felt cuckolded. For the first time in my life, my wife wanted another man. And if I stood in the way of her having sex with him, she might resent me for never letting her satisfy her curiosity, satisfy that desire. If I consented, I may, probably would, resent her for it. We may both never feel the same about each other again. And, she might never put that desire "back in the box." It could, probably would be the end of us.

This was totally screwed up!

Or, maybe...we would both have fun. She gets "Long Dong" out of her system; I get a free ride on "Big Boobs" and all ends up peachy. You know, the classic Hollywood ending - reality!

Right?

I was genuinely sick to my stomach.

But what Tami had said stuck in my mind, "...if we don't address this now, later will be too late!"

That was very true, at least for Lana and me. Regardless of what happened, this situation would probably not happen again - a couple who desired us and we desired, who were safe, so to speak, strangers we would never see again. We had some friends, friends that were close and with whom there was sexual attraction, but were not a possibility - but that's another story. It was definitely now or never.

I looked at Lana. She looked more lost than me. She had fear in her eyes. She was afraid that telling me she wanted to sleep with Ray crossed one of those lines you couldn't uncross. I couldn't relieve her of that fear.

"I'm sorry; I need some time," I said and headed downstairs. She was sobbing when I left.

I stopped halfway down and discreetly checked to see if Ray and Tami were talking. I didn't want to interrupt or accidentally overhear something not meant for me. But they were sitting on the loveseat, quietly holding each other; waiting for us. When they saw me coming down the stairs alone, they were visibly upset.

"It's okay," I said unconvincingly, "We're taking a few minutes to digest. I need a drink."

Tami quickly assured me, "There's no hurry; take your time. This is a big step, and no matter what you decide, we are fine either way. You guys have been absolutely the greatest."

"Thank you...sincerely."

I made a tall drink, a triple, and went into the billiard room to be alone. I stood by the table, absently rolling the balls around and watching them clink into each other. No matter what I decided, I would probably be wrong - no "win-win" here. I lost track of time, but my drink had long been empty. Right or wrong, my decision was made. I was resolute.

I went into the living room and spoke to Ray and Tami, "I'll be right back. I have to talk to Lana again."

"Take your time." Ray replied.

I know they wanted to ask. Their eyes showed how anxious they were to know. They also showed me what they had decided. I walked upstairs to our bedroom. Lana had cried herself to sleep. I felt terrible. But what had happened, had happened. Neither of us could uncross any lines. I went back downstairs without disturbing her.

When I returned without Lana, Ray and Tami looked crestfallen.

VIII: SHIT, I THINK I PEED!

"Ray, Tami, please come with me." Again, their eyes questioned, but they were silent. I led them upstairs to our bedroom. I stepped inside. They stopped in the doorway.

They saw Lana asleep on the bed. It was obvious she had been crying. It was apparent we had fought and it had ended badly. Tami started to cry, "Oh Jack, I am so, so sorry." She took Ray's hand and pulled him from the door.

With a firm voice and much more resolve than I actually felt, I called to them, "Stop. You don't understand. Come back, please."

They stepped back in the door. Tami was still leaking tears. Ray looked like he would rather be anywhere else on the planet. Tami started to apologize again, "We'll leave as soon as..."

I stopped her, "That's not why I brought you here."

I addressed Ray, "Go over to Lana. Kiss her forehead then lightly kiss her ear and continue down her neck with delicate kisses. She should rouse and turn her face up to kiss you, probably without opening her eyes. When she offers her lips, kiss her, but not open-mouthed. She won't expect that at first."

They were both thoroughly confused. Ray, looked at me, rooted to the floor.

"Go ahead, it will be alright. I want you to." I urged him.

Tami looked at me questioningly. I nodded for her to watch. Ray finally walked to the bed and looked at me again.

"Kiss her. Really. It's what she wants." It took everything I had to say, "It's what I want." I urged him again and stepped away and joined Tami at the door.

He got on his knees beside the bed. He looked at Lana's delicate face, the tear tracks, her furrowed brow and hesitated again.

"Ray, please do what I asked. It will be fine. It's what has to happen," I urged gently, but firmly.

He nodded and leaned over and ever so gently kissed her forehead then her ear; then down her neck as I instructed. Lana responded just as I expected, tilting her face up. When Ray began kissing her lips, she kissed back; it took several seconds for her to realize something was amiss. She opened her eyes. It took a few moments for her to focus.

She put her hands on Ray's chest and pushed him up till she could see him clearly, "Ray?" she asked, confused and slightly shaken, "What are you doing in here? Why are you kissing me? Jack won't..." then she spotted Tami and me. "Jack! I didn't know it wasn't you. I'm sorry...I don't understand...he just started kissing me...I didn't...?"

I gave her a warm smile and said, "Honey, it's okay. There's nothing wrong."

Then, I simply stated, "Darling, your ride is here." I thought that was sort of clever, considering everything.