All Comments on 'Can-O-Pus Pt. 01'

Really enjoyed it, hope it continues!

Just one thing though, how did he survive putting a revolver to his head the first time (especially if he was dead for a cople of minutes before his sister found him), and just got up as if it was nothing?

absolutely loved it! really well done story. please keep going!

great story, but a guy just cant impregnate 3 women w/o consequences. I think it would have been much more realistic and flow better if Gail had gotten them all the day after pill. What 18 yo male would ever want to get three girls prego?

had potential, but the attempted (successful?) suicide was a bit, over the top. if a (loved?) family member attempted (again successfully?) to shoot themselves, the last thing i think ANY human would do would go straight to berating them after their (resurrection?)..my very LAST thought (after they attempted it again AFTER i had already mocked and teased them) would be "we need to get you laid" I understand its porn, but some things just don't set a good mood/tone. a slightly better intro and circumstances could have made for a good story. Kudos for putting it up/out there!

Hot, can’t wait for more parts, but some plot holes. How did he survive a gunshot to the head with no medical assistance? Additionally, you said water rendered the substance inert yet he took a shower with his sister and she didn’t revert immediately. Can’t wait to find out why the sister not only was a bitch to him but presumably got the other girls to be one to him. Also why exactly did she force the girls to lose their virginities? Good start for a stroker.

great start. looks like he'll have to keep using it even more than his grandpap to satisfy the size queens. keep going/growing

Your a good writer. But slow down. Flesh things out a bit. The part about the suicide was bad, really bad. I am in no way saying to take it out. But rather use it. Let us see more of what was going through his head. Maybe send him to the hospital. Let that be time for his sister to realize her mistakes and how she came to want to be a better sister. As for the fun parts, damn dude you've got that down. Maybe some transitioning from one scene to the next, but definitely hot. I would rather see you fix part one than get part two. Like I said you seem to be a good writer. This could be a great story.