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I could feel his heart beat in my throat through his cocks bulbous, swollen head. His cock was twitching and throbbing, and there was something else I now sensed in my mouth. The camera rocks slightly, and TC has his hips against my ass. You can see him glide slowly back, and my body begins to shudder uncontrollably. He can then be seen thrusting slowly back in, beginning to fuck my ass with a steady rhythm. The rhythm increases after just a few slow thrusts, and it then appears that he is trying to set a record for cumming as quickly and urgently as he can!

You can tell he only wants to release inside of me; it looks that way on the video, he looks frustrated sexually, that energy trying to unleash inside of me through his stiff, fat cock that is stretching every fibrous muscle I have back there. The video sounds of hips slapping into each other are deafening--'slap' after 'slap' after 'slap'! Over and over... Pain... I can't breathe. And I'm gagging so loud it's a wonder you can hear the slapping of TC's hips into my ass!

I realize Jay has lied to me, and there is a point on the video just before TC slid the panties aside where you can see Jay nodding to him. Maybe he's saying he's about to cum, or maybe he wants TC hammering into my ass, which will force more of his cock down my throat as he bumps me forward into Jay's pelvis. Regardless, TC entering me was all Jay was waiting for to finally 'unload' his creamy load into my mouth.

The video does nothing to capture the pain, panic, and sea of sensations I was fighting off as the load of hot, sticky cum coated the back of my throat and spews from my mouth. Even watching it now, I'm close to hyperventilating. I can almost feel TC inside of me now as I'm watching this part of the video, and my mouth feels oddly warm and sticky, like I can taste Jay's spunk. The fucking of my ass TC is doing continues for a couple minutes easily, and the camera catches me gagging and violently choking on cum.

Cum can be seen dribbling from my gaping mouth in thick stringy globs, all while I'm trying to hack it out of my throat. It's difficult to not try and swallow; I don't want to swallow, but I have no choice; it's inevitable some of his seed would end up in my stomach. When you see a drip of that slimy white liquid dribble out of my nose, it's because I'd tried to breathe while gagging on the cock, cum in my throat, and cum spewing into my mouth in wave after wave.

I can feel Jay's cock pulsating as he holds my head firmly on it. You can see him grinding away, moaning his pleasure; my mouth can't get any more open and I swear my jaw pops in pain as I'm fighting to get him out of my mouth; he's pressed my nose to his pelvis; and I'm still fighting to free myself while my ass is being rocked repeatedly from behind.

You can see me struggling; Jay's face is glowing a reddish hew, and it's obvious that he is awash in his own pleasures. I am trying to fight off the two of them; nothing about this is pleasurable at all for me. There's intense pain hammering home that my ass is being split in two. Tears are running down my face...

TC buried in my ass had all been planned from the start; I was sure of that as I watch how this all played out the third time I watched it. Jay had lied to me to get more out of this for his own fucking pleasure; maybe he was turned on by the idea I would please him willingly before his friend throttled my ass. Regardless, Jay had gotten his wish and his release, and TC was still thumping my ass to getting his pleasures met by the pounding you could see being captured by the camera.

Watching the video, I can't help but think about Jay's release into my mouth. I can still remember how it tasted and how I swallowed plenty of it without realizing I was swallowing it. It was physically painful and a million miles away from anything resembling pleasure for me. No, his gooey cum made its way forcefully into my mouth and down my throat.

As I watched all this happening I had to wonder if I was the man I thought I was.

After Jay shoots his load the video shows my head bobbing rhythmically, but it's more like I am trying to throw up, trying to dislodge the cock buried at the back of my throat. My mouth was clearly open at the end of all this, not encasing his cock in my lips lovingly. Saliva and sticky, stringy white cum can be seen drooling over his pubic hair or onto the bed after it rolls down my chin.

Was I the man I thought I was?

Getting my mouth free was impossible with TC thrusting at me from behind, pounding my ass repeatedly, and without mercy. And Jay in front of me was tightly holding my head on his cock the whole time--there really was no possible escape. It only makes what you see on the video look worse, like maybe I kind wanted this to be happening. I look like some porn video slut who was truly enjoying every second of this abuse.

Not the man I thought...

I remember feeling every muscle below my waist constricting against the pain. They were crying out for relief, the pain so burning and intense that I swear I nearly passed out a second time as TC kept pounding his hips into my ass and forcing every inch of him deep inside. The pressure of TC's every thrust into my ass was unbearable, and at some point I began to gyrate against his advances to find some small area of comfort, some middle ground, against the attack being waged on my ass.

"She likes it..." TC can be heard saying this through his grunts and moaning. "You like it, don't you, bitch! Yeah! She's riding my cock, Jay!"

You can see him thrust himself so hard into my ass after that statement it pushes me forward hard, awkwardly, causing Jay to have to take a step back. My head also tilts to the side in Jay's grip, and his face can be seen lighting up in pain.

"Mother Fucker!" Jay screams at TC. His voice is full of agony as he pulls his cock unceremoniously from my mouth quickly, cupping it gently, and his ball sack with both hands - obviously in pain.

The video doesn't stop, and TC readjusts his body over mine now that he isn't pounding into Jay's resistance at the other end of my body. His hands dig into my hips even harder, and my head is hanging heavily over the bed, bobbing violently as he thrusts that cock into me repeatedly.

You can see Melissa's bra strap has rolled off of one of my shoulders, and the contents of one of the cups are missing. I can feel the underwire of her bra digging into my chest with each body-rocking thrust being made into my ass by TC. But I still can't move my arms, because they are partially trapped under my body at an odd angle. I try to pull my arm from under me, but realize my hands are bound together.

I remember sensing that my wrists were bound at this point in the video. And if you look closely just above my right knee you can see there's something wrapped around it. My hands have been pulled under me and affixed to these bindings at my right knee. They had put a lot of thought into how best to keep me immobilized and in this position. Fucking bastards!

I wasn't a woman, though these two assholes were trying to treat me like I was one. I had certainly had occasion to question my sexuality. Maybe to the point where I might accept that I was bisexual. Another man's cock wasn't necessarily a fantasy I had very regularly, but in truth I had sucked an older guy off one night after we'd both gotten stoned. He probably was grooming me from the beginning of our friendship, but I didn't realize it until long after we'd gone our own ways. It never progressed to full on sex, but I did give him a few blow jobs over the course of a summer when I was seventeen. Nothing! I mean nothing like what you see here.

The act itself, that first time with him, was powerful and left a question mark permanently embedded in my psyche. I wouldn't have wanted to revisit sex with another man like this of course, but there were a few grains of sands worth of interest in being a bottom while I was in my late teens. Maybe giving in to those desires back then would have released an opportunity for me to explore more of my feminine side with another man. I absolutely didn't want to be some guy's bitch like these two were treating me, though each time I have watched this video I could sense I had a desire for something that allowed me to experience something similar.

The video couldn't have captured those thoughts. They only became points of interesting after repetitive viewing of this video. Maybe questioning my manhood was something I should have done earlier? Was it the sound of the raw animalistic sex that softened my resolve? Was it that once experienced, there was a 'Stockholm Syndrome' in play? Was there something deeper that appealed to me, and I just hadn't figured it out until I experienced it? Was it that I had tried on a pair of Melissa's worn panties once and jacked myself off with a satisfaction I hadn't realized?

I looked towards my crotch; I was hard, no denying it. The slacks I'd put on for work showed I had a wet spot of pre-cum soaked into them. This wasn't the first time I'd found myself to be aroused by watching the video. I guess I...

TC grinding his hips into my ass took over the screen now and grabbed my focus from watching this all play out. I remember what's coming all too well. Fuck!

"Here," Jay says to the person holding the camera, and the picture swerves and goes all over the place. When it steadies, the camera is in my face but zoomed out enough to also include TC behind me in the picture. He hasn't slowed his pounding of me from behind.

"You like this, don't you?" Jay can be heard asking me. "Say you like it..."

My eyes are still closed, head, and every part of me is rocking in unison to TC's thrusts into my ass. It doesn't look I could have answered Jay at the moment - even if I wanted. It looks like I'm trying to figure out something. You can see I can sense there are strands of Jay's pubic hair in my mouth, and the camera in my face captures me working my tongue around my mouth so I can spit them out with any remaining globs of his cum.

I know from the look on my face and the memories I have of this exact moment that I've tapped out. I remember processing that I can taste Jay's cum in my mouth, but am confused as to why I can smell it. I know I'm pretty close to puking because I realize I've swallowed some of his seed. I'm coughing and a dry-heave is captured with the camera in my face...

The pain on my face that TC is causing is now almost gone, and it looks like I'm not feeling much--like just a dull pressure around my hips and at the entry to my ass. Watching this, I know my body is numb; my spirit looks broken, gone, absent...

"Say it, bitch!" Jay shouts at me from behind the camera, reaching out to pull my head up for a better shot. "Say you like it, and I'll make him stop."

I jumped the first time I watched him yelling that at me...

I would have said or done anything in that moment to make TC stop and be back at the wedding making out with some ugly fat chick - tabling any thoughts of wanting or having a interest in my feminine side. When you see my mouth moving and the faces I'm making, you have to understand I did not mean it.

This isn't how I wanted experience sex with another man. I tried to say it and mumbled something garbled, but I knew I had tried to say those words back to Jay, to the camera I know was filming me. This is where you can see I've given up.

"I can't hear you, slut!" Jay can be heard shouting at me.

The camera moves in closer, and my face is unsteady in the picture with TC's pounding I'm taking from behind. And then you hear it clearly through huffed, strained, and pain filled breaths.

"I like it,"

I whisper just loud enough to be heard on video. My voice trails off after saying that, and my eyes squint tightly together. A droplet of cloudy white liquid oozes from my mouth and drips off my chin. More of Jay's cum...

"She likes it, TC! She said she likes it!"

The camera rises up to get a shot of TC in his own world now, oblivious to anything but ramming his horse-sized cock into my ass. The camera zooms in on his face and then walks around to get a close-up of him working his cock in and out of my ass.

"Nice pussy..." Jay can be heard saying that. Then he asks, "Tight?"

There is only grunting in reply.

The camera returns to my face and shoots back towards TC. He has grabbed my hips like he'll fall off the bed if he's not affixed to me so tightly. His thrusts look more urgent, heavier, harder, and quicker. Melissa's underwire bra is eating into my chest, and I'm certain I'm bleeding. Why would I notice this given all that is happening to me? No fucking idea...

You can see TC's gyrations slowing ever so slightly and then increasing in a targeted, focused manner. His mouth is open, and there's a shout, "Oh, Fuck! Sheeeit!"

When his head snaps backward, he howls, "Oh God! Fuuugck YEAH!"

He appears to be pressing my hips down, and the bed bounces with his every movement and his every thrust. And with a final moan and thrust, TC slams himself one last time into my ass.

"Fucking take it bitch! Take it all!" he exclaims towards the camera with a smile.

I can feel his cock pulsating in my ass like Jay's had in my mouth, feel the blood expanding the shaft making it thicker, harder, and then feel it shivering slightly deep in my ass. Pointed throbs giving way to feather light twitches as his last spurts of cum are dribbling out. The camera moves around to get a shot of his face, and his aftershocks, his shuddering body. He looks almost sedated for a moment as he swims in the pleasure of his cock draining into the condom he's wearing over, a cock fully inserted in my ass.

You can see TC slowly release my hips and look towards the camera.

"Oh FUCK man! That was so good, Jay. Seriously, you need to mount this bitch right now, buddy! I loosened her up for you..."

"Yeah, yeah. I don't do sloppy seconds, asshole," Jay says. He is now pointing the camera at my ass from behind, and you can see TC look down to see what the camera is filming.

My hips are bright red on the screen, and the camera zooms in to show TC's cock still about half-way inside of me. There is cum all over his shaft and around the rim of my ass.

"Nice job, dude!" Jay barks and can be heard laughing uncontrollably.

"Oh fuck! Are you fucking... No! Fucking shit!" TC yells as he pulls himself mercilessly from my ass.

The camera zooms out, and you can see the condom has broken and there is only a small portion of it remaining around the base of his cock. The rest of it is pathetically lodged inside me somewhere.

The camera zooms in on my ass, now agape, and some of TC's cum is slowly dribbling towards my cleanly shaved ball sack.

"Would you look at that fucking pussy? This bitch has done this more than a few times." Jay can be heard saying this from behind the camera.

The camera spins around to TC; he's not happy.

"Fucking, get that out of my face!"

You can see him angrily swipe at the camera, which sways lazily around the room and then refocuses on me lying on the bed.

"Are you going to dig it out of her?" Jay asks, laughing some more.

"Fuck you, man! She can get it out the next time she takes a shit. Fuck, I'm going to have to get tested now... Fucking bitch!"

A knocking noise can be heard on the video, and the filming abruptly stops. That is where this nightmare ends -- or -- maybe is just beginning -- or -- I've come to a realization I've suppressed my entire life...

I remember waking up in the back seat of my car, only wearing my boxers. Everything hurt, and I remember how intense the pain was in my groin area and how my throat was raw and sore. I had no idea how long I had been in my car, and when I could finally sit up and look around to see where I was parked, the RV parking area was empty. The RV with Arizona plates was gone.

It was two in the morning, and I had to summon all my strength just to drive myself home--thirty miles in total. Once home, I tried to piss but couldn't, and the idea of shitting was out of the question due to the pain I felt down there. I remember popping six ibuprofens and hobbling back to check my car. My laptop, some shitty CDs, and all of Melissa's clothes were missing. Fuck!

I limped back into my townhouse and stayed there for three whole days, calling in sick both Monday and Tuesday. I hadn't bled out my ass, but my first shit expelled the broken condom TC had left in there. He'd complained he needed to be tested; I went to the nearest Planned Parenthood clinic after work Wednesday to get tested. The results came back negative for any STDs. Guess I should be thankful for, but I was determined to get tested again in the coming months just to be sure.

So, how is it that I had video evidence from that night? That answer is easy: four weeks after that night of hell and maybe discovery, someone left an envelope on my doorstep. Inside was a flash drive with all the raw footage from that night, Melissa's panties, and a note. The note said:

Jamie

We had such a good time with you and are going to be back in your area in a few weeks. We want to hook up with you for some more fun. You need to work on your look a little, and we are expecting you to be more refined this time.

To help with that, we're going to send you one of our regular header boys, the one who helped video you that night, to help you out with looking the part. He'll be contacting you soon, he's got your address and cellphone number.

Involving the cops would not be a good idea. You clearly can be seen agreeing to playing with us and you even said you enjoyed it. If think you're not going to meet up with us, well, I'm afraid a copy of this video will make it around--first to your work (Center Graphical, Inc.), then your neighbors, and then the internet. We're trying to find out where Melissa lives now; I'm sure she'd be interested in seeing what a willing little femboi you truly are.

Don't fuck up, baby. Be ready. We'll be calling on you when we get to town.

J/TC

I guess the decision has been made for me as to exploring those feminine interests I mentioned. The more I have watched the video, the more the idea of being Jamie rather than James had some appeal. Can I do this? I wish there was someone who could give me the answer to that question. Looks like we'll find out...

--0 FIN 0--

Authors Note:

I originally wrote this story in 2002 after a news story aired about rest areas in Washington State being hook-up sites for truckers or anyone looking to get their rocks off. I won't lie -- I dribble pre-cum pretty heavily every time I read this story back and during the rewrite.

The last time I read the original it seemed to be clunky, so I've updated it and expanded it a little. In the original James didn't confess any gender confusion or questioning of his gender -- that scream 'rape' and there were some concerned comments made. Look -- this is FICTION ppl! I'm bending truth to my whims and my own imagination. Analyze it how you like, but remember -- it's just FICTION!

This story is VERY different from the others I've written and posted on this site. Original is posted on another site, not on this site -- so this is new a story here.

Thanks for reading... Curious to hear your thoughts. Hugz!

Rachel M. Moore