Conversations with My Mother Pt. 02

I lay there for the rest of the night dozing, not really sleeping. Every time I closed my eyes I relived the last time I saw my mum. It wasn't that she was unloving, hell no, she made it clear that she did love me but couldn't accept the fact that I was a lesbian.

She begged me to date some men, to see if what I was feeling was real. I tried so many times to explain to her, that I had gone through that stage, at high school. Where she begged me once again not to let any boys go 'too far'. I remember laughing and saying I wouldn't. If she only knew why. As hard as I tried to like the boys I used to hang around with they just weren't for me. I mean they were nice guys but I was different. I knew what I felt.

When I left high school and started work, I got invited out with some work colleagues and we went out to some clubs. That was when I witnessed another lifestyle, I just knew that was for me.

Seeing two women kiss on the dance floor, my heart melted. I so wanted to ask another girl out onto the dance floor, but my heart skipped a beat, I was so scared. When I found the courage it was the best thing I ever did. She danced with me, her eyes never leaving mine. She let her hands run up and down my body. I got so aroused.

She took me by the hand and we sat down and talked, well yelled above the music. I never felt so calm and relaxed as I did with her. We laughed and just held hands, and then she kissed me and asked if I would go with her, somewhere more private. I didn't quite know what she meant, but in a 'coat room' with several other couples, she kissed me again and seduced me. The first time I felt another person's hand in my panties any doubt that may have been there evaporated. I came so hard. She giggled. We dated for about six months. It was heaven.

The mistake I made was when my mum asked why I never brought any of my 'boyfriends' home to meet her.

I told her that I didn't have any boyfriends. I can remember her just rolling her eyes. She told me to bring home the boy I was dating then, I can remember so clearly what she said to me, "Every Friday and Saturday night you get all dressed up and go out. You don't get home until after 2 sometimes, so who is the boy that keeps you out so late? I want to meet him,"

Then I made my mistake. Instead of sitting down and explaining to her who I had met, I came straight out and said it. "It's not a boy mama, it's a girl,"

I closed my eyes as I remembered the arguments, the shouting, the abuse we threw at each other. Me her only daughter. The tears she shed. I tried to talk to her. Maybe I didn't try hard enough.

I was twenty-two, still living at home, it was a couple of days after that first fight, that she said she didn't want me in her house any more. That if my father was still alive he would have put a stop to it.

I moved out two days later. I couched surfed for several weeks, but soon my friends got sick and tired of me. I can understand that.

Finally, a friend of a friend found a small flat that the two of us could share. For three peaceful years, I had a place where, if I wanted to, could bring someone home for the night or weekend. It was sad that I was only a 15-minute walk from my home, my real home, yet I never bothered to go and say hello.

A stubborn bitch.

I must have slept and dreamed of those times so long ago. A long time before I met Amanda.

I thought I felt her next to me, but she let me sleep, it was after eight when I felt her lips on mine. I wasn't sure what woke me, the aroma of a coffee being brought to me or her sweet lips.

She was looking down at me, smiling. The sun was breaking through a gap in the curtains and her head and shoulders were lit up as if they were a halo. I smiled and then the phone call in the early hours brought me back to reality.

"Drink your coffee first and I'll tell you what I think you should do," She told me.

I stretched my arms, yawned and took a giant sip of her perfectly brewed hot elixir of life and love.

She sat on the edge of the bed, she was still in her PJs. The white singlet let her full bosom creep out and I couldn't stop myself from smiling and for a moment a naughty thought ran through my head.

She knew she was tempting me, not silly is my girl. She smiled back at me, pulled the singlet over the mischievous boob and then turned and faced me. She told me that I had some urgent phone calls to make.

She must have been up for some time because on our dresser I saw she had our passports. She also had the phone number of the hospital in the States. And a sly note to return the favour to Ken, it said we should wait until it was 2 a.m. in San Diego before I ring him. I smiled and shook my head.

"I've rang Ashley for you and told her what has happened and that you're taking some time off, I'm not sure how much. She sends her love,"

Ashley was my publicist and manager. She would have organised everything if I had asked her to. But Amanda being Amanda took charge.

I smiled as it was all coming back to me now.

Amanda held my hand, "Ring the hospital now, it is mid-afternoon over there. I'll jump in the shower and then you. OK"

I nodded and finished the coffee first.

I rang the hospital and was surprised by how efficient they were and helpful. I got put through to their ICU and after explaining everything, I was told that my mother was in a coma, and I should speak to my brothers.

I rang Ken as soon as I hung up. He answered immediately, "I've been waiting on your call,"

"I just woke up. I've spoken to the hospital and they said she is in a coma. What's going on? How serious is it?"

"They want her in a coma for a while, before we make any decisions? He told me.

"What decisions?" I asked.

"They are not sure how much damage was done, or even if she'll come out of it," He said.

"What," I was yelling now. Amanda came running out of the on-suite still wet and in a bathrobe.

The fear on my face told her everything she needed to know. She sat down next to me, cradled me in her arms, taking the phone she spoke to my brother. "Ken, she is in such a state at the moment, can I call you back?"

"Reassure her that we have made no decision and won't without her." He explained.

"Is it, I mean is it, you know, bad, bad, or just not too good type bad?" Amanda asked her proxy big brother.

"Just get here as soon as you can Mandy. The family are all heading over. Colin is flying in from London and Peter is in Beijing, for some obscure reason. But the whole family are coming here,"

"OH shit, that bad." Exclaimed Amanda. "Let me settle Bobbi down and I'll call you back,"

I was listening to their conversation. Amanda hugged me. Told me to run through the shower. She would handle things from here on in.

I went and turned the shower on, I like my showers hot, and steam soon filled the bathroom. I stayed under the water letting it ease my aching soul. I cried, thinking the worst, as I always do. I heard the bathroom door open and I knew what she was going to say before she said it.

"Oh for Christ's sake Roberta, do you really need it that hot?" She put the fan on and opened a window. It's what she does. When she could get a look at me she opened the shower door and just looked at me shaking her head. I was nearly ten years older than she was and sometimes you think it was she who was the older one.

"Really, look at you, you are as red as a boiled lobster. Babe, you need to get a move on. We have flights to Sydney at 11 a.m. and a 6 p.m. flight to San Diego." Amanda did all that in ten minutes. It helps when you work for Australia's Foreign Minister's Office.

By the time I got dried, she had her suitcase packed, and mine half packed. She had left my black pantsuit hanging on the door. I saw it and when I looked at her with such sad eyes, she shrugged. "Just in case babe,"

I took a deep breath and regained my composure. I dressed in smart casual, as did my Amanda. Her navy blue suit and white shirt, made my heart flutter. My jeans and boots, with an oversized T-shirt and a light jumper.

Just as I was zipping up the suitcase we heard the 'company' car pull up outside. The driver came to the door, knocked and Amanda opened it. There was some polite conversation as I wheeled out two suitcases for him to load into the boot.

I was about to close the door, when Mandy said not to, and raced back inside and picked up both our passports.

She rang Ken back as soon as we got into the car. Told the driver to take us to the VIP entrance at Adelaide International.

I rested my hand on her thigh, she just smiled and patted it. Ken answered the phone immediately. "I or we have a 6 p.m. flight out of Sydney, 15 and a half hours normally. I've had our people arrange for a car and driver so we'll go straight to the hospital," She said it in such a manner that it was more like a command than a question.

"Yes, around 10.30 tomorrow. Do you want to speak to her?" Amanda smiled and handed me her phone.

"Hi, I'm doing ok now, it was all a bit of a shock," I told him. He sounded drained and tired. "So who is getting there when?" I asked.

"Colin has got a flight into New York today, then an overnight stay and a flight to San Diego tomorrow, getting in around the same time as you guys, Peter I'm not 100 per cent sure of yet. He has to get a flight to Hong Kong, then to Hawaii and down to home. The Chinese are being pricks as per normal," He told me.

"Nothing to do with Peter being a bad-tempered bastard then?" I asked inquisitively.

"Quite possibly knowing Peter," came the reply. "Hey sis, can we all try to be nice considering the situation?"

"I'm always nice Kenny, to those who are nice to me," I told him.

"Yeah, but you're not you know. So just be nice OK,"

"Of course, just for you big brother. We're at the airport so will hand up now and we'll call you before we get on board the next one,"

"OK, love you guys," He said as he hung up. I handed the phone back to Amanda. She just slipped into her inside top pocket as she held the door open for me. Such a perfect gentlewoman is my girl.

We went into the discrete door and were greeted with a pleasant smile, Amanda gave our names and our passports to the hostess who spoke quietly to Amanda and we were ushered into the gold lounge.

We sat overlooking the busy terminal as we ordered our lunch, a couple of people came up to Amanda and spoke with her, she smiled, shook their hands and carried on. She apologised to me every time it happened.

"I never tire of seeing how important you are," I said between sips of my crisp white Riesling she had ordered with our salads for lunch.

She smiled at me, poked her tongue out and said she wasn't that important.

"Oh yeah," I replied, "And how many times have people come up to me and said hello while we were out?" I asked her.

"Stop it. It is the position, not the person they are saying hello to," She said with a completely straight face showing me just how good she was at her job.

I reached out and held her hand across the table. We had never hidden our love but we knew there were places she had to travel, that we still couldn't be ourselves. A battle we have been fighting forever it seems.

We sat close after we had eaten and just read, she her many emails, and me my novels. I knew that once we got to the USA it was more likely that would be recognised and not her. I smiled at how strange the world was. Here was the chief advisor to the Foreign Minister of Australia who was completely anonymous outside of the Australian political circles.

I was just a writer, a simple novelist, Yes a couple of books had made it to the NYT best sellers list, yes they made a movie out of one and a TV series out of others, but my Amanda was the brains. And I loved her for it.

She had yet to meet all of my family, Ken and his wife Brenda, and their adult kids and their children, they all loved her. The fact that we skyped weekly helped us keep in touch, Mandy insisted. But Colin she knew some things about him, they had spoken, but that was years ago. Peter and his family, not a word. This trip was going to be something of a life changer.

Unbeknown to us, the Foreign Minister had spoken to his counterpart in Washington. Amanda was to be treated 'differently' private trip or not.

The flight to Sydney was uneventful having seats A1 and A2 helped with legroom and both egress and ingress. Arriving in Sydney we waited around for our luggage to come around on the carousel, again Amanda was spoken to by some people while I 'tagged' along with her.

Part of the reason I love Australia, they don't treat people any differently no matter who you are. A friendly 'G'day' from a complete stranger is as common as muck on the ground. It is just the way we are.

While we were waiting for the suitcases I reached for her hand, she took mine and squeezed it, then looking at me she asked, "How ya holding up?"

"I'm good," Came the reply.

"Liar," was her response. I just smiled and hugged her arm. Normally in public, it is me being all macho or butch but for some reason, I felt comfortable with Mandy taking the lead.

As our luggage came into view there were two AFP officers watching us, then two more. Amanda looked at them with one of her piercing looks, the ones she gives when she is pissed.

Before long, one approached her and asked for a word in private.

She listened, I saw her eyebrows raise, and then she smiled and nodded.

She waved me over. "These gentlemen are going to get us across to the International Airport lounge." I looked back at our luggage which was going on another trip around the carousel. We were ushered into a plain-looking police car and whisked off through back lots and out of view from prying public eyes.

Even Ashley couldn't have pulled this off.

I kept my decorum while in the car. Although I am sure Mandy and I were on the same wavelength. I wet my lips and she scowled at me. She mouthed the words. 'Stop it'.

We were duly deposited safely into the private government guest lounge. I felt privileged and special all in one.

Amanda spoke briefly to the people at the door and closed us in. We were alone, we had five hours to kill before we needed to worry about anything else. I sat back on a lounge and Amanda sat almost on top of me, so I did what any normal person would do, I kissed her and grabbed a boob. She didn't resist. I asked, "Are we likely to be disturbed?"

She just smiled. I started to undo the buttons on her shirt. She put on a mock show of shock and horror the pushed my hands away. So I stopped and she continued to undo her shirt, all the while smiling at me.

We were naked within minutes, our lovemaking went from one extreme to another. First, she did what does so well and had me begging for my release at the tip of her tongue, she held me on edge for what seemed like an eternity until I gasped in sheer delight and complete exhaustion. I thrashed around on the end of her tongue, humping her face. Crying in lust. I cursed her then I kissed her, I love her so much and told her so.

We lay there until our breathing slowed to near normal. Then I rolled her over and parted her legs with mine and rode her slowly at first, then I saw her eyes close and her breathing change. I made contact with her mound with mine both with a 3-day stubble, it was itchy in a fantastic sort of way. Soon we were in sync, both of us racing to a heady orgasmic conclusion. Coming together was a joy we both sought, it never disappoints.

"Don't fall asleep" were the last words I heard before falling asleep.