A Wife, A Secret Life and Discovery

So when Ava's lips pressed against mine, It was the fond warm memories that flooded my mushy brain. Endorphins firing rapidly. There was no way to stop it.

As the kiss ended, I said. "Yeah, no worries. Lunch might be nice."

She wandered of, after saying a final goodbye to Leeza. I sat there, in a cloud of confusion, wondering what just happened?

Leeza, brought us out fresh drinks and sat beside me. Her leg draped lazily over mine. "Holy shit dude. I didn't realise she was your wife!"

"Hey, why are you complaining. You got a job didn't you?"

"Yeah, sweet aye. Fuck, I might be able to pay my rent next month."

"Leeza, if you needed money. You only had to ask."

"Ah, no way dude. I would never ask for money. Shit, give me some credit."

"I didn't mean that. I was just saying. I know how hard it is to get by at Uni. I remember it, I'm not totally over the hill."

"You... Your folks musta had plenty of dosh. Bet you didn't have to take out a student loan."

"No, I didn't. But I did have to work. They paid my tuition, but I paid for everything else."

"lets stop talking about money. I wasn't trying to be mean." She sealed her request with a long searing kiss. Unlike Ava's, this one was full of hunger, urgency and lust. It grew quickly, and we were back in the bedroom making love.

We clambered out of bed, much later. We cooked a late dinner, and then it was back to the bedroom for the last session of the day. Bloody hell, the girl was a sexual dynamo. She was definitely hard to keep up with. It certainly made me feel my age. I have to say she invigorated me, but wow, so ravenous.

Sunday, we went for a drive. Had lunch at a nice restaurant. Did some sightseeing, as I played tour guide. While we drove, we talked.

"You know Ian. Ava, seems really nice, and you obviously care for her. Are you sure there's no going back for you?"

"If you'd asked me that question last week. I would have said no chance. Now, I don't know."

"Yeah, I can see why, She's pretty hot."

"Oh yeah." I said jokingly. "Fancy that do you?"

She smirked, giggled, and nodded. "Actually. Yeah I do."

"You're joking right?" I said in shock.

She shook her head. "Okay, you want honesty. You know I'm bisexual, with the emphasis on bi. Most recently, all my partners have been female."

"I know, you told me this already, which brings me back to What the hell are you doing with me?"

"Lesbians, are no different to every other human on the planet. They're capable of cheating. My last girlfriend turned out to be a real bitch. When I bumped into you that night. I just wanted somebody to hold me, make me feel wanted. You were perfect for me."

"If you feel that way, like girls are your preference. Shouldn't you be chasing girls?"

"I'm bi. I like both. I think my life partner will be female. It's sort of where I'm most comfortable."

"So, I'm just keeping the bed warm for some luscious babe?"

"Yeah, pretty much. I mean, we're having fun aren't we? I know I am. I like you Ian. I think we're good for each other."

"Yes, we are. By the way. I like you as well. You're pretty special."

Sh shocked me when she asked. "Do you think she offered me the job to control me, split us up?"

"No, I don't think so, but it stunned me. It also highlights why I'm struggling to reconcile with her. She deceived me so easily. Honestly. She could be bullshitting both of us."

"I don't think so. She seemed sincere."

Leeza, stayed Sunday night, and I dropped her off at Uni, before heading to work. The office was a chance to chill out and consider Ava's proposal.

The bit that hurt, and I couldn't quite get my head around... She was right. The last couple of years of our marriage had been amazing. I never felt cheated, or that I missed out on anything. She had been there for m in every way, including sexually.

When I weighed up the pros and cons. It came out pretty even. I missed Ava. Saturday was evidence of that. I enjoyed her company. We shared a lot of history. Having Leeza in my bed, only reinforced how much I missed the intimacy of having Ava in my bed.

What did it really matter if she got up to mischief on her travel days? When I thought about it logically. What if she did play up while she travelled?

Sounds easy, but it went against my principles. Marriage was supposed to be about commitment, and trust.

Ava, walked into the office, at lunchtime, looking stunning as she always did. She walked up to my desk, and opened her arms. We shared a light welcoming kiss. "Are you still up for lunch my love?"

"Yeah, I kept it free. We could walk up to the place on the corner. They do a nice lunch."

As we found a seat, She asked. "How did the rest of your weekend go?"

"Very well. Leeza hadn't seen much of the country out there. So we did some touring."

"She seems like a lovely girl?"

"Yeah, she's a cutie."

"Apparently. She likes oral sex, which must be a bonus."

I chuckled softly. "She does enjoy it, yes."

"So I noticed." Her tone was flirtatious, and teasing rather than bitter and bitchy... "Was she just a revenge fuck, or was there more to it?"

"It wasn't about revenge, Ava. It was about me rediscovering some masculinity. I needed to know that some woman found me a good sexual partner."

"Ian, stop it. Don't play the victim. You are much better than that. Yes, I get it. You were hurt, your ego was bruised. It didn't have to be. Reed is not a better lover than you. He was merely kinkier."

"You keep saying that Ava, but you didn't know that when you met him. You can't have. So when you went to bed with him the first time. It was just like any other man on the planet. Which means, you were just looking for something more. Something I wasn't giving you."

"That's not entirely true. Reed was a very forceful flirty man, a dominant."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Are you sure you want to talk about this?"

"Yes, I think if we can't get past talking about it. We would never be able to live it."

She nodded. "Good point. Okay then. Reed, is one of those confident people. Some might say brash. That was the first thing I noticed about him. He complimented me, flattered me. We were at a conference, and he sat with me, during breaks, and lunch."

"A real charmer." I muttered disparagingly.

"Ian, do you want to hear this or not?"

"Yeah, carry on."

"Well, we went to dinner together, and he was quite forward. He said something like. 'God you're beautiful. I'd like to take you up to my room and fuck your brains out.' I was stunned, and slapped his face. I was totally embarrassed."

She sipped her Chardonnay, and checked my reaction before continuing.

"After I slapped his face, he said. "Now you will have to get a spanking, as well." I was shocked by his brazenness. He didn't care. He stared into my eyes and said. 'The thought of that excites you doesn't it?'

"I wanted to slap him again. To say no. The problem was. I was aroused, unbelievably so. His words excited me to such a level. I felt my tummy doing somersaults. My skin tingled."

I wanted to say something, but her confession/ admission left me speechless.

"Ian, you and I never talked about these things. Golly we had never even discussed things like fantasies, or previous lovers. Nothing. Here was this strange man telling me he wanted to spank me. It made me uncomfortable, because he read my reaction. He knew I was excited."

"Sounds like a real player to me." I snapped.

"I suppose he was. But he got to me, and I can't explain why. He said things like he wanted to see if I tasted as good as I looked. He asked if I liked sucking cock."

She actually blushed as those words stuttered from her mouth. I had never heard her say the word cock before. Pillow talk wasn't something we did.

"That shocks you doesn't it Ian?"

I nodded, chewing thoughtfully on my bottom lip.

"We were like that for eighteen months, I was incredibly attracted to him. Every time we met, he became bolder, talked about things like tying me up, blindfolding me. Putting me over his knee and spanking me. Whipping me, abusing me. I should have been insulted, offended. The truth is, I was ever more aroused and interested.

"He seduced you."

"Yes he did. After I met Jodi, my interest escalated. It got to the stage I actually wanted it. So I knew exactly what I was getting into. If he hadn't piqued my interest. I would have slapped him again and walked away."

"You're saying it was the suggestion of kinky sex that made up your mind?"

"Yes... You already gave me more sex than I could ever want. I was completely satisfied. It was the suggestion that there was more that drew me in. He sent me links to porn sites. Me Ian. I watched porn."

I chuckled. "Sorry, I can't imagine that."

"I know, I felt terribly embarrassed and ashamed. But I was ashamed, not because I felt it was wrong, but because I loved it."

"Why didn't you talk to me?"

"I was barely able to understand it myself. How in heavens name was I ever going to talk to you? I don't mean this to sound harsh, but as wonderful as our sex life was. This stuff was way off the spectrum."

"But if you had talked to me, we could have worked it out."

"Really? You actually think That? Ian, I love you but I cannot ever see you beating, or tying me up. It's just not who you are."

"Bullshit, Ava. I could quite happily spank you right now."

She laughed softly, her infectious smile lighting the air around us. "I bet you would, but it wouldn't be sexual. It would be to hurt me wouldn't it."

"Yes you're probably right."

She grimaced, with an embarrassed smile. "I would love you to try though."

"Lets get back to your proposition."

"You're seriously considering it?"

"I'm open to it. You wanted honesty, then here it is. I approached this with a sort of risk assessment. Pros and cons. The pros are, I miss you, I don't like living alone. I can't be bothered going through the dating scene again. Not at my age. The cons are. I have to live with and accept your affair. I have to forgive you, and I'm just not sure I can."

She reached for and gripped my hand tightly. "I miss you as well my love. God I miss you. I miss our home, our life together, our friends."

"I feel the same. I can't be bothered trying to work through or even how to approach dating."

She giggled cheekily. "I can't imagine it either you know. I love you Ian, this has proved that beyond doubt. I did a very selfish entitled thing. I broke your trust and I will be forever sorry for that. I realise I will probably never win that back entirely."

"Ava, I'm not going to live the rest of my life as your jailer. If we decide we can reconcile, then it has to be complete. I don't want to have to be constantly wondering, worrying. If we can be honest with each other. It removes that element."

She nodded acceptingly as she listened. "I want us to find a decent counsellor, and we would both have to commit to it on hundred percent. Then slowly, we try to put everything back together. In exchange, you would be free to spend time with Leeza... Occasionally."

"That's probably not going to happen. Leeza, is a young woman. She will find a partner. We may get together a few times, but I assure you. That has an expiry date."

"Oh dear, that is sad. I like her. She seemed to genuinely care for you."

"Ava, she's twenty years old. It might be fun for her at the moment, but she will soon tire of me."

"Gosh, you put yourself down you know. You are a very handsome man Ian. The years have been kind to you. Woman find you attractive. I am astounded by how envious my friends are. They all think you are so wonderful. Were you available, I promise. You would not be single for long."

"Perhaps, I don't know about that."

"Ian, I have never lied to you. I deceived you, but I never lied to you."

"So you say. Excuse me if I disagree. By omitting information. You told me lies."

She scowled. "Very well, how do we get passed that?"

Finishing the last of my lunch. I sighed. "I'm not sure we can."

"Gosh, so much anger."

We finished lunch, and I apologised. "Sorry, Ava. I have a client coming in fifteen minutes. I have to go."

"God, this isn't going to work is it, you haven't forgiven me at all." She sighed defeatedly.

"No I haven't. This isn't about forgiveness at the moment Ava. That might come in time, but not yet. This is about us finding a way to get back together and trying again."

"I don't know what else I can do Ian. I made you a promise, but if you don't trust me. What can I do?"

"I don't know. Maybe we should rethink this whole thing."

"No." She snorted loudly. The hub bub in the room went quiet. "Shit." Ava, muttered. "Can we talk tonight, after work maybe?"

"Yeah, I think somewhere more private."

"Come to my hotel. I'll order room service."

"Fine, text me the hotel, and room number. Say seven?"

"Yes, thank you." As we walked out. She drew me into an embrace, and we kissed. Just like the previous Saturday. It filled me with memories.

Trust her to get the best hotel in town. I knocked on her door, and she opened it looking spectacular. "Wow, very nice. Are you expecting company, should I come back later?"

"That is enough of that smarty pants. You are who I am expecting."

The suite was pretty amazing. Very expensive, and very plush. As she poured me a drink. I wandered out onto her balcony overlooking the city. The vista stretched out before me. The Hauraki gulf, the ships, the harbour bridge. The sounds of the city.

"Stunning, isn't it?" She said holding my glass beside me.

"Yeah, I'll say. It must be costing you a pretty penny."

"Yes, it's not cheap. Can we talk now?"

"Yeah, I think we should."

"I want to come home. This is a lovely suite, but it isn't our home. I want to sleep in our bed. In your arms. I said to you that I would do anything. I meant that. If you trust me so little. I am prepared to do whatever it takes to achieve that. If that means no more travelling, fine. No working late, fine. No business dinners where you don't attend, fine. I will do all of that."

"Can your business accommodate that?"

"For the moment, yes. I need to take on some extra staff, and do something I have never done. Delegate. I have never trusted others, and I have kept all of these tasks for myself. At the end of the day. I don't care, today. I assessed my life, and the most important thing is you, and our children. If my business fails. Then perhaps it was always meant to."

Our conversation was cut short by a knock on the door. "That will be room service."

She disappeared back inside to collect the food. "Would you like to eat out there Ian?" She called out.

The table small, intimate. The food delicious. We ate in silence. Sipped our wine, stared at each other. Both too scared to break the spell that settled over us.

I could see by her actions, Ava was nervous. She broke the silence. "Is that acceptable Ian?"

"No, not really. I find myself in a quandary. Yes, I could accept those conditions. It is after all what I asked for. However, it's clear from what you said to me. It's not what you want. Is that a fair comment?"

"I don't care, I just want us back together again."

"No, Ava. That doesn't work for me. We would then be living a different lie. You pretending to be happy, but in reality. You would miss the other side of your persona. Then the bitterness, and resentment would slowly creep in and we might be together, but the love wouldn't be there. It would never work."

I think she realised it as well. She didn't respond with her usual alacrity.

"Then what do you suggest?" She said with a defeated sigh.

"I don't know. It's that simple. I'm prepared to try some of the things you suggested. I can try to keep your dark side satisfied."

She smiled, the room all the brighter for it. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, we can try. If it doesn't work out, at least we could say we tried."

"Yes, thank you Ian. I do mean that because I know you well enough to know, it's not who you are."

I sniggered suggestively. "Would you trust me with a whip in my hand, knowing how much resentment I still carry?"

She looked perplexed. "Yes, I would. You cannot enter into something like that, if you do not have complete faith in the other person. After all, I would be tied up and blindfolded. Totally at your mercy. If you broke our trust. It would be over. I couldn't cede that control if I didn't trust you."

"Okay then. Seems like we have some new adventures to explore."

She jumped into my arms, our mouths collided in a fearsome passion laden kiss. We fell to the thick carpeted floor. Her body atop mine. "Make love to me baby. Make me yours again."

"Oh no you don't. You hurt me Ava, and for that you have to be punished."

Scowling, she snapped. "I beg your pardon?"

"Take your panties off."

"I will do no such thing." She said firmly.

"I said, take your fucking panties off, and I mean now."

"Are you serious?" She spluttered nervously.

"Take them off, or I'll rip them off."

She shimmied out of them, her hips wiggling as she slid them down. Once off, she handed them to me, dangling on her index finger.

"Thank you. Now, lie over my knee."

"Ian..."

"Do as you're bloody told."

She moved slowly, her body prone over my knees. "Good, now lift up your dress and expose your arse."

Slowly she lifted the hem of her dress, and her milky white arse came into view. "I'm sorry, Ava. This is going to hurt."

She said nothing, but I felt her fingers digging into the soft flesh of my ankle. Even I was shocked as the first slap landed. The crack of my hand smacking down on her arse. I felt her shiver uncontrollably, and I heard a little whimper.

The next few slaps grew in intensity. Th smacks louder and louder. Her cheeks becoming a bright red under the impact.

"Open your legs." I demanded. This time there was no fight, her legs parted, and my hand slid between her creamy thighs. I rubbed her vulva roughly, amazed at the slipperiness. She was aroused.

I slid first one then two fingers into her gooey centre. Her vagina convulsing frantically.

Then it was back to the slaps. Five, six. Then back to massaging her wet squishy pussy. Then more slaps, harder and harder. Each time my anger dissipated a little more. Her squirming body rubbed my dick, which had grown hard.

I mixed the slaps with the finger blasting, her pussy, now a sodden gooey mess of quivering flesh. She squirmed, trembled, and cried as I raised the level. Hitting her far harder than I intended.

It was as I rained down a withering group of heavy smacks, that she came. A thunderous orgasm which caused her to jerk and shudder so much, she fell off my knee.

"Oh my god." Sh sobbed, curled in a little ball at my feet. Her body shivering.

I fell to my knees beside her. Only then realising how hard I had been hitting her.

"Jesus, I'm so sorry Ava. Shit, oh dear. Are you okay?"

She quickly grabbed my hand, pulling her self up beside me. "Ian, it was wonderful. Don't be sorry. I adored it."

"But your bum, it looks tender."

"It hurts like hell." She sniggered. "So wonderfully painful. Now, will you please take me to bed and make love with me?"

Her naked body stretched out on the bed below me. Her legs wide, inviting. I kissed every square centimetre of her flesh. Her breasts succulent soft, with nipples so erect, they felt like gem stones.

Her luscious pussy tasted as I remembered. Delicious, her arousal coating my tongue, as I fucked her with it. Her orgasm was all encompassing, and she repaid me by sucking my cock deep into her mouth. As if I wasn't hard enough already.

Pushing her onto her back, I sank my cock deep into her sweltering slick pussy, in one brutal thrust.

"Is Leeza, better at cock sucking?" She asked, breathlessly. Is she a better fuck?"