15 - Church Lady

"That was one of our better lunch breaks." Amanda said, breathless as she and Dr. N lay next to each other on the couch. "And at least we've found a good use for this since none of the patients ever see, to want to lie down on it."

"I noticed that too, apparently all the television shows aren't up-to-date on the current trends for therapy." Dr. N responded, also still catching her breath. "We should clean up and get ready for our afternoon appointment. This one sounds a little weird from the notes on the appointment, so who knows where it will lead."

Amanda reluctantly rolled off the couch, releasing the doctor from the embrace holding them together. As she stood, she realized she still had one of her heels on and almost tumbled backwards as she planted her feet on the ground unevenly. She staggered to the other shoe and slipped in on before heading back out to her desk in the waiting area. No one was there yet, so they had finished with enough time to spare. But just barely as Amanda heard the door open as their afternoon patient arrived.

"Hello, you must be Maeve. I'm Amanda. The doctor will be a few minutes, she's just getting cleaned up after lunch. Feel free to have a seat while you wait." Amanda greeted their patient normally then went back to work.

She noticed a very soft sobbing coming from the other side of the room. She looked up to see Maeve, head in her hands, crying into them, but she did not seem distressed, just a little sad.

"Everything all right? I'm sure the doctor won't be long now. Oh, and there are tissues on the table next to you if you'd like." Amanda said, in a caring voice that she seldom had the need to use in her current role.

"I'm fine." Maeve sobbed some more, "Just a thing I do too often it seems."

"Oh, that's fine, we're used to tears here in therapy. Cry all you need." Amanda offered, not realizing that tears were not just part of the problem for Maeve, they were the entire problem.

After a longer stretch than Amanda expected the doctor popped out from her office to call Maeve in. As she stepped out to survey the waiting area she winked over at Amanda. Amanda noticed that she had changed her outfit a little bit, losing her usual jacket and just wearing the bustier top she had worn the other day. Amanda liked the new look and winked a hard wink back at the doctor and smiled approvingly. The top put the doctor's most prominent assets on full display. Her already full, but still teardrop shaped, breasts were shoved high up and almost burst out, with just the slightest hint of her areolae teasing their way out.

"Maeve, please come in and have a seat wherever you feel comfortable. I'm Dr. Natalya, or Dr. N if you'd prefer."

Maeve stood, still sobbing lightly and strode into the office, past Amanda without even giving her a second glance. Amanda had never seen someone so melancholy seemingly over nothing at all.

"Are you all right, dear? Do you need more tissues? I can have Amanda bring in another box if you do. Please tell me what is bothering you so much." Dr. N started in a more caring and nurturing way than she was used to. It felt a little awkward for her at first as she usually like to keep a little distance between her and her patients.

"Yes, I'm fine, but more tissues might be nice. Thank you." Maeve's sobbing abated slightly as she spoke and she seemed to be getting it under control once again. "I appreciate you seeing me today, doctor."

Dr. N stepped out and asked Amanda to come in and join them as well as grabbing a couple boxes of tissues for Maeve.

"Oh, anytime dear. Maeve, this is my assistant Amanda. I've asked her to come it to join us to help observe and take notes so I can focus more on you. Now, what is it that you wanted to speak with me about?" Once she established the need for Amanda's presence, Dr. N continued the initial conversation as usual.

Maeve looked up to see Amanda again, seated in the chair on the side of the room. Her gaze lingered as she worked her way down from Amanda's delicate face to the rest of her body still adorned by her French maid outfit, and then stopped at her legs, still on full display in her stockings with her heels now properly affixed to her feet. As Amanda crossed her legs, a glimpse of her pink could be seen and Maeve took it all in. Mindlessly her hand moved between her legs as she continued to enjoy all that Amanda had brought to the room. The slight rubbing started to bring on more subtle sobs as she quickened her pace. Amanda awkwardly shifted in her seat, wondering exactly what to make of the scene unfolding in front of her. Maeve's watery eyes, closed slightly as her body shook, then opened to continue to stare at Amanda's amazing body. Her sobs became slightly amplified, then subsided as she seemed to relax a bit.

"I'm sorry, is everything okay." Amanda asked, concerned, and just a bit confused. She stood to offer Maeve another box of tissues, but she waved her away, indicating she was fine.

"Maeve, if my assistant is making you uncomfortable, I can ask her to leave." Dr. N looked over to Amanda to assure her that she did nothing wrong and that she was just trying to help Maeve in whatever way she could.

"No, no, please. I like having her here. Maybe that's part of my problem. You see, I really like having her here. I find her very attractive, and would enjoy spending some more time with her, I guess is what I'm getting at." Maeve shared thoughts that brought a big smile to Amanda's face, but she tried not to act shamelessly in the face of this woman's obvious struggles.

So, I couldn't help notice that your sobbing almost sounded like something else for a moment, as you were looking at Amanda." Dr. N said in her comforting, yet inquisitive tone.

"Yes, that's why I'm here. I've struggled all my life with intimacy. I thought it was me for a while as I bounced from one empty and unsatisfying relationship to another. Mostly men who I never felt a connection to. As I grew a bit, I realized I had more emotional connections to some women I met, and I acted on a few of those and came much closer to deeper fulfillment, but still fell short." Maeve started to explain her situation more and both the doctor and Amanda both nodded along in agreement, understanding everything she was talking about. However, they didn't quite understand the initial part.

Dr. N needed more clarification and Amanda looked at her and shrugged a bit, not really knowing yet how she fit into this either. "So, about the first part then, and I apologize for being blunt but, what just happened then? A few moments ago?"

"Right, I never did explain that part. So, I seemed to connect to my sexuality more when I dry. I just came before, while looking over at Amanda. When I cry, I get horny, really horny. And when I need to reach a peak I almost always have to be on the verge of an emotional breakdown or physically crying." Maeve looked up at the two of them, after having shielded her face a bit during her confession.

"I see, that is interesting. To be honest, I'm not sure I have ever encountered a case like this, but I'm sure we can help you accept it and move forward. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you, that I can tell at least. And emotions work in different ways for different people. If people can cry tears of joy, I don't see why that emotional connection couldn't also trigger the same sexual response that people get just from the normal hormonal responses. It may even be somewhat healthier as it is still connected to you emotionally and not just a sexual response with nothing else." Dr. N tried again to reassure her patient that there was nothing wrong with how she was feeling and that emotions can trigger responses differently. "To be honest, finding yourself sexually aroused and achieving release while emotionally distraught is probably about the best you could ask for, instead of being depressed and despondent."

"I guess you have a point there, but it still feels weird, especially since I just can't cry on demand, so I need to seek out sad, or happy, moments where crying is normal and plentiful." Maeve shared, leading to where things would get weird.

"So, this is probably the area where you need to be told that what you are doing is acceptable and normal, I assume. Please continue, so we can help you." Dr. N had a way of tuning her voice to the situation just perfectly and had hit just the right blend of sensual and somber to fit Maeve's mood as she let out a soft sob that seemed to hint at a gradual building.

"Indeed, this is the part that I have trouble with and even find disturbing myself." Maeve managed to recover and hush her sob so as to not bring herself off again while she shared her story, not that anyone in the room would have had a problem with her cumming as much as she needed to help with her recovery. "I started with the normal things. I would watch some sad movies to get crying and then masturbate. I might even watch some pretty disturbing videos or images and get myself worked up to start, but always find some scene with a very attractive woman, her eyes a mess from crying, her features all streaked with tears, someone who was at the point of real emotional trauma, to finish."

"I see, were the disturbing images part of the fantasy or was it just to reach the emotional state needed?" Dr. N was trying to tease out enough of the details to determine whether Maeve had suffered her own deeper trauma and that maybe she needed to move past that as well in order to more completely heal.

"No, not at all. I hated the images and they made it harder to reach any satisfaction, but I needed to cry, I needed that emotional build to reach release." Maeve asserted. "Thankfully, I have lived a relatively charmed life and have not suffered that kind of trauma or loss."

"Good, that makes it easier to help you with this. If we had to unpack past trauma at that level, we would need to really delve into what has impacted your psyche so deeply. I believe your condition is simply a miswiring of some emotional triggers, and that perhaps with time you can find that joy too will be sufficient. But not everyone works the same way, so it's nothing to be ashamed of. And it doesn't seem to be hurting anyone."

"Well, I'm not exactly sure on that, but I'll continue and you can let me know I guess." Maeve seemed to have reached a comfort level with the doctor and was easily sharing her deepest thoughts.

"Good, I'm glad you feel you can open up about these things here. You have nothing to worry about or fear, so yes, please continue." The doctor reassured Maeve some more, hoping she would continue her very open dialog.

"Thank you, I appreciate that. So, here's where it probably gets weird. After a while I wasn't really happy with the movies and other sad things, so I decided I needed to find something more consistent and immersive. I started looking in the obituaries for local funerals and visiting hours at funeral homes. At first, I would stop by once or twice a month when I really needed the release. I would sit in the back, and her people crying. I would reach a quick orgasm and then leave. It felt weird, but since I was just crying, no one really thought anything about it." Maeve started to get into her crying obsession a bit more and the doctor wondered just how far had taken things.

"I see, well, again, you were in some waying paying your respects. I guess celebrating the sorrow for the deceased by raising up their spirit on the back of a wild orgasm isn't a bad thing." Dr. N joked a bit, bordering on the macabre, but it seemed Maeve was receptive to some dark humor and chuckled.

"Yeah, I guess. When you put it that way." Maeve started again, still slightly chuckling, but with a hint of building sadness as if she were turning the happy exchange to sadness in order to reach another orgasm. "That continued for a little while, but then I needed a little more emotion and started attending any of the open funerals that were listed, always staying near the back like the locals who seem to attend every funeral but don't really know the deceased."

"At any time did your behavior cross a line where you were disrespectful of the family or the ceremony such that the experience was ruined for the attendees or lessened in any way?" Dr. N was curious whether Maeve had any reason to feel ashamed yet, other than the undeserved judgment of the self-righteous others who judge everyone.

"No, I think I kept my composure enough that it did just look like I was emotional. I never dressed inappropriately or caused a scene. Well, until that one time, but we'll get there next." Maeve was leaving all sorts of tidbits that the doctor wanted to explore now, but she would have to wait fir Maeve to share at her own pace. But the pace was causing both Amanda and Dr. N to start to build their own need for release.

"Good, then so far I think you have nothing to feel ashamed of. Please continue if you want." Dr. N was trying to keep reassuring Maeve that things were still okay, but was dying to find out what happened next.

"Again, thank you, that means a lot to hear anybody tell me that." Maeve blushed a bit, which was odd given the context, and even cuter in a way across her tear-stained cheeks. "My off experience came a few weeks later when I happened, quite accidentally, to attend a funeral for one side of a family then a wedding for the other. Given that the names were of course different I didn't realize it until I got to the wedding ceremony and started to recognize faces from the previous week."

"Wait, so you started attending weddings as well. Right, tears of joy, that makes sense. I would definitely suggest trying to find more happy tears for your condition. It's probably healthier in the long run, but either way is fine as long as you don't take things too far." Dr. N was surprised to hear she had attended a wedding for the same reason. But she thought it made sense. A cute, blushing bride, in a sexy wedding dress, some hot bridesmaids, other young friends and family all dressed nicely, and tears. What could be better? she thought to herself.

"Yes, oh yes, I started looking at weddings. All the fancy dresses and the hot women in the wedding party. Oh, I was literally in heaven. That was until a woman recognized me from the funeral and was confused as to why I was at both as she didn't seem to know me from anywhere. I told her I was an old friend of a friend and she initially took that as enough of an explanation." Maeve seemed a bit nervous at this point.

"Relax, everything is still fine. You are reliving a traumatic experience, but it is in the past. Just take your time and continue when you feel comfortable." Dr. N, in her always reassuring tone, tried to help Maeve relax and understand that she was safe with them.

As it turned out it wasn't entirely nervousness as much as it was anxiety and anticipation as Maeve was getting to her favorite part of the story. "Wait, there's a good part coming up that I think we'll all enjoy" Maeve was having fun telling her story now, among some people who seemed to care. "So, as the ceremony progressed, we go to the vows and all the emotional parts and random family started crying, and I was getting worked up myself. I had the hymnal between my legs, rubbing against it, probably rocking a little more than usual. I heard a soft sob and a voice call out to me and when I looked it was the woman from earlier. She was dabbing her eyes as she cried. Then she said that she usually found it easier to follow along with the music when she had the hymnal out and open to the pages and not crammed between her legs like I did."

"You must have been mortified, being found out like that." Dr. N was concerned now, but she had said the good part was coming up, so she was still hopeful.

"No, well a little, at first, but then she confided in me. She opened her hand to reveal a small pink remote of some kind and told me she wore her own vibrator when she attended these so she didn't have to look awkward. She was there for the tears as well. Then she introduced herself as Jill and laid her hand across my thigh and it sent a shiver through my entire body almost sending me over the edge. She admitted that she didn't know anyone either and asked if I wanted to get together sometime. So, I said yes, leaned into her and planted a big kiss on her lips and said how about now?" Maeve paused a bit to catch her breath. "We then headed to a remote area of the church, it might have been a confessional, I wasn't sure what kind of church it was to be honest, and we fucked ourselves silly. I have no idea what went on in the church after that or if anyone knew we were in there or not, and we didn't really care. We've been dating ever since."

That's terrific! I mean the sex in the church sounds hot, but be careful with that, you know how those people are." Dr. N was thrilled to hear about a happy ending for her and hoped that talking about it helped her accept it for what it was.

"Thank you. You don't know how much this means to me to be able to share this and just let it all out. I was thinking I was going to need to go to confession myself, but then thought better of that." Maeve chuckled a bit and so did Amanda and Dr. N.

"I'm pretty sure that isn't really good for anything anyway." Amanda shared. "Too many people think that they can just say a few words and become saints. They never bother changing their behavior after it though.

"True, Amanda, very insightful of you. Sounds like something you might have some experience with." Dr. N offered. Amanda just smiled a knowing smile back at her.

Maeve pulled herself together enough to get going, grabbing the spare box of tissues for the afternoon, just in case there were any good funerals coming up. She and Jill had been in a dry spell and they were looking for some good weekend plans.

"That was a different one." Amanda said, shaking her head a little, still confused by where that would come from.

"It was, refreshing though from all the other ones out there." Dr. N. responded smiling at Amanda, still a bit aroused from the session.

"Maybe we could crash some wedding this weekend and fuck in the pews, just for fun." Amanda suggested, that look of mischief in her eyes.

"I've always been more of a funeral person myself. Plus, it's much more of a commitment than matrimony is. Very few people change their minds after they're dead." They both laughed at that as they walked toward each other. It had been a very emotional day, and they embraced as much for comfort as for their mutual desire. Since they were done with appointments for the day, their lingering kiss wandered farther into their usual escapades as they closed out another successful day of their therapy partnership.