Ah... Honey, We Have to Talk Ch. 03

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. This was moving so fast. Or maybe not fast enough. What if he changes his mind I thought. But the last thing I wanted was to drain all his money for a ring. Some women would have thought two grand was not enough for their ring. But I thought it was too much.

"Jake, let me get this straight. You want to make a life with me. Marry me and have children with me?"

"I do," he said and smiled. "But I was supposed to ask all that."

How do you kill a man you are in love with?

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The World - Fort Bragg, NC - Marriage

Five weeks from the time we met, we went to the courthouse and got married. I went in the courthouse Leila Van der Berg and came out Leila Sloan.

Our honeymoon was just one weekend on Myrtle Beach. We spent it in the airconditioned hotel room most of the time making out, fucking and occasionally making love. Each of us called our parents and let them know we got married. His parents were surprised but took it well. My dad was happy for us, but my mother was livid that she didn't get to plan a wedding. Still, I could tell she was happy for me. We planned a trip home for the holidays to see and meet both families. My father wanted to invite the two families to Cincinnati for a big bash. I could smell my mother's doings in that plan.

The week after, Jake was deployed. I didn't see him again for four weeks. And by the time I did, I had missed my period and found out I was pregnant. We originally planned for me to stay in the army and take maternity leave when the baby came. But the first ultrasound showed not one, but two babies in the making. Twins!

The doctor placed me on light duty, but my morning sickness was terrible. That meant I could work in the office, but no straining or PT. Literally throwing up most of the day or having dry heaves. I was getting weaker and more tired each day. After three weeks of this routine, the doctor placed me on permanent leave until the babies were born.

Before the holidays, I was offered a good conduct separation from the service. It was not what I wanted. I had worked hard to gain my rank in the Army. But the doctor said I would not be able to perform any duties for a while. He would reconsider after my first trimester was over.

It hurt at first to not be on duty. But I was no longer feeling fit enough to handle my duties. I found myself easily distracted and did not want to be handling weapons in my state. And I was in quite the state.

Right after my first trimester was over, I returned to duty. I went from throwing up to being near constantly horny. It's a hormonal reaction that some women go through. Apparently, I was one of those women.

The condition first reared its ugly head when I was in the armory working when Jake was on a mission. For some reason that day, I saw every man who came in or was even working with me as a potential sex target. My mind was not right to be thinking that way on duty. I even found this pimple faced private a possibility. Christ!

I did nothing about it, but after a couple of hours I hit the latrine...bathroom and rubbed one out in the far stall. I bit my hat to keep from moaning during or shrieking in the end. The compulsion to do both had been overwhelming. But as much as I was surrounded by dicks walking by all over the building, I was strong.

Even Ruben looked good to me for a few minutes when he came by to pick up his weapons for the range. He smiled at me politely before he left. I think I banged my head on the table inside the gun safe a couple of times in frustration.

Then he of all people walked in. Todd Fucken Manson!

"Hey hot stuff," he said making sure no one could hear him.

I rolled my eyes at him and acted like I was tired of his shit, but inside...inside I wanted to drag him in the walk-in gun safe and fuck him on the floor. Forget that. We could fuck on the office floor. Maybe in the hallway as people passed by. In the Captain's office as he did his paperwork...FUCK! I was going nuts. This wasn't me. But the urge was there and strong.

"What do you want Sergeant Manson?" I asked without looking up from a form I had read now four times.

"Do you have to ask Leila?" he said in that seductive voice of his. "After all we've done?"

"Past tense Todd," I said, but felt my voice breaking. "Just leave if you don't want your weapon."

"Oh but I do," he said leaning in right after my assistant left the room. "I want you to check my weapon. It needs...maintenance."

"Get Jenny to do it," I said right back and like an idiot found myself smiling at him. Finally seeing a response from me, he smiled back.

Oh fuck! Was I flirting? I was flirting! I was flirting with Todd Fucken Manson. My ex fuck buddy.

"There!" Todd smiled back, "that's the Leila I remember. How about it baby? Do you want to do it?"

"Do what?" I smirked back at him. I was no longer in control.

"You know...the deed...the nasty...what we used to do so well. I know you miss it."

"I get plenty from Jake, Todd. He is better than you."

"I doubt it," he replied with a wink. "I bet he's conventional. Very conventional. Have you given him your ass yet? Like you used to with me?"

I don't know what the fuck came over me then, but I blurted it out without thinking.

"He is too big for that. Bigger than you."

Instead of being hurt or intimidated, Todd laughed.

"So I had something you haven't given him yet," he snickered nodding as if he knew something I was supposed to know as well. "You and I made good music together Leila. I can fuck the shit out of you front back and throat; very well. Today."

I was both stunned at his annoying brashness and that he was making me hornier than I was. Just then I did want to be fucked in every hole and "well," as he had so eloquently put it. But even in that state, I knew I was crossing a line and shook my head.

"Get out!" I hissed at him.

Todd feigned being scared and raised his hands making a mocking face.

"You'll break Leila," he said. "I can tell you already ARE breaking. It won't be long."

I pulled away as he placed his hand over mine.

"Call me," he mouthed and made a phone gesture with his hand. He laughed as he left.

I ran in the ladies room and closed myself in the last stall. Again!

I almost tore my utilities trying to pull them down with my panties before sitting on the toilet. My hands could not find my clit fast enough. Finding my cunt wet, my fingers plunged in it over and over while my other hand toyed with my aroused clit. I settled for two fingers in my cunt and my thumb on my clit as my other hand mauled my breasts. Sticking my hand under my uniform top, I fondled my tits and tweaked my nipples as my thumb rubbed my clit. It didn't take long.

I had forgotten to bite on my hat again and gasped as I came and came and came. It was along orgasm that dragged in to another one as I kept rubbing my clit and yanking on my swollen tities and nipples. My body was on fire.

After I finished cumming, I was overcome with emotions of remorse and guilt. I had flirted with my ex-lover while my husband was off on a mission? What the fuck was wrong with me? I was not an eighteen year old army wife on her husband's first deployment. I was regular army. A sergeant for Christ sake! Oh Lord forgive me.

Somehow, I managed to get through the day and the rest of the week until Jake came home. Then I proceeded to fuck his brains out. Then did it again and again.

"Leila, are you OK babe?" he finally asked.

"No Jake. I'm not," I replied. "I want to quit the army."

"What!" he asked. "Why?"

Why? I knew why alright. But how could I tell him? How could I say that I was too horny at work while he was away and was contemplating fucking other men? I could not do that to him. Not just because he would lose all faith in me and divorce me, but for his own safety. While he was on missions, Jake had to be 100% focused on the mission. The last thing I wanted was for him to be worrying about me fucking around at home.

"Jake, with these hormones, I am having problems concentrating and doing my tasks. If I screw up, you guys can end up dead and worse with malfunctioning weapons."

"Leila, you have subordinates to do the work..." he tried to dissuade me.

"No Jake, this is not just any job where I can screw up once in a while. I won't and can't live with the thought I got one of you...maybe you, killed."

It wasn't the exact truth, but it had a ring of truth to it. One of my assistants had found a mistake on my part when checking one of the weapons I was supposed to have checked. The mistake was so obvious that I was embarrassed and scared that I had done it. I remembered when exactly I checked that weapon and it was when a good looking Delta operator came in the weapons bay to bring his rifle back from the range. I had stared at him as my pussy got wet and skipped an important functions check that my subordinate did not miss.

"Can we make it through financially?" he asked.

Jake and I had moved into an off base apartment that we budgeted for when we had two paychecks.

"I am going to dip into the trust-fund my parents set up for me if I wanted to go to college," I replied.

"Wait! A trust fund?" he asked. "You're parents have that kind of money?"

"Dad owns a limo service company. He set up an account for me when I was born. I checked and I am able to draw from it now that I am married and over twenty five. But there is a catch. I have to take some college courses."

"Are you sure you can do this?" Jake asked.

"Yes," I replied at least being truthful in that regard.

The next day, I invested in a dildo and a vibrator. Jake was not going to be going out on deployment overseas until after the babies were due. Until then, his team was on a quick response posting if needed, and that meant he would leave for a few days at most. I could handle that I thought.

Our families met in Cincinnati over the holidays. Thank God they all got along. His family liked me, and my family liked Jake. I caught dad and my brother staring at Jake's beautiful mother and sister. Who could blame them, they are both stunning women. Nancy a younger version of her mother Angie. And Jake's father is a handsome man as well. I could see where Jake got his looks from. They run in the family.

We returned to North Carolina after the holidays for me to leave the service and sign up for courses at Webster college. It was mid school year, so I had to take any courses available for a degree in Accounting. I figured every company needs accountants and I could do that wherever Jake was posted.

It was fun to start going to classes. Mom and Dad were certainly happy to hear that I gave up on the uniform and applied myself in the classroom. And Jake was very supportive. Especially since I was screwing him every chance we had.

What he did not know, was that I was bringing my vibrator and dildo to school with me. I traded my Jeep for a minivan so I could masturbate in private between classes on campus. It helped a lot. I toned down on my dressing and make up, so I did not get hit on as much. So long as Jake was around, I was fine. I had him screw me in the morning when he got home and most of the night. He was happy and so was I.

The one thing that bothered me was that as much as I tried, I had problems taking his thick cock in my ass. It annoyed me that I had done that with other men and could not with my husband. Todd's comments about how he had something I had not given to Jake haunted me for some time.

I kept searching online for ways to have anal with a big cock and finally found a solution. Butt plugs. Laugh all you want. But I bought a set that helped me get there with Jake. It was a set of progressively larger plugs that I wore around the house and often outside to get my ass used to something larger in it. Once used to it, I bought a short and thick dildo hat I could insert in my ass with lubrication and enough practice. And then Jake and I tried it.

To say Jake turned in to an ass fiend is a bit over the top. But that first week, it was all he wanted to do. After four nights I had to remind him that I had a pussy. It was still challenging to take Jake up my back hole, but if he worked me up with his fingers and a just smaller dildo I could take him in. I was his wife. If he was going to fuck anyone's ass, it was going to be mine. And I'd be damned if some ex of mine was going to gloat that he had something my husband had not.

Now taking Jake down my throat...that took a bit longer to accomplish and considering I had a sore throat after, Jake decided it wasn't that important I do it all the time. So we reserved that for special occasions. Let's just say I surprised him occasionally and he appreciated it.

Looking back on it, those last few months before the babies were born were the best days of our life together. I managed to get through the increased need for sex without cheating on my husband. But it bothered me to know that I had briefly considered it.

It was the only part of our relationship that left a dark cloud over me. But as the babies came I put it behind me and focused on them and school.

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The World - Fort Bragg, NC - Jake's Parents

It was then that Jake's parents moved to North Carolina to live near us. Randy, Jake's father worked as a business consultant from home half the time and traveled the rest. Angie, Jakes mom was in real estate. She got certified in North Carolina and went to work for a branch of the same company she worked for in Indiana. With their daughter Nancy in college, the Sloans decided to move close to us so they can be near their grandchildren. At least that was the official story at first.

Jake's family had us over often for dinner and on weekends. That continued for me even after Jake deployed to Afghanistan for our first long parting. We made love and fucked right up until he flew out. His parents watched the babies while he and I had a weekend alone by the beach. We had a great time, but it was tainted by the knowledge that we would not see each other for six months. It was better than the longer deployments of regular army units. But still, six months apart was not like the short days or at most a month we had been apart.

I was confident that I would make it through. Jake's safety was more in my mind than my need for cock just then. We had just started a family. My children's father was off to war. The least I could do was be faithful and rough it out. After all, I had made it through those four months of constant horniness when Jake had deployed twice. The dildo and vibrator had come through for me. Now I had to stretch it out to six months.

"Leila," Jake said on the last night on the beach. "We need to talk."

That never works out right as we all know. I could tell he was agitated and reluctant to say what he was planning to. He looked like he had done some thinking before he did.

"Are you dumping me Jake Sloan?" I asked with a feigned perfect smile. Inside I was scared shitless.

"No Love," he replied nervously.

"Spit it out Jake," I pressed. "Just say it. I'm a big girl I can take it."

"Look, I've been thinking and talked to Sergeant Jefferson. We talked about long deployments while our wives are left behind."

"And?"

"Well, I know we...you and I are exclusive..."

"Yeah Jake," I replied. "It goes with the whole marriage thing. You know...the vows we took?"

"I know Leila," he said. "But six months is a long time..."

"Jake Sloan," I said putting my hands on my hips. "Are you asking for a hall pass to cheat on me while you are away?"

He shook his head still not looking at me and then turned to face me. His expression one of anxiety and resignation.

"Look Leila. Six months is a long time. If you need...if you decide to...I mean if you really have to have some sex..."

He saw my face I guess as I was about to yell at him and raised his hand to silence me. I could tell this was not easy on him.

"Just hear me out OK? If you have to, make sure he is clean. Make sure you don't get pregnant. Make sure you don't dirty our family name by getting caught. And make sure you don't fall in love with him. And one more thing. If you do and still love me. If you want us to still have a life together, don't tell me about it. I don't care if you are feeling guilty after. If you want our marriage and family to continue, you keep it to yourself."

I stood there dumbfounded.

"Are you finished?" I asked with what must have been a disbelieving gaze.

"Yeah," he said exhaling in relief that he had gotten that out.

"You listen here Jake Sloan. I may be a horny bitch, but I am your horny bitch. If you can go to the Sandbox and dodge led, I can keep myself from fucking around on you. I've got this," I said to him holding his hands. "I don't want you worrying about this when you are there. OK?"

"OK," he said, but I could see he had doubts.

When we returned I was too busy with getting him ready to leave and too emotionally drained to deal with the cause of his declaration. What I had wanted to do was find Ruben and tear him a new asshole for putting those thoughts in Jake's mind. But I didn't get a chance to talk to Ruben Jefferson when I dropped Jake off. It would not have gone well for him. He wasn't my sergeant anymore. I could curse him out.

But I did find Esmy at her house and went to visit. Her kids were in school, so her house was empty when I showed up with the babies in tow. She fussed over them remembering her days with newborns as we chatted about mom things. I like Esmy. She has a bubbly personality, yet her eyes are those of a fighter when she bores in on you in a conversation. It was those eyes and how they looked at me that made me realize she knew I was not there just to show off my babies.

"I have a question for you Esmy," I said.

"Go on," she said now all business.

"It's something Jake said to me," I replied and relayed to her Jake's proposal about me being alone and in "need."

Esmeralda listened intently not showing a bit of emotion. By the time I finished her bland reaction was starting to worry me. When I was done, she nodded and refilled my coffee cup.

"And you want to know why Ruben would suggest that to Jake?" she asked.

"I am not sure he did Esmy," I replied. "He just said he talked to Ruben and then he was telling me I can screw around when he is gone and the rules if I did. He didn't say that Ruben..."

"Ruben did tell him Leila," Esmy said cutting me off.

"Why would he do that Esmy?" I asked.

The look on Esmy's face said it all. She looked back at me as if saying "are you that slow? Figure it out."

"Wait!" I said still in shock. "You have a hall-pass when Ruben is away? NO!"

Esmy took a sip of coffee and gave me a polite smile. Then nodded slightly in acknowledgement.

"Do you think less of us?" she asked. "Less of me?"

"I...I don't know what to say," I replied in shock. Of all people that I would have thought might...but Esmy! "How?"

"What I am about to tell you is not for public consumption Leila. It's something that can ruin Ruben's career. Do you understand?"

I just nodded. Inside I was afraid of what she would tell me.

"It started years ago when I was pregnant and horny with my youngest. Ruben was assigned to a new team as second in command last minute. He had been waiting for such a posting and we chose...together, for him to take it. He had been to my other two childbirths, so missing the last one was fine with me. So he left knowing how I was fucking him every chance I could. We later kidded and still do occasionally that he left to get some rest."