All Comments on 'What Tomas Needs'

Pacing is a little weird. You spent ages on the description of the attic and why Tomas is up there and then discovering the lamp is basically an afterthought. That has the potential to be a great cinematic moment and you just skipped it. I also feel like you ordered the wishes wrong: you should escalate from non-sexy to sexy, so nicer room, nicer body, nicer cock, magic buttplug. It’s kind of a leap to go from “I’d like a magic item that enhances my charisma” to “magic buttplug” so you need to make that less jarring. Maybe give signs that the genie has a dirty sense of humour, or knows that Tomas would secretly be into that. Just stuff to remember for your future writing.

Interesting and erotic story. Chapter two should really be hot.

Besides everythig that was said by @bienclar, I would also add that you spent a lot more time in the introduction of things, and then the final part, the transformation of his body, his prostate exploding, him grinding on the floor, could have been a very hot scene if you had written enough lines about it.

From my perspective, it looks like you were writing the story as you were imagining it, and probably jerking, and it made you rush things at the end.

I recommend trying to explain the main character's sensations ( his muscles changing, his dick growing, the buttplug going in) and his feelings about all of this (if he's horny, ashamed, amazed, overstimulated, etc).