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All Comments on 'Lauren's Beach Trip Ch. 01'

by luvbroker

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  • 2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 20 years ago
lacked punctuation

and you changed from writing about someone to writing to them. you changed from past tense to present and back. the style made the story impossible to read.

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
garbage

1*

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Lauren's Beach Trip Ch. 02 Next Part
Lauren's Beach Trip Series Info