All Comments on 'A Hand Overplayed Ch. 04'

The irony hasn’t escaped me. He has no respect for her because she’s a thief, yet he steals and sells women.

Well written and entertaining but she has given up he fight too quickly for me. Obedient cocksucker in a day ?

"Until of course they would exit into the service of his employers for a handsome salary, and an even more handsome fee for Lance, they were so happy with his results they gave him the money to purchase this very house and dungeon as a bonus."

Brittany might not have any redeeming qualities vis a vis larceny but Lance's is the worse crime (human trafficking). The "predator captures woman as sex slave" works well enough as sexual fantasy, but Lance's justification for his actions is just plain hypocrisy.

I appreciate the constructive criticism, this story kind of evolved out of a short into a series and as a result ended up with some disjointed stuff plot wise. A lot of people have been supportive and tell me the series is still very entertaining, but the negative feedback I have gotten has all involved the issues with the plot like you guys have pointed out. I've definitely learned my lesson about writing characters (and myself by extension) into a corner and relying too heavily on the "fantasy" aspect of erotica to cover obvious oversights. I've kind of crossed the Rubicon with where I'm at though (story is written and posted up to chapter 6 which means it's halfway finished lol). Certain plot oversights are simply passed the point of correction, so I feel like the best thing I can do as a writer is just stick to the script and land the plane. If it doesn't work out in the end that's okay, I'm 200% better an author than I was before I started this series and anticipate I will be 200% better than I am now by the time it's over. I will definitely keep the lessons and feedback I've gotten in mind from this for any longer narratives I brainstorm in the future. Thanks again for reading my story and taking the time to comment =)

Totally get where you are coming from Remington. Bit late to rewrite it all now lol. Still enjoying the story as it is well written and I shall just put on my suspend disbelief hat, sit back and enjoy the read.

You could always twist it so he relaxes his guard and she tops him :-)))

Obviously you can’t change what’s already written but it doesn’t mean that you can’t change the last 6 chapters?

I agree with the other comments, she’s led the leech lifestyle, she’s the kind of woman who gives all women a bad name. Ironically much of it comes from the male centric society. Women have essentially been demonised for thousands of years, in western society stemming from Christian beliefs; Adam, Eve and that fucking apple. Prostitution the ‘oldest profession’ yeah sure but if there wasn’t a demand for whores it would never have happened.

On the other hand he’s much worse than she’s ever been, she’s taken money people can always rebuild from financial loss. He’s making slaves and twisting their minds to make them like it. The only way out of that for the vast majority is death.

Not all women are natural pain sluts, some erotic pain sure. There’s nothing wrong with being a pain slut if you genuinely enjoy it but he’s twisting minds and is guilty of conspiring to remove their freedom and choices.

Is there any reason why he can’t evolve into a Dom and they develop feelings for each other. They could probably barter for their freedom from law enforcement by selling out the other traffickers??