A Very Toofy Christmas

He'd broken her hymen with his tongue.

She might still be as horny as fuck, but she was more willing to go to a whorehouse and break the dick off an elf she could pay to treat her right, than to give this prick a second chance.

Artema put one leg into her pants as he stepped towards her, looking apologetic. She threw her boots at his face and hissed at him.

"Captain. Please. I didn't mean for -"

She bared her fangs at him, bristling with rage. She clenched one fist, "Keep talking, and I'll put you down, again. But you won't get back up."

"Tauran women always pretend!"

She blinked her blue and green eyes slowly and her nostrils flared, "Do I look like... A fucking... Tauran?"

"I've never dated a human, or a neko. I didn't... I'm sorry. I fucked up." He spread his hands, "Punish me, certainly. But... Give me a second chance. Let me make this up to you, somehow."

Something in Artema's extensive tutelage kicked at her, making her feel guilty despite her rage. She sighed and rubbed her eyes, "Why do tauran women always pretend they're still virgins?"

"The bonding ritual is intimate. One gift to another. The binding of two clans." He sighed heavily, "That's our history. It became a cultural thing at some point. Most women aren't. But until they have their wedding night, they always say it's their first."

"Makes sense. Fuck you." She sighed and finished pulling on her pants. She leaned against the wall, and crossed her arms. "Here's the neko side of things. As soon as we come of age, we hit our heat cycles. For two or three days a month, we feel the need to fuck our brains out. Being a virgin means you haven't. That you're immature. Not a real woman. Haven't finished puberty yet. Being a virgin... Is being a kid. Admitting it... Doesn't happen. So... Fuck you, you asshole."

"You... Dated Kaius."

She nodded, "Mmm. I was planning to screw him when he came back with a mistress. And that's how my last relationship ended. So... Fuck you. Again."

"I'm sorry, captain." Koustoff said, looking at her in pain, "I never meant -"

"That's the only reason that you're still alive. I gave you my first. And you bitch slapped me with it. I hate you. But I understand why it happened." She shrugged, still glaring at him, "So how the fuck are you making this up to me?"

He winced, looking down, and then breathed in quickly and looked up, "The festival."

"I'm on duty." She rolled her eyes, "Crown Princess. I have to make some fucking speech about how we're all the same. Like I'd know. I had to bitchslap my sister within moments of us being born, because she was born casting. You assholes debate gods like they're oversized elves with sacks of presents. I've seen dark gods choke people to death with coal, first hand."

"You know... The festival only ends that way." A certain succubus said, one leg hanging off the rafters from where she appeared, as she let them know she'd been spying on them.

Artema tossed a knife from her sleeve.

Saia caught it idly, looking at the sharpness of the blade with appreciation, "Toofy thought you two would be a perfect little couple. I really hate how I have to play sex goddess for my wife all the time. You're only needed for about five minutes, princess. Give him a shot. Void, if he screws it up again, just cut his nuts off and be done with it."

"She hates you, almost as much as Mother." Artema's ears flattened as she glared.

Saia shrugged and dropped to the ground, passing her back the knife with a smile. She smirked and kissed Artema, red eyes flaring as she blocked the stab. "You're almost as cute as Toofy. Give this ugly bastard a chance. Not every day you get to make a tauran do... Anything... You... Want."

Artema rolled her jaw and glared over at him, "Any ideas, auntie?"

"Ew. Don't call me that. Makes me feel old." Saia complained, and then her tail whipped the air, "But torturing the most manly of all creatures? That's damned easy. Make him wear a skirt to the festival for you. And then fuck him in it."

She hated to admit it, but the idea appealed.

--..-..-. -.-- /.....-.-....-. -...-.-. -.-

"Is that the dress you're planning on wearing to the festival?" Elizabeth asked as she clipped one of the leaves. They were both sitting in their tiny one-room apartment, surrounded by hanging pots of all shapes and sizes.

The elf sitting on the ground was darning a hole in a black and white dress. She nodded, a thread in her mouth, "Mmm."

Elizabeth felt somewhat guilty for their circumstances. Two decades ago, the empress had asked her to be her personal alchemist. Kept them in the palace.

However, she had felt uncomfortable being so close to the woman. Considering she had tried to kill Toofy's wife, and had plotted to kill the nekan woman as well.

So, as soon as they were able, she and Xivian had opened their own alchemy shop. With a revoked title, and in the new landscape following the outlawing of slavery, many people had a reason to hate the two of them.

It had been hard going, and they barely kept their heads above the poverty line. Yet, in that time, Xivian's love for her had never faltered. The half-elf who had once been her handmaiden, and now her wife, was loyal to a fault.

When Elizabeth had been a trophy to a man both cold and cruel, she had been able to purchase anything that her heart might desire. Luxury had been her daily comfort. Buying a dozen dresses to pick one for a single party had not been out of the norm for her.

Yet, here she was, unable to buy even a second-hand one to show off her wife. Elizabeth hated that she couldn't seem to come up with a single nice thing she could do to reward Xivian, apart from attending the festival together.

"Brooding." The woman glared at her.

Liz shrugged sheepishly and put aside her garden sheers. "Only as much as ever, Xivian, my dear. Sometimes I do wonder if the world might have been better for the two of us had Lady Twenty Four failed before she ever crossed our path."

"Kaden was antagonising the gods. If not Toofy, then another." Xivian answered rationally and shook her head. "The kitsune who healed Arina? Toofy wasn't the only mad thing happening around us."

Liz shivered, "Gods above. Imagine if Tamamo de Mae had become empress. She might even have been trying, when she attacked the traitor emperor."

"Shit." Xivian cringed, "Had to go and put that image into my head, didn't you?"

The human woman gave a small chuckle, "Oh? Did I dislodge another image that you were focused on? Hmm?"

The halfelf gave a tiny and shy smile, "I heard something in the marketplace, m'lady."

"You only revert to calling me that when your heart desires something." Elizabeth said, smoothly crossing the floor to sit beside her wife, "I confess, I find this rumour you heard to be quite interesting."

Xivian gave a small shrug, "It isn't much... Or polite conversation... But... Apparently the origin of the Halfdark festival was... It was a city wide... Orgy."

"That sounds like our empress." Elizabeth laughed, "Of course she'd usurp something like that for her own purpose."

"I also heard that there will be masks, and that... Well... The opening speech will be given by Princess Ink."

"Oh my." Elizabeth's eyes twinkled, "You don't think the empress would actually do it, do you? She might be a sexual deviant... But... Would she choose to cast our entire city into that chaos?"

"The ministers wouldn't let her..." Xivian said hesitantly.

Liz nodded, "Indeed. Which is precisely why she would conceal it from them and then do it anyways. Time may have passed, but our empress is still herself. The neko that used to slink into my bed and awaken me by... Yes."

"That's my duty, now." Xivian smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Mmm."

The woman put down the dress, "There we are. All fixed. Now then, I believe there was some mention of deviant behaviour, m'lady?"

"Talking about the empress always encourages you." Liz said with mirth.

"She taught me it wasn't a sin to enjoy a woman, or ourselves." Xivian shrugged, "She may have done great evil, m'lady, but she gave us exactly what she promised. Truth be told, I am more than content with our life. I get you, every day. I can even kiss you in front of the customers without fear of retribution."

Liz gave up with talking, kissing her wife deeply. Playing her tongue across Xivian's razor sharp teeth before finding the woman kissing her back, invading her mouth. Liz cradled the back of Xivian's head, pulling them closer together.

Xivian pushed them apart, her face flushed, "M'lady, I must say... I hate that dress you're wearing. It takes you forever to get out of it."

"You never would have dared to say that, before you met Lady Twenty Four." Elizabeth chuckled.

Xivian rolled her eyes, "You never would have dared to kiss me without the seclusion of the garden, before Lady Twenty Four."

"Fair."

The halfelf frowned, "Were you really just attempting to tease me, m'lady? Do we have some pressing matter of work that I am unaware of?"

"No, my love." Liz smiled and kissed her forehead, "We have all the time in the world. You and I, for as long as we both shall live."

With that, the former titled woman took her former handmaiden's hand, and led her over to their bed. Xivian's complaint about was justified. They both became frustrated at the time it took to unknot and release the back to Elizabeth's dress.

The woman who had found freedom in being an alchemist of no renown, of being a human of no importance, of being no one at all, took her love's hand and laid her down on the bed.

Xivian smiled at her mistress, and rolled the both of them over, "No. It is only right that I do for you."

"Let me show you, for once!" Liz complained, flicking the elf onto her back.

The two flipped and turned, grabbing each other's wrists and glaring, neither willing to give into the other. Neither willing to give in.

Liz sighed heavily with Xivian on top of her, "We never have, before... But I'm not willing to give in this time, so..."

"M'lady." Xivian said in shock, "It wouldn't be... Proper."

Elizabeth smiled, "And I am no lady. This is the compromise. So... Sit on my face?"

Xivian rolled onto her back. "Never... But... I would enjoy if..."

They shared one last kiss, teasingly brief, before the elf had her lady's privates fill her gaze. The bush was as carefully trimmed as her plants, though by Xivian's own hand, not her mistress'.

She drew the hips down, to hungrily taste of her wife.

Liz's musty scent filled her nostrils, as she placed her hesitant mouth against the opening, kissing gently, before tasting her. The light and salty taste was gentle, as Xivian's tongue grazed between her lower lips.

Elizabeth's gasp came muffled, and was followed by a moan from Xivian as she felt her wife thrust her tongue forcefully into her own entrance. The two exchanging kiss for kiss, lick for lick, as they lay between each other's legs.

There was nothing fast or rough about their lovemaking.

Endless passion spilled over patiently as each tried to repay the other in kind. They took their time with each other, not seeking to bring anything to a climax. Simply enjoying the feeling of the oneness.

They had nearly lost each other once... Never again.

Eternity would pass them by, and find them unconcerned. Their quiet moans and groans were all the signs of their desire that they needed. No songs of passion, no screams of pleasure, no empty words could contain the truth of their love.

Xivian avoided Elizabeth's sensitive clit, whilst her own rock-like pearl frequently was tugged at by her lover's practised lips. They were different, born to difference, raised to be different. One to be a lord's quiet bride, the other into the meekness of a servant.

Yet all hierarchy, propriety, and faux morality, was lost simply because someone chose to introduce a little chaos into their lives.

Xivian's tongue ran through her mistress' flowing insides as warmth flared to life between her own legs. It almost felt as though she could drown here, beneath Elizabeth's loving ministrations, as the two of the slowly sailed skywards.

In moments like these, in the rapture of Liz's embrace, Xivian could almost swear she could touch the divine.

It was difficult to say which woman cried out first. Impossible to say who trembled and closed their legs first.

It didn't matter.

They spoke as one. "I love you."

--..-..-. -.-- /.....-.-....-. -...-.-. -.-

"Halfway out of the dark." He mused, looking out across the dominion.

Arina used her scythe to stand up tiredly, "Twenty Four has always been creative. Even in a time of strife like this one, she shows her hand openly, before challenging her opponents. It is disturbing how frequently the dice fall in her favour."

"She has succeeded." Death agreed, walking up to her and jealously putting his arms around her waist. "The Green Goddess withholding her bounty will not break the spirit of these people, this time. If she intends to dispose of Mischief's favourite neko, she will need to find another method."

The woman, who had once been human, leaned back into her husband and kissed his cheek. "Was there ever any doubt? Turning the nation against Twenty Four isn't likely to add her to those beneath our care, is it?"

"The many would come in droves, but not the few." He agreed.

Arina smiled cheekily, "Surely you have given it some indecent thought, by now. How would you remove Twenty Four from the playing field, husband?"

"Wait four more decades. Perhaps seven or eight more, depending on her demonic infusion." He chuckled, "Waiting a hundred decades is no hardship, and would pose me no risk. One must only hope the world continues to distract her, so she does not turn her hand to ascension, like Kaden before her."

She giggled, "Twenty Four? A goddess? Never. She hates all of you too much for that. She will remain mortal... Though, I sense a conflict between the two of us if Lord Sai is to predecease her."

"I may have... Taken steps... To prevent that eventuality." Death said nervously.

Arina nodded, "The boy. Lawrence. He is as immortal as Eratigan, is he not?"

"Indeed." Death grinned and kissed her. "I preserved the research from the flames. Our neko will be able to resurrect her husband, or request it of me, should things come to that."

She smiled down at the world, "I love how Twenty Four is pretending not to know about him. That Millie actually thinks her empress doesn't know, when she arranged the whole thing. Apart from your efforts, of course."

"Peace is best had when a neko believes themself in control. Be it Twenty Four, or Milicent." Death said.

Arina sighed and leaned into him, "It seems we have a lull in our work, husband."

"Indeed."

"And I am yet to provide you with an heir." Arina said more pointedly.

"Ah. Am I to take it that you're grateful that I have attempted to protect Toofy?" He asked her, "As much as I am willing to take the credit, my fearless one, I was acting entirely out of self interest. The day she dies, will be as a hundred years in the void, for me. I doubt she will cross willingly to the next life."

Arina turned to him, and leaned into his chest, "I know. I am not entirely ignorant to the ways of the gods, now."

"A far cry from the young naive worshipper of the Green Goddess, that once you were." He agreed and kissed her forehead, "You... Are as beautiful to me as the day you pledged your soul for hers. I am jealous that I must share your affection, my sweetest thing, but it does not influence my decisions."

She kissed his chin, "We must remain aloof. I know. The last time the war barely touched the mortal realm, and Toofy was the result. I pity her. I fear for her. But... I will not warn her what is coming. I can't."

"Now, if we could only convince Eratigan." He said grimly.

Arina rubbed her eyes tiredly, "Death?"

"Yes?"

"F... Fuck me?"

He laughed at his own ineptness and kissed her. The kiss of a divine, joining power without end to form and function. The love of two who carved souls free of regret attempting to commingle in the veil between life and renewal.

She had always been quiet and timid. Even released from fear as she was, Arina hadn't changed that much. She wasn't like Mischief, sowing chaos amongst the gods. She tended to stand a half-step behind her husband when she met the others.

Arina just barely kissed him back, despite wanting him and this. It was who she was, and her own divinity wasn't about to change that. They kissed lightly, the softness of lips meeting, but nothing further.

Around them, the Void trembled as those who willed it to exist were distracted by each other. Pink rose petals tumbled vaguely from a sky that didn't quite exist. Grass and thornless vines sprouting beneath them, black passiflora blooming along the twisting and tangled strands.

He took her head in one hand, as the other held the small of her back, and laid her down onto the fragrant soil. One hand moved to the hem of her skirt, silently asking her for permission.

Arina smiled, breaking the kiss, and gave a tiny timid nod.

His hand slipped inside, fingers curling around the warmth of her womanhood as he cupped her. Not yet invading her, gently walking down the road towards it with gentlemanly kindness.

He kissed her cheek and murmured, "Was the heir merely an excuse? Or is this a true attempt?"

"Does it matter?" She whispered breathlessly, "I... I want the same... Result."

Death kissed her forehead, "To finish inside?"

She bit her lip and nodded silently.

One of his fingers began to gently rub back and forth across her slit, lubricating her, preparing her, and still not taking her as his. To him, she was the blessing. There was nothing to be owned here, only a gift to sometimes be given.

Toofy had wanted to own Arina, and to be owned by. Her wife was a possessive creature. Yet, with her husband, everything was different. He saw nothing as an obligation, everything as a temptation. So he treated her as if he needed to romance her at every pause between breaths.

They were different, and Arina loved them both.

Felt loved and appreciated by both.

She moaned quietly, the air becoming foggy, as he curled his finger deeper inside her. She felt one of her legs trembling weakly, as he expertly, slowly, delved inside to find her sensitive places.

Truth be told, Arina was surprised she had not yet given him an heir with how frequently the two of them had given themselves to each other. Yet, with eternity on the table, they could take their time.

Time itself wasn't an entirely meaningful context in this place.

He found the place she liked the most, brushing and toying with it to make her shake and moan beneath his quiet touch. Her clothing vanished into dust as she wanted more of him, grabbing behind his neck and pulling him against her.

Her nipples were hard in the cold air of the Void, as his warm mouth descended around one of them. Playfully suckling and teasing at her small breast, as he continued to curl his finger inside her.

Arina groaned breathlessly, "Now."

"Now?" He looked up at her.

"Take me. P-please." She whispered.

He released her, repositioning himself so he was poised at her entrance. Arina dragged him down, so that she was wrapped around him as he entered into her. The perfectly fitting god stretching her just right, as he slid easily inside her without a single pause.

She was rendered voiceless by his slow and deliberate thrusting into her. Each movement accompanied by a wave of euphoria, each withdrawal with a plunge of awareness.

He rattled her mind as her husband fucked her. The tempo never rising, never falling, never faltering. She couldn't keep her eyes open with the awe spread throughout her shaking and quivering form.