All Comments on 'Alice Wants to Watch Pt. 04'

I wish you'd introduce enemas before anal.

Anal is not my thing, still I think preparation is important.

Interesting mix with the women, very different types which makes it interesting. Thanks

the three way relationship and the power transfers are interesting

It has been great, but at the same time it sounds more like Alice is still in charge. Not a big fan of the guy being in charge either, I believe the cake should always be the one who calls all the shots. Hopefully you will have Alice slowly go down that rabbit hole of submission to Ivy. You get another 5 stars from me.

This is a good story. The tone of the plot is pretty good. But the editing basics are weak.

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You've switched Alice and Ivy's names several times. It's like dropping an anchor on the reading flow when you have to figure out: is that really Ivy? Is that really Alice? This should be easy to fix with attention to detail.

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Some of your sentences and punctuation are just wrong. A decent proofread would help a lot. And I get that if you're self-editing this is really difficult (it sounds ok in your head), but there are a number of times where it stops the story dead. Superfluous words, sentences mangled through several overwriting edits, odd punctuation...

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Interesting that Bens penis grew from 6" in the first chapter to 7" in subsequent...good for him?

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Please keep going.

I've enjoyed the story. It's a fun little foray into the exploration of what watching and being a cuckquean means for Alice and being the "other woman" for Ivy... with Ben in the middle. He's definitely quite forceful, and dominant though he does take a lead from both his GF and Ivy.

While anon Pappasleaze says the cake should be in total control, I disagree... but that's a difference in kinks, so no worries there. Personally I prefer a "mix" of control where the guy is the dominant one (and can learn to be that way as Ben is clearly doing) while the cake is submissive to him, but dominant to the cuckquean. There are a number of different things that could be added between Ben and Alice, or even Ivy and Alice. For example, Alice has kind of hinted at really liking the idea that Ivy was being more 'forceful' with her. Demanding she kiss her, for example. I enjoyed that dynamic where Ivy really enjoyed her being uncomfortable with that kiss, and in the same way that uncomfortable feeling was driving Alice to enjoy it too... despite it being something she didn't want. As if the fact that Ivy demanded it because she didn't like it, or in spite of her not liking it, hit a cord with her.

In the same way, you could introduce something else Alice probably wouldn't really like, but that it would turn her on even more... if Ivy, or even better, Ben, told her not to orgasm... to wait... not yet... Something to bring out that she's not the one being pleasured... forced to watch the better woman being pleasured. (Ivy enjoys anal now and Alice doesn't... if nothing else she's the better anal fuck) In the end, Alice would be allowed to orgasm, but only with permission... when Ivy and Ben could give her enough attention to give that permission that is. (Which SHOULD happen a few times at least, but enough to make it a point of Alice losing control.)

What a great set of stories! More chapters please