A Very Toofy Christmas

"Huh?"

Tai smiled at her in amusement, "Still haven't got a grasp on the concept of evil or antagonism, have you?"

"I know the words..." Eratigan said slowly and shrugged, "But when I try and think about what they mean, the thought just sort of turns into angry unigrad dust. Too hard to 'member."

He shook his head in amusement, "You're not missing out on anything, Eri. So. I brought you the picnic. You promised me something amazing."

"I did!" The witch said excitedly, pulling a small black leather box out of her bra, that shouldn't have fit, and holding it aloft. "I present to you, the hopes and dreams of a neverborn girl, cooked into a cupcake! Nothing sweeter in the entire 'verse. Tastes like popcorn rainbows, but without the devil bargaining."

She handed it to her boyfriend, staring at him as he opened the box to reveal a cupcake that looked like it had been iced with a swirling aurora.

Tai glanced towards her, "It's prettier than your surprises usually are."

"Taste! Taste!" She clapped and squealed.

He looked at her nervously, before picking up the baked good and giving it a little nibble. He shuddered as it hit his tongue, and looked at her in disappointment. "It tastes cursed."

Her face dropped, and she bit her lip as she went to burst into tears, "It isn't... Good?"

"I'd say it is pure, vile, evil." Tai sighed heavily, "Sorry, Eratigan. It isn't your fault. You don't really understand that stuff. But I can't eat it."

She sniffled, "Sorry."

"You're still worth my time." Tai said proudly, cupping her cheek, "Want to try something that I brought?"

"Fluffy." She requested, as she began to cry.

Tai picked up a plate and extended it towards her. "Rice pudding. One of your favourites."

She took it and opened her mouth. Tai put a teaspoon into her mouth, and she sucked the smooth and fluffy material in. Eratigan gave a shy smile towards the god of time, and mumbled, "Love."

"Me? Or the pudding?" He teased her.

She giggled, and began to eat her dessert, "Mostly the pudding. But the doting boyfriend isn't so bad, either. So... What's the occasion? Been about twenty years since you've taken me on a date."

"I got forbidden from taking you on dates after the last time, where you interfered by saving Toofy." Tai said blankly, "Which, incidentally... Have you been stirring up trouble, again?"

Eratigan cocked her head, "What do you mean?"

"Toofy. Did you save her, again?" Tai glared at her.

She went as white as her hair, "Ooooh. That. Kinda. I didn't really... I just sort of helped her notice something was missing... She found the boy all on her own. She's not exactly stupid."

"The Green Goddess is seriously pissed off with you."

Eratigan turned up her nose, "Well, she can go jump off a cliff! She's always mad at me. I don't get it. I try and be nice, all the time!"

"Oh, Eri." Tai chuckled, "She gets upset with you, because she can't touch you. You can't comprehend her hatred, and so have ignored her attempts to kill you for the last thousand years."

Eratigan cocked her head, "What's she been trying to do to me? It sounds sexual. She knows that you're my boyfriend, right? That I'm spoken for."

"She does. She's also filed several formal requests that I stop your sands pouring." Tai chuckled, "Don't worry, I wouldn't. Even if I could... Which I can't. Because you cannot comprehend death."

She shrugged, eating her pudding, "Sorry, Tai. I am trying to pay attention... But I've got no idea what you're bubbling up about. It's all just lox and orc to me."

"That's basically what I was saying." He smiled in amusement.

Eratigan finished her bowl, and sucked on her spoon, "I'm confused. So... Am I allowed to kiss my boyfriend? Or are the other deities still pissy that I... What is it, again? I'm supposed to have... Not... Died? Whatever that is."

"Did you miss me?" Tai answered her question, with his own.

The white-haired woman nodded her head, looking at him longingly, "Of course I did. I understand we can't be together, always. Me, a lowly human. You, the god of time. I might fool around with others, now and then... But I always miss you."

"I don't really know if you completely qualify as human, Eri." He chuckled, "Most humans live in fear. Afraid of disease, pain, death. You're something... Different. You're the only human who has ever seen me."

She crossed her arms, "Then why can't you stay?"

"I'm always here. Always watching you." Tai replied gently, "Alas, the others are quite afraid of you, and what you might become. You could probably become a deity, if you tried."

She raised an eyebrow, "Become a god? Sounds boring. But, ignoring that... You watch me? How many times do you perve on me in the shower, Tai?"

"I'm a god. I can do whatever I like."

"Then kiss me." She pouted.

"I would. But you saved the kitten."

Eratigan cocked her head, "So...?"

"It was supposed to die. You stopped that from happening. Again."

She shrugged, "I don't really know what that means, Tai. Everyone always uses those stupid words like I'll eventually get it. How long has it been since I was supposed to die? A thousand years? Still don't know what I didn't do."

"I know. I love you for it." He said in amusement, "But... Well... This time the gods have sort of lost their temper with you. I know you won't understand... But they cursed you. This will be our last picnic in a very long time."

"No fair!" Eratigan exploded, "I can't even have sex with my boyfriend without bitches trying to feel me up!"

Tai cupped her cheek, "I really do love you, Eri. But... Unless you can break the curse, you'll never get to see me again. You might want to dump me."

"How can I break a curse when I don't know what a curse is!?" She burst into tears, grabbing at his hand. "Don't leave me, Tai. Please."

"I don't have a choice." He shook his head, "But we do get this. One last picnic."

"I don't want any more puddings." She sniffled, "I just want you!"

He pulled her into his lap, hugging her and resting his chin on her head. "I know, I know. I don't want to lose you either. And I will be watching you, always. But I'm not strong enough to fight all of the others, on my own."

"If... If I became a god... Would they let us be together?"

"No."

"I don't understand! Why are they so mean to me?" Eratigan cried into his chest.

He ran a hand through her long and flowing hair, "They're afraid of you, Eri. They're afraid of things that they don't understand. I love you because you can't comprehend evil. They shit themselves because you can't."

"Tell me how to break the curse." She demanded.

Tai hugged her tighter, "For that... You would have to die."

"I don't understand what that means!"

"I know, bunny." He kissed her forehead, "That's the point. That's entirely the point. An impossible task, for you. That's... Why I said you should give up on me."

"Never." Eratigan growled, "And if this is the last time I get you, then I am taking you. I'm not really in the mood, but I don't care. You're my boyfriend, and not even the rest of your horrible family can stop that."

Tai spluttered for a moment, and the white-haired witch smiled up at him suddenly, "You were hoping I'd say that, weren't you?"

"Sort of. I wasn't allowed to suggest it. But I have missed you."

Eratigan giggled, wiping at her tears and looking up, "Remember the time we screwed on the moon? That was fun. Luna caught us. She was so mad."

"We were in her backyard." Tai brushed lightly at her cheek, "We had fun, in those days. Before the others learned to be afraid of you."

The witch's face screwed up, "Luna tried to seduce me, back then. Now she just tries to dunk me if I go swimming. It's kinda boring, always playing the same game."

"She's trying to drown you. Not dunk you." Tai replied, "But, I expect that nuance is lost on you. Let's... Forget the others. All that matters is you and me."

Eratigan giggled again, "You're kinda in the mood, aren't you, Tai? Been watching me bathe for so long, unable to touch."

"You're the only living thing I can touch without sucking the life out of it." Tai replied and squeezed her tighter, "I have missed everything about this."

She kissed his cheek, "You're never here when I want you. But... I still love you. My perfect boyfriend."

"Then perhaps this boyfriend should do his best to make it up to you, and to put you in the mood to enjoy our last dalliance."

Eratigan grinned at him, "Yes, please."

She wouldn't admit it openly, but the witch hadn't been all that interested in the picnic and food. It was sweet of him, but if she wanted to go on a food safari, she'd just do that.

Ever since he'd told her that they had an appointment, she had been looking forward to him putting her on the ground and dragging off her clothes.

Tai was gentle, as he laid her down on the rug. He was also a showoff, as he snapped his fingers to burst every seam in her dress and underthings, letting the wind whip her clothes away.

Eratigan rolled her eyes, "I paid good money for that dress."

"No, no you didn't." Tai chuckled, scooting himself in-between her legs and planting a kiss, like a signature, on her white bush. "You made them yourself. And I can fix them afterwards."

It was difficult to fluster the god of time, itself. That had never stopped her trying, though. He was fun to flirt with.

"You always just assume you can fix anything." Eratigan pretended to be cross with him. Enjoying the role of a brat.

His tongue touched her, and she spread a contented smile over her face as he began to warm her up. The familiar feeling stirring deep inside, as he slipped his tongue along her slit.

"Mmm." She murmured, "Keep doing that, and I might forgive the dress."

He lifted his head, going to speak, but she just shoved his head back where it belonged. Even for a god, Tai spoke far too much.

With his every motion, Eratigan felt a taste of the divine, little lights of shadow from the edge of the neverwere, sprinkles crafted by the essence of creation.

She could feel the moistness, her body issuing forth a decree of desire with a smell she'd never really liked. It always clung to everything, like a gopher.

He began to lap away at her, like a kittycat, as she began to drip with the passion of the flesh. Of the eternity she'd spent waiting for him to do something like this.

"Mmm. Silver tongue. Quicksilver." She murmured, grasping his hair happily, "Eat me right on up. Never get tired of that."

A shadow cast across them both, but Eratigan neither saw nor really cared what was casting it. She saw lots of shadows, which didn't seem to have a source. The watchers who didn't exist.

"Mmm... More." She gave a little demand, "I want more, Tai. Put something inside me, please."

"A finger, or something else?"

Eratigan giggled, "Oh, something else. Definitely. Something nice and throbbing. And then something nice and gooey."

"You managed to phrase that the least appetising way possible." Tai complained, but he was still standing to pull down his pants.

She grinned and blew out the seams on his clothes with a wink of her heart-shaped eye. Giggling as he glared at her.

"Fair's fair. I guess." Tai said, crossly.

She lifted her legs a little, sliding her feet up the picnic rug, "You're not mad at me, are you? Not going to be rough with your girlfriend?"

He knelt down, before sliding himself up and down her entrance, "That depends. Does she want rough?"

"Oh, just shut up and fuck me." Eratigan rolled her eyes at his utter failure to take a hint.

She let out a small involuntary whimper as she felt him pushing into her and filling her out in all the right ways. Perfectly shaped, as only a god could be. Her thigh muscles trembled at his touch, as she threatened to find bliss before he even did anything to her. Which was entirely unfair of him.

She clamped herself down on him, grunting as she tried to massage him within her channel. Face a fixture of determination.

Tai didn't take his time with her. All time was his. He didn't make sweet love to her. He did as she asked and began to fuck her. His hips slamming repeatedly into hers, as he pumped himself in and out of her.

"Oh, fuck." Eratigan moaned beneath him, "That's it. Oh, fuck, yes. Oh, I missed this. Fuck the shit out of me, Tai. Oh, yes."

Fireworks burst in the distant horizon, announcing the beginning of Toofy's festival. Eratigan would have liked to go, but it was more fun, here. She whispered breathlessly as he grunted into her, "Boom boom."

Lights burst behind her eyes as she came, flooding like treacle around the thrusting yummy deep inside her. The White Witch cried out, her voice filling the air and shaking the stagnation out of it.

Inspiring a storm into being as he continued to fuck her right through her orgasm. Shifting every card in every hand, stacking the deck against the dealer, as her glistening pussy was invaded.

Secrets forever meant to remain that way were shown the light of day, as she arched beneath her boyfriend. Untold possibilities of overlapping timelines broke free of their structures, resurrecting the unimagined.

Fate and destiny fell away, red strands broken, as Eratigan pulled at her boyfriend's back, begging him to join her as he ploughed into her. Demanding he stake his claim deep inside her.

A forgotten stray beneath a mountain was woken from an endless and deep slumber. Vertical eyes blinking open, black scales rippling as their endless sleep was blasted apart by Eratigan screamed out her orgasm.

The seed of the divine bloomed inside her, a lily flowing downriver. She kissed his cheek, "Yes! Fuck, yes! Give me pretty lights! Break me free!"

In a distant land, beyond the sight of the empire, a woman with purple eyes and pink hair breathed in sharply, thumbing herself through an orgasm as the vision of a human man was suddenly forced inside her skull.

Eratigan smiled and snuggled against Tai, "Better than pudding."

--..-..-. -.-- /.....-.-....-. -...-.-. -.-

A blonde-haired catgirl skipped happily down an alleyway lit only by the red fireworks overhead. She was wearing a white dress with a silver belt cinched tight around her waist.

She had a traditional mask sitting on the side of her head, a depiction of the moon god, Luna. A silver-furred catgirl god, who loved sex almost as much as Salmon did.

In her hand was another mask, an imitation of a black-scaled salamander. The old king of dragons, Irrlichdan. She hoped her master would like it, but she never could tell if Reeni would.

Salmon missed a step as two men stepped out of the shadows, their scents concealed by the festival. She groaned and kicked herself, "Oh, Reeni's going to be so pissed with her..."

One of them smiled, "Now, this won't do. It isn't safe for a neko here..."

"Yeah. You're lucky you met us. We'll keep you safe." The other laughed coldly.

Salmon took a faltering step backwards, and slipped her mask around so it was covering her properly. She swallowed nervously, "Um... Salmon not feeling safe... Maybe men go away? She... Doesn't wanna be responsible."

The first laughed, "We can't leave a woman in distress, now, can we? Why don't you just come with us, kitten?"

"The Salmon is taken. Has... Mistress." She lifted her hands to cover her eyes, the only part of her face unprotected by the mask.

"Don't worry. I'm sure your mistress won't mind you keeping us company." The second laughed.

The buildings either side of the alley shifted as a concussive boom struck the ground. A bell jingled quietly. A deep and angry voice growled, "Disagree."

Salmon's ears flattened and her tail dropped as she felt her mistress strike twice. She whimpered and spread her fingers, peering with her golden eyes out at the scene.

The blue salamander stood up, rolling her shoulder blades. The only thing she was wearing was a silver anklet, with her hard-earned golden bell fitted onto it. The woman turned and glared at the catgirl, "We said no hunting. Not during Halfdark. You agreed!"

"Salmon wasn't!" She protested, moving her mask back to the position she'd found cute. "She promises, Reeni! She was just coming back, even with present! It isn't her fault assholes always find her!"

The salamander rolled her eyes, and then growled. A freezing mist spilling out of her jaws and turning the two idiots into popsicles for a more hungry dragon to enjoy.

Reenhalla crossed her arms, "Bad kitty."

She burst into tears, and fell to her knees. Wailing in pain, knowing that she had annoyed her master, again. She stared at the ground, wiping at her cheeks and desperately trying to stop herself from crying.

The salamander growled in irritation, "Not... Not cry... I not hate you."

"Salmon stupid. Always so stupid. Hurts her Reeni." She wailed, pulling at one of her ears in distress.

The freezing blue scales grazed her as Reenhalla's thick tail wrapped around her waist, lifting her up as the dragon pulled her into a tight cuddle. The woman growled quietly, her tongue flicking out to wipe at the catgirl's tears.

Salmon sniffled, "Sh-she loves you, too. S-sorry."

"Always love. Brat." Reenhalla just about crushed her in her arms, "So why run off, this time? Pretty mask?"

"So pretty!" Salmon sniffed, touching it. "Like Luna! Never had something like this, before. She's going to keep it."

The dragon leaned their heads together, "Suit you. We watch fireworks?"

"Mm." Salmon nodded enthusiastically.

The ground cracked and Salmon squealed as Reenhalla leapt skywards, her wings flaring briefly to land them gently atop a nearby roof. The salamander licked at her cheek again, "Love kitty."

Salmon giggled and then her eyes opened wide as she remembered. She held aloft the other mask proudly, "Got present for the Reeni!"

The salamander took it dubiously, claws clacking on the hard surface, "Huh. King."

"Reeni is Salmon's king!" She said and briefly squeezed at the dragon's dick, giggling as she did.

The salamander glowered, but didn't move her hand. "Still have both bits. Not king. Not queen. I certain it because you play with both. Make unable transition."

The catgirl shrugged, "Not want transition. Reeni not want. She like it that Salmon plays with both."

"Not."

Salmon blinked, "Want it."

"Not!" Reenhalla insisted, whilst her lustful musk spread out in the air.

The catgirl rolled her eyes and turned around. She went down on her hands and knees, bracing herself. She looked backwards, "The Reeni could one day just admit she want Salmon's pussy."

The dragon smiled sheepishly, "Not."

"Fighting make her hooorny." Salmon teased.

"Not." Reeni said, pulling aside the catgirl's underwear and splitting her in half with a single thrust. Salmon cooed, "Oooh! Ooh, Reeni! Fuck her kitty! So bad! Always get in trouble!"

She felt cold falling across her back, as Reenhalla grabbed her hips and thrust into her. Gently for a salamander. Earth shaking for a neko. Her girlfriend was strong enough to break her without trying, and Salmon adored it.

Loved the ice and snow when they played, falling from those hungry lips. Adored the fact that once this solid rod had filled her, she had Reenhalla's cloaca to play with.

Her blonde hair shook, tinkling like wind chimes from the frozen threads cracking, with each thrust of the salamander inside her. Salmon stared across the city, unseeing, lost in the bliss of the moment.

Her heat cycle didn't really seem to matter a damn. She practically wanted to live with Reenhalla deep inside her.

Salmon breathed in as she remembered, "Oh, fuck. No ice! No ice... Near..."

The salamander picked up their thrusting, trying to stop the catgirl from being able to think. It was highly effective.

"Ooh. Oh. Oh." Salmon moaned, claws gripping the ground tightly. "F-fuck! She loves the Reeni! Fuck!"