All Comments on 'Adventures of a College Cuckcake Ch. 03'

Please proof read your work. Misspelled words wrong words. Some lines don’t make sense. Otherwise I like the story

Like your story. Develop your sex and punishment scenes more fully. I mean a young dominatrix with a paddle what could go wrong. Get inside your characters thoughts during and after the scenes. There are a lot of ways to take the story. Enjoy the telling and if anyone trolls your story forget them. Entertain the readers with your imagination.

There are lots of points where the names get crossed - Hannah/Donna get interchanged a lot, which takes the reader out of the story while trying to sort out who's speaking, etc.

Might be a good idea to work with one of the volunteer editors at Literotica - the story is worth the effort to get it right.

Great. Dreaming of next chapter

Love the story line. Still in need of serious edits. As mentioned in the other comments I agree the scenes are a bit rushed. I still found the stories hot and orgasmic

Loved the bit regarding clothing and shoes, brilliant! Really humiliating being taken shopping and forced to wear clothing and stilettos chosen by Hannah who hopefully will make both as degrading as possible for Donna