by ZapperTapper
Howdy anon! I agree, I've had some feedback on how I need to improve the flow. The waking up on the couch is supposed to represent that this whole thing was a fantasy the mc had and is in fact very lonely at the moment. I'm trying to find out how to illustrate that "twist" better without stating it outright.
It's great to have new talent on the site.
I'm sorry to say that I found the story promising but disjointed. Especially the end. How does where he woke up fit into the narrative?