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*****
AUTHOR'S NOTES
Our nameless protagonist does not know how his power works other than it appears to be genetic and kicks in around puberty. He has had this power for a while now and through his investigations (aided by many who of course do not remember lending their expertise) he has some understanding of how it works but not why.
Our protagonist's abilities:
- allow control of a subject's motor functions, both voluntary (walking, moving head and arms, etc) and autonomic (breathing, heart beating, etc). He does not like to control autonomic functions however due to the high risk of killing the subject by for example forgetting to tell his heart to beat.
- control is executed through commands ('run', 'jump', 'pick up that object', etc). The subject's body seems to be able to work out the details as long as the command is not too vague (so 'hit that man' will work but not 'hit anyone who looks threatening').
- commands are transmitted mentally.
- He can read minds and memories, and can change the intensity of base emotions (fear, anger, lust, etc) but cannot create or change thoughts, switch a subject's emotions or affect complicated emotions (love, jealousy, etc).
- He can create visual, auditory and tactile illusions. These work as normal commands - he tells the subject what to see/hear/feel and the subject's mind works out the details provided the illusion is simple.
- commands can only be given to subjects in direct line of sight. Detection of other minds is possible through walls, etc up to a certain distance, but they cannot be altered unless our protagonist can see the person.
- Commands remain effective until removed by the protagonist, even if the subject is no longer in view.
- Commands can be made to only one subject at a time, but multiple subjects can be controlled by giving commands to one, then the next, then the next, etc.
- larger scale and/or simpler commands work better than fine detailed ones. The protagonist cannot change facial expressions, and attempts to force speech results in meaningless slurring.
The protagonist's only real fear is that someone like him will notice his ability and take it away from him. Consequently any potential activity is investigated and if another 'Talent' such as he is discovered he takes steps to neutralize the danger. He has not yet met a Talent with abilities as strong as his, but he feels sure they are out there, somewhere.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 7 years agoYour stories are awesome. I noticed that some of them are based on real persons and I wonder if even the swim team is. If not, could you please give us some references (for example, names of actresses or celebrities) who could resemble them? I am curious to see how you imagined their faces. Thank you!
Mephisto_Pegariover 8 years agoAuthorThanks for the comments Anon(s), I'm glad you enjoyed this.
The breast cancer thing - yeah, that was a little cold. I wanted to have a way for her to have augmented breasts that wasn't "she's a porn star" or "she's superficial and needs attention". A little too far into realism, I suppose.
"surprisingly large amount of spelling errors" - sorry, I did try to read through this a few times before posting. But a story this long is quite tiring to write and by the time I'd finished I just wanted it posted and done.
Internal cumshots/impregnation are not my particular fetish (the protagonist is sterile, as I think I mentioned somewhere in the story). I'll write it where it fits the story, but it's not something I aim to have every time.
MePe
Anonymousalmost 9 years agoFantastic job man, you handled the large amount of girls wonderfully, each one felt very distinct and had their own personality. The flow was also superb, and aside from a surprisingly large amount of spelling errors, everything about this story was pretty much flawless. Gotta say though, I was somewhat disappointed that the protagonist didn't get to cum inside all of them, would've been great to see him fill up Jemima and Alia's cunnies with hot jizz while they begged him not to. ;)
Anonymousalmost 9 years agoBeen a fan of your stuff since finding part 1 on mcstories. If you're not tired of the series I think a hot mom/daughter scenario, with the protagonist drawing out some jealousy from the mother, could be sweet.
My only criticism? The breast cancer survivor thing is a little too real for something like this. It introduces real life consequences and that's the last thing I'd want to think about while reading a stroke story
Mephisto_Pegariabout 9 years agoAuthorThank you all for your comments. :-)
@Anon #1: Glad you liked the intro. Hope you got something out of the rest of it too.
@Anon #2: Thanks! Yes, Alia was fun to write. So much that I had to resist giving her too much attention!
@Anon #3: I agree that the story gets repetitive. It's not written as something to be read in one sitting, more like a story people can dip into when they need, uh, inspiration. ;-)
On character/plot development - I've read too many erotic stories where the writer falls in love with his own character and starts writing more and more plot and less and less fucking. I don't intend to fall into that trap. In fact I can promise you is that I will never develop the protagonist beyond what is absolutely necessary to get to the porn. I've heard of character growth. It sounds boring. ;)
@Anon #4: Thanks! I have no idea if I will continue this series. After this lengthy chapter I feel my itch has been thoroughly scratched.
@ cullynthedwarf: repetitive - yes, I agree. See above. The giant dildo - I did consider introducing the toys earlier in the story for the girls to play with. But it just got too complicated keeping track of who was doing what to whom. The highlights reel - yes, I would have liked to expand on those, but to tell the truth by that point I was too eager to finish the story and share it here. A pity but there you go.
MePe
cullynthedwarfabout 9 years agoThoughts are justified. When it was just one girl sure OK the mouth, vagina, anal, worked. But with seven people I personally would have preffered more scenes with the giant dick. In stead of it in the highhlighhs reel. I did enjoy the story don't get me wrong. But a little more variety would be nice as well.
Anonymousabout 9 years agoGreat stuff, as always. I like how he played with each of them in a different way, but ultimately always made them suffer for his pleasure. Looking forward to seeing where you take this series next!
Anonymousabout 9 years ago....I can say you write imagery well, but are less adept at creating characters we can relate to. It seemed a marathon fuckfest that, like a marathon, went on and on and on. So the minor variety you added by having our protagonist step through each girl in a round of some sexual act or other, only gave us seven slightly different views of the same act, each round. It's like reruns. After two or three anal sessions in the same hour, it becomes mundane....even boring.
I stuck it out, but was left somewhat underwhelmed by the story and buried by the repetitive-sameness of much of it.
Sorry, I prefer variety, but in smaller doses than you seem to want to dish out. I do understand, that someone with that capability could conceivably tackle a marathon like that, but I believe he would soon tire of it for the same reasons I gave above. After all, if you can fuck anyone, anytime, people with that capability would tend to escalate into cruelties and tortures as they became less and less aroused by the same old - same old. It's a pretty common theme in history. So unless you develope something in his character or something about his gift that re-excites him to the same or higher levels of arousal each time, he's going to become less believeable each time.
Anonymousabout 9 years agoHappy to see that you added a whole new chapter ! Parts with Alia were my favourite! Great writing, as usual !
