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Click hereConnie was right, I now had two whores sharing my bedroom, and I got to look after both of them. I would certainly need a lot of energy now onwards.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. My mind was still occupied with my personal whores. I knew that night was not over yet. My personal whores would soon be ready for another round of mind-blowing session.
Life is never easy for a man who has two whores in his bedroom.
END
- COMMENTS
ToughSailor7 months agoBasically a good story but the writing is in desperate need of editing (proof reading). Also, by your sentence structure and word choice (arse) I strongly suspect that the Kings English is not you primary language . . . .
Anonymousabout 4 years agoThis story has every element of a great, erotic story. But, you should have someone proofread your work. It would read so much better. And, the reader wouldn't have to pause so often. Other than that....the women in this story are smoking hot.
Anonymousabout 4 years agoTHE PREMISE OF THE STORY IS GOOD, AND WHILE THE CHARACTERS OF THE STORY HAVE AMERICAN NAMES, THE WRITER IS NOT AMERICAN. HE DOESN'T ACT, SPEAK, OR HAVE THE MINDSET OF AN REDBLOODED AMERICAN MAN. TOO BAD, BECAUSE THIS GUY WAS VERY CLUMSY, DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE HAD, WITH TWO BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, READY TO FUCK, EACH OTHER AND HIM. OH, WELL,
revved123over 5 years agoStory line itself and pace were good. I can usually let pass minor misused words etc, but felt the need to comment. Keep up the writing, but please find an editor or reread before submitting again. Just a little constructive criticism.
Anonymousover 7 years agoI loved it personally, had me hard from page 2 on. Wish I had a sister like that.
Anonymousover 9 years agoignore the other reviewer, whilst gramma is not the strongest here, and you probably should get someone to help you with that from here. The story was okay, so thanks for your contribution.
Anonymousabout 10 years agoI'm sure you won't be flattened by what I have to say although apparently you've seen lots of flat navals. You are the absolute goddamn fucking worst writer—and it's not just the spelling—I've ever tried to read. Terrible! Don't you have a mommy or a real sister or an educated fuck buddy who could glance over your crap and make it at least only half as bad as it is?
It's clear that English is not your native language but why take it out on us?
Elisa in Seattle.
peteinchicagoabout 14 years agobut not bad either. I'd give it a 2.5 if I could. Story with great potential but hubby's to much of a pussy. The gramatical errors and poor sentance structure also take away from the story. What a pussy whipped asshole hubby is, he catches his wife cheating and is ok with it? Goes out and masturbates in the car??? Shit if he had any balls he'd have grabbed his slut wife by the hair, dragged her off his slut of a sister and stuck it in. If he didn't want to do his sister he could have picked some chick out of a bar and done her. Only a whimp would let his wife get some strange while he jerks off in the car. the only reason he got any was because wife and sister let him in. Pussy whipped whimp. Could have been much better, great concept, poorly executed
SEVERUSMAXover 17 years agoThis is another old story that I have read before, but I did enjoy it (well, aside from the fact that he is kind of a pushover with his wife at first). True, it is a LONG story (7 Lit pages), but it is filled with all kinds of nasty, smutty fun. Cheating, incest, bisexuality, group marriage- can it get much better? Only if you had Male Dom, and that's about it. I truly enjoyed it and found it a turn-on. Yes, there are some mistakes in the story, but they are not enough to undo the basic sexiness of it. I give it a 5.
Anonymousalmost 18 years agoI have been searching for a story line like this. The man I am dating seems to have an unusually close relationship with his sister, and I have been trying to figure out how to handle it. I must admit, it would really turn me on to watch them fuck. I wonder why there aren't more stories like this.
