A Fertile Opportunity

"Oh shit..." The woman at least had the good grace to look sympathetic. "Well if you're looking for a volunteer I know a guy who's really good at-"

"Seriously? Zehra? Again?"

Alexa almost fell out of her seat when she realised that Dr Leona Hunt - OBGYN - had calmly walked the short distance from the clinic door beside the reception desk to stand just behind the seat she (Alexa) was perched upon without being noticed by either Alexa or this other woman (who's name was apparently Zehra, making Alexa's guess at her heritage somewhat correct: she was Turkish, apparently). The sudden appearance of the good doctor was made more dramatic by Dr Hunt's exceptional height - some six feet and six inches - and decision to style her long red hair in an elaborate looping cascade held in place by several long instruments that were either chopsticks or thin drumsticks (Alexa knew that Leona was both a drummer and an enthusiast of Japanese cuisine).

(Leona Hunt is also the owner of the badly parked Ford that Theo had to navigate. This is not at all relevant to the plot.)

Zehra smiled with embarrassment: "I'm sorry, but... it just feels GOOD..." Clearly descending into embarrassment, the tanned brunette turned to the handsome receptionist who had given Alexa good eye-fucking on the way in. "Zack, help me out here!"

Zack, who Alexa reckoned couldn't be older than twenty, shrugged as he faced his boss. "Can't say she's wrong. It feels good." A smirk blossomed on his face. "Really good! You know what I'm talking about right?"

Leona gave Alexa a look of mild despair. "And this is why I have a tonne of unboxed condoms out back that I can't even give away for free in this city," she sighed.

"Have you used any for yourself, boss?" Zack asked, smirking as he obviously knew what her answer would be.

Leona made to answer - an honest answer, judging by her expression - then paused, and, as a wicked smile crept over her face, she looked at her receptionist and said "none are in my size."

Zack's eyebrows shot up. Alexa had to stifle a laugh. Zahra looked like someone who had just realised, and was now regarding Leona with the expression of someone wondering how they had not noticed before. To be fair, and in the good doctor's defence, Leona had never tried to hide the fact she was trans (why would she?), it was just that Leona Hunt was an incredibly attractive woman; taller than most men, with a body with curves Alexa would kill for, a tall, shapely face and some God-tier makeup skills, and tits that (while also fake) struggled to be held back by any outfit she chose to wear; even now they strained the white shirt she wore while working at the practice.

Leona also had a foot-long cock. Not hyperbole, either: Alexa and the girls had measured it at the nightclub one night after they closed, and they were all quite drunk after celebrating a great evening hosting one of Eroshire's home-grown rock bands, Marathon Sex Bunnies (an all-female crew; two leader guitarists, a bassist, drummer, and two vocalists with wildly different vocals). Over twelve inches, fully erect; and when asked why Leona had never had bottom surgery she'd smile and say 'I like my cock. Who wouldn't?'

Who wouldn't indeed? Only shame, as far as Alexa was concerned, was that Leona was straight as fuck: no interest in women at all. Some of Leona's sexual partners included men that Alexa would never have guessed to be down to fuck a woman with a bigger than theirs.

Including one Theodore Miller, would you believe?

"OK, let us give you a look, Mrs Matthews-Kent," Leona said, returning to professional doctor mode after that brief boast about her cock size. As Alexa stood up, Leona pointed viciously at Zehra. "We need to have words, Miss Sydin, about the consequences of your actions."

Zehra appeared nonplussed about said consequences; Alexa was sure the woman was recalling said consequence's initiating actions, judging from the sly smile on her full lips, as Alexa and the good doctor left the waiting room for the privacy of Leon's clinic. Alexa found herself feeling just a little jealous of this stranger and her apparently sordid sex life; it reminded her of pre-Mark, a time full of 'consequences' and drugs to deal with them.

Now here she was TRYING to get pregnant. Oh, the irony!

"Nice to see you again Leona," Alexa said.

"Likewise," Leona said, calmer now.

"Just you today?"

"Yes, Yusuf's meeting with his lawyers. Don't ask."

Alexa was glad: Dr Khan was a nice enough bloke, but he had a manner which made sessions with him somewhat uncomfortable, and it was her discomfort with Khan's clinical approach to her vagina (he seemed to regard and treat it as an alien organ, to the point that Alexa had been genuinely surprised to find out that not only was Yusuf Khan married, but had two children!) that forced Alexa to request a transfer to Dr Hunt's patient list. It had been a great decision, and outside the practice Alexa and Leona had become fast friends and had frequently hit up the bars together, before Alexa decided to bunker down and get pregnant with the hubby.

"Sure it's his lawyers?" Alexa asked, recalling tales of Dr Khan's wife's frequent trysts, as told to her by Theo. "I mean-"

Leona stifled a laugh. "Please, Yusuf couldn't cheat even if she accidentally fell on his erect dick," she said, "and that's if she found it first." Opening the door to her own office she motioned for Alexa to walk through. "The man only landed a wife because his parent's arranged it."

"Harsh," Alexa said. But true, from what she had heard and noticed in Yusuf Khan. The man was absolutely useless around women; how he'd made so much money running a private clinic like this one Alexa couldn't fathom, but word was Dr Hunt was the true brains behind the Health of Khan (she actually watched Star Trek: a big giveaway).

"You didn't hear any of that from me," Leona said, remembering her professionalism.

"How'd Dr Khan manage to father two kids?" Alexa persisted. "If he's so clueless..."

"Got more of a clue than Mark, apparently."

Settling back into the chair, Alexa gave her OBGYN a foul look. "That's a low blow..."

"That it is, I'm sorry," Leona said, settling into a chair and wheeling it over to position her in front of her patient, pulling thick blue plastic gloves over her slender fingers. "I'm sure all of his little swimmers are aquatic Olympians. Now let's get you out of those jeans and take a look at your baby-maker-"

*****

The vast offices for Hills & Follett were located almost right at the beating heart of Coytoss, deep in its financial district; a bustling collection of modest skyscrapers (modest in the sense that none of them approached the size of the ones you would find in an American city) around which crowds of smartly suited people milled around pop-up coffee vans chatting business and flirting; for even smartly suited business people were down to fuck. The building housing the Hills & Follett offices was fifty storeys, capped by a strange art deco that was often described as a giant metal spiked dildo. Whatever the architect's original design was supposed to be, Theo had to agree with general consensus, and the sight of it always brought a smile to his face whenever he walked towards the building from the station nearby.

Mark and he got off the elevator on the thirty-third floor; a large open space populated by the kind of desks designed so that everyone could always see everything you were doing, whatever you were doing. So no porn during office hours. Unless everyone was cool with your tastes.

Today Eric Winters had something to show them, and after calling Mark and Theo over to his desk clicked over to a picture of himself and two incredibly hot blondes either side of him, at a nightclub that looked vaguely familiar to Theo. Was that Alexa's place?

"You lucky sod," Mark said, leaning forward over his co-worker's shoulder to stare at the matte flat screen monitor and the image now taking up most of Eric Winters's desktop, obscuring what were probably very important legal documents that Eric was supposed to be vetting. "Twins?"

"Which one?" Theo asked. He stood beside Mark on the other side of the seated Eric.

Eric half turned to regard them both with a triumphant smile. "Both."

"Fuck me..." Theo muttered.

"Let me take a rain check on that one, mate," Eric said, displaying a similar sense of humour to his sister, whom Theo was having regular and very acrobatic sex with lately. "I've got my hands more than full keeping these two nymphos satisfied."

"It's a hard life you live, Eric," Mark said sardonically.

"Definitely 'hard'," Eric said, grinning. Again reminding Theo of his sister, which was giving him some interesting thoughts. Sure, Eric Winters was an incredibly handsome guy, tall at 6' 4", with a muscular frame, strong facial features, and skin that refused to tan; giving him the look of someone who had just stepped out of The Sandman; but Theo didn't swing both ways. (Yet.)

"Jesus Christ, what have I walked into?"

Theo gave his ex a unique smile he had tailored just for her, and to his delight Syeda Khan was good enough to give him the finger as she walked up to the three of them. A gorgeous product of a stunning Pakistani lineage (on her mother's side, at least. Her father was a fat slob), Syeda had been Theo's girlfriend for a while, until discovering that he had been seeing other women on the side, including her mother. Since then Syeda had decided the best form of revenge against her ex boyfriend was to fuck as many guys around the office as she could, and rub it in Theo's face how much better at sex they were than him (which Theo highly doubted.)

Honestly it was the best result he could have hoped for: the experience had only shaped Syeda into an incredible fuck machine on par with her mother (who regularly almost broke Theo each time they hooked up), and the first time Theo and Syeda had sex after breaking up (in the store cupboard on the twenty-fourth floor, as they were looking for some documents for a case) had been an epic two hour display of lusty hate-sex that had seen both of them covered in their fluids and gagging for more; and they had. More. Lots more.

"Hey Sy," Theo said, giving her a wink that he knew irritated the fuck out of her, and made her horny as fuck at the same time. "How's the case going?"

"Better than yours, fucknuts," Syeda snapped, angling her body to give him a great profile of her stunning brown rack, held poorly by the shirt she was wearing. She knew how to press those buttons to get Theo nice and hard in his custom-fitted trousers.

"Jesus you two," Eric said, looking from one to the other. "I swear you're both worse since you broke up."

"Oh God yes," Syeda said honestly; she and Eric got on well and rarely hid anything from each other. "The sex is SO much better. We should have broken up ages ago."

"You've definitely improved," Theo teased; "you're almost as good as your mum now-"

"You fucking-"

"And for one brief, glorious moment, the conversation was about MY sex life..." Eric muttered, returning to his normal hunched form as he switched his desktop over to one of the many files he had open and was consulting with professional boredom.

"Dude: twins," Theo said. "Don't fucking milk it. We're all VERY impressed."

"What are we impressed about?"

Mark, Theo and Syeda immediately stood straighter, stopped leaning against tables, and made an effort to look like employees of a professional, respected UK law firm as their immediate boss Ewa Kowalska approached.

Tall, but not too tall (5' 11"), Ewa still somehow managed to dominate any room she walked in, by virtue of being possibly one of the most beautiful woman that Theo knew, and he was always in the presence of stunning female creatures (there were, oddly enough, lots of hot women in the city). Born in Poland, Ewa had moved to the UK quite young, but not young enough to have lost the heavy accent, she wore her long dark brown hair in a professional bun behind her head, and her professional suit still somehow managed to expose a respectable amount of her large breasts whose skin was flawless tanned brown; Ewa tanned remarkably easily, and kept it for weeks.

Her dark brown eyes regarded each of them in turn, with that bemused look all bosses have for underlings that they know they've caught skiving off work. "So what are we impressed about?"

"Eric's in a polyamorous relationship with twins," Theo said, unafraid of Ewa and ratting out his colleagues. He was a bit of a shit like that.

Ewa blinked. Hands on hips she looked down at Eric. "Twins?"

"Twins, boss," Eric said, calmly paging through the huge document he knew she had asked to be checked before being handed over to the court next week.

Ewa looked at Theo, then Mark, then Syeda. "And what have you three done with yourselves?"

"Are you asking about our sex lives?" Syeda asked. Slowly. Carefully. Like someone who knew that her question was fucking stupid and about to land herself in a whole lot of trouble, but who had to ask it anyway for comedic effect.

"No, I'm asking about Jones, Matheson, and Grace v. Hussain," Ewa said. "Get back to work; I don't give a shit about your sex lives providing it doesn't interfere with your work, and what is it currently doing?"

Syeda was about to answer, before Theo leaned over and said "I believe that was a rhetorical question."

"Ah... I'll get right on it, Ewa," Syeda said, scurrying off with the look of someone chastised.

Mark and Theo were about to follow, remembering that they were lawyers at a prestigious firm in the fourth largest city in the UK and not university students who had time to discuss who was fucking who these days, when Ewa held out both hands to halt their path past her. "Not you two; my office. Now."

Without further clarification she turned around and strode off, leaving Mark and Theo to give each other the same confused look.

"Uh oh, sounds like someone's in trouble," Eric said. Typing away and not looking at either of the other men.

"Fucking twins," Theo muttered, jealous.

*****

"-and you're fine," Leona said, pulling the plastic gloves off and tossing them into a sanitary waste bin. "As you were last time, and the time before that..." Turning to face Alexa as the other woman stood from the chair and began putting her jeans back on, Leona added "Alex, if you just want me to shove things in your vagina you could just ask; I have better things to shove up there than this shit," she said, holding up one of the long, cold instruments she had been using.

Alexa paused, her heart suddenly beating fast. Was Leona actually-

"I'm fucking with you," Leona said, smirking cruelly. "Although if you did want me to re-insert your IUD-"

"What? The same one?" Alexa said, imagining Leona keeping the small coil in a glass jar in one of her many cupboards.

"Don't be silly. That's horribly unsanitary." Leona said, then sighed. "I'd much rather be giving you a pregnancy check-up. Are you certain Mark's shooting active swimmers?"

"That's what he tells me," Alexa said, then she too sighed theatrically. "Maybe my womb hates his cum."

"It's possible, the body sometimes does what we don't want it to."

"Any solution to that?"

"Just keep trying," Leona said, sadly. "If it's meant to be, it'll happen."

"That's all well and good, but I think it's driving Mark insane."

"Guys have a thing about being fertile," Leona said. "Never understood it, even when I thought I was a guy."

"It's not just guys, women don't like being unable to conceive either."

"Getting you down?"

"Me? No I'm fine," Alexa said, and that was true enough: she was so-so about being a parent. It was Mark who was desperate to have a family, and it was annoying her she wasn't helping. "Just want Mark to be happy."

"How about adopting?"

"He wants a kid of his own."

"And we come back to guys worrying about their cum," Leona said. "Just keep trying. All I can really say, I'm afraid. See you next month?"

"Probably," Alexa sighed.

With one final smile to her dear doctor, Alexa left the clinic behind her. She had a lunch date with her brother, and while she was hopeful for something to distract her from the temptation of Theo, Zack, and all the hot guys in her life who she wasn't currently married to, Alexa knew her dear brother Kyle would be no help whatsoever...

*****

Theo looked at Mark, and seeing the same surprise on his friend's face looked back at Ewa; his boss was sitting on the other side of her huge, polished oak wood desk, back to the glorious view of the Coytoss financial district, with a large grin on her face.

"I... wait... really? Us?"

Ewa shrugged. "You have both consistently been my best," she said. "I figured why not? Unless you two have more important things to do?"

"What? No! Not at all!" Mark said, waving his hands frantically in the manner of one trying to ward off the incorrect impression.

"I mean I understand this is VERY late notice," Ewa continued. "If you've already made plans with your wife, Mark, or Theo with... whichever lucky lady you're currently emptying your balls into-"

"Delightfully put," Theo said sardonically.

Ewa winked at him. "My point stands, though. I know this is late notice, gentlemen, but if you could both make an attendance tomorrow evening it would mean the world to me."

"You just want to show us off to the mayor and everyone," Theo said. His smile told her that he had absolutely no objection to being shown off like a prized puppy.

"I do," Ewa said. "I want to wrap you both with a pretty pink bow and hold you up for everyone to admire."

"We would be honoured to be wrapped in a bow for you," Mark said sarcastically.

"I'm so glad," Ewa said. Clasping her hands together in a rather girlish way. "So? I'll see both of you tomorrow at seven? Wear your best, please. Nothing scruffy. And Theo? Please shave."

Rubbing his chin, where a carefully groomed five o'clock shady decorated his jawline, Theo noticed Mark's pensive look as the two left Ewa's office. "What is the problem?" He asked.

"I might have lied back there," Mark said. "Tomorrow Alexa and I have... erm... plans..."

"Dinner? Date night? Netflix and chill?"

"The latter," Mark said. Rubbing the back of his neck in the manner of someone who really did not want to be talking about this, but Theo was a good friend and deserved nothing but the truth from Mark. "Tomorrow is the last day of peak fertility for her, so we... erm..."

"Wanted to spend the evening fucking like rabbits?" Theo nodded sagely. "No harm done: you can always squeeze a quickie in before you head out, and maybe another one at the gala?"

"I'm not having sex at the Grand Coy Hotel!" Mark said, smiling despite his outrage.

"Why not? I plan to."

Mark could only shake his head at his friend's life.

*****

Tinto Square had been built several decades ago when Coytoss had been a much smaller city with far fewer coffee shops. In the years since economic expansion and caffeine addiction had seen its brass-coloured tiles overrun by outside seating areas for competing chains of cafes and restaurants. And coffee shops. Many, many coffee shops. You had your big chains, like Starbucks and Costa, and your smaller, independent affairs ran by pot-smoking zoomers fresh out of uni, with a strong belief in entrepreneurism and the power of free trade and vegan-friendly coffee.

In the centre of the square was a large cordoned off area where the city council had set up seats around several dozen parasols. This was neutral ground between the competing coffee shops, and it was here Alexa found her brother; Kyle was leaning back in his seat, chatting up the group of attractive women seated on the table next to his. Seeing her approach he settled straight in his chair and gave her that smug smile of his: the one that told her he was up to no good.