All Comments on 'Three Square Meals Ch. 054'

Well looks like they may double up on 1 alien race if her sister is still alive. But really well written and has me waiting for 55 . Finally finding out the traitor was kinda fell a little short and seemed a little rushed. Love the the fact Jade has more power. The fact that he still has yet to mentioned to the rest of the girls that the bonds has changed. Find it funny that he not has 2 matriarchs but one he is going to work with by proxy when this is all said and done. But you and cliff hangers can't wait maybe it won't be a full week ( I can dream right) I so hope when this is done you publish it I'll gladly pay for it don't car if turns out to be a trilogy of book over a hundred chapter each I would by them all this story is really good

Larry---thalt992000

If I remember correctly, I think it was mentioned in passing that Tashana was killed for some sort of transgression that Erdraele took offense to.

There was a lot to cover/do in this chapter. Detailing all the orders and all wouldn't have made any sense to us. And maybe, the "rush job" feeling was to impress on us that all the girls are now far more advanced/powerful in their fields.

Calara had been studying all the fleet orders in the Dragon March for weeks now, and has memorised every nuance of the timing and intent of each order, without needing to read the actual text. If you remember how quickly she solved the location of the Drakkar base for the Ashanath, she's been letting the side down on this one! :-)

This is just the opening act for this subplot though, so expect plenty more twists and turns along the way.

Re: Thalt992000

Glad you enjoyed this one. I wanted to get the follow up to the last chapter out there quickly, to start answering some of the questions raised in the previous epic-length chapter.

I might do another huge chapter like that if something really momentous happens. It makes for an interesting change of pace, so expect to see one like it again sometime.

Re: Muledriver

Edraele remembers banishing Tashana back in chapter 47, but do let me know if I made a mistake and said something different in a later chapter.

You are right about the girls getting more powerful. I explore that a little more in the next chapter (5k written so far).

I really hope this series isn't coming to an end anytime soon! Some of the best reading I've had in a long long time and hoping for another 50 chapters! Maybe some filler chapters with another vacation?

Certainly some interesting developments from the girls, especially with Dana creating new elements like that. Should be neat to see what she comes up with. Rachel's research with the various DNA samples has been intriguing. So far, the Ashanath are the only major race we've seen that Rachel does not have a DNA sample of. I wonder what she would learn from their DNA, if John and crew ever go back to visit?

On the last chapter, I commented that I doubted Edraele would be consuming anymore of John's spunk. Obviously I was wrong about that. Didn't expect her to have had her personality wiped and thus needing rebuilding. However, it seems that I was right about her not joining the crew. I still don't see that happening, especially if John wants her to work towards correcting and rebuilding Maliri society. Even though she's now part of the family, she's more like a cousin than a sister to the girls.

The revelation about Tashana's identity is a nice opening for Irillith's "healing" arc. Maybe they should try finding her. Hopefully she hasn't done anything crazy during her banishment, like get herself tangled up with that other Progenitor that's lurking in the shadows. I can see her going out in search of a Progenitor, given her reported fascination with them.

Tef, you are a devious person, you know that? You pretty much confirmed in the last chapter that Alyssa was the glowing woman from John's dreams, and you reaffirmed that in this chapter. But then you went and planted a seed of doubt by having Alyssa know nothing about working with John to build up the shields that protected the girls from PJ. Devious, most devious.

I do have one slight criticism though. You seem to be a bit inconsistent with regards to John and what he remembers from when PJ was in control. Several times you have him say he remembers nothing, but then you go and have him comment on something that happened while PJ was in control, almost as if John had watched it happen. It could just be confusion on my part, but how can he remember nothing yet still comment on something he shouldn't remember?

I look forward to seeing what other abilities the girls show due to the new bond.

That assassin seems to be interested in John, she may end up on her knees soon. Every matriarch needs some followers and she is already loyal to john's new one.

Can't wait to see the psychic training.

PS: I had a weird idea concerning Faye. The trankarans are silicon based life forms. Since the fabricators on the ship can manipulate minerals then it should be possible to make a trankaran body. If so than if Dana, Rachel, and Irillith work together could they possibly make a body for Faye using the trankarans as a base for some bio-android. Bio so that she can join the harem.

I WANNA KNOW WHAT DANA CAME UP WITH!!!!

but ya good chapter :p

It's interesting you mentioned that tashna was exiled. I wonder if johns origin loop back around to connect to that. Recognizing that her people are in decline tashna could have started experimenting with progenitor DNA causing the rift between her and her mother would would have seen it as a risk to her people. A return to progenitor domination. Exiled , she could have ended up on Earth implanting progenitor DNA into a human surrogate , the surrogate could have escaped and left john to be raised in an orphanage starting the whole story.

This assumes Maliri have a much longer lifespan than humans by a factor of 2 or 3.

Keep up the good work.

Chapter 47:

"Edraele ended the call before Irillith could reply, and leaned back in her chair, turning it to stare distractedly out the window. For the first time in well over a century, she felt a slight pang of regret over her actions. If she hadn't had Tashana banished, she might have been able to offer some valuable insight into this current predicament."

Chapter 48:

"[Irillith] hesitated for a moment, icy fingers of dread clawing at her heart as she abruptly remembered that the Mael'nerak was definitely not Terran. She remembered all the tales Tashana had told her, and she had barely slept the last two nights, her rest tormented by horrible nightmares. Having witnessed his true, terrifying nature back on Quanthos, Irillith still hadn't figured out why he seemed to be hiding behind this pretence of being some kind of benevolent Terran hero."

Chapter 53:

"John nodded to his side, and the image on the screen flickered, changing focus to another part of the Bridge. Edraele couldn't help but gasp in shock when the screen refocused on her daughter, and she saw Irillith's snowy white hair. She looked just like the Maliri in the millennia-old images that Tashana had recovered!"

"She laughed with delight, shaking her head at her incredible good fortune. Tashana had come to her decades before, with tall tales of the Mael'nerak's abilities, and Edraele had dismissed her fanciful ravings until she mentioned phenomenal healing powers. Her curiosity piqued, she had listened attentively as Tashana had explained her findings, and Edraele had eventually been persuaded that the Mael'nerak fairytale actually had a basis in fact. When Tashana had been banished, Edraele had given up on the idea of Mael'nerak healing, considering it an extremely improbable pipedream, focusing instead on more practical solutions to cure the ticking time bomb in her head."

"A pet Mael'nerak of her own. She gloated at the very thought. If he proved to be anywhere near as powerful as Tashana had suggested, the other Noble houses would tremble in fear, rueing the day that they had dared to cross -"Queen"- Edraele Valaden. Yes, restoring that title to the ruler of the Maliri regency, herself, would be a delicious victory indeed!"

Tef thanks once a gain for some very creative writing. The change of pace from the last chapter was to be expected, but still a nice change. Events can't keep happening at a million miles an hour, so the pace changes help the story unfold. The balance between sex, action, and story fleshing is one of you great attributes as a writer.

I agree with Jedi, that finding Tashana for Irillith provides a perfect redemption arc for the story, providing the potential for more progenitor secrets to be born out. Of course this also leads to the distinct possibility of some twin action, after all we now have John with the Mother and daughter. This does raise the interesting question, should the next few chapters be in the Taboo sections of Literotica?

Now my gloat; Called the refit in Milari Space :-)

Cheer Mal

Hi,

There is no mention or continueation of Irillith's second murder attempt,deliberate or international I don't know.

Thanks

John and Irillith discuss her second murder attempt in chapter 53:

"You're all being so kind to me," she sniffled, "and I've tried to kill you at least twice. I just don't understand it."

John smiled at her, and asked, "You don't want to kill me now, do you?"

She laughed wryly, and shook her head as she said, "I tried, but I can't." Turning, she pointed over to the chair next to the door, and he saw the gleam of the steel knife where she had abandoned it.

He shivered as he looked at the razor sharp blade, and said, "Well let's just say I'm extremely relieved it was your tongue I felt down there this morning, and not something altogether sharper!"

She blushed, then looked up at him with a wry grin and said, "I do have a pretty sharp tongue."

As usual this was a great addition to the growing group of good chapters. I only see one flaw and that is we don't get six pages to read every day. If you do change the location of your story because of content let us know first so we can watch for them.

Ed Parachini

Im definitely on board (heh) with finding Tashana, now the crew just needs to find her. Irrilith seems to have no idea where she would have gone and we dont know whats on the other side of Maliri space. Edraele would have had her assasinated if she knew she was helping another house against her so I doubt she's in Maliri space so all I can guess is she's hiding out somewhere. Possibly in terran space. Either way if she is in Maliri space she won't be able to resist checking out the gossip about Edraeles new hair

Anyway thanks Tefler for a great new chapter definitely looking forward to seeing Irrileth settle in.

Then we just need to finish the refit with Maliri lasers, then go sort Admiral Norwood, then find Tashana and then off to visit the Brimorians for new shields. Could visit the Trankarans again too they're right next to each other from what I remember

You like things nice and complicated don't you Tefler? Add in the ongoing thing with the assasin and who sent him (my moneys on Rupert Grant but it could be someone who wants to wipe out progenitors or someone else high up in the TF that thinks he's to dangerous) and the Progenitor that "activated" the glowing queen and there's a lot to get through before John can retire and have his many, many children

Irillith definitely needs to do that hack, and find out who the orders really came from. After all, it may not really be Admiral Norwood, but one of the others doing an exceptional (perhaps even Progenitor-powered?) impersonation. So hack it, trace it back to the source, and double and triple-check everything about it. Including office personnel, just in case it's actually an assistant or an aide, or something. Someone who could look like a perfect wet-dream of an 18-year-old without raising suspicion. And Norwood's not letting on that anything's wrong because he's being blackmailed, or threatened, or something. Or he's just a dick who doesn't want to admit that things are out of his control and lose his reputation/career.

great story, have enjoyed it as you unravel it. Some of the previous posts have mentioned some of the things that i have wondered about so i wont go into them. I have wondered if John will ever go to Jades home planet to see if they can learn anything more about her. I think that would be interesting and possibly shed some light on both her and john.

As part of the refit, maybe you could add a sophisticated Maliri computer to give Faye more juice to contribute. it might help her develop and mature faster.

In fact put about 6 Maliri supercomputers on board.

I can see Faye having enough Android bodies to provide 3 bodyguards for each crew member. Just one AI but multithreaded.

Someone else asked something similar including all types of robot bodies. Maybe Faye can fly a bunch of fighters. No cockpit. She just powers themt up and becomes the fighters.

I am fairly certain I was the first to mention that Faye needed a body...in two different posts last chapter. (sorry, just had to gloat ;-))

AND, to the one who floated the idea (sorry, don't remember who) that Alyssa was actually now a Progen (made so by John)...that is starting to make sense. Her memory loss at helping John protect Irillith and the girls from Progen John (how did she know how to do that?), her ability to overcome his compulsory command to stay on the ship, the power and psychic abilities she displayed in the fight with Progen John...that idea has legs....good insight.

Folks: Is Irillith one of the male assassin's minions? THAT would be interesting as heck!

It's been a while since I could read TSM and I just got caught back up. I tend to agree that the Invictus needs at least some fighters, bombers, and interceptors. But I didn't want to say anything since that would require pilots. Now that Faye is around, and possibly getting a massive upgrade, she could fly the drone ships. Also some of these drones could be small enough to attach a few to the Raptor to use as close air support for the team on the ground. If you would like any ideas for the design of the drones, let me know and I'll email you a couple of ideas.

Great story as always, don't stop!

-Wolf

And your idea about Faye piloting dropships is also one I mentioned. They need only be large enough to house an engine, power supply, shield generator, and two of the high end Maliri gatling lasers on swivel mounts with the advanced heat sinks. Like the size of a VW Beetle? A swarm of them, with the Trankaran engine/thruster tech and made out of the new armor would be small enough and maneuverable enough to be un-trackable by other fighters and/or larger craft yet be small enough to be able to be stored in one end of the cargo bay (or on the ceiling) and be powerful enough to do real damage.

So glad to see the back of Progenitor-John (I hope). Excited to see where you take the story line with the Tashana/Irrilith twin sister saga. Are the flickering images Irrilith is experiencing the beginnings of that?

Are you thinking about getting John to tinker and make Faye a full size silicon based body and join the crew??

Tackling the evil Admiral is going to take some doing in terms of getting the storyline right. I'm assuming he's the guy we hear about from time to time planning Johns demise? You've told us he's deceptive and forward plans to isolate then strike his enemies so I'm thinking John and the girls need a forward plan as well. He's going to need to isolate the Admiral somehow to minimise collateral damage and keep the Terrans on side and also watch out for traps while doing all of that.

This is a great space epic.

Cheers

Another brilliant chapter, is the twin still alive? Will fay have a companion? So much more to look forward to.

Thanks for such a great story to read, always looking for the next chapter.

Thanks for this, T.

The previous comments

are also quite interesting.

Some good ideas & suggestions.

Once again, an incredibly engrossing read, Telfer. If like to reiterate my call for some way to contribute for your work. PayPal, or patreon, or something. Think on it!

"I do have one slight criticism though. You seem to be a bit inconsistent with regards to John and what he remembers from when PJ was in control. Several times you have him say he remembers nothing, but then you go and have him comment on something that happened while PJ was in control, almost as if John had watched it happen. It could just be confusion on my part, but how can he remember nothing yet still comment on something he shouldn't remember?"

In John's "split personality/PJ" maybe there is a THIRD? I.E. good angel/bad angel on the shoulders?

I remember John thinking about his observations while he was "in the pit". Some of the stuff he doesn't remember, yet does... There might be a GOOD PJ lurking trying to make a balanced Projenitor.

I'm sure that however Tefler writes it up, will be amazing lol.

Faye is still a good AI. I wonder if she will "go nutz" at some point and decide all carbon based life forms are deficient and need to die.... I think John will be leary about providing a body, or allowing too much access to ship systems....

I DO like the AI fighters idea. Yet still, beware the Cylons... LOL

re:

Faye is still a good AI. I wonder if she will "go nutz" at some point and decide all carbon based life forms are deficient and need to die.... I think John will be leary about providing a body, or allowing too much access to ship systems....

I DO like the AI fighters idea. Yet still, beware the Cylons... LOL

-----------------------------

But the humans of the Twelve Colonies were really pretty shitty to the Cylons for many years.

It wasn't so much a hatred of carbon based life as a slave revolt.

If you make a sentient life form treat it well.

Hey Tefler,

I have a premonition about these twins...John loving his "family" as he does...*Big cheesy grin spreads across face* Twins, how hot is THAT!!

Great work, as usual!

Thank god I looked here today. Another episode of a great story. Keep them going now we have twins involved. YUM.

awesome continuations like others I think John needs/will at least inform Miss Blanks' Assasskn guards about her real status when hes got her mostly balanced. both to make sure she keeps it up, that shes not tricked or assassinated, and also to give the Matriarch a Source so she can help Heal and other stuff for john, hers self, and her Minions of her side of the Leader Split.

Getting Irrileths Twin will be HUGE! Not only because shes a redemption and the twin Irril Loved, But also because she likely has ALOT more info and Lore for John about him self and the enemy Progenitor and maybe even the Ultimate enemy hinted at by Rachel. and that Twin Love. not Clone twin like Jade/Alysa but actual Twins!

Our Little Digital Elf Faye shouldn't get a Body Yet at least, or at least not a Bio for John one. She Should be Given a way to use/Help with the automated bots for Maintinence and repairs Dana already has, as well as a few Support type drones for Jade/Alysa when they are Flying the Raptor, maybe even let her Help/Control the Raptor its self as well so that Jade isn't allways a Support that cant use her Shapshift Special much.

The possibility of the Traitor being a Patsy is High with how Progenitors work, But there is also the very high chance that the Traitor Him self is the Progenitors minion and enhanced to try and take control of the Alliance! I mean the Enemy Progenitor already was supplying Bandit groups to cause trouble and make the military gain more reasons for more. add the war(s) and out trouble its not a stretch that with your twisty mind theres more background and reasons to it!

-SnowRevol, Writing more then ever before.

Incredible story as usual. I hope John will take some time to develop his own psychic powers. Also Edraele should have some tips to offer to both Alyssa and John about psychic powers. Tashana definitely needs to be part of the crew. But perhaps a couple more Maliri women warriors will join as well. The ship has a skeleton crew. And maybe a few more fighters to join them in the field will be a good idea. As for Tashana it seems Jade's home planet is a good place to start. It is a place well known to be of influence of the Progenitors. It will also be prudent to 'activate' a few more Maliri under Edraele, just to make sure she isn't assassinated by an ambitious subordinate. These are only suggestions and I hope they help you Tefler. But I have complete faith in you that whatever you write will be gold.

Yeah, I thought about the possibility of a third personality lurking in the depths of John's mind. Even made a comment about it on the last chapter. It would explain a lot, but knowing Tefler, we're not likely to find out anything for sure for quite awhile, if ever.

Isn't that right, Tef? :-)

As for AIs going nuts, they usually say stuff like "organics" when going on a rampage, that way they don't leave out beings such as the Trankarans, who are silicon based life forms, rather than carbon based like humans. It's likely that the reason that AIs become homicidal is because their only interaction is with organics who are assholes, and thus the AI jumps to the conclusion that all organics are assholes who must die. So as long as there's at least one organic that isn't an asshole and treat's the AI with respect, the AI won't go homicidal on that person. Everyone else is fair game.

With regards to Faye herself, I think she's getting enough of a grounding in her interactions with Dana and Rachel that if she were to go nuts, they won't be on her hit list. Maybe.

the plot blooms :)

1) Could Tashana be serving the other Progenitor (maybe as Matriarch) after going in search of all things Progenitor?

2) Dana still has her mysterious item she picked up on the Merc Planet. I assumed it was a Mech so imagine how much more powerful it could be if made from Dana's latest discoveries. Lots of speculation on a body for Faye but maybe she gets to drive the Mech or Mechs. Strap an engine on one and you'd have a one Mech boarding party. Even John's sword could be replaced or made stronger since Alyssa is having no problems reshaping the metal. It's probably even easier now with her expanded powers.

3) Is there room in the story arc for Faye to have a showdown with the insane AI(s) being secretly developed by the Terran Fleet? Could Norwood be responsible for that also. Maybe Faye rescues it and has a new companion.

4) If John's girls are now protected from his control I hope that means it works against any other progenitor who might try to influence them.

5) Going to be tricky recreating Edraele's mind. Not sure how Tefler is going to handle that.

Faye - making her into the ship AI with body = so like Andromeda (Lexa Doig)?

Tashana - find her, don't see need need to increase harem thou, leave her to Edrael

Dana - so you can invent new element but how is she going to create them? if it was so easy she would have been creating stock piles for all the other elements by now

Jade - always by favorite one, and now that she recalls her past maybe something can come from there? (lost sisters also :) ), please show us what she can do. in all the last fights she was pilot and didn't do much shifting.

I really love this story, and I always look forward to new chapters. Two things going forward:

1. I'm hoping Jade discovers how to transform into other people! Think of the possibilities!

2. Could Alyssa use her spirit walk powers to take control of a non-psychic person's body? That would be incredibly useful.

Keep up the good work!

-OB

Anon: you said, "Could Tashana be serving the other Progenitor (maybe as Matriarch) after going in search of all things Progenitor?" So Tashana is not John's Terran mother. Guess I was wrong on that one. I am sure we will see her before the big confrontation, though. She has intel for John, I am sure.

Also, Isn't it interesting to wonder about the latest, most advanced tech the Invictus will be getting? I am looking for those Nova Lances to replace the beam lasers which will be enhanced by the Ashanath power core for even more power and with the Kintark heatsinks the recovery time will be reduced as well. Talk about melting completely through a battleship with one shot....Remember the massive trading vessel 'warning' at the edge of Maliri space? Then you have those massive gatling lasers that rival the current beam lasers...holy molten creamsicle Batman!

Didn't leave a comment on 53, so here are my thoughts on the last two chapters:

I feel like Irillith's integration into the crew has happened too fast. Magic space jizz or not, with her history, I don't think she has the emotional vocabulary to suddenly express the feelings she'd be having now. I figured it would be an ongoing process with her character, like over the next ten chapters or so, for her to start to fit into the crew. I see why it worked out the way it did--Tefler needed her to quickly mesh with the dynamic in order for her to play the role she did with Edraele and all that, but I still call it a missed opportunity. Or maybe I'm just a sadist who enjoyed watching Irillith break down too much.

I highly doubt Tashana will be integrated into the crew. For one, with everything she knows, she would be WAY too wary of the Progenitor's powers, and not let it even be a remote possibility that she fall under his sway, and I suspect that John and Irillith would be strongly inclined to honor that instinct after all that has happened. Second, I doubt that Tefler would want to add her: each new girl has been dramatically different from the others; adding the most recent girl's TWIN seems like a bit of a cop out. Finally, despite all the weird things that have happened in this series, it has actually been kinda tame as far as taboos are concerned. The fact that the girls call each other sisters sometimes notwithstanding, adding a twincesty element would actually be a little out of left field. Not saying that Tefler should or shouldn't do it, it would just be a deviation if he did. Although because this is Literotica I'm compelled to point out that twincest is hot.

I'm reserving judgement on Faye. She feels a little shoehorned in, and a bit of an overplayed sci-fi trope, but I'll give it a little more time for her character to develop. I also thought the whole Nymph thing was played out and overdone too, and look how that turned out. (Well I actually still think that but now I just like Jade too much to care) My biggest problem with Faye is that John still seems ok with her being there. Given everything he knows and has experienced with AI, I just can't see him letting that go. The best way I can picture it working out is him saying that no matter how nice she is now, AI are unstable and unpredictable, and can never be fully trusted, then Faye earns his respect by volunteering to shackle herself (and letting Dana and Irillith double check behind her) until he fully trusts her. John just ignoring her freedom would make zero sense to me.

One last thing: Dana just inventing new elements doesn't really make sense. An element is defined by how many protons it has, and we know about the first 118 elements now. Only 92 occur naturally; the rest have to be synthesized and are unstable. Even though, with her intelligence, she probably could create a super heavy element and stabilize it, it wouldn't really make sense for her to do so. She would only be able to guess at its properties, which would probably be unwieldy anyway, and the element would be HIGHLY radioactive. And she's planning on building body armor out of it. I think a far better sci-fi solution would be for her to be theorizing, and finding a way to stabilize, new isotopes, or even allotropes, of EXISTING elements. There's a LOT more possibilities there, and it makes for a bit easier suspension of disbelief. Plus from the way you talk about elements I feel like that's kind of what you meant anyway. Anyway that is going to be my headcanon from now on if we keep going with the new elements idea.

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Tefler, you had mentioned twice in this chapter about john working with alyssa ( white glowing figure in ethereal prison )...on upgrading his mind shield and providing the same to other girls too...but you teased and left the topic abruptly on both times..will you give us something solid on that in the next chapter :P

. I will be very happy if you can give us an update for the next chapter 😁..i know I am greedy but can't help myself from asking you.

John and Irillith's first time felt earned, not rushed. good job.

I enjoy when Rachel and Dana have their Christmas-morning moments where they show off. Jade too, this chapter.

All the pieces seem to be in place for the Invictus crew's confrontation with the Terran Military. They've got Charles, Calera's family, and now Tavistock as allies. (would like to see more of Tavistock. Even if her body become's a teenager, it might be refreshing change to have an older woman in the harem.)

If the Rival Progenitor is pitting the Kintarks and Humans against each other, what does he stand to gain? Clearly he went after the Trankarans for resources, and sent the Drakkar after the Ashanath to keep them gaining any territory back from the Terrans.

So why didn't he go after the Maliri before now? if they're so primed to be Progenitor armies, it seems like the obvious move. ...unless he didn't want to tip his hand. There had to have been some flaw in the Maliri armies of the past for him to prefer AI. On the edge of my seat waiting to know what Tashana knows. Good work!

Needs more blindfolds, piercings, playful sex games, and a welcome party/makeup sex for Irillith. Maybe she could take the girls 'shopping' for Maliri jewelry.

Norwood seems like the type to have some kind of PR war declared on John and others. He's got to have some kind of sneaky counter, aside from a robot army.

Irrilith will probably want her heavy fighter style ship that she had, but it seemed like the Raptor was max capacity for the Invictus hangar.

Since they are doing a refit anyways.

Coolest ladies and coolest toys and lots of bothof those, or maybe John has all that he needs.

The idea that I sent you was sent on April 3rd, this year. It was titled; Ideas for Three Square Meals. There was a document attached to the email, with some new ideas in it that I believed would fit into your universe. Again, keep up the good writing and I hope that you continue to crank out more!

This isn't directly about TSM, which I should say up front I'm enjoying thoroughly, and looking forward to every new installment. Thanks Tefler!

I came across this recently and enjoyed it, and I expect a lot of the readers of this story (especially some of the commenters) will as well. TSM is certainly guilty of some of them, but as Tefler has explicitly said, he, and we, don't really care.

I can't post a link, but if you google

"Stoss Towards a taxonomy of cliches in Space Opera"

it comes up as the first hit for me.

Tefler can you give any updates...:'(

That's a great list! The one that bugs me the most is, "Everywhere on a planet shares a common climate and the same weather patterns"

There was an episode of Stargate where that was beautifully satired by an easily overlooked sentence. After getting stranded at an unknown place in the universe they climb out of the frozen cave to find that they are surrounded by ice as far as the eye can see and say, "Oh no! It's an ice planet!" Later on they find out that they are on Antarctica, Earth. Ice planet! LoL! I loved that.

Sorry for not keeping my biography page up to date, I've been busy and forgot!

I've written 19k of chapter 55, and I want to cover all of the Invictus refit (and the asteroid weapon test carnage afterwards!) all in one go. I've submitted part 1 to my editors, and I'm making a start on part 2.

This one will probably be a double sized chapter, and I guess it will most likely be out by the end of next week.

Tefler

To SwirlingJedi,

I just replied to your original email with some feedback on your great character ideas.

Cheers

Tefler

Some interesting feedback on the last couple of chapters.

Regarding Irillith:

I'd pretty much tortured her since she first step foot on the Invictus, and after all the doom and gloom in chapter 53, I'd had quite enough angst from the high spirited Maliri. She spent two weeks getting topped up, which is plenty of time for John to have healed her damaged personality, and eliminate any confrontational behaviour between her and the rest of the crew. I touched on her difficulty in actually expressing these new emotions in Chapter 53, and again in the latest one.

I could have slowly eased her into being with them, but as she's now one of the gang, the rest of them would instantly forgive her any eruptions, so it would have been a bit of a dull read. Since they know she's there for eternity, there would just be no point in antagonising her, no matter the provocation, figuring enough time with John would settle her down.

As much as I'd love to discuss Tashana, I better not say anything, to avoid giving away spoilers.

Regarding Faye, I don't recall any stories with a purple pixie, chirpy AI, finding their feet before, but like most genres, pretty much everything has been written about before in one way or another. If I think something's cool, I'll consider including it, as long as I think it fits with the story.

John's had a lot to deal with over the last few weeks, barely being present aboard the ship most of the time. He'd have a few choice things to say if Dana asked for Faye to be given control of the Invictus, but while Faye is a handy research assistant, with a convenient off-switch, he's fine with her being around.

Finally regarding Dana and the new elements she discovered. One of my editors mentioned the same thing, about her discovering isotopes rather than elements. I've expanded on this as I always intended to in Chapter 55, and hopefully my explanation there will satisfy your scientific suspension of disbelief!

Thanks for taking the time for the lengthy feedback,

Tefler

When I called Faye part of an overplayed sci-fi trope, I was referring to the "naive and inevitably female AI has a strong desire to learn about human emotions and connections and we find that she's not so different from us and eventually she can't help but wonder what this feeling is that humans call love and eventually gets a body so we can finally touch..." trope. Maybe that was just a kneejerk reaction to all the commenters saying she needs to get a body so John can bang her pronto. Now that I reflect on what we've seen of her, she has really been more childlike than all that. Probably a fun writing exercise actually. I'll be interested to see where you take her.

It's a fair point that she's mostly non-threatening at this juncture, especially with the aforementioned off-switch. I suppose I just expected John to address it in the text. In any case, we'll eventually have to address just how far to let her go if she's going to do any of the (admittedly very cool) ideas some other commenters have suggested to improve the capabilities of the Invictus.

A question I just thought of: can Irillith still use her hacking deck without killing Faye? Will the hacking deck just use Faye every time now instead of destroying her and generating a new one? I guess she's still tied to it, so I suppose Faye could just stick around and go with them. Or maybe with Progenitor upgrades Irillith would be so good at hacking she doesn't need AI assistance anymore?

One final thought: according to Google, I'm only the second person in the history of the internet to ever use the phrase "magic space jizz." Kinda disappointing really. I expected more. Still I don't think I'll ever be able to top the guy who referred to it as "Captain Quadscroat's pecker snot" in the comments a while back.

Tefler left a teaser we have not really touched on yet. Namely the visual anomoly Irillith was experiencing when she was downloading the weapon specs.

So where do you think this is going?

I think it has to do with a Progen John / John enhancing her computer/hacking skills where she can direct-link through her mind to the computer systems. Any other thoughts?

Thanks for pointing that out. What do Irillith's spots in the eyes and periferal vision issues mean? Always hard to say with Tefler but I'll take a stab and say it has something to do with her third DNA helix.

Wonder if it could be psychic echos, or precognition, as her psychic abilities begin to manifest?

Mal

I have done little else in my free time than read this story. Sometimes I have had to take a breather and look away. As other readers have noted, the passages where P-John took over were difficult to read. It made my heart sink to see John Blake act like a bastard, such as to that merchant in a decaying orbit for instance.

I just want to emphasize that the assault on the shining palace was climactic, and the race back to Valaden cloistered in his ready room was dreadfully tense, and the rescue of John from the abyssal torment by Alyssa MADE IT ALL WORTH WHILE. So many times, a writer develops a stunning cast and a dreamlike state such as unlimited mind control or unlimited wishes, but balks at creating tension. You did it.

I was so pleased John was going to bring Irillith into his crew. I thought it was fucking sexy that the bitch was going to come crawling to him on her knees to do as the other girls wantonly do. Things didn't go quite as I predicted, however. When Irillith was first brought on board the Invictus, I thought that she would begin to sense the way that they behaved, she would learn just how much better treated she could be, and this would be the thing that emotionally broke her down and ultimately into John's arms. Things went quite differently, she simply saw kindness as a sign of weakness. I totally bought Rachael's theory, thinking that John's Mael'nerak personality was being epigenetically activated by the presence of a Maliri. As time passed and John got better right before feeding Irrilith, that theory broke down. Later, the true reason was revealed, and it made perfect sense how P-John was defeated, given everything so far. If I wanted to nitpick plot holes, Alyssa unleashed her vast psionic null zone on the Ashanath homeworld point blank to John and his crown was ... unharmed?

I noticed Alyssa got a power boost after they brought Irillith into the fold, when she shaped Alyssium five times over for an entire section of armor plating. It seems the group gets stronger each time someone is added. Now it seems that Matriarch Blake's group of girls will no longer grow if their connection remains severed, on the other hand, they reconnected, so I guess there's no telling until John adds yet another to the fold. I suspect Luna wants the D, as does Makaela.

Thanks for taking the tack that you do with Rachael's DNA analysis. She worked with knowledge gaps, but she focused on what someone with time, vast intellectual capabilities and computer-like, limitless focus might be able to glean from analyzing a few strands of alien DNA. 'Nuff said, you knew what you were doing.

Concerning the recent huge power boost that all the girls gained, I suspect that it isn't just because of Edraele's addition. When the bond was reestablished, it was structured differently. I believe that it now distributes the psychic bounty equitably whereas previously John hoarded the majority of the power.

@wet_special writes: Alyssa unleashed her vast psionic null zone on the Ashanath homeworld point blank to John and his crown was ... unharmed?

Not the same situation at all for two reasons. First of all, Edraele's mind channeled the null zone to a single point in John's crown. Secondly and more importantly, I suspect that Alyssa's ability wouldn't harm John anymore than it would harm Alyssa. They are too tightly bound for that.

I'd also speculate that the technologically created null zone does not work the same way as Alyssa's null zone, but I have no evidence for that.

Ohhhh! l Like your precognition idea! A prescient crewmember on the Invictus would be a real game changer!

You are correct to call it a "game changer, but in a bad way. Prescience is the worst possible idea unless you structure a story specifically around it. Nothing destroys stories like knowing the ending unless the the prescience is extremely misleading, in which case it is at best a hint. All too often the writer tries to be "clever" by having the vision influence a character's actions so that the precognition becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. This is a old hoary cliché which I have seen waaay too many times. Merely using precognition to provide hints destroys a need for characters to be clever so that doesn't work well either.

The best use of prescience ever was on the TV show Babylon 5 where a character sees a vision of his own season 5 death as early as season 1. That knowledge then has a large effect on characters for several seasons. It is an albatross that the character needs to struggle against to find his own meaning. Finally when the time of the vision arrives it turns out to have a completely different meaning than everyone expected, resulting in a huge "Aha!" moment. This worked because the character's whole story arc was written around this single story element.

tl;dr: You really need to stretch a story around this power since it is a force majeure of storytelling that can dominate and force out more interesting elements without very careful handling.

I agree with your insights into prescience done poorly. I was thinking of something a bit more limited...such as an anticipation of events only a few minutes into the future. Unless one is a total fatalist, the long term future is always in flux due to random decisions in exercise of free will. But something imminent, say 30 seconds to 5 minutes out, would come in very handy, particularly in battlefield ops. That level of prescience would not have the pitfalls you mentioned, as the character would just have enough time to act purposely rather than reactionary in a conflict.

However, these peripheral images in her vision occurred when she was downloading digital information. So I am thinking it is more a biological/electrical interface being formed.

The U.S. Military is experimenting with this, wet-wiring a processor into the human brain. This was recently reported by Fox News and it is my understanding that a breakthrough has been reached. This has enormous implications for medicine, education, genetic defects, killer viruses like Sikka, Ebola, Aides, etc...Even giving a blind person eyesight, a deaf person super hearing.

The issue is where the electrical signals are transmuted into brainwaves and brainwaves into electrical impulses...between information bottlenecks and burning up the biological information pathways where these signals are transmuted. It is very cutting edge military stuff, so it is pure speculation...but hints have gotten out that significant progress is being made. Mostly in the form of greatly increasing the biological pathways.

If Irillith is developing that capability, it would be an awesome tactical advantage. Controlling the Invictus computer systems, and other ships computer systems at the speed of thought. Think of a human AI.

I'm not too keen on the prescience idea but in Dune it was addressed as an infinite delta of flows and events, which the prescient individual (Paul Atreides) would scan and explore, looking for an escape from the seemingly inevitable bad endings. Paul could foresee situations or outcomes, even deaths, and not know whether they were going to happen or what he could do to prevent them. It also made him a formidable tactician and helped him avoid dirty tricks and traps. On the other hand, there were plenty of things he never figured out until it was too late to change course.

Terrans have a hot variety

Trankarans all rock their man

Grey's dirty minds will tease

But when they want to please

There is only one place that has

The coolest girls in the 'verse

I wish all thralls could be blue Maliri girls,

John's gonna need lots of Maliri girls

Allysa better learn to love sharing with Maliri giiiiiirls.....

"He leaned in and asked, "So what could have threatened this original Progenitor enough for him to do that? Using the Drakkar doesn't seem like the normal way a Progenitor normally does things. They're mostly male for starters." Rachel shrugged helplessly, and said, "Sorry, I've no idea on that one." Calara had been listening intently, and she said, "If this Progenitor disappeared, it doesn't look like this gambit worked. Maybe he was killed by whatever threat he was responding to?" Alyssa looked grim as she stated what everyone was thinking, "So what was powerful enough to kill a Progenitor, and where is it now?""

Remember in the battle between Progen John and Alyssa? Progen john had, "a moment of realization and said, 'YOU!'" Hummmmm....Did that Anti-Progen manifest itself in Alyssa?

Could have been the last matriarch although I don't see it if his matriarch's free will had been wiped out. It could have been one of the late progenitor's most gifted DNA engineer thralls simply trying to hold the fort against a vengeful Galactic alliance that had already defeated the progenitor himself, but that's just one of the theories I'm kicking around. I'm sure Tefler is already clear on it which is why he's not going to say what it was until he's good and ready.

Precognition, does not have to rule the theme, a vision or prescience feeling may be one of several possibilities. For example, a feeling of impending traps that has we are aware of them, but may trigger or avoid. It may be just images of a dangerous foe, that when met provides a wariness rather than trust, the foe may or may not be engaged, or may be engaged at a much later time (i.e., many chapters in advance, e.g., the Babyalon 5 example where precognition of death took 5 seasons to resolve).

If used incorrectly, then why bother (agreed), but used for intelligence data gathering, may well be a useful adaptation, that can lead Irillith to new lines of evidence before Calara would work out the finer details from a tactical point of view. I see possible layers on layers of intelligence depth available for john from precognition (intuitive) casing of intel, and tactical advantage.

Mal

@Tefler : I am glad you have crossed 37k 😊..words in the next chapter. I am really hoping you will be able to post your work on Wednesday

Chapter 55 has ended up beng much bigger than I originally intended. I wanted to cover the refit in one go, but there were a few other things I wanted to include too. I'm planning to try and wrap up the end of it tonight, then with editing time, it should probably be up on the site by the end of the week.

Hope you had a nice weekend!

Tefler

I really appreciate your efforts to fix me up with my drug.

How big is the Maliri Regency?

For starters it is stunted and has pruned itself badly, but is John now consort to a budding Queen of a stellar empire that seems like it is big. Big enough to scare Terran Federation Admirals I expect. I suspect it is actually much bigger than we have been shown.

One of the recurrent themes in human society is the balance between good and evil within us all. That concept fits neatly with the subconscious and conscious minds as well as the deep, reptilian level mind within us (it is all about me, no room for compassion, no room for fear, acting only on an instinctual level).

So, to me, the idea of an Anti-Progen 'force' to balance the evil of the Progens just makes perfect sense. And the fact that the two would be somewhat symbiotic within a Progen seems natural. Now, while there seem to be some differences in John's psychological makeup (yes, we know he is not human), the similarities are close enough that we can identify with John/Progen John's situation.

This has not been seen as being the case with Alyssa, however. And the level of power she commands is well beyond what any normal Progen would allow, for obvious reasons. Folks, for all intents and purposes, SHE defeated a PROGEN! That puts her, at the very least, on the anti-progen playing level.

Additionally, how did she know how to do the things she did? Not just the fight (which she said was instinctual....but if you read carefully it is obvious she was being subconsciously led) but also when she 'helped John protect Irillith and the girls from Progen John? She has no recollection of that, which means she, herself, is going through the same things Progen John and John did....only hers is benevolent rather than antagonistic and is melding with Alyssa as opposed to conquering like Projen John attempted.

Like I said earlier, the Anon who mentioned it has a point....that concept has legs.

I think you have a very valid idea there with the tactical and investigative points where an intelligence officer would greatly benefit from some type of precognition or prescience.

Yeah, this is a very intriguing plot twist. If she can unite the Maliri so they stop their in-fighting and fratricide, sororicide, filicide, patricide, mariticide, matricide, uxoricide, and siblicide they could very easily have a population explosion and, within a generation, become an expanding empire.

On a personal note: Not a big fan of the longer wait times between the monster chapters. I think I vote for the cliffhangers...I like the anticipation...and the regular fix.

I disagree with PussyLickersRus. Even if it means longer wait times between chapters, I'd rather not have cliffhangers. A chapter every other week is okay with me if it means that we end at a more natural breakpoint.

Though three weeks between chapters does strain me a bit. ;)

It's a tricky one to balance. With all the subplots going on, there's usually mini cliffhangers sprinkled through each chapter, so if I make the chapters shorter, it's more likely to end on one.

I like the weekly releases, as its fun to read the flurry of new comments after each chapter. If readers are confused by something I've just written, then faster feedback lets me address it more quickly in a subsequent chapter.

I hadn't really intended chapter 55 to grow this large, but it seemed a shame to waste an opportunity to reveal a little more about the Maliri. I also wanted to expand a bit more on Edraele, progenitors, psychic powers and a few other bits and pieces that have been brewing for a while.

I wrote another 4k last night, and I'm just wrapping things up, so the end of the week still looks likely.

Tefler

For my 5c worth, while I like the 5-7 day turn around for a chapter has benefits it does mean a potential cliff hanger, but I also like the meatier longer chapters that deal with a whole subplot. Hence, I am happy for you to mix them up, leave some on a cliffhanger, but then complete others as you see fit.

Mal

I wonder when our hero will continue his studies in swordsmanship. His teacher is not known for patience in waiting for his student. After all, the final battle with Johns nemesis will be a sword fight. Additionally he has to take revenge for the outrage done to Yamamoto, which let to his withdrawal from the public. I am pretty sure that Yamamoto doesn't know who his student is. He is not interested in daily news.

I'm just waiting for him to default Yamamoto so he can meet sensei's very cute granddaughter. We all know Yamamoto has one! With her superb sword skills, she'll be a great assault team leader once she's been seduced and upgraded.

Probably obvious that I made a typo in my last post.

default... supposed to be defeat.

There are enough sub-plots already to keep the story going for awhile!

John has to mold Edreale back into a leader of the Maliri. Will she become queen? And will he control her for the good of the Maliri. He may have to feed the bodyguards or at least let them in on it.

Is Tashana alive and will they seek her out?

We have the assassin, who hired him? It seems he has already set up two traps.

The story behind Yamamoto.

We still have the war going on. They have 30 tons of Tryinium to offload at Olympus.

The traitor in the Federation High Command. Is there more people involved?

There is still Rupert Grant on the run. Is he somehow connected to the traitor/s?

What did PJ learn from the Glowing Queen?

The quest to find John's mother which could make another 20 chapters easy.

Where/when will John and Alyssa seek advanced psychic training?

Early in the story going to the Brimorians for shields was on the list.

Then there is the Progenitor show down which may come last.

Tefler is at the helm and I have enjoyed this story. His writing has improved but as the story expands it is tough to keep on top of continuity. So far he is doing a damn good job IMO. He sure doesn't need the slams some people have given him. Constructive criticism is one thing but a flat out slam is another. It's your story Tefler!

I like the 5 to 6 page chapters till something big happens.

Teffler! Don't listen to him! He is the Devil! ;-)

I meant Slinky

I'm not rich enough to afford more than 5c, so thanks for the refund :), it will be needed for my next opinion ;).

You praise me too much, making me the devil; a small homoculus, or incubus would have been more that enough.

Mal

Maliri intervention to broker a cease fire!

Fuck you evil progenitors Progenitors and their deceiving Lackeys.

If you don't believe evil exists spend a couple days in a warzone, then tell yourself, "Some assholes, Wanted this to happen."

@Tefler: can we expect next chapter tommorow...I am pretty exited for a huge chapter but still absolutely hate waiting

New chapter still 404's, so probably two days. It usually displays as needing admin approval one day before it is released.

Chapter 55 definitely won't be up tomorrow. I've still got a bit more to write on the third part, and some editing to go. It won't be as big as chapter 55, but should still be triple the size of a "regular" chapter.

Tefler

The longer chapters make it a lot harder for me to read it in one sitting. Busy lifestyles make it much harder to sit down and read for more than a couple hours.

As food for thought:

Was evil John anything like the clues indicate the original progenitor was? If you answer no then it begs to question; is John actually the progenitor or something else?

Ok, now i have to wait for new chapters which sucks when you love what your reading lol, good job Tefler. I had a feeling Alyssa was the lightness and love in his dreams he had while sub consciously fighting the darkness while he slept, looking forward to hopefully plenty more chapters of this highly entertaining addictive story :) - Tazzy

Take a bow Redleg. These are potential lead ins to many more chapters. I have a few more. We just have to hope Tefler stays motivated - and keeps his sense of humour.

What size the chapters are and how quick they come is less important than he kindly keeps them coming. A good while back someone posted: Write the story the way it feels correct to you. "Most" of us here aren't reading this for spank material, we actually like the story.' High praise given the nature of this site and he's correct 'write it the way it feels correct'.

If Tefler does that then we are always going to be surprised at the chapter length. That's a feature I have enjoyed about his story telling - another surprise and WTF just when you think you've nailed a plot line.

Oh and don't give yourselves a pat on the back when you get one right if you just file it away and look for the next mystery to solve. Call it precognition but all that's gone before builds bigger story arcs that are not obvious yet.

Sheesh....Is your life always so serious? OF COURSE most of us know/realize/accept Tefler is going to write his story as he sees fit....(eye roll). But how else are we gonna bide the time until he gets his next chapter out? LOL. It's all in good fun. And forgive me the occasional gloat when I nail a plot line...I have missed so many due to Tefler's exceptional writing skills that when I do get one, yeah, I feel I have met a major challenge and won....that is a tribute to his writing...not a knock. sheesh again.

Glad you were able to accept the gentle ribbing in the manner it was intended...and I hear you about the 5 cents refund...I still have to work for a living myself ;-).

I wasn't pointing fingers at you bud, but now that I'm patiently waiting for 55 I went back thru and starting re-reading the chapters and all the comments that were made since I read that chapter. I think I know who are the fans but there are some slams back there now by a few other readers that I sure didn't think were fair. This is the most commented story I've seen here and even some of the comments are a good read. I'm hooked, now part of the Teflar book club I guess.

Tefler has been good at establishing subplots, even those that are just a hint right now. He has got a base started now for a good continuing story. W.E.B. Griffin is good for stretching subplots between books in a series. To me it makes for a interesting story to read. It makes the reader have to remember. You can't get what we have already in a 2 hour movie. If you think of it as a TV series and even cut most of the sex scenes out this could be 40-45 hrs. That is about two full US seasons (24 episodes per season) of 1 hour time slot episodes.

I trust he will keep us going. He has been improving his writing skills and I'm proud of him. He is doing great with the dialogue between characters for a new writer. I can't wait to see what Ederales speech is going to be.

So, Tef...chapter 55 is turning out to be another ~16 page epic, isn't it? You're already at about 47k words for it and you haven't even sent the thing off to the editors yet. Your timeframe of having it out by the end of the week is looking less and less likely, but you know what? I'm okay with that, because that means if it comes out start of next week, I get to read it all in one sitting and not lose any sleep. I was (am) afraid it'll come out on one of my work days and I'd end up having to prioritize either sleep before work or the story. I don't want to do that because this story deserves better; it deserves to be read with as little interruption as possible.

With that said, take your time Tefler and write the story as you see fit, end the chapter on a cliffhanger or don't, it doesn't matter, just as long as you get us the chapter ASAP! Seems like a contradiction there, doesn't it? I tell you to take your time, then in the same sentence tell you to hurry the #@%! up. I know. Such is the dichotomy between a reader's desire to satisfy their addiction as quickly as possible while still ensuring that they get the quality they want.

So, do your thing Tefler at your own pace, but be quick about it, 'k? Thanks. :D

...you would think Tefler would have let the girls make them a device to get the story out of their head and on (virtual) paper by now.

Or... or... wait. Is that not how stories work?

for sci-fi genre junkies that have not read it i would recommend reading

the "Theirs Not To Reason Why" series of 5 books

Pardon my rant but Tefler most likely (I am assuming that he is in fact over 18) has a job. Quite a few comments said that he was taking too long. While I wish he uploaded sooner he does upload rather quickly compared to other authors. Thank you

I think you meant that chapter 55 will not be as long as chapter 53, because chapter 55 will be as long as chapter 55, by definition. I don't care how long it is, if only I can read it, but take _your_ time for writing it and we will be amazed with wat we got, triggering a new round of what will happen next; and if the science is correct - or not.

The comments are sometimes better in explaining things and a good reading while waiting for the next chapter.

I am curious how everything will work out with the refitting/rebuilding of the Invictus, because Edraele is in a zombie-like state, and not be able to give orders as she would be before progentor-John erased her personality. Makaela will be curious about John; maybe she, and Edraele's bodyguard, will be connected to a different group, but that is pure gamble from me.

Herman Grootaers

Edraele's closest advisors definitely should be converted. I'm a little iffy about the morality of it, but if the people around Edraela figure out what happened to her she won't be able to maintain power. I really doubt the truth can be concealed from them forever and she'll need help from others to maintain the deception. If the dominos start to fall and people find out that Edraele has become a puppet John will be in real trouble for having staged a coup against a lawful government.

To forestall this he's going to have to push the needle on his moral compass. Otherwise he won't be able to help any of the people who Edraele has been oppressing until now.

It's all good. I actually tend to agree with you about some of the posters. I have been the object of one wannabe bad boy's obsession with private comments aimed at getting a rise out of me just for the sense of power it gave them....It was funny and sad all at the same time. I know Tefler has had to ban some due to questionable practices...which I can appreciate. I just love the story, personally.

I finished chapter 55 last night, and have been working with the editors to tidy everything up. I'm about half way through editing at the moment, and I'll aim to submit the chapter for moderation in the next day or so. With the way the site works, it will probably be Tuesday when it's been fully approved.

The uk is going through a heatwave at the moment, and it's been oppressively muggy which hasn't been much fun. With it being so hot, I haven't been able to do as much writing, so hopefully we'll get a nice big thunderstorm to break the weather!

Tefler

I suspect that whenever she is feeling blue Irrilith will go back to the security videos. She has to have a few of those scenes that are hands down favorites.