All Comments on 'When I Take Your Wife'

Good story!! I can't wait for the next chapter.

You don’t know what I would do or dream about, so stop writing in the second person.

What I would do is let my future wife fuck whomever she wants but if he wants to have her, then he can keep her. Yeah, she’s hot but she’s a nagging bitch who wants everything to be perfect. All the time. You leave one skid mark in your gonch, and she’ll tear you a new one. Don’t get the chores done? Better get the Palm Sisters lotion Ed up because that all the action you’re getting.

So yeah, you want her? Please. Take her. But just remember, you can’t bring her back. She’s your problem now.

Ack, ack... sorry fur ball.

If you don't want to learn how to write then few people will enjoy your stories. The choice is yours.

I’ll agree in part with Whackadoo, second person stories are never a good read. Have you ever seen a second person movie? No, because it doesn’t play out right.

Write in the first or third person.

I hope this is constructive.

Has potential but poorly edited. Get an editor. Write and rewrite.

I'd love to here more. Not enough stories from this perspective