All Comments on 'A Wife's Dark Talent'

He will be less than human now. Get out now. His wife is an evil monster that does not like men, even her husband.

Well... Jaime certainly likes toying with men. Teasing, humiliating, denying them. And I think she thinks Henry wants that from her too. She just thinks he is not willing to admit it yet.

The husband is why out of his league. He only has two Choices, one divorce her ASAP or two fully except that she will be or already is your dominant Superior Mistress wife and there will be no going back. She will fuck you the rest your life..

I gave it 5 stars. The concept is very exciting and you write very well. I’ve started and stopped reading this story twice because pages 1 & 2 led me to believe it wasn’t engaging. I get the importance of background and character development but personally I think if you condensed both pages into 2-3 paragraphs your ratings would improve. Thanks for sharing.

Five stars for the development of the story, but four stars for grammar and editing.

Why would he want to be married to this woman? She's a selfish complacent slut and nothing more. His intellect is miles above her. And if he divorces her, he'll get plenty of alimony from her. So let's get out of this morbid marriage!

By far the most creative conceptualization I’ve read in a very long while. The story is fantastic and I’ll be going to the next chapter shortly. I disagree that it was too wordy at the start. Rather, I’d suggest you were struggling to articulate Henry’s hidden desire to be dominated with the fear that his wife would find out or he might be forced to share her with others. Regardless, it’s a difficult conflict to draft.

Once the story got moving however, WOW! That evolved quickly! I’d suggest quite naturally though.

I’d say Jaime must have been a method actor in school!

5 stars

Yeah, this is pretty terrible.

I immediately became immersed in this tale, and although it be but late and I'm very tired, I will read another chapter. I like your style and the careful reveal of your characters as you develop the plot. My only criticism is in the editing. Some of the prose is awkward in some places, even jarring, interrupting the flow as you read through. This impacts the build up of tension and can redirect the reader out of the story entirely.

I fully understand how in being excited to get your work out in public you willingly forego having a fresh pair of eyes look it over and catch what your natural blinders prevent you from quickly spotting. As writers we are all guilty of this from time to time- especially in the pieces that we most enjoy writing.

In work as fine as this, editorial mistakes really stand out. Consider working with an editor if you are not already.

~Bullwip (5 stars)