All Comments on 'Birthday Surprise'

Well done. I liked it despite some elements that weren't my preference, like the degree the women seemed to dominate the guy. I think that shows how imaginative and well written the story was. Pity you didn't catch the many typos (nit, lock, cocktail). I think you'll get some criticism about that.

good start

A good, hot story that cries out for a Part 2 !

Nicely done... and we'll be looking for the next part.

4/5

Good start, but you need to finish out the night. Just a few spelling errors, but pretty good for a first story!!

Yeah hot premise but the constant typos and other spelling and grammar mistakes are really distracting. Also you built the whole premise of him having to sit and watch and be tortured by not being able to join in, but then they just make out and use a vibrator for like 2 minutes before they join him and make it about him. Hardly lives up to the promise of "I'm gonna fuck your wife and you're just going to have to watch". Similarly with the whole surprise element. I didn't get what the point was of having him wear the headphones and blindfold if it's only to remove them 2 seconds later.