by subken
Good premise.
But constant changing between past tense and presence tense is seriously off-putting.
Gave up at bottom of page 1.
Two stars.
++good.
Pov/names slipped a couple times and could use some general editing but otherwise it worked for me 😉
Thanks!
What a great 5 Star story. Lots of build up with each experience over the week. The "Pegging" on pg. 4 was a surprise I didn't see coming. then wrapped up with a "Creampie" at the end of pg. 5 to finish the story. Awesome job for you 1st. story.
Well done with your punctuation. I am impressed at how Literotica is encouraging the functionally illiterate to attempt writing.
Great story. Would be better with better paragraph breaks and quotation marks.