Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereWhile Amelia was showing her memories, Andrew and Charles moved behind the respective woman to be ready to catch them if necessary. They watched as Amelia released her link was Susan both of the women staggered for second.
"I know whose voice that was. It is..." Both women said in unison.
To be continued!
- COMMENTS
cittranalmost 11 years agoAfter the first few chapters, I really hate to say this, but I feel I need to:
This chapter needs an editor to rework it. A lot.
The story was good, but when I need to read an otherwise simple sentence more than once simply because of multiple spelling, grammatical, or syntax errors, something is wrong.
MizTover 11 years agoLearning to type on tablet and keep screwing up. Will leave longer comment when I get to a real keyboard.......but this chapter is great!!!!!!
katgoddess1over 11 years agoI really enjoy the story line, even though I hate the grammar/spelling/formatting errors. I also despise cliff-hangers! I believe they are over-used! I think it would have been just as dramatic if the name had been revealed.
It looks like Andrew is right to be suspicious of Charles. I wonder what Susan would think if she knew that Charles plans to eventually dispose of Andrew and Amelia?
Iread2relaxover 11 years agoWell i for one loved this chapter. It was a long read and I had to go back but that's OK. It is still awesome. Thank you Don for writing this tale. voted 5 stars.
donaldeover 11 years agoAuthorI am in the process of straightening out the formating errors it just with the holiday i have been slowed down a bit i am hoping to resubmit the story the begining of next week.
Anonymousover 11 years agoIs there any possible way to have this chapter reformatted/re-edited and then resubmitted? The errors are not only quite distracting by themselves, but they also take quite a bit away from the main storyline and the overall quality of the work that's gone into it. If all these errors were present in the first chapter I don't think you would have as many followers as you do now. It's that off-putting.
Again, I hope there is a way for resubmission to occur. Your story deserves at least that much consideration. Thank you.
willieoneover 11 years agoI can overlook all the stuff ups in this chapter because it was an awesome chapter to read and ofcourse you had to leave it with a cliffhanger...been hanging with Jaz to long and her addiction to cliffies has rubbed of! lol.
I hope the next chapter posts soon as waiting is painful!
Willie
Anonymousover 11 years agothe other posts showed the grammar, mine is if susan is glorias sire then how did lenard train her for over a century to become a tracker after her parents died? also gloria said she never heard of vamps sharing blood but then tells of the covens doing it.
donaldeover 11 years agoAuthorit would seem that the Open Office program that i am using has compatibility problems issues with Literotica and it has caused my latest submission to screw up. I just found out about the issues and am attempting to reformat the story back to Microsoft works format so i can re-post it .
I apologize for the bad chapter and all of the errors.
