A Hillsman Remembers

This story, as are all my stories, is fictional and in a parallel universe, which is very similar to ours. Possibly where CEOs and politicians do the right things for the people rather than for money and votes.

The protagonist is Joe Christianson, who I first wrote about in the Not in Love series. However, it isn't necessary to read that series before reading this story.

Please comment on my stories, I enjoy the comments very much and it encourages me to write more.

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Joe Christianson didn't know why he lived so long. He did know that he was about 135 years old and all his friends were dead. He kept to himself: no friends, no lovers, just enough acquaintances to do business and survive. The breasts that Joe had grown -- when he lived with Lucy and Lucy's mother, Jenny -- had atrophied.

At first, Joe travelled around Australia in his fully electric motorhome, promoting his E-trip: an electric, three-wheeled, vehicle that was becoming very popular. He became a multi-millionaire due to the E-trip sales. His employees and clients thought that he was a distant nephew of the founder of the E-trip company. He just so happened to have the same name and he inherited his uncle's company.

Joe found it difficult to obtain legal documents and passports because of the age recorded on his birth certificate. He managed to convince the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages that a mistake had been made: did he look like he was over a hundred years old?

Joe bought himself a Siris 34, a ten metre sloop, and travelled around the world looking for answers to his longevity. He would usually sail to a continent or country and then travel by public transport around the countries, sightseeing and searching for answers. He travelled light: a backpack containing his computer and satellite phone -- to remotely look after his business -- a couple of changes of clothes and a bit of emergency food.

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Joe was in an ancient city somewhere in Europe. Somehow, he knew that the city would have been easy to defend: the walls were thick, there was a moat, a low wall protecting the wooden gate from battering rams, murder-holes over the entry, et cetera.

Joe was browsing in the market. He noticed, at a distance, a young girl who kept smiling and looking at him but he carried on browsing. He had bought some fruit for dinner and was about to look for accommodation. He was walking further into the city and noticed that the alleys were also suitable killing fields: there was no access from the alleys into the adjacent homes and the two-story, flat-roofed buildings were perfect for archers to kill those in the alley. He didn't know why he noticed these things.

Joe was walking along one alley when he heard "Hillsman."

Joe turned to see the young girl that had been looking at him in the market. She had her hand out towards him. He was shocked: this girl, maybe ten to twelve years old, was so confident, yet he could have easily harmed her in this isolated alley. He questioned "Hillsman?" but it could have been mistaken as a reply.

The young girl smiled broadly, grabbed Joe's forearm and said "Sarah Matthew."

Joe assumed that was the girl's name and automatically replied "Joe Christianson."

Sarah looked shocked. She let go of Joe's arm, stepped backwards and said "General Joe Christianson?"

Joe was concerned for Sarah. He moved towards her and asked "Are you okay?"

"Please, Don't touch me." yelled Sarah. She then calmed herself and said "Sorry, I've heard about your hugs. I'm twelve years old. I don't think that I'm ready for hugs like that. Maybe in another ten years time, but not now."

Joe was intrigued. At first he thought that Sarah had mistaken him for someone else, but she knew about his hugs, so maybe she did know who he was. He said "I wouldn't hurt you."

Sarah laughed and said "I know that. 'Hillsman harms no Hillsman.' You invented that."

Sarah looked around and said "Wait... This is a test isn't it?"

Joe looked around the vacant alley and said "Not to my knowledge."

Sarah asked "Are you really General Joe?"

Joe smiled and said "I'm not a General." thinking that it was still a case of mistaken identity.

"No. Not now..." said Sarah." Of course you're General Joe. No Hillsman would use General Joe's name."

Joe was now confused. Sarah thought that he was a famous general. He tried to assess the situation.

"Are you going to the mountain?" asked Sarah, as she indicated in the direction of the mountain that Joe had noticed as he walked towards the city.

Joe looked in the indicated direction. He couldn't see the mountain and said "Um..."

"Of course you are. How silly if me." said Sarah "No Hillsman would stay in the city when they could go to the mountain.

"May I escort you there?" asked Sarah. "I mean, not as an escort but... Oh I'm not making sense... Me meeting General Joe... Wow... May I go with you up to the mounting stronghold?"

Joe was still a bit shocked and said "Okay."

"Great!" said Sarah excitedly. "Can we go now? I came her to buy some spices for dinner and I promised mum that I'd be home before dark... Well... mostly before dark."

"Okay." said Joe, still a little befuddled in the brain. "Lead the way."

Sarah turned and briskly walked towards the city gate, Joe followed. Sarah set a good pace, talking all the time. They left the city and walked along the road beside the river on their right. After about 800 metres, Sarah looked behind her and said "Do you mind if we pick up the pace? I should get home before dark."

"Okay." answered Joe and Sarah started to run.

Joe had always been good at long-distance running but he was surprised at Sarah's pace and endurance. She also kept talking as she was running. They crossed a bridge and ran into a pine-forest.

Joe stopped and asked "Are you sure this is okay?"

"Yes of course." answered Sarah. "I've been this way plenty of times."

"I mean... you're young and I'm a stranger..." said Joe.

Sarah laughed and said "You're no stranger to me. I did an assignment about you for school."

Joe followed Sarah through the forest. He was impressed with her confidence. They came to a cliff on their right and kept running. Soon, they were on a path next to the cliff, which then became a ramp, following the cliff-face. A parapet appeared on the edge of the ramp as they ascended.

Sarah stopped near the top of the ramp and said "I've got to look cool. It's not every day that I get to lead General Joe onto the Hillsman stronghold. Do I look cool?"

Joe smiled and said "Like ice, Sarah."

Sarah giggled and strolled up the ramp. There were a few people milling around, doing whatever their routine required. Sarah said "There's Wilma." Sarah turned towards Joe and said "She's not my opponent, but she could be if she wanted to."

Joe broadly smiled, laughed and said so that Wilma could hear "I totally agree with you Sarah. I've also been in the same situation."

Sarah frowned at Joe, realised what he was doing and said "Yes General Joe. It's something that we must overcome."

"Exactly." said Joe, with a huge smile, and they walked past Wilma.

Sarah was smiling and Joe was happy that he'd somehow improved Sarah's reputation. She whispered "That's Henry. I like him, but let's keep going. We're going to see the council, aren't we?"

Joe wasn't sure where he was going but he didn't want to embarrass Sarah so he said, just loud enough for Henry to hear, "That's a great suggestion Sarah. I'm so lucky to have met you. Please, lead the way."

Henry called out "Hey Sarah, you want to play?"

"No thanks Henry. I've got to take General Joe to see the council."

Sarah smiled, kept walking and said "It's this way General Joe."

Joe surreptitiously looked at Henry who looked impressed. He told Sarah and she smiled but kept walking without looking back.

Sarah asked "Are you here for a campaign or information?"

"Information." answered Joe and was hoping that any information would be good.

Sarah stopped at the entry to a big hall carved into the rock-face. She took a big breath and said "Ready?"

"I hope so." answered Joe with a smile.

Sarah giggled and said "It's true what they say about you. You make everyone you meet feel comfortable."

"Let's hope that's the same with the council." said Joe and Sarah laughed.

Sarah said "Will you come and have dinner with me and my family?"

"Oh, um, I'm not sure." answered Joe.

Sarah looked disappointed and said "Okay."

Joe felt sorry for Sarah and said "I could be here for a long time."

Sarah cheered up and said "Well you've got to eat. They'll be lots of food and if you arrive late there'll still be plenty for you to eat."

"Okay." answered Joe "If it's not too late."

They entered the hall and Joe saw five people sitting behind a long desk. An old man said "Sarah Matthew."

Sarah said "Councillors, may I present to you General Joe Christianson. Joe, please meet Councillors Peter, Tracy, Jordan, Stephanie and Mary." and indicated each councillor along the table.

"How do you do." said Joe, not knowing the correct procedure to address the Hillsman council.

"Thank you Sarah." said Councillor Peter.

Sarah turned to go but before she left she said "See you at dinner, Joe?"

"How will I find where you live?" asked Joe.

"Just ask anyone." said Sarah and left.

Joe faced the councillors. Peter said "General Joe, how may we help you?"

Joe was intrigued, Peter knew who he was, or at least, who General Joe was and may be able to give him some information. He answered "I'd like some information, if I may?"

"Of course," answered Peter "but first, may we read you to confirm who you are?"

"Um... of course." answered Joe, not knowing what 'read' him meant.

"Please state your name." said Peter.

"My name's is Joe Christianson." answered Joe.

The councillors conferred and then Peter said "Thank you. What information do you require."

Joe wasn't sure what he should ask, so he started with "I'm a Hillsman?"

"Yes. A very famous Hillsman." answered Peter with a smile.

Mary quietly coughed but Peter ignored her. Joe thought that Mary was shy. She was also the only person with a computer in front of her.

Joe dove in with his next question "Do all Hillsmen live a long time?"

"Hillsmans," said Peter "and yes we live about 400 years."

"Hillsmans?" asked Joe.

"Managers of the hills." answered Tracy, who was sitting next to Peter. "It's an ancient term. It sounds silly now, but the term has stuck and we're used to it."

"I see." said Joe. This was fantastic news. He'd found others who lived long lives, just like he did. He then asked "So I calculate that I have about another two hundred and seventy years to live."

Peter laughed and said "A lot more than that."

"Peter!" interrupted Mary. "There's restricted information."

"Oh dear." said Peter, as he pressed his hand to his brow. "I've messed up, haven't I. I'm too old for this. I hereby resign as councillor."

Joe realised that Peter was the only old person that he'd seen in the Hillsman stronghold. Besides the children, everyone, except Peter, looked to be in their mid twenties.

Tracy said "You can't Peter. We don't have a replacement."

Peter looked at Joe and asked "Would you like to be councillor again? We could do with a strategist."

"PETER!" yelled Mary.

"Oh dear." said Peter. "I... I hereby resign as chair. I... I nominate Tracy to be the chair. Does anyone second my nomination?"

"I second Tracy's nomination as chair." said Mary.

"All those in favour of Tracy being chair say aye." said Peter.

All the councillors, except Tracy, said "Aye."

"All those against say nay." said Peter. There was silence. "I hereby pass the chair to Tracy. Please record the decision in the minutes, Mary."

Peter stood up to change places with Tracy but Tracy said "Please remain seated Peter. We can sort that out tomorrow."

Joe realised that the seating order meant something.

Tracy said "Right... Um... Thank you Peter... Thank you all for your vote of confidence. Um... I'd like to thank Peter for his years of dedication as councillor. We'll seek interests as a councillor in the coming days.

"Mary, please notify us if we are entering restricted information during our discussion with Joe."

"Yes." answered Mary.

"Restricted?" asked Joe.

"Yes." answered Mary.

"Restricted my whom?" asked Joe, suspiciously.

"Um... By um... A higher authority." answered Mary.

"Well I'd like to speak to this higher authority." said Joe, annoyed that information about him was not available to him.

"Um..." said Mary, apparently intimidated.

"Joe--" said Tracy.

"I think I have a right to information about me." said Joe, more annoyed. "Who's this person, or entity, that has a right to decide on what information I can have about me?"

There was silence. Joe realised that the councillors were bracing themselves. They looked afraid. They seemed to fear him. Joe calmed himself and said. "I'm sorry. I'd just like to know who is this higher authority."

Tracy looked at Mary who seemed to sink further into her seat. Tracy took a big breath, braced herself and said "You, Joe."

"What?" asked Joe.

"I believe that you are the higher authority." said Tracy. "Is that right Mary?"

"Yes." answered Mary, meekly.

"No one else could restrict that information." said Tracy.

"I... I said that I... shouldn't know information about me?" asked Joe. "But why?"

Joe looked at Mary. Mary shrugged her shoulders and said "It's restricted."

Joe thought for a while and then said "I must have done something terrible to... not... want me to know about it. Have killed people?"

Mary looked at her computer and said "Yes."

"I'm a murderer?" pondered Joe.

"No." said Tracy."You're not a murderer. You're a Hillsman. We're warriors. We only kill those trying to kill us or who have been sentenced to death."

Joe said "My first memory was when I was fifteen. What could I have possibly done at that age to warrant wanting to forget?

"Wait... Sarah called me General Joe. I don't remember being a general. Am I older than 135 years old?"

The councillors looked at Mary. Mary answered "Yes."

"But I was a skinny little runt." said Joe. "How could I be older?"

They looked at Mary and Mary said "You looked skinny because you had been on a hunger strike."

"Why?" asked Joe.

Mary shrugged her shoulders and said "Restricted."

Joe thought further and then said, "It's love... I've loved someone and wanted to forget them... That's it isn't it?"

Mary shrugged her shoulders and said "Restricted."

Peter giggled.

Joe looked at Peter so Peter said "I... Um... Apologise... But I can see why you've a reputation as a great strategist. You came to a conclusion so quickly. I don't know if it's the right conclusion but I'd still be wondering why. Um... sorry... I said I'd keep quiet."

Joe sat on the stone floor and tried to think of a different reason why the information would be restricted.

Tracy quietly said "Joe, it's getting late. Maybe you'd like to continue this tomorrow?"

Joe looked at Tracy. He did feel tired. He said "Is there some accommodation near here?"

"There's the tavern." answered Tracy. "I'll take you there if you like?"

"Thank you." said Joe.

Tracy then said "If there're no more issues to be discussed today, Mary, please note the closure of today's meeting.

"Peter, could you please sit in on the council meetings until we find a replacement councillor? We won't ask you do anything. It's just for the quorum."

"Not a problem." answered Peter with a smile. "I'd probably come here out of habit, anyway."

The other councillors smiled or laughed. Tracy stood and said "Good evening to you all.

"This way, Joe."

The other councillors said good night and Joe followed Tracy out of the hall.

On the way to the tavern Joe asked "Everyone, except Peter, look so young."

"Yes." answered Tracy, with a smile. "All Hillsman look to be in their mid twenties."

"What about Peter?" asked Joe.

Tracy stopped and said "Peter... is dying. He's contributed his remaining years to being a councillor."

"Dying of what?" asked Joe.

Tracy looked at Joe and answered "Old age."

"Oh... I see..." said Joe.

They entered the tavern and the publican asked "What can I do for you councillor?"

"Hello Seb. I'd like to book a room, please." answered Tracy.

"For one or two people?" asked Seb.

"One please." answered Tracy.

"Name and signature, please." said Seb, as he turned the register towards Joe.

Joe signed in and Seb looked at the register. He said "Hey, come on Tracy. I'm not falling for this one. What's your real name, matey?"

"Seb," said Tracy. "This is Joe Christianson and he'd like to keep his presence secret."

"Right!" said Seb. "As you wish. Welcome to the Hillsman Inn, Joe."

"Thank you, Seb." said Joe. "Tracy, may I shout you a drink? I'm sure that I need one."

Tracy looked at her watch and said "Not tonight thank you, Joe. Maybe another time."

"Sure." said Joe,

"I'll come to pick you up tomorrow at, say ten?" suggested Tracy.

"I'll look forward to it." asked Joe.

They said good night and parted. Seb showed Joe to his room and Joe returned to the bar for a drink. He sat next to a man and asked Seb what people usually drink. Seb suggested wine, spirits, beer or mead. Joe hadn't drunk mead before so he ordered himself a tankard of mead.

The man sitting next to Joe said "My wife likes mead."

"I'll see if I also like it." said Joe. "Cheers." and they tapped their tankards before drinking.

"I prefer beer." said the man. "My name's Pat. Short for Patrick."

"Joe." said Joe. "Short for Joe."

The man laughed and Joe joined in.

"Joe, hey?" asked the man.

"All my life." answered Joe.

They sat smiling, comfortable in each others presence as they sipped their drinks.

"You got kids, Joe?" asked Pat.

"No." answered Joe.

"Lucky you." said Pat.

"I assume you have children." said Joe.

"Yeah." answered Pat. "A daughter... Don't get me wrong. She's the apple of my eye..."

"But?" prompted Joe.

"She's at that... impressionable age, where she... Well... I think that she's started lying." said Pat.

"Surely not?" asked Joe.

"I know." said Pat. "Hillsman don't lie. But she's... get this. She says that General Joe is coming for dinner."

Joe almost choked on his drink. He was drinking with Sarah's father.

"I know." said Pat, apparently thinking that Joe thought the proposal was ridiculous. "As if General fucking Joe would have dinner with us, at the request of a twelve-year-old girl?"

"I imagine stranger things have happened." said Joe, having fun with the situation.

"Yeah." agreed Pat. "But hopefully not to me, or Sarah."

"So what do you know about... your expected visitor?"asked Joe, hoping that he'd find out more about himself.

Pat laughed and said "Well... General Joe's the most powerful, wealthiest and famous Hillsman in the world. How's that for a dinner guest?"

Joe laughed and then wondered was that really him? Was there another General Joe that he was accidentally impersonating? He pondered his situation as he sipped his mead.

"I'll tell you this, Joe." said Pat, as he drained his tankard. "I'd better get home for dinner because if Joe doesn't turn up, there'll be one disappointed daughter that I'll have to console."

Joe said "I'm sure it'll all turn out okay."

Pat said "I hope so." and left.

Joe finished his drink and stealthily followed Pat. He noted the location of Pat's home and went back to the tavern. He waited for fifteen minutes, bought a cask of beer and a cask of mead and returned to Pat's home, hoping that it was the same Sarah that he'd met at the city.

Joe knocked on Sarah's door. He heard her cry out "He's here!"