All Comments on 'Soon Again'

So this is an interesting twist to the traditional boy/girl tale. A little backstory on Conner would be helpful...remember Conner is a complete character 'in your head' but you have to make sure that he's a complete character in ours. Even if there are things you don't want to reveal about him, at least at first, you have to make sure that we, the reader, can understand who he is and where he's coming from.

I was similarily confused with who was 'in control' of the budding relationship as it progressed to his dorm room. It seemed to flip so fast that you lost me and I had to stop and backtrack to catch up. If a reader 'drops out of the moment' like that you have to work twice as hard as a writer to bring them back inside your story.

Finally, have a deeper understanding of the 'female perspective'. Would she really just go with him like that? Would she really allow herself to be carried off to a strange dorm room by someone she just met? And, would she really want to do it again 'soon' after such a brutal rape?

You asked for feedback, I hope you understand that all of this is to support your writing not bash your idea which I find intriguing (Conner as a character, that is). Good luck and do your homework...;-)

One last note...I showed my first story to my closest friend and she ripped it to shreds...literally. I went back to my room to lick my literary wounds but I eventually recognized that she was right...I needed to do my homework as a writer.

Will there be a next chapter? I think it has potential. I agree with the other comment about backstory would be nice, but it is a short short type story...at least thus far.

Lovely story.

Thanks for the feedback. I like the idea of a backstory, so I will get to work on that. (Oh yeah, forgot to mention: Connor is real. This story is not, obviously.)

I think I liked the story but it happened so fast, I'm not sure what happened. Maybe my mind is too slow?

It would be great if there was more information about Connor though that should have been introduced in another story (or chapter) first or at the start of this story. Like how did he become a guy? Witchcraft? Vampires? Magic? Or?

I'm used to stories on literotica that take more time to build up, though that's not saying the only way is a longer story.

I give it 5 stars anyhow... ;-) (but I really do want to know more)

Meltnmold