All Comments on 'A Revenge Fuck Gone Bad'

She was trying to show her husband that she was a good fuck, because she knew she was pregnant with another man's baby. She was only using sex to try and convince her husband that she, even though she is pregnant by someone else still loves him. What a crock of shit, she is just another shit for brains slut and he should have kicked her whore ass out when he found out that she was pregnant. Dump the slut and go get that sweet little girl he took on vacation with him.

women!I hate cheating moronic whores but it seems like some people just plain hate women.Pistolpackinpete

I appreciate all of the hard work on writing what I thought was a very good story. But, If you are going to all of this effort, why not finish it? Whether the reader agrees with the ending or not, a story should have one. Very disappointing to be drawn along with the characters and story, then be left with no real finish.

At that reply I started screaming. "For Christ's sake Carol, you don't want to ruin his fucking marriage, what do you think you've done to ours Carol? I can't believe this is fucking happening, Ken said covering his ears. Not now, not fucking now," I screamed; you've killed it, you've fucking killed it Carol; can't you see" I said; now crying. <p>

"Remember, you were the first one to cheat," she reminded me. <p>

"I was drunk, I was fucking drunk and thought I was having sex with my wife, I screamed at the top of his lungs. I didn't take some fuck toy to a hotel for the weekend and get knocked up," I told her. <p>

++++++++++++++++++++ <p>

Did you say someone edited this for you? LOL

another " Oh its just male pride" story that make no

sense. A new low in pathetically Stupid

Good to see this author posting his work here. Harry usually has a good analysis but this story was a great effort. Compared to the dog shit that bonnietaylor & www spew - this author's efforts are golden. David

Some mistakes like mixing first and third person, but good for a beginner.Don´t waste time with the haters!Go on dude!

This story needs an aftermath.

<p>My first thought was 'you had an editor? Was he lblind or is he still learning English?</p>

<p>Then I just had to look up this Matt Moreau.</p>

<p>This is the funniest thing I ever read. Not the plot, that just seemed stupid from what I was able to understand. I first guessed the dumb bits were from Matt Moreau, but as he's this bad an editor, maybe MM added bits I couldn't understand.</p>

<p>Wow. Grammer and punctuation _sucked_. Everyone else already said what needed to be said.</p>

<p>I suggest you get someone who is out of elementary school at least.</p>

<p>I'm guessing you're one of those 'giving jobs to the retarded' type of person, but really, find someone with at least a high school reading level.</p>

Very difficult to read when first / third person is confused as badly in this story. That apart, not a bad depiction of a man with borderline psychopathic tendencies. Have to say the spiteful aspects of his peronality and refusal to accept accountability were particularly well portrayed.

your work edited and proofread. To even consider giving the wife another chance is plain stuipd. Divorce the slut. The statement made was correct. IF she had really loved him she would not have done what she did, actions speak louder than words. Ann seems a good choice. I do regret it not saying he took his son with him. The boy is old enough for a divorce judge to give him a choice as to which parent to be with and it is evident his attachments to the father is strong. Of course by this time he is questioning all aspects of his marriage including his son's DNA. It is natural and to be expected. After all leopards dont change their spots, the wife may have a history the husband doesnt even know about.

As others said, the grammar was a bit off putting, but overall a really good read. The finish was OK for me, but some people do like it all spelled out in fine detail.

You do what you want!

Thanks

Anyone who writes needs to be comended on at least trying. I fear that the line above is where I stopped reading the story. Yes the plot has been used before but even Shakespeare cribbed his stuff. I got lost repeatedly while trying to read the story. The lack of quote marks, the POV shifts (and I have never seen TWO POV's in the same sentence before) made it impossible for me to follow the story line. I can't even comment about the ending as I didn't get that far. I'm sorry. Thank you for trying but PLEASE get an editor.

Two wrongs never make a right, I think they are about even and a good marriage is trashed, too bad. I agree with going after Robert, he should never have cheated on his wife and family even if finding out what they did caused so much pain I don't believe he thought it was worth it before he was served. Good story, I can live with mistakes, thanks and keep writing.

Enjoyed this, but as others have said there would be a huge benefit it getting a better editor or just making the punctuation more logical for a start.

Thanks for writing and hope you keep at it.

The grammar thing can be easily fixed. I liked the story. To answer your question at the end-good sex cannot fix a bad marriage.

I'm glad you are posting on this site, even though you give hyper-critics (who likely could not write half as well) the chance to cavil at any slips. So keep writing! You are, after all, almost the only writer on the other site who writes from an adult, male perspective, and even here you help balance those who write twisted and unrealistic fantasies of wimp men.

you really need some help with basic use of the language and things like quotations. I too was stopped cold by "I screamed at the top of his lungs."

Yeah there are a few flaws, but I think it captured the emotions of a couple of messed up people quite well. Comments on grammatical errors are correct, but this is a story, not an essay for an English class.<p>In terms of plot, if I were Ken and had a potentially viable option with Ann, I'd move on. I don't see Ken as wimpy as he did get revenge on the other guy. For that matter, I don't see Carol as a slut - just a person bearing the consequences of some very bad decisions. In fact, an epilogue could have Ken and Ann remarrying, the son moving in with them, and would end with "consequences are a bitch."

The underlying story concept is better than average, for this genre. But seriously! The writing is in dire need of a good editor. For starters, pick a perspective (first person or third person) and stick with it. I lost count of how many times you changed perspective, within the same sentence!!!! And in other places, it was just simply difficult to follow the story; although, a couple of times to re-read gave enough context to figure out what was intended. In short: good story, pathetic writing.

-- KK in Texas

The writing is a little rough around the edges but the story itself is good. Not sure I would forgive her but as she keeps saying the husband cheated first. The baby is really secondary to the problems they have once the baby is out of the way then perhaps they can start talking.

I gave you a high rating for your effort and story. You really do need an editor to clean it up a bit. As the author, you can end it as you like but I felt that you bailed out at the last moment. Keep writing, I think that you have talent, but do use an editor. Goofs such as exist here take your readers out of the story.

Good work. I see the super critics are out in force. Never mind them. You write the story the way you want it to read. Liked the characters, I felt bad for their situation.

I have submitted stories but by no means am I an accomplished writer. I would suggest that after writing your story, let it be for a few days, go back and proof it and then submit. It sometimes helps with grammar, tense, and punctuation. I'm just trying to help.

For my personal tastes, I would like to see a chapter 2 or continuation of the story. Again for my tastes, the story could continue.

Over all I enjoyed you writing and will look for other stories from you.

Thanks for your effort. So many bitch but do no work.

woodmanone

Once again an udder fem employs the myth of 'frail male ego'. It's the putas who have that deep problem, not males. If not why do fems actually NEED hyping every day all day and why do they hype each other?

Why don't you quit attempting to write as a male and get to writing what you do know from your female perspective?

Oh wait ! Maybe you are male, maybe a METROSEXUAL !

<p>I've known where this has happened twice and in one marriage they divorced and in the other they didn't. They decided to stay for the kids, and it was a fiasco.</p>

<p>They fought all the time, they started doing things separately (going out a nights for a boy's or girls night out) and they barely talked. I believe they both were cheating on each other again at some point, but reached the don't ask don't agreement between each other. So the point I always asked was "Why are you still together" and they said for the kids. But didn't they realize the kids knew and it was warping them?</P>

<p>I thought it wasn't too bad. A little rough, but it wasn't hard for me to follow. The ending was open ended, but the clincher for me, that would have ended the marriage early, was when the wife tells him she is pregnant by another man and he wasn't allowed to find out who. That it didn't matter because this allowed her to get the marriage back on track and the only thing that mattered was he was forgiven. And that if she hadn't ended up pregnant she would have never have told him she got even with him. She would have let him believe that she just "forgave" him on her own after much soul searching and everything would have went on normally. That was a character flaw that I could never have gotten past personally. But I liked it for the most part."</p>

-Risq

I have to admit that the details of your writing requires an ability to guess what should really be there. For me, it was fun, just as stopping where you did with the question "The Lady or the Tiger" is a perfectly acceptable ending, but I will bet that 80% of the readers are craving a resolution. You have to decide whether you are following an internal voice or are playing to the crowd.... If the latter, you are going to need to make some changes. I find it particularly grave that the wife took down a married man instead of finding a free stud. She really did not plan anything out. One other question is, what did he telll his wife and son about the ten day trip with Ann...?? Thanks for you hard and good work.

Great idea but missing the point and/or the direction... I just don't know SORRY Man

You really need to check your grammar more often. Use MSword it would of picked up some of the simple mistakes you made.

You also need some lessons in using first person, third person techniques as you have used a mish mash of both.

If I was Matt Moreau i really would not want my name on this work.

On the other-hand the story line was good and could hold my attention though I felt the wife's fling and pregnancy were too obvious

The writing was great and the story was overwhelming. This has probably happened to a lot of couples and the truth be know, how many dads are raising bastard kids. You got you revenge on Robert and Carol and Revenge Is So Sweet. The only one that really suffers are the kids, but they rebound since most of marriages today are divorces. Carol planned the thing while yours happened out of a druken haze. It is nice that her parents are turning their shoulder to her. As for Ann, go after her because she does make you happy and is a good companion. Congratulations to the authot.

If it had been a wife who got fucked, however drunk she was, on a business trip, you'd all be screaming for her fuckin' ass. Y'all conveniently forgot the damage and pain he caused her, obviously knocking her off kilter, almost destroying the marriage anyway. I enjoyed it. It was uncomfortably close to reality and painful to think of the five children damaged by all these vile egoists. To the people who think he should go with Anne, are you serious? Er, right, she seems like a real class act...

personally I think to bad he slipped up. no excuse for that one. but it can or in this case happened. what she did was not even a revenge fuck. she went fucking on purpose, she did it bareback, she quit the pill (otherwise the couple would not have one son, they would have a bunch of kids). then she waited until she could not have an abortion. I guess it's 12 weeks , after that you can't have an abortion anymore? So don't tell me a woman who had already a baby doesn't know how it feels to be pregnant, besides that she had already missed twice her menstruation, she deliberately waited so she had to have the baby. The next nice move was she choosed a guy so that the baby visibly could not be from her husband because of the skin colour. then she presented it to her husband and thought he will just accept it and she would have her revenge that will remind him livelong what happened. so from my point of view no mercy please. this womans carachter is so bad and so low that for her personal revenge she destroyed her son's life, her family, another family who has 3 kids... the list is never ending.

he was dunks. I remember a murder trial where the guy tried to excuse himself because he was drunk. I will never forget what the judge said . "You chose to get drunk...youwere sober before that and then you made the decision to get drunk...there fore you are guilty of pre meditated murder and the laws of this state are clear. You will die in the.....bla bla...Ken made the decision to get drunk so he had to accept that everything that happened was intentonal. We are going through an economic melt down that is fueled by alcahol. The big wigs and their cronies got drunk and let the meltdown occur due to their drunken stupidity. The same drunks keep the best recretiation drug illegal so they can make a lot of money off it. After all money is power. Alcahol should be illegal and pot legal. So the excuse that the husband gives doesn't fly because he was drunk. He's a drunk and nothing more. As far as the wife goes she was careless and just fucked up. Everyone knows that Latinoes, just like niggers, want to knock a white woman up. Everyone was wrong and should not have forgotten their wedding vows. Perhaps a law should be made against getting drunk. Every one should light up instead. Have a problem with it?

Getting drunk is NOT an excuse; but the wife certainly was guilty of overkill. Yes, I have had a bad blowjob...

Cheating sucks!

He freaks out because she chose to fuck someone else...well, so did he. His pitiful excuse that he was drunk is retarded. He chose to get drunk and go dancing with another woman, that tells me he was planning on getting a little something something. And then to scream like a little baby and throw a temper tantrum...well, maybe there is a reason she cheated on him...he's an immature baby.

Talk about double standards!

thinking with the other brain!

Bad ending. You chickened out when it came to committing to an ending. I can't respect that. Write a sequel, and finish the story. Rich

Well done!! Its easy to see the main reason he went beserk is because of the pregnancy. There is no way an expierenced, mother of one woman cannot know she could get pregnant and how to prevent it. If she would've got her revenge fuck and wouldn't have rubbed his nose like she did with the pregnancy, they may have a better chance; as it is, I wouldn't dream of going back to her.

Ok, so they both fucked up. Now what. They have to decide if they are better off without one another for the rest of their lives. What about their son? Kids sort of need two parents. He was wrong and she was stupid wrong. Pick up the pieces and put it back together.

Either the original version was completely unreadable or Matt Moreau is almost as illiterate as Slirpuff.

The story was very erotic. But you are a selfish son-of-a-bitch in the way you treated your wife. So she got knocked up by another guy? I should be so lucky with my low sperm count and not being able to breed a woman! I'd feel honored to be able to be a daddy, legally, to a baby my wife had with another guy. You are a crazy and selfish son-of-a-bitch!

I cannot honestly rate this story because i gave up reading when he got drunker than a skunk. Can't anybody write a story that doesn't depend on the hero or heroine getting blind drunk?

the Ct. Yankee

This is the first time that I have ever commented on a story, but for those of you that are screaming "Double Standard", I would imagine that your female. This isn't about double standard. This is about getting pregnant. Yes, Ken was first to break the marriage vow, intensional or not. Being drunk is not an excuse, but he didn't plan it nor did he get anyone pregnant. He did feel bad about what happened. His wife only felt bad because she got pregnant. I believe Ken could have got past her getting even with him by having sex, but to get pregnant was taking it too far. It's a little harder to over look the indiscretion when your having to raise someone else's child. He also didn't have sex with another married person. I understand the revenge aspect, but not the stupidity aspect on her part.

This story jumps from 1st to 3rd person perspective a lot, and in a confusing fashion. If Matt edited this then Matt is a crap editor.<br><br>

The content wasn't bad, but you seriously need a better editor.

I'd love to hear this story from the REALLY stupid wife's point of view. Did she really think he would accept her having a bastard child because of one drunken night when he thought he was making love to his wife? please let me here her rationale for that?

but as pointed out by many, a good proofreading would have done wonders. The comment by "don87654" was somewhat hard to swallow. As far as I'm concerned the last paragraph could have been left off and the story was finished. The last two paragraphs contradict each other. Keep on trying, practice makes perfect.

Decent story, could have used alot more proofreading/editing. It works better when you stick with 1st or 3rd person in the writing and not switch randomly between the two.

Great story until the end. Must be the Matt Moreau wimp out influence. It is repulsive to think that he would keep the ex around as anything more than an occasional fuck buddy, and he let the beaner off way to light.

Not bad for a first story. Take some of the comments in account for your next one. And please don't pay attion to good old Don87654. His low sperm count is not his only problem. His brain cell count is not much better.

Regards, Umberto

Ok, let's get the obvious out of the way. The 1st to 3rd person switches were annoying, but that's easy to fix, and in time and with more experience, I'm sure will be fixed. The ability to tell a story, however, isn't so easy. Here is where you shine. You had me riveted to the screen! You can definitely tell a story, and that's what it's all about. Do not stop writing! I've seen plenty of "perfect English" submissions that had me bored to death in the first three paragraphs.

PS. Way to go on giving the bitch her due but still keep it on the table.

I am responding to the poor ending. Ken states that he is considering reconciliation with Carol because of his great past (sex) relationship. This last paragraph trivalized a very realistic situation. The husband goes out of town, have too many drinks and ends up with a strange woman in bed. Wife finds about it and decides to get even. Can the marriage survive? The answer is yes in most cases depending on the two people involved. Here is the case against Kan and Carol getting back together. First, Carol waited 4 weeks to get her revenge fuck in. She coldly calculated that Ken would not leave her (and Ronnie) while she fucked her Latino work colleague. The fact that it was a work colleague suggests that she was attracted to him for some time before Ken's screwup. Carol suspected Ken of cheating on her and based upon her talk about Ken's work abilties did not respect or believe in h1m. Carol clearly admitted that she would have not told Ken about the affair. Now that Ken has broken his vows she felt justified to ignored her vows. Since she fucked her lover bareback she exposed Ken to STDs including HIV. Carol's efforts to protect her lover also meant that she did not have much respect for Ken's feelings. Lastly, her makeup sex was designed to get Ken to accept her bastard child. Also, according to my math there was 12 weeks from her fling but she informed Ken that she knew for only the last 1 1/2 weeks that she was pregnant? Bottom line instead of Ken thinking with his dick he should be thinking about the type of person he is going to be with for the rest of his life. Regardlless of the past good times Carol has demonstrated that she is not trustworthy and she would be cheating on him within a few years of any reconciliation. The last paragraph trivalizes Ken's outrage and reaction to her revenge fuck. Excellent first effort!

First of all, this is the farthest thing from an erotic story, much less one that belongs in the loving wives section. Second, getting so drunk you don't know who you're fucking is bullshit (your dick wouldn't even work if you were that drunk) and she sure as hell wouldn't have enjoyed it. Third, this dude has some serious anger issues and needs some psychiatric help. And lastly, the whole plot is garbage (tracking down hotel video, yeah right).

Garbage story, too many third person to first person screw ups. Very Freudian. The author definitely needs some counseling. I'll have to post anon so that the shitbag doesn't track ME down!

Liked the story itself, but the constant jumps from 1st. person, 2nd. person, 3rd, and then back again really distract from the story. It makes it very difficult to figure out who is doing or saying what. If this is being proofread, then please get a new proofreader. It will help you out a huge amount.

Overall an enjoyable read, which is not uncommon with the plot lines you can find with the “wrong revenge” genre.

However, I do have a particular problem with many of these stories – and unfortunately with this story as well. <P>

For clarification purposes I’ll briefly describe the common features I find in this genre. Thematically, the plot lines cover disproportionate/overboard revenge or misguided revenge due to entrapment or jumping to the wrong conclusions by one spouse who then goes on to exact a revenge. <P>

Despite the differences they all share common features. 1. One feature is the mismatch between the “provocation” (real or imagined) and the reaction to it. 2. Another feature is a ‘volcanic eruption’ of righteous rage by the offended spouse. 3. The ‘righteous rage’ does not respond to any effort made by the presumed to be offending spouse, to negotiate, explain or correct any misperception regarding his alleged wrong doing. 4. The same attitude reverses itself once the ‘revenge gone bad’ has been exacted. The change is even more dramatic if the details of the revenge are independently reveled. 5. The result is usually a destruction of the relations which are usually portrayed as quite idyllic up to the unfortunate crisis. <P>

The best stories in this sub genre prepare the ground for the confrontation by planting the seeds of mistrust, some character flaw or unresolved conflict between the spouses. Once the main crisis hits the couple, the extreme reaction demonstrated by the wife is understood in the context of the previously provided background. <P>

Truth to be told, while I always like the strength of this plot lines: the highly dramatic conflicts, I usually don’t see the kind of preparation I have just mentioned. As a result, the aggrieved spouse usually seems to be acting as if she was experiencing a psychotic episode, or as if someone had put hallucinogenic drugs into her food: basically the reader is required to buy the out of character behavior of what up to the crisis point were long term harmonious and trusting relations… Sorry, but for me this is just a result of lack of attention (or understanding) to the importance of preparing the ground for the main plot development in the middle of the story. I don’t think it’s too much to ask, even if there are many stories of this type which similarly never bother to explain the temporary insanity of those wives…(other than assuming that deep inside they all are bad bad bad…)

Forgot to mention this unrelated point in my original posting. How the heck could hubby consider reuniting with a wife who (for whatever un known reasons) goes postal on him - to the point of putting him and his son in mental hell, not to mention physical danger (by now he may also be at the incubating stage of some nasty STD)... What might happen next time? A wrong bill from the credit card company and she takes out a revolver and tries to kill him? Hey, maybe if the sex is REALLY good it maybe worth the risk...

Your story is hard to follow, for which reason it is not enjoyable to read. I think that Matt should have done a better job of editing for you. You need to get the story clear before you submit it for posting (publishing)or the reader with have a devil of time following it. There are a lot of places where I do not understand what you mean to say. You go from the first person to the third person at times. However, the big issue I feel relates to how the wife determined that he was, in fact, not the father of the baby and that her weekend lover, Robert was! There is no explanation in the text giving a time line ( was looking for this) that the wife used to conclude that Robert, and not her husband, was the father. Why was DNA profiling not performed at birth as this genetic test would have identified the father. If this is a continuing story the time line needs to be addressed. The wife does not magically know who the father would be. You might wish to write another chapter to clarify this issue. RAG

Well, the whole thing stunk like yesterday's diapers; but "I screamed at the top of his lungs" made me laugh out loud. How the FUCK can you scream at the top of someone else's lungs?<p>Oh, please, get a decent editor.

This is what you wrote: "I'd like to thank Matt Moreau for his proof reading and suggestions."

Matt seems to have as much knowledge of English grammar as you have. The blind leading the blind.

I like your stories but you're changing from first person to second to whatever and it's really annoying. Come on and fix this problem with your writing already.

Shit, I'll even do it for you the next time around.

Enjoyed the story. Your ability to weave a tale that grabs the reader is excellent. Obviously the editing could use some help. Keep writing, you're doing good. I really liked the story but couldn't give it a 100 because of technical problems.

One last thing, Chapter 2 please and soon.

I ENJOY READING YOUR STORIES UNTIL THE LAST PART AND ONCE AGAIN YOU WIMP OUT. IT LIKE YOU THINK ONLY ONE PERSON CAN GIVE A BLOW JOB.

In many ways this was a far better story than the 4.75. Clearly, I think enough of you as writer to read some of your other stories. It does look like you decided to make this 1st person and didn't find all the pronouns... I can tell you from experience, you need a good editor in addition to skilled reader like Matt.

<p>

Once again I think you've short-changed the readers by not spending just a bit more time with the characters. You leave too many questions unanswered, and I'm not talking about the ending.

<p>

Why did she wait until she knew she was pregnant before she returned to his bed. I can think of several reasons, but most simply provide a negative view of her. I want to see hers!

<p>

Then there was the problem with her attitude of "You have to accept this because you did it first!" I can accept that a woman might use the argument because that's all she has, but after he'd rejected it, I think she would have tried a different approach.

<p>

I also have a problem with his "revenge fuck." If he was thinking about separation, he was morally obligated to do it before he left, otherwise he is no better than his wife.

<p>

I also wonder about a man who waits through a whole pregnancy and then moves out. To me that sounds like a man who loves the woman and wants to find a way to work it out. Perhaps after the vacation he decided he wanted a new love, but you closed that door with your comment about the trip back.

<p>

Last, but not least, it seems clear that he's looking for an excuse to take her back, but surely he could find something better than a blow job. Especially when he cavalierly dismisses staying for the boy.

<p>

Like you other story, I think this one would be much improved by a sequel. Show some growth in the characters, show how they've become better people. Certainly both have plenty of room to grow!

YOu have to decide whether to tell your story in the 1st person, or 3rd person, one or the other. BUT, mixing the two up is very disconcerting to say the least. Personally, w/ your type of story, I like 1st person best, but that's your call.

But get an editor, I'm surprised that Matt let this most obvious of error get away w/out being corrected. Keep writing though, you have a direct & succinct way of telling a story that is refreshing.

Setting aside that he probably did, however drunk, have some inkling that he wasn't with his wife, he put or allowed himself to be in a vulnerable position. Setting that aside, I think any wife, worried for her husbands safety, would have had the hotel check his room. Okay, so far, your story is credible. Now facing his wife and coming clean, she goes ballistic ( understandable) and pushes him and any conversation coldly out of question. Now, I think most wives; however reluctantly, would allow some sort of discusion in the next day or two. She not only didn't but just disappeared. I don't think she had been an adulterous person but, this was premeditated, calculated (well thought out) and without any regard for consequence. Not only was it a grudge fuck but a weekend. Hell, there had to be a lot of fucking and probably love making, although, I'm sure, not with a long term plan.

It seemed as though, after reading the whole story, that she actually began to warm up to him after a time in which she might have known she was pregnant. Noticeably, you made no mention of them discussing their sadness, any remorse, regrets and memories of their love, just slowly getting into ...hmmm...better sex than before.

As much as I had the feeling she was a good wife, loveable, likeable and monogamous, she suddenly and without any respect or regard for (the what if - the possibility of sensible reasoning) their marriage, son or the tomorrows, damn well and determinably went out and got fucked...and damned good (a whole wekend). She apparently hated and despised her husband and without the benefit of any meaningful dialogue; however hurtful the discussion might have been, she hustled a married man and not seduced, but fucked him for a weekend.

I don't think it was right or justafiable for him to fuck up and I think she was totally, withour reason, wrong, and mistaken in a very bad decision.

This was, up until the business meeting, a happy normal married couple. I would hate to walk away from her, he hadn't made love to anyone but, we know he will never be able to forget her intentional infidelity. He will, undoubetly, always love her, always hate and despise what she did, but will never be able to get the hurt out of his head. Like it or not, he has to go his own way. She had a moment of hot headed anger but continued ahead with the weekend. You know she had time to think, this wasn't her husband. A quick revenge fuck, what the hell was the rest of it.

I like the way you handled the separation, I feel sorry for her and I'm sure she honestly does regret her actions. I can't quite see him enjoying ten days of great sex with Ann at the Sandels (well maybe), one because she was part of the ordeal, two because it is too soon and three, he has three beautiful secretaries that will probably want to be his friends. Still, it was a good story, thanks.

he didn't have the right to get on Carols case because she had sex with Robert. He did a stupid act like everyone that helped our economic breakdown,( I call it the alcahol fueld economic melt) Of course you want get the distillers to agree with that statement. LEGALIZE POT AND MAKE ALCOHOL ILLEGAL. Any way Carol should have known better. If she only wanted to get even with a cheating husband she should have known better and Robert surely should have known berrte. Latino men are just like niggers...they have to impregnate white women...hell any woman. He was justified in what he did because she had an illegitimate child. POOR KID. And fucking up Roberts marriage. Even Roberts wife kicking Carols ass. She should have half killed the slut. But what was this with the stupid drunk of a husband going ballistic because she fucked another...he did. His excuse of him being drunk is no excuse...He took that first drink. She was right except that she got pregnant. No excuse for her. The only real winner is Ronnie. He learned that stupid eople shouldn't drink. Even though I hated mos of the characters and the only blameless person seemed to be Ann...I loved the story

for any reason. YOu have to ask yourself and her one question, why did you hate me so much that you did this to harm me. The obvious answer I dont hate you is an immediate lie. If she hadnt hated you she would never have done this while married to you.

stay with it. Would you please learn to keep your story telling in one frame of reference. Changing from 1st person to 3rd person disrupts the flow of the story and confuses the intended character identification of your pronouns. Who ever you had as an editor, if he let these kinds of mistakes thru, knows less about writing then you. anon jerry

The only decent person in this story is the son. Too bad the parents aren't smart enough to learn from him.

You are a crude, selfish son-of-a-bitch. Carol did only what is natural as a member of the animal kingdom that was in "heat".

I never quite get the revenge fuck plot. To my mind any of us that cheats does so because we wanted to and we never have all that much of a reason. A reason is just some kind of rationalization of either an improper or even a proper act. I am sure that his reasoning ability was lowered because of the alcohol. That is the main reason to drink; to relax and not have to worry about the reasoning part of the brain. That is why people drive drunk. They "Think" they are doing fine on the childish level they are on while under the influence! Thats why men get women drunk deliberately; to relax their normal reasoning and get in their panties. The wife's cold-blooded cheating was deliberate and her reasoning was not impaired. She cheated because she wanted to at the time. It was evident that she felt that she had a wild card to play, and she picked the man she wanted even though he too was married. I am normally all for reconciliation that Matt Moreau or Ohio and others provide because of the love their characters have for each other. I do not see the love described by them in this wife. She was pissed at his cheating and unwilling to listen to his explanation. She cheated her husband with premeditation and only confessed because she got pregnant. Even then she would not name the father of her child; thus cheating her husband again of any respect. Instead of getting an abortion she forced her hubby to watch her belly rise with another man's child. I do not see any real love on her part and could not myself accept staying with her. What for? The child? He doesn't lose the child and he could probably get custody with the evidence he has of her adultery. Besides that, he cheated again deliberately for 10 days with the other women. What is left for either of them in this marriage? Just my thoughts... I never much care about the quality of the writing from new authors. I would suppose a good professional editor could improve the quality. But, isn't this an amateur site?

You're like a disease,I hope there is cure for wimpitis,He should of divorced the cunt,not seperate fromher.You like that sissy Matt Moreau are two butt buddies driving the long drive up the hershey highway!

it need's a better ending............. i bet you jack off without cumming, huh? ok? ...........

a blowjob doesn't make a good reason for reconciliation.

I loved the part of story, wife seemed to be loving, but having planned a whole weekend, that is something. He did it, he even confessed, revenge fuck could not be justified here, because he told and was honest at least when sober. Her part was some what confused, she did not talk, did not let him say a single word, means BITCHY. She fucked for three straight days(complete intentions of getting pregnant), CHEATER. Felt guilty even tried to get back. LOVING WIFE? (Hell not, if she did not get pregnant she wud have done it again, because once you know you got scott free, you try it again and again). She was disrespect her marriage by not telling him the name of child, means she did not care about her own marriage, but care about a man who also cheated on his wife while sober. So in here both Men were cheater, one willingly other unwillingly, But one was her husband and other was may be potential lover, whom she care about?, So she was served right. By not getting support which she needed while pregnant, insulted by her parents and some decent woman. But what he did wrong was fucking straight 10 days outside the house without telling her who he is going out with, YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER. And after that it would have been fair to get back with her. Because one more thing you should not forget about is your son, who is completely innocent between you two. If you think it going to hurt you for your whole life, then instead of impregnating HER next time, adopt a child and tell her its your mistake you made outside. (Because it would also help a child who was born because of stupidity similar to the one made by you wife. And later if you feel sorry for her tell her the truth, because it was also good deed) Sorry for such a complex suggestion, but believe me DIVORCE is never solution to any problem, unless every one involved in it(WIFE, HUSBAND and CHILDREN) want it desperately. Separation is even worse.

get rid of the stupid bitch wife ...take shared custody of ronnie ....marry ann instead .....and let her n her latino fuck buddy marry now .....since hes now divorced also ...he will be free n they can raise their bastard kid ....have him one week mom the next and then ronnie the other week ...that way they will always have a kid around ...just make sure they dont short change ronnie ...if they do change the agreement and only let her see him every other weekend and maybe on weds ...as long as they stay in same school district...if not just move n let her ex have ronnie ...and her n her new hubby can have their own kid without messing up ronnie...who needs a coniving bitch like her ...one thats all about revenge ...and who wouldnt tell unless she did get pregnant...and just how many times did she fuck the spic anyway

and all the kings men can't pull that together again...the reminders of the calculated cheating. It s her price to pay, and the man, got his price too. He has an option, and need not have the constant reminders.

I'm feeling like I'm reading a story by a schizo or something because it keeps going from first to third person back and forth it's annoying.

It seems a bit unfinished and rushed.It will be good to heard Carol side of the things.

What may have been an okay story was totally ruined by the awful grammatical and tense errors.

It seems unlikely that the writer or the 'editor' use English as their primary language. If they are, in fact, from an English-speaking country, I suggest they re-take a course 8th grade English. They must have missed it the first time around.

All I can say is "OUCH"!

way too many loose ends

why would he go so berserk that she got impregnated by some random dude ... and then consider getting back with her? he doesn't care about his hands as much as before? shit i think not. she'd be dead before long

Maybe the slut Carol could be saint Carol according to some fucked it idiot who goes by shoe. In either case, another almost JPB wimp jack-off special.

Being drunk is no excuse. Sorry even when drunk I know who I am with and would know the difference between my spouse and someone I had just met.

Don't see how Carol is a "slut wife". She cheated once, he woke up from sleeping with Ann and did it again. HE is the one who set this in motion not Carol. Sure getting revenge was stupid but it sure didn't stop him from calling Ann for a repeat. Seems he is nothing but a hypocrite.

If you ever again try to change a story's POV from third to first person (or v.v.) REREAD IT SIX TIMES TO BE SURE YOU'VE DONE IT!. Unless your purpose is to destroy a fine story, in which case do just what you've done. I begin to suspect you toss your stories to some "editor" because you're too lazy or fed up to do the final work of burnishing and adjusting. As if 'fuck this shit, and fuck them readers too' were your last thoughts about it. Well, Slkirpuff, why write it then? I'd volunteer to edit your stuff -- I'm a pro -- and may, but I'd hate to see what garbage you apparently heap on your editors that they labor and even so leave things so sloppy. I would insist absolutely that however inept it appeared, the story be as ABSOLUTELY clean as you know how to make it before I'd go near it. I can't believe you have the patience.

And that's why your more serious problem may not be correctible -- you just won't think things through with great care, so though you write strong stories, exceptionally strong stories, your endings are weak (thus far only one or two exceptions, but then I've not read more than a fifth of your stuff yet). In this case, yes Carol's "friend" should bear the full penalty he did, and Carol maybe too, eventually. But for the right reasons. You could have intricately complicated all that moral self-righteousness by "Ken" setting certain coinditions like 1) the father's name must be revealed and his full responsibility known, just as hers gets known, because begetting babies is SERIOUS SHIT, 2) the baby gets adopted instantly, sight unseen, as is done with young teen pregnancies. no bonding, 3) she shows anguished, not just makes quiet comment showing recognition of how awfully unbalanced her "revenge" was (and for that matter, how unjustified "revenge" always is, despite our dumb primitive instincts), and 4) that he's leaving her not because she's a "slut" or the other things some of the moral assholes on this list think -- she most certainly is not -- but because she abrogated the one thing that would always have held him to her despite his finding a better or more likely mate, so he can now go with that new mate with a clear conscience and high hopes for the future. Guess what that one thing is.

Or you could have used your own fictive situation as given to find some other suitable ending, by granting that situation its full integrity and actually thinking it through. But don't settle for kneejerk or gut endings. Knee reflexes are mindless, and guts are always and only filled with the same shit.

Ah as the story was edited by matt moreau it certainly does bear his mark. he managed to cut off one of kens balls in the end . apart from the one lost ball a good read

Really enjoyed the story. But, the ending dropped it one star. "Separation papers" instead of divorce papers? "Will Carol and I get back together"?

Apologies to the Wizard of Oz, but this husband needs a brain much more than that scarecrow.

Obviously by my Handle, not my story theme, but nicely written, good job

Great until the end. Understand, some wives act like Carol did at first but a good one gets angry, cries and demands an explanation and then thinks about it. Planning a 3day fuck fest as revenge doesn't/didn't fit this couple.

He took the time to get away with Ann, that was his decision. Separation - BS. Would he always miss her, still love her - yes - But - she not only planned to fuck another guy, she spent three sober days making love...Big difference, she killed it, love or not.

He wouldn't have to treat her like a whore, she had slutted but he could still be friendly to her for Ronnie's sake. Divorce - tragic but she killed the love and trust, his action took a band aid, love and caring, hers - start over with someone else!

Like your stories Slirpuff and this one but, it lost a little in the credibility department as it relates to staying close to real life probabilities - something, you are usually really good at!

Thanks!

My favorite part was, if he was going to give her a chance it would be his choice. He wasn't going to stay with her because of the son. I would call her a slut but she really wasn't. She fucked up by getting PG. I don't disagree with the revenge fuck, but I would boot her ass out because of the outcome. And as far as the comment from Cuckold, grow some balls and quit sucking cream filled pussy.

I really enjoy your writing. The open end gives each and all an answer as to what happens. My email is da6996@comcast.net. Coould you send me your email address in order for me to send you a couple of my stories to ascertain if I should keep on writing?

She wouldn't let him talk or try to explain - seems like she was looking for a way to commit adultery - and get a Free Pass for it !!

To have a pre-meditated adulterous trip for THREE days,and then say she was sorry (?) is a no-brainer.

I think the pregnancy was a mistake(?) but she STILL thought that as he started it,they should work through it - WHAT??

He should divorce her ''citing Adultery'' and kick her ass to the curb.

Ronnie should also be told, by his Father, the truth of it all - he's not stupid and will realise that his Mother is really a piece of work........

I hope Ann becomes a more regular Lady in his Life - and even Marry her.

a 3 day revenge fuck isn't pay back. it is a ploy to get away with something you think about for a long time. only the birth of a child from that is a tragidy. she deserves what ever she ends up with. I doubt that the pregnency was an accident, only another way to rub his nose in it. the one who really loses out of all of this is the young son.

So many LW stories use drunkenness as the excuse/justification for playing around that it's boring to read it again. I suppose there must be a lot more drinking going on in real life than what I experience.

The poor grammar and weird first/third person verb tense changes made this story a little difficult and, honestly, somewhat irritating to read. I've read some more recent stories and I know you've been working to improve both your plotting and grammar. And, to be honest, you have. I don't know if Lit allows you to go back and fix prior stories, but if they do, I'd recommend it.

I don't want to end with a criticism because I do appreciate your sharing your talent with us and you ARE a good story teller. You have a wide variety of plots and endings. I hope you keep on writing and growing.

You are usually a good writer. Your ending leaves the impression that the husband is going to wimp out. I could not understand why until I saw who you thanked. Matt Moreau's main male characters are all wimps. For this reason I no longer read his stories. You are a good writer; I would hate to boycott your stories.

Are you fucking crazy!!!!!!!! Your woman gets a chili- chocked , pepper -propeled, taco- bending river- running, bean bandit PUTO to make her pregers and you think about taking her back??????

Didn't Sandels teach you anythiong??????

Get real!!!!!!!

And you have a JPB ending. That explains a lot.

Butt you totally blew it by writing in the first person, third person ad back all in the same paragraphs.

I'm just a sucker for a happy ending. As others mentioned, the constant switching between first and third parties, is hard to read. Wasn't that supposed to be the job of this Matt guy? If so, he didn't do a very good job. I'd find someone else next time.

Things did get a little out of hand for a reconsiliation, but there's alway hope I guess.

I still gave it 5 stars.

so she DID IT....whats to be expected...HUH.....DUH.....TK U MLJ LV NV

You're better than this, bad ending.

Yes, he screwed up, was honest and certainly shouldn't feel redeemed after - No.

She, planned and executed a three day fucking weekend and she feels that is acceptable - No.

A better ending, she eventually realizes the overkill, the reluctance to talk first, still feels that he hurt her - justifiable but he also realizes she is too quick to cheat (sober) and then try to protect her lover and not care enough about her husband!

This guy would have, should have calmly told her he would always love her, hate what she did, never forget it but he would stay friends for the sake of Ronnie but - the marriage he cherished did not exist.

Thanks for a good read, just not your usual!

This excellant story now has 100 comments and it is now (along with the brilliant author) a member of the 100+ COMMENT STORY CLUB.

Well done Sir!!!!

they both had it coming. Really well written. I liked the pace. I sympathize with the wife, in that he cheated on her and slept with another woman. He fessed up, but not completely (the morning session was a serious betrayal). She had every reason to believe that, while he was truthful, he was not 100% truthful (people usually will spin things to make themselves look better). If i was in the wife's position, I would have to get payback, too. BUT, after I got it, it's time to make things right again-if you want to. She could have told him, or not. I don't get the continuing to keep hubbie on pins and needles and giving him the cold shoulder after she got her revenge fuck. Sure, he did it first, but she got him back. She never wanted to tell him, so she should have just tried to reconcile at that point if she wanted him (which she did). However, she fucked up and showed herself to be a hypocrite when she did it with a married man, and when she didn't take sufficient precautions to prevent preganancy. Pretty easy to avoid it, really-she could have gone on the pill and bided her time for a month before the get-even affair, used condoms, had him pull out, and also taken a morning-after pill. Also, probably a good idea to get a pregnancy test after the first missed period (or even before it was due), so an early abortion could have been performed. Of course, the wife in this story seems extremely stupid, so she probably didn't do any of that. Seriously stupid. She can't prevent herself from becoming pregnant? She is so enraged by her husband cheating that she cheats herself with a married man with children? She doesn't realize she is pregnant until it is too late to have an abortion (isn't that like 6 months in pretty much every state?)? She thinks that she and hubby are EVEN? She thinks hubby is going to be ok with her carrying some other dude's child? She thinks she has a snowball's chance in hell of reconciliation without revealing who the father is? Her stupidity is almost comical, really, which kind of detracts from the story. But, I like the revenge gone wrong scenario. It is, I guess, a cautionary tale.