All Comments on 'Your Ideal Lover'

Dan Savage said most porn is Kabuki sex, hugely exaggerated, and far from reality. The positions are determined by the camera, and impossible to hold for more than a few minutes.

The other thing missing is emotion. The focus is on repetitive action that goes on and on until boredom sets in, and than the position changes.

The written story leaves a lot to our imagination. I don't like the "Let me tell you what she looks like" lead in, because it is usually blatantly fake. I rather imagine the body types for my self, and like you prefer realism. The latter is hard because fiction usually needs exaggeration or something unbelievable to drive the plot. But then even when coming of age rreading the purloined Penthouse, it was the letters that I read, and expanded on in my imagination more that the pictures.

Wickie doesn't mention any films by Petter Hegre, just still photography..

Chilley

Right on. Another thing that irks me about some lit: Measurements. If I see measurements in one of the first paragraphs, I immediately stop reading and find something else - if this is the author's idea of character development it's not worth my time to read on.

Only rarely are measurements needed at all in a story, so please leave it to my imagination just how big they are.

Most professional porn turns women off for these same reasons, and for the guy sitting next to us turning with the 'baby, you should look like/do that' look on his face. Realistic sex would result in more real sex.

(about measurements).

To the author:

You've seriously never read anything on LitE where the man pulls out and cums on the woman's face? It seems like a STAPLE around here, and usually happens after the woman asks if not not BEGS the man to do so!

I read these scenes and wonder just what universe these people live in!

I began writing erotica in my teens because I couldn't find a lot that excited me in the very small world of porn that I had access to. I took a break from writing while I was busy living and experiencing a wider range of sex.

Once again, I have re established my writing as an extension of my own sex life. There are stories out there that get me off. There are also films and pictures, but to be honest, the vast majority just doesn't speak to me and I believe it's for many of the reasons you've listed here.

Well done for speaking your mind and being real about what your body wants! To me, the need for real breasts, coming inside a woman etc means you have a much better command and enjoyment of your fantasy life and it is well integrated into what you do in reality. ;)

Sophie xx

I have been told that women have less appreciation for porn than men because men are visual creatures - and that may be true - however, my lack of appreciation for porn is a direct result of the fake-ness of it. The porn I have tried to watch is so contrived and repetitive that I quickly lose interest. I've always thought that a salacious romance novel come to life with plot and visual of "the action" would make a great porn film. I want a plot and the sex. While I can enjoy a good looking, perfectly in shape body as well as the next person, I prefer to envision a real person with all of the foibles and imperfections of a real man and woman.

I agree with your points, especially the last part about fantasizing about women at the grocery store and so forth.

I'm also a fan of Hegre & Winters. My favorite model is Yanna.

Thanks for the write up.

I fully agree with you. Erotic stories stimulate our mind and I find it better to read an erotic story than watch a porn clip.

Very well written article.

I really appreciated the way you went through the points of bad porn. Each point was so true. Bad porn is all about bigger, harder, blonder, dumber, mind numbing clichés. Why not just a scene of two people engaging in deeply passionate and responsive sex? I find there are so many more erotic possibilities in a woman's naked body then in any double penetration facial ejaculation. Thanks for this.