BIG BUTT CHINA - Mei Two Pt. 03

A light bulb seemed to go off over his head as Armin relaxed for a few seconds walking over to my bed. He looked at the mess I'd made of his bed with Mei-Hua for a few seconds before turning to face my bed offered. Before I could react, Armin unzipped taking a full whiz on my bed, actually making sure to get the whole mattress before zipping up and facing me with a dejected look on his face.

"Why did you take a piss in my bed, Armin?"

"You feel it?"

"Feel what, man; you just took a fucking beer piss in my bed!"

"You know it?"

"I just saw you do it man; that's borderline psychotic. Armin, what the fuck's wrong with you; that shit is just, wrong dude."

"Like making fuck in my bed with Oriental Big Ass?" We stared at one another; the air charged around us in anticipation of a fight. He was visibly tensing up, preparing to throw a punch. This guy looked really angry and I didn't know if it was because of what I'd done to his bed or some blatant jealousy due to my situation with the identical Mei twins.

"Man, you're right; I was wrong for doing that shit in your bed."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Armin." We tentatively took a step forward, finally hugging it out. I didn't want to have an antagonistic relationship with him. He'd actually been a good friend for the most part since we moved into the dorm becoming roommates. Armin could've easily afforded a luxury condo but admitted a month into our co-occupancy that he lived in the dorm because he needed human companionship. It was honest and real for all of three minutes before he was off chasing the skirt of some large breasted barista. Another three minutes later he was drenched in mop water thrown by the bespectacled girl's boyfriend, also working there. I was a funny memory and a touchstone for our relationship as we hugged it out.

"I sorry too." He admitted.

"Look man, I'm gonna go talk to Stanley and get some more bedding to fix your bed. I'm sorry and it won't ever happen again." I turned the doorknob.

"NO, WAIT BRO!!" It was too late.

Several women burst into our dorm room, fifteen to twenty deep each armed with cans of shaving cream and what was some overly saccharine sweet perfume. The phalanx of women swarmed us both, covering us with shaving cream. We were coated in this stuff as scores of shredded paper, cotton balls, and what looked like feathers were tossed from garbage bags onto us as we struggled, slipping and sliding all over the dorm floor. I could barely make out the faces of the women, realizing that most of them were wearing pink ski masks to hide their identities. I managed to snatch one of the masks off of a girl's head finding one of Mei's associates behind it. The girl quickly disappeared as more women pushed in spraying more shaving cream all over my head and chest.

"NO MEANS NO!!" They screamed joyously quickly running out of the room leaving Armin and myself punished I guess, with the feminist version of being tarred and feathered. We just sat there on the cluttered floor looking at one another.

"Told you, don't open door." Armin admonished flinging some of the shaving cream concoction in my direction.

"Yeah, I know."

"I TOLD YOU, DON'T OPEN!!" Armin spazzed as I struggled to my feet slipping on the floor a couple of times before I helped him up as well. We both knew we were tired of the shit as we walked out into the corridor. Several students were already milling about in the corridor apparently aware that we were going to be attacked with camera phones at the ready. We probably appeared in several social media posts as we trudged across the campus to Irma Hersh's sorority house. Some people were following us, but we didn't care stomping up to the door knocking loudly until some nerdy petite girl cracked the door looking apprehensively at both of us.

"This is a neighborhood watch area, sir." She definitely sounded shaky, probably a sorority pledge delegated to answer the door by the one step back process.

"Irma Hersh, please."

"You uhm, are being videotaped; high definition too."

"Irma Hersh, please."

"The police officers around here uhm, aren't very friendly to people of color." Armin and I did a double take looking at one another before glancing back in her direction.

"GO GET THAAAAT BIAAAATCH!!" We yelled in unison as she slammed the door in our faces. We were left to wonder if they were dialing the cops at that moment. We were about to get out of there when the door opened revealing some tall, awkward looking brunette; probably another sorority pledge.

"Uh, well uhm; Irma Hersh will see you now."

This think, gawky looking student was visibly trembling which would've gave me pause if I weren't so angry. Armin and I shared a look before walking into the sorority house side by side. We figured they couldn't do anything if we put up a united front...wrong! The minute we stepped across the threshold, two hollowed out metallic garbage cans dropped down over us as the sorority sisters crushed in on us. We were captured again and forced into the large living room where more girls waited. There was a wide assortment of women present all angry looking with Irma Hersh holding court in the center. The portly, rotund blonde was standing on the sofa with a line of her sisters standing single file in front of her.

"Well look what crawled out of the patriarchal toilet into our fucking living room, sisters; and what is that?!!" Armin was alarmed at the greek paddle in her grasp. It was decorated with the female gender symbol and some assorted writings.

"NEANDERTHAL!! NEANDERTHAL!!" The girls shouted in unison.

"That's right; they're getting so desperate to maintain the status quo, they've invaded!! This proves our mission statement is JUST; this proves our mission statement is FUCKING RIGHTEOUS!! These knuckle draggers are here sisters!!

Who is here again?!!"

"NEANDERTHAL!! NEANDERTHAL!!" The girls shouted in unison. I would've facepalmed if I could raise my hand.

"Yes my loyal members of the sisterhood; that's ABSOLUTELY RIGHT and THIS TIME we're gonna MAKE SURE THESE APES, GET IT IN THEIR PEAKED SKULLS!!

What are they gonna get; what's the message?!!"

"NO MEANS NO!!" Their cultist chanting was deafening.

"YOU LET ME GO, BITCHES!!" Armin yelled desperately struggling until a rather large girl of six foot three inches of height whispered something in his ear. Irma motioned towards him with the Greek paddle.

"Well, you liked it so much last time that you came back, huh Trog?"

"I LIKE NOTHING!!"

"Yeah, you slipped through our righteous fingers last time, but god is good monkey boy; this time we WILL SHAVE YOUR BACK!!"

"SHAVE HIS BACK, SHAVE HIS BACK!!" The sorority sisters shouted as one sorority sister advanced with an electric shaver. Armin screamed in rage as she shaved off a portion of his monobrow.

"YOU WILL PAY, ALL OF YOU BUT ESPECIALLY FAT ASS!!" Irma's nostrils flared as she motioned with the paddle again causing one of our captors to slap the back of Armin's head.

"Trog-HAS JUST FORFEITED ALL OF HIS BODY HAIR IN SACRIFICE TO OUR JUST CAUSE!!" Several girls suddenly brandished electric razors.

"ENOUGH-ENOUGH ALREADY!! I- WOULD LIKE TO RESPECTFULLLY SPEAK BEFORE-before you shave my roommate." Irma turned in my direction with a raised eye, measuring the paddle in her hand which worried me.

"SILENCE, THE PENIS HAS NO POWER, HERE!!" She was definitely feeling her power amongst the collected mouth breathers.

"Irma, please; cut the shit out." She looked around at the assembled women starting to laugh as they aped that action too until the living room was filled with uproarious laughter, before she turned back tapping the garbage can surrounding me with the paddle.

"Hey, I'm gonna be tapping that ass, this time, eh?" She winked.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about Irma."

"Huh, what is it?"

"Look Ms. Hersh; you could've at least waited to find out why we came over here even though we knew how you and your sorority sisters felt. I mean, I understand more than most why you're on this crusade and I wasn't looking for a fight, Irma." She looked nervous, as some of the other sisters' ears perked up.

"Shut up."

"Man, I just wanted to apologize to you, honest." I continued.

"BE SILENT, YOU WILL NOT SPEAK BEFORE THE SISTERS!! YOU WILL NOT SPEAK!!" Irma panicked worried that something would be addressed in public before her peers.

"Hey, why won't you let him speak?" A tall girl asked from the back of the crowd, while some of the students round her nodded.

"Yeah, let him say whatever he has to say; we're gonna shave them anyway. So what does it matter, Irma?" A gorgeous, bespectacled blonde added from the other side of the room with her own clique of supporters as grumbling started to manifest in an increasing cadence. The cacophony quieted down as Irma waved the paddle around in the air bringing the noise level down.

"Look this guy is a fucking perverted asshole; don't change the narrative when we're so close to reaching our objective here sisters-TRUST THE VAGINA!!"

"Changing the narrative, Irma?"

"SHUT IT!!" She blurted out fully aware of where I was going as the grumbling continued growing into a disorganized roar. More of the women started raising concerns as I looked over at Armin winking.

"I'm sorry Irma; it's not your fault, it's mine."

"Why's he keep saying that; apologizing?" Another girl wearing a track suit emblazoned with Greek letters asked. Irma banged the paddle on the metal side of my garbage can restraint.

"HOLD THE LINE OF TRUST IN THIS MATRIARCHY!!" She screamed losing more control of the room.

"I don't blame you; I blame me Irma, I was weak." I spoke looking at another of the sorority sisters who almost manifested a lightbulb above her head.

"LET HIM SPEAK-LET HIM SPEAK!!" The pledges shouted in unison before someone quieted them.

"Yes, let him speak."

The room suddenly fell silent as everyone turned looking as the crowd parted revealing a tall, lanky athletic looking blonde. She reminded me of a character I'd seen on television aback in the day. It was a show my grandfather used to make me watch called "Little House on the Prairie" and this girl distinctly reminded me of a mean ass character named Nellie Oleson. Everyone in the room seemed to defer to her, even Irma.

"Look baby, we're just messing around with this guy; you-you know how much I love you, right Heidi?" They were interrupted by the loud laughter of Armin, momentarily turning their attention in his direction.

"HAHAHAHAH, YOU BITCHES ARE THE GAY!! AHAHAHAHAAH!!" Heidi reached over grabbing the top of the garbage can restraining him as some of the sorority sisters stumbled back afraid. Her fist came flying through the air colliding with his jaw, flooring him in spectacular fashion. There was some sort of small table behind him topped with a porcelain tea set and glass swan that he destroyed upon impact. Heidi slowly turned grabbing the top of my can.

"Funny, huh?"

"No ma'am, I just came here trying to make things right and well, you see what's going on?"

"Say what you have to say before I toss you back to these fanatics." I was given the impression that she still wanted to coldcock me, as her face got uncomfortably close. I glanced over to Heidi who was making a sweeping gesture with her hands trying to dissuade me from speaking. All of the sorority sisters leaned forward waiting.

"Irma, I'd really like to apologize because you were just trying to help me out in a bad time. Earlier that day, my girlfriend in the Army wrote me a "Dear John" letter. Her name was Mylie and well, she was pretty much cheating on me the whole time. So, when I crashed that frat party at the Omega house, you were there almost like fate. I was all fucked up because I thought Mylie and I were gonna get married when we finished school, but she even got knocked up and stuff. Irma, if it wasn't for those six Heinekens you gave me, I don't know what I would've ended up doing. Some people might've thought you were liquoring me up, but I KNEW THE TRUTH, Irma. God sent you to help me out of a bad place, Irma; so even though I couldn't down that last long island iced tea, I did it for you. THIS WOMAN IS AN ANGEL; she drug me across campus to my dorm room even taking the time to let me HURL!! I was so grateful that I even took one last shot from that little bottle of hooch, she keeps in her purse. SHE'S AN ANGEL!!" I noticed some of the girls emotionally effected by my words.

"Shit." Irma whispered.

"Irma, I'm SO SORRY about what happened next; I could barely PERFORM because I was DEVASTATED by Mylie's betrayal, but I wanted to give something back. THIS WOMAN JUST WANTED TO SLEEP WITH A BLACK MAN; yes, that's all she WANTED, girls. Even those she used the N-Word, I still wanted to do my best to please her. Everything's a blur after that girls; total fucking blur my feminist queens!! Irma, I'm so sorry about calling you Mylie; I was still HEARTBROKEN, I guess. You looked so unobjectively beautiful sleeping there. The loud snoring may have even woke me once or twice along with the pronounced flatulence. Those wet farts were a symbol of the GOOD WILL of the MATRIARCHY!! I fell back to sleep, PASSED OUT if you will; but it was my intention to rise before you and-well, wash that skid mark out of your panties. I'M SORRY, OH SOOOOOOO SORRY, Irma Hersh."

The living room erupted in laughter and jeers as the sorority sisters fell out. Heidi didn't find it funny at all, laying a right that almost knocked me head over heels before turning to her girlfriend.

"You cheated on me?" The pledge paddle fell to the floor with a pronounced thud.

"Baby, you gotta hear me out."

"What did I tell you I'd do if I found out you were cheating on me, again."

"Come on Heidi; you know I love you babe." Everyone in the room gasped as Heidi grabbed the large, portly girl tossing her over her shoulder like she weighed nothing. She didn't miss a beat walking as the crowd parted taking Irma with her. Her pleading could still be heard outside the room as Heidi, presumably walked up the stairwell carrying her lady love like a sack of potatoes. All of the girls gaze uniformly went from the adjacent corridor back to me. I was helped back up to my feet, feeling triumphant.

"Well uhm, I guess I'll be taking my leave then; Armin stop faking like you're knocked out. She's left the room." Armin stirred revealing a fresh shiner on his right eye as the sorority sisters helped him stand.

"That one is monster." He sounded remorseful in his own way as I smiled weakly at some of the assembled girls motioning for them to free us.

"Good day; can somebody help us out of this, huh?" Instead the assembled women crowded in on us as Armin shrieked.

"NOOOO!!"

"Ladies, please."

"We don't allow uninvited men inside our hallowed walls; sorry boys."

More people seemed to be outside the sorority house waiting with camera phones at the ready as Armin and I exited the building in women's clothing, purses included. It was the best hooker gear the women could muster. Armin at least, managed to keep his profuse body hair intact.

"I tell you, not fuck fatties."

"Yeah man, let's just get home and take this shit off."

The ridicule continued as we entered the dorm. I decided to let Armin use the shower first because of all the trouble I'd caused. The janitor's closet was closed so I had to improvise a solution collecting most of the discarded fliers into one of the soiled sheets from Armin's bed. I figured it was fair trade since I'd deflowered Mei-Hua there. I tried to squeeze in a bit of study noticing the phone I'd left behind after the attack. I was desperate to know if the twins managed to sort things out picking it up finding at least fifty messages about the hospital.

"SHIT!!"

I broke out looking at the face of my phone leaving my door wide open. Mei-Hua had left several messages within the last hour with the same address attached. A little over thirty minutes later I found myself in the valley standing in front of a medical office building. There was an intercom entry system which seemed non-responsive when I pushed the button several times before gaining entrance when two women exited the building. I immediately took the elevator up to the second floor dreading why I had been directed to the location. I was scared at what a distraught Mei-Zhen might have done to herself.

"Nǐ bùnéng zhèyàng zuò; wǒmen zhīchí zhè zhǒng fāngshì!"

"Zhè shì wǒ de shēntǐ, wǒ yǔnxǔ zuò chū gǎibiàn, rúguǒ wǒ yǒuxiē bù xǐhuān!"

Both sisters were arguing loudly as I opened the door caring little about the other potential patients sitting there watching them flame out. Who I assumed was Mei-Zhen was pacing up and down the office in front of the receptionist window while her sister kept step with her arguing. Both girl's body language suggested the possibility of a fight.

"Méi zhēn nǐ shì wǒ de mèimei, wǒ ài nǐ. Qǐng chóngxīn kǎolǜ zhège xíngdòng! Bùyào zhèyàng duì wǒmen!!"

"Zěnmeliǎo, pà nǐ bùnéng yuēhuì! Wǒ yànjuànle nǐ de fèihuà hé wǒmen de dà pìgu guà duàn! Wǒ xiǎng bǎituō nǐ de liǎn, jíshǐ wǒ bìxū cā diào wǒ de!"

Whatever Mei-Zhen said seemed to be devastating to her sister who broke out in tears. Mei-Hua was still dressed in the pilfered clothing from her sister's wardrobe while the other was wearing grey workout clothing. I noticed the receptionist, some plastic surgery weird looking mature standing up with the phone to her ear, while a few of the other patients watched engrossed in the family drama between the two Chinese coeds.

"Shàngdì ràng wǒmen zhèyàng zuò shì yǒu yuányīn de! Nǐ shì wǒ de mèimei, wǒ bù huì fàngqì nǐ!"

"Nǐ wèishéme bù ràng wǒ yīgèrén qù wán nǐ tōu lái de jībā!! Nǐ shìzhe cǎiqǔ yīqiè zhèngcháng xíngdòng, dàn nǐ shì yīgè chòu yòu, yīgè méiyǒu dàodé de sōngsǎn nǚrén! Wǒ bùnéng rěnshòu kàn qǐlái xiàng gè wèijūnzǐ, nǐ zhège biǎo zi!" Mei-Zhen punctuated her statement with a sudden rough shove that sent her sister into the wall behind her as some of the women sitting adjacent scrambled with audible gasps. One teenage girl with a heavily taped up nose was filming the whole thing with her phone. I ran over between the sisters, hands outstretched.

"Oh wow, brought your hookup too; this just doesn't get any better, shit." Mei-Zhen face palmed.

"Mei-Zhen, you don't want to do this here; let's go talk it out somewhere else." I tried to reason with here as she put her hands on her hips, her almond shaped eyes widening at my suggestion.

"Oh, so you know who I am now; what happened last night when you were busy FUCKING MY SISTER-HUH?!!" Her hand cut the air as it collided loudly with my face for the second time in twenty-four hours. There were loud cries and gasps from the women around us as Mei-Hua righted herself while I put a hand to my cheek staring her sister in the eye.

"You're right Mei; I deserved that; wanna do it again?" Her palm collided with my face two more times as the receptionist leaned forward sticking her head out of the dispatch style window.

"Méi zhēn, bàituō!! Méi zhēn, bàituō!!" Mei-Hua pleaded snagging her sister's arm, tears streaming down her face.

"Yes, they're three black people here fighting; two females and their pimp. The women look Chinese with these big, fake butts!! No, it's a regular black guy, but he looks like a thug!!" Both sisters and I stopped what we were doing staring at the receptionist before Mei-Zhen spoke.

"Hey lady, all blatant racism aside; did we get fake Chinese language with these big, allegedly fake butts, huh bitch?!!"

"One of them is threatening me right now; I-I think it is the bottom bitch!!" The receptionist continued.

"I GOT YOUR BOTTOM BITCH RIGHT HERE!!" Mei-Zhen suddenly turned her butt in the receptionist's direction quickly sliding her leggings down revealing her huge, pale butt. She was wearing a black thong which disappeared between her thick cheeks. Mei-Zhen popped her hips making her ass clap for a few seconds before noticing some squat, Latino guy in the corner filming it with his phone before his own apparent girlfriend sucker punched him. The receptionist squawked letting the metal venetian blinds down in her receptionist window. Mei-Zhen yanked her leggings up shoving her sister in the face before looking around at the other patients some of which were half entertained, equal parts shocked.