All Comments on 'The Interview'

looking forward to wherever this is going

Please learn that tense is important. You can't switch from present tense to past tense in the same story. It's very distracting. Here's an example;

You can't have one paragraph in the the present tense, like; "John senses her fear, and tries to comfort her".

And then follow it up with a paragraph in the past tense, like: "John sensed her fear, and tried to comfort her".

See the difference? You have to pick ONE, and stick with it through the entire story. Stop flopping back and forth. Maybe have an editor check your work before you post it.

This stuff is important... it makes a potentially good story unreadable.

Not sexy at all, just violent.

At Reeds home Layla was shown the kitchen and told to make a drink for them both, as Reed drunk his coffee Layla started to laugh, what's got you all happy Reed asked, you dumb fuck did you really think that you would get away with that. Reed looked at his coffee as the world turned black. The end.

I am all for constructive criticism. However, please learn that you don't have to talk down to someone to inform them of their mistake.

This is fantastic! I have been hoping for a new author who can wrote noncon this well!

Creative changes in tense are allowed and worked well in this story.

You need to write more. I am considering making an account to follow you so that I don’t miss the next story.

You nailed Non-consent.

I agree w melsdad. Would like to see chpt 2 also.

enjoyed the story! hope more will come, keep it up !

I grew up with an abusive mother, so yeah I have been talked down to my whole life.

That comment could have been said simply as. "Double check your tense. It got hard to follow at this part and this part, etc" But I used past tense since I was talking about past tense things that were leading up to the present tense story to paint a better picture of who the characters are and what was going on.

Thanks to those of you who enjoyed the story and left positive feedback. It means a lot!

This could be the start of a saga. Will it?

It’s only been a few days and I’m already checking for a sequel.

Yes it will be. I am working on typing up part 2. I wrote these stories down in leather journals a while back