Sugar & Spice

"What about Sean? Is he better? Can I see him?"

Evelyn suddenly felt very old.

"He's gone, Sweetheart. He was just too sick. We tried so hard, but we just couldn't save him. I'm sorry."

It was as though the older woman had just punched Shauna in the stomach. She clutched herself in her own arms and rocked back and forth, silently crying. Evelyn said the only words she could think of saying.

"Honey, what you and your brother shared was no different than two conjoined twins sharing one vital organ. It wasn't possible to save both of you. It almost wasn't possible to save either of you, but we did try. We were lucky with you. Our luck ran out with Sean. I can't help him anymore, but I can help you. I want you to come home."

"Home. You mean, quit hooking."

"Well... if you want to."

"And do what? I can't exactly go back to the hospital – or school."

"I'll figure something out. I always do."

Shauna just stared at Evelyn as though she were an alien from another planet.

"Let bygones be bygones. Just like that?"

"Please, Baby, don't make this harder than it already is. I am reaching out to you. Are you sorry I did? Do you hate me that much? Do you want me to send you away again and bring 'Sugar' back for good? I can do that."

"You would, wouldn't you?"

Evelyn reflected on that a moment.

"Yes, Baby, I would - but not for the reason you think. It's not about the money. It's not about the control. It's not that I take some sadistic pleasure in manipulating you like a puppet. I want you to be happy. I want you to be at peace with yourself and your life. God knows you and Sean found little of that growing up. If it takes turning you into 'Sugar' again to do that, if I have to lose my 'Shauna' once and for all, then that is what I will do. I will hate it - and myself - for the rest of my life, but I will do it. Is that what you want?"

"No."

The answer had been so softly spoken, yet had steel behind it.

"Are you ready to come home with me?"

There was a long pause.

"No. Not yet. And 'Sugar' hasn't gone anywhere. She - I - am right here. When I told you I like my life, that was for both of us, speaking as one. I don't want to change that; not for a while, anyway. I like having memories again; real ones. At least, I hope they are real this time. I like being able to remember my mother, the way she was before.... well, you know. I like remembering Sharon is my sister. I like being able to remember my brother, even if I can't see his face anymore. I like remembering you have been as good and loving a mother to me as my birth mother was. Most of all, I like remembering I loved you and Sharon very, very much. I'm just going to need some time, after all of this, to remember why."

Evelyn Rossi raised her daughter's hands to her own lips and kissed them softly.

"I guess that is better than I had a right to expect. I can live with that - for now. Is there anything I can do for you in the meantime?"

"Yes. You can give me back my husband... you slut."

"Your husb... oh, of course. Perhaps it is time the two of you got... reacquainted. We'll call it a 'perk' for a job well done. Then again, I'm not willing to give him up completely. We will have to work out some time-sharing arrangement. What are you going to tell him?"

Shauna gently grasped her stepmother's arm and pulled Evelyn down next to her. She rested her head on the woman's shoulder and sighed expressively.

"I am going to tell him the truth. I work for Syd now. Men are fucking me for money every night. I am making almost as much money as he is. I am addicted to sex. I can't give it up, won't give it up, don't want to give it up. I will also tell him I love him like crazy and want to share it all with him."

She didn't have to see the blonde's face to sense the expression of utter astonishment.

"You can't possibly believe he will go for it."

"You mean, not like 'the most influential, connected woman in Aurora can't find her own little girl in a town this size and would be intimidated by lame threats made by some petty underworld thug'? I know my man. I think I can...persuade him. Like mother, like daughter."

Then Shauna looked up.

"Petty?"

"Just a figure of speech."

Shauna smiled and winked. Evelyn returned both. It was like a silent signal between them. Mother and daughter had said all they wanted to say for now; the rest would be worked out in the fullness of time. It was time for 'Sugar' and 'Syd' to take the stage once again. Evelyn rose and turned to behold her proud, confident daughter. Gazing down, she sadly realized she had been too late. Her 'little girl' was, indeed, lost to her forever. The equally-proud parent would get over her loss. Shauna was the first to speak.

"So, what about this 'criminal record' I now have? What if I want to do something else with my life later on, like Sharon?"

'Syd' smirked, carefully tracing one of Sugar's enormous breasts with an exquisitely manicured fingertip.

"Oh, why would you want to do that? This is where you belong; you and I both know that. I just...greased the wheels to make it all happen. I think I'll have to keep you here a while. You have turned into quite the little money-maker for me. I mean, just look at yourself. You have a comfortable place to live, a closet full of really sexy clothes, a great place to work, outstanding customer rapport, more income than girls your age dream of making, and..."

Evelyn nodded in the direction of the door.

"...your own personal security detail. Last but not least, you get all the sex you want. Rock stars don't have it as good as you. What's not to like? Keep up the good work, Baby Doll. I'll look in on you again soon."

With that, Evelyn was out the door. On her way out, she smirked at the two policemen.

"OK, boys, she's all yours. Take good care of her for me."

Out of sight, a suppressed tear finally made its way down her cheek.

She didn't used to be this emotional in her dealings with her girls. "You must be getting soft in your old age, Evie," she muttered under her breath. Then again, none touched her as deeply and personally as 'Sugar' – none since Nora.

She hadn't been completely honest with the girl even then. Evelyn did have a future in mind for her, one away from the streets. No one knew better than the experienced ex-hooker the frightening toll The Life could exact on a working girl, using her up far before her time. This girl had proven herself to be just like her mentor; talented, charming, resourceful, seductive, manipulative. Any girl who could adapt - thrive- as quickly as this one had, who could have Evelyn's two toughest 'enforcers' wrapped around her little finger after one day on the job, was destined for stardom.

Could the girl also be ruthless when she had to be? Evelyn cast a brief, unrepentant thought towards six testosterone-crazed teenage rapists and their bigoted, facilitating Principal. How would 'Sugar' have dealt with them, had it been her responsibility as a parent? The thought tantalized 'Syd'. After some additional 'seasoning', Sugar would move up; first, as a dancer at Elysium, later into Management itself. Perhaps, one day, she would take Evelyn's own place upon her retirement.

Evelyn liked the thought of that, of having created a legacy she could pass on to her own child, like any other proud parent. She certainly couldn't do that with Sharon. Evelyn knew her elder daughter loved her, as Shauna did. But this entire affair, and the revelation of 'Evie' Rossi's illicit empire had strained their relationship. Sharon just wasn't cut out for a life like that. Most people weren't. Evelyn was OK with that. She had another daughter who was - times ten. With Sharon going away to college in the Fall, the house would be an empty, lonely place for the first time in... almost nineteen years. Had it really been that long? Evelyn prayed Shauna would come around by then, come home to her. They now had so much more in common - and so much to talk about.

There was nothing to be gained - and much to lose - by revealing the story of the real 'Shauna Carlisi'. Her femme name had been Angela, not Shauna; the records had been altered on that point. She had been Sharon's age, the son-turned-daughter of Evelyn's own sister. Angie had been a Union City hooker, turned out by her gang-banger boyfriend. All the details of Shauna's cover story had been accurate - save one; Roberto had found Angie. He was in Rahway now, awaiting the cold embrace of his next lover - The Needle. In death, Angie had offered the gift of Life - and a second chance - to a cousin and kindred spirit she never knew. Sure, Evelyn could have found another identity for Shauna, even invented one. She preferred to think this one was somehow pre-ordained. That way, it would give meaning to the short life and senseless, violent death of her niece, as well as the rehabilitation of her own child. She didn't know what effect the knowledge would have on Shauna and didn't care to find out; not now. There had been too much senseless tragedy around her, Evelyn thought. Finally, she had a reason to hope.

Ultimately, Evelyn knew she would be called to account for what she had done to her Pride and Joy. What would she tell Nora when she saw her then? Would her best friend be able to dispassionately survey the human wreckage that had been 'Sean' and proclaim any fate was better for her baby than that? Or would she damn Evelyn for all time for this most ultimate betrayal? Evelyn couldn't begin to guess. Then again, one thing was certain: the girl had been 'salvaged' and become a functioning, reasonably well-adjusted human being – considering the circumstances. More to the point, Shauna was happy with who she had become and what she was doing. Was it the perfect solution for this tragedy? Not even close. For now, it was a workable one – and the best the older, wiser 'Jersey Girl' could arrange. In the end, Evelyn could live with that. She would have to.

The latch had clicked with a note of finality, punctuating Evelyn's departure. Her 'security detail' had returned and was, even then, resuming their rightful place - as they defined it. 'Sugar' was once again immersed in the brave new world her guardian had created for her. The exquisite young trollop's head was still reeling from too much information. What was real? What was illusion? She had so much to sort out.

The girl took comfort in the newly-rediscovered memories of Nora, her beloved birth mother. Unlike her brother Sean, Shauna remembered the good times and a beautiful, vibrant woman, full of life, whom Shauna had loved with all her heart. There were equally joyful memories of Evelyn and Sharon. Did it really matter to her what they had done, or was she just inventing an excuse to be spiteful? She did like her life, at long last - and they had made it possible. She was here, and this was now. Perhaps, as Evelyn had said, it was time to bury her brother and the past - and make room for an exciting new future. Her Lance would be part of that future; a very big part.

Sugar had no time to ponder what, if anything, she might have wished otherwise. Two throbbing cocks demanded her immediate attention...