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All Comments on 'Chapter 1'

by Dalton402

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LenardSpencerLenardSpencer10 months ago

Nice story. It will be interesting if she ever tells her husband what she is doing. Plus, does she become a member and continue visiting the Club?

One issue you will need to sort out: the Point of View. (POV) You kept switching from first person (I did this or that) to third person (She did this or that). The third person is the POV of an observer and cannot include what the person is thinking etc. So best to stick to first person. Good luck with future stories. Cheers.

RanDog025RanDog02510 months ago

Because I hate cheating, you get a low score for this one!

AnonymousAnonymous6 months ago

definitely a five star.

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userDalton402@Dalton402
29 Stories
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I have a weakness for happy endings. When people face the worst, no matter how bad it is, I like people seeing come out better people for it. Remember what I write is fiction, it doesn't always have to make sense.

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