All Comments on 'Awake VR'

This was actually a very good story. The entire concept was awesome and a lot of fun. The length was fine, but I feel like that it could have been expanded upon a little more.

For example, I think the sex scene could have lingered on a bit more. That, and the build up to developing a love and attraction for the husband. Don’t get me wrong — it was good. It just left a little to be desired.

I do love the ending, though. How it was a sort of “happy ever after” but took a turn for the worst with just one line. Very cool!

Your writing was a bit clunky at times. I believe separating the dialogue into different paragraphs would have benefited this story a lot.

Overall, this was a good and fun read! I love stories like this. Such an interesting and erotic concept. I think the attraction, sex scene, and overall story could have been expanded on a bit more, but I am happy with the outcome. 4/5.

I hope to see more stuff like this from you! (:

I’m giving this one five stars. The drawbacks that the other commenter noted were all valid. But the originality of the premise far outshines this, and the way you convincingly sold the mind-fuckery of the protagonist brought it home :) well done.