All Comments on 'Big Surprise'

by seatball

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fukensplooginfukensplooginalmost 18 years ago
fun stroke story

good work for a first submission. i liked it! but surely there has to be some reason she comes onto the narrator? i find it to be too much of a leap that giving her a ride is enough for a french kiss... certainly there was some underlying attraction somewhere, just remember to flesh it out! when the characters are people and have reasons for doing what they do, it makes the story better. peace!

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