Caputpedes

"He's got a device that disables telekinesis. I tried to keep them out, but he used it on me."

The orangutan laughed heartily, and tossed a metallic rod dexterously from hand to hand.

"Telekinesis? Oh, hun. You've started talking like me. What have I done to you?"

Emily's tone suggested that she didn't have a care in the world.

"You may not find it so amusing, my dear, when I use the same implement to decommission your lover's consciousness."

"Oh, I probably will, hun. Why not give it a go?"

"Emily, no!"

I couldn't restrain myself.

"Or, perhaps you would prefer a different target, my dear. Maybe your famous friend instead. A little demonstration could be in order."

He pointed the rod at me, grinned and squeezed. I closed my eyes, heard a scream and smelt burnt fur.

The orangutan was alternately waving and grasping his hand. Vortices of smoke swirled towards the ceiling and the device seemed to have disappeared. Our visitor was livid.

"I am old enough to know better, brute force is always preferable to technology. Boys!"

The four gorillas leapt towards Emily, who had not yet bothered to get up from the couch. Given their bulk, they moved very rapidly, and were almost on her when each ape was suddenly jerked violently upwards, hit the ceiling with some force, and stayed pinned there, whether unconscious or dead, I had no idea. They looked like a lepidopterist's collection.

"Orangutan zero -- Emily two. Want to play some more?"

The orangutan was reduced to gibbering. He sprang towards his diminutive adversary and then froze in mid-air.

"There's a good monkey -- I know David, I know -- now some people get all dramatic, and make gestures of remotely lifting and choking people. That's not me, hun. To be honest, I have enough problems dealing with hemorrhoids right now."

As she spoke, the orangutan levitated further, its hands grasping at its throat, legs flailing, eyes bulging.

"Now, hun, let's get one thing clear. You ever enter my property without an invitation, or threaten me, or my family, or any of my friends, and I'll turn your body to pure hydrogen and drop a match into it. Capiche?"

The orangutan nodded enthusiastically, unable to speak. Emily sighed and massaged her bump.

"OK, then. Let's talk."

She maneuvered the ape back over the armchair,and let him drop into it.

"To be clear, in case you have some stupid idea about escalation, there is no weapon you could buy or make that could hurt me. And if you touch a hair on the head of someone close to me, it will rebound on you and yours a hundredfold, maybe a thousandfold if you really get me pissed."

The orangutan was wisely silent.

"But I don't want to hurt you, hun. I don't want to take over The Cartel. I don't want a slice of the action. I just want to have my baby and be left alone with my family and friends. Whatever you are worried about, you don't need to be."

Emily paused, eyes locked on the ape. He looked away first.

"OK, now how about being more civilized? What is your name?"

The orangutan hesitated, perhaps anticipating a trap, and then seemed to give up.

"Og-nop. I'm Og-nop. I... I believed your Supreme Court antics were a play to either shut us down, or to take over. That's what I would do, if I was... if I could..."

"But you're not me. And I don't do things your way. I have no quarrel with you. In fact Na-ri here is still in your employ. Aren't you, Na-ri?"

I confirmed that I was.

"So, Na-ri tells me that business is up at her club. What about your other premises?"

"It's up at all of them too."

"So, hun, what's your fucking problem? If I wanted to take over, your atoms would already be forming a super-attenuated ring around the planet. Stop judging people by what you would do. Go back to being a businessman, a legitimate one now. The worst that happens is you have to pay taxes. Then maybe I could lobby for a tax moratorium as part of the inter-species amnesty I'm negotiating. Maybe for ten thousand years. Sound good?"

"Yes, Ma'am. That sounds good."

"OK, now would you like some tea? David is very good at making it."

Og-nop and his henchmen, all of whom were unharmed, stayed for tea and then left peaceably. There was never any further tension between us. Indeed two of the gorillas later booked a threesome with me, they were actually sweethearts.

Emily seemed pleased that another obstacle to her and David's serenity had been successfully negotiated. Pleased enough that Og-nop left with a wedding invitation.

Most of Emily's plans had worked out brilliantly. But she failed completely in one area. Her idea had been to marry David and then have the baby. Things didn't go quite that way and, two weeks before the ceremony, a little girl made her appearance early. Baby was fine, if a little premature, and the parents could not have been happier. They called her Nea, which means blossom. Emily made a joke about it being her binomial name, which flew right over my head. She was as human as her parents had both been at conception, but also, obviously, Caputpederean. What that might mean and how many of her mother's astonishing abilities she had inherited were questions that only time would answer.

The two weeks went by in a flash and I held Nea, rather than a chief bridesmaid's bouquet,as my two friends exchanged vows. Emily was ever the optimist about everything bar her appearance. She said that, at least, the wedding dress looked better on her than she had expected. I was of course happy for my friends. But it was bitter-sweet. We had not discussed the future, but, when I contemplated Emily's little family, I couldn't escape feeling like a fourth wheel. I tried to suppress my feelings, and to focus on Em's special day.

The rite completed, bride and groom walked back up the aisle, past the assembled well-wishers. I slipstreamed behind them, Nea burbling happily at me. Grace was there, Og-nop as well. Two benches were taken up by all eight Supreme Court Justices and the Attorney General; I smiled at him, but he avoided my eye.

And then, in the very last row, and situated adjacent to the aisle, I saw her. A giant squid hovering above the bench. Emily kissed her head, David and her entwined tentacles as a formal introduction. Neither seemed at all surprised at her presence, I sensed a conspiracy. And then I was in front of her.

"Hi, sweetie, after all you and Emily have done, I came home. You made a home for me to come back to. Thank you so much, Na-ri. I've missed you."

I said just one word in reply, "Duxie". Then I fell into her enveloping arms, eyes flooded with tears. But tears of joy.

Endnotes

• As with Determination I would like to stress that this story is not intended to be "Pro Life", though it is clearly very pro-life. The characters behave entirely according to their own personal motivations. Everything that Emily does is based on her own decisions about her own body. This is the way!

• Apologies to one of my favorite authors, Joseph Conrad, for bowdlerizing the title of his magnum opus for this story. Sorry Joe!

• Again, my influences are manifold and way too numerous to list. Most of my references / mangled quotes, direct or oblique, will be pretty obvious to any real Sci-Fi fan and I hope that they added to the story, rather than being a distraction.

Acknowledgements

• I wrote this story broadly in the same timeframe that my friend, Djmac1031, was writing The Devil And Angel Em. The seed for his story, which I encourage you to read, was us goofing around with silly ideas; one of which ended up being not quite so silly. As we both wrote, we swapped new sections with each other, provided and received feedback, talked about ideas, and generally just enjoyed the evolution of our parallel stories. It was a really interesting creative experience, compared to the normal solitude of writing. Thanks, hun, for the support, encouragement and -- most of all -- fun ❤️❤️❤️.

• I'd also like to thank another friend, the anonymous Lit member who appears as Dylan in some of my other stories. His professional input on my courtroom scenes was invaluable. Thanks, hun ❤️❤️❤️.