All Comments on 'Dig Two Graves Ch. 05'

given this cluck some balls in the end. As previously stated, the number of plot holes in this "first story" is numerous but this chapter 5 ending is so "not realistic" that perhaps this should have been in "fetish of complete stupidity". Geez, you starting to make JPB's wimp ass stories look good and that is not a complement. Once again, credit given for having the balls post this dog shit but please get your head out of your ass or put this garbage in a different category like "wimps". Okay, now we wonder if you have the guts to create a decent revenge story based upon another un-plausible set up - do you have the balls to do so? Bring it on if so! Debra & Wayne

Well-written as before, but pretty disappointing. Susie suffered no real punishment as a result of her felonious assault and betrayal. Never mind that she was angry, thought Jake cheated, had bad parenting, whatever. She knows the law and is supposed to enforce it. Just being in a car alone with her, Jake is taking a chance. How does he know she won't attack him again? I realize logically it's not likely, but emotionally? If her psyche is all fucked up, and she gives in to anger and weird impulses, she could just smash her face up a bit and claim Jake did it to her to get even for what she did to him . . . The psycho did that in Dirty Harry, I seem to recall. And there is still the loose end named "Hinckley." The former HR director, apparently enthralled with Schmidt's dick, suffered no punishment for her felonious conduct other than loss of her job. Why couldn't Jake's "discretionary funds" see to it that she is unable to find employment either? She would make an excellent hooker in my view . . . I guess the epilogue left as many questions as it answered and Jake still comes across as wimpy even if he did not reconcile with Susie. And she's still obviously psycho if she believes Jake could ever be her friend.

in order to achieve it...

I gave the author a bit of benefit of the doubt in chapter 1, since I wasn't sure where the story was headed...

since chapter 2, I've maintained this is among the most idiotic pieces I've ever come across in Lit. this chapter 5 just proves my point again. the story is just a waste of space, time, both the readers and the author's. it's total gibberish of the most idiotic king...

When shrinks get involved and we psychobabble away our actions, we end up with blind excuses. I'm sorry, but this makes Schmidt the only true character who was focused and who didn't lie to himself. Postcards to Susie from fabulous vacation spots visited would have suffice to nurture a broken heart....something which he never mentioned to Susie.

Not a total wimp out but damn close. Why is he even talking to her? Why is he telling her what's happening with Schmidt? Why didn't he press charges??? Why are you trying to place ANY blame on Jake, he's the VICTIM!!! You could have ended this a lot cleaner, as it is the bitch skates. I thought maybe she would try to get back together with Bill while he defends her on assault charges.

Your ending was OK? The problem you have is you did a great job of introducing many characters into this story. You made them very real. Therefore the reader starts to wonder what happened to them. The reader wonders what happened to his "friends" at the law firm that forked over $6 million bucks? What happened with his Dad and Mom? Dad came through but Mom bailed on him big time. What happened to his PA?

All in all this was a very good story and I hope you write many more.

I can't explain why but the ending is unsatisfying to me. I don't think Jake wimped out by taking to Susan after the last session. He didn't get back at her and Schmidt. He got ahead. If he had continued to totally hate her it would have only made his own life miserable.

Maybe because of the lack of finality in going either way or because I always like a happy ending when possible or hell I don't know. The ending wasn't really an ending, at least for me.

Either way the author would have gone a lot of readers would have and do rake him over the coals. Jake was too easy on her, Jake wasn't hard enough on her, and so on.

There are several holes in this story that couldn't or wouldn't have happened in real life but after all this is just a piece of fiction. I admire your hard work on this story. I think you have done well with your first effort and look forward to you next posting.

Basically she screws him over, and gets away with it, yes they're divorced but she is still able to practice her profession, Jake continues to stick it to Schmidt at every opportunity but Susie gets a pass.

All in all, the story was good, just the ending was a little weak.

Big Bopper

This is the way things end in the real world -- with a whimper, not a bang. Her explanation of her irrational behavior was pretty believable. However, I think she should have sued his company as well, since she was damaged by their employees using their facilities. And she should have also have gone after the gang of two. An ADA could have found several charges in there.

The very fact that jake the super wimp NEVER told anyone with his wife's office ... the local Media... or even his old firm... what she did to him ... should of given some of you morons a god dam clue what the ending was going to be.

So I guess in the end because the wife had a difficult childhood it's perfectly okay for her to engage in a massive criminal conspiracy and the personal mutilation of one of his testicles?

Yeah you can see this author is a sharp cookie.

It really is appalling number of readers who consistently gave this story in the early chapters high scores. Sure the technical writing was impressive but the premise was absolutely moronic and probably the most idiotic concept I have ever read in a serious LW story.

The wife's reaction as a professional ADA is simply not explained at any point throughout the story. Her actions are far more dangerous and deeper than simply having a jealous streak.

even more stunningly even if we accept the idea that somehow or for some reason the wife lost her mind in some sort of rage of jealousy... the idea that he will hold this story back all this time albeit being threatened with wrongful termination... while his money and property is being illegally seized by an officer of the court under false pretenses... that s the pathetically wimpy husband would not tell his own firm about the actions taken by the wife... not tell the wife's boss in the District Attorney's Office... not tell the local media and CNN... is just unbelievably absurd.

And in the end she got away with it all. Sure she made her suffered some personal humiliation when her scheme blew open her face... but she still working. No one knows what she did while she was an officer of the court. No one knows what she actually did. There was no investigation of the misuse of her office and power.

She mutilated an innocent man and her husband for NO reason.

I don't know about you but when I read the last part that perhaps one day we could be friends I busted out laughing.

What a waste of talent.

I would have liked to see something more out of the epilogue like many of you. The author did a good job at developing the characters which many of us know is almost non-existent in other stories. And the author seems open to suggestions to make his next story even better. So give him some exmaples. For those that are unhappy at the ending why not give it a shot yourself. It has been done many times and I find those to be rather entertaining since they span a huge range of emotions from the various authors. And some are really great. For this one it could range from then staying friends and him trying to help her get over her past issues to details about what happened at the law firm, or more about the legal stuff. Anyway, I did not see him as a wimp in the epilogue. Sorry people, she may have been as nasty as they get but I know someone like her that had those issues and a husband that in the end tried to help because of all the years they had invested in each other. It does happen. So someone take a shot at it. But keep the title "Dig Two Graves" and add Alternate Ending X to it so we can all find it easy. I am assuming the most critical people are probably excellent writers themselves so this should be easy.

don't let the negative comments get at you. For your first submission, it still is more than an average story, I would rather say it's a good one. You created very high expectations at the start. No one seemed to understand why he remained silent about what happened to him and expected it to be for taking his own physical revenge. I'm glad you did not fall into the trap of so many other stories here where the guy has all the skills, knowledge or resources from earlier seals, marines, secret service or martial arts training. No, you let him dig up the facts and collect evidence within a few days. Of course, he could have brought it out at the hospital and with the help of the tape from the entrance, it would have sustained his complaint as to who did this to him. Their carreers would have been finished, they would probably have gone to jail. The story would have been shorter too.

So you made an effort to develop your story into something more and I appreciate that. Like in every story, there are parts one can like, and others one doesn't. You started high and, admittedly, the ending was perhaps not as strong as people expected. BUT, as someone pointed out already, most things in life don't end with a bang. You just make up your mind and try to move on as good as possible. He did it. And in fact she did too when she told him she knew their marriage was over when she started her revenge, and form thereon, there was nothing to salvage and she let loose. Remember, she was present when Schmidt made the call for the gang bang. Yes, I can understand that people would like to see the so-called loose ends being tied up. Maybe in another sequel ?? **** When all is said, I still believe this to be a very good story and I thank you for it. Please continue . I'm sure, many of us appreciate the effort when an author tries to put more "body" into a story than the usual average/mediocre writer. Thanks again.

just a combination of about 4 stories on this site with unbelievable characters. almost reads as if written by AngigueSophie

nicely written story for a first effort! keep writing and improving your stories. ignore the comments from people that complain too much.

Sorry, but I was disappointed. No real revenge. The two graves mentioned in the title, should have been filled witn both the ex and good old Schmidt. You wimped out on us.

My guess is that Jake didn't press charges due to professional gossip, etc. This is probably the most closure that was possible. More importantly, can't wait until the nxt story! Congrats on a GREAT first effort. drmike

Someone compared you to AngigueSophie. Not quite accurate IMO, but puts you in good company. Life can suck and apparently some want you to write a story that shows how easy it is to clean up a mess and make things better. That is not the story you wrote that you meant to write. I am tired of hearing that a story is good or bad depending on if the wife was punished enough or not. I feel lucky to get to read submissions for free from this author and the likes of for example Ohio and AngigueSophie.. So many writers , so many many different POsV... All for free. I love the different styles, methods and efforts. I think a lot of comments benefits both the authors and readers alike and add value. At its best this site works as a partnership, but it breaks down when one side makes unfair demands. Like any relationship.

The story would have been even better without this Epilogue.

This is no AngigueSophie, I don’t really like her stories but all her work is original, unlike this story. The plot in this story comes from about three other stories that I can think off, one in particular where there were two candidates for a promotion and the bad character also had the help of a prostitute to stage some pictures that were doctored to show the good character. That story had a good tightly woven plot unlike this story. Either write pure science fiction and then no one will complain about a far fetched plot or otherwise make your characters act more believable. The plot of this story is almost like a piece of Swiss cheese – but here there are more holes than cheese

A very well written story. Personally I wouldn't ever want to see the wife again. What she did was way too much to forgive and forget. This is very impressive for your first story I hope you have many more like this one. Thanks for writing.

Loved the story but the ending not so much. The people at his old law firm get a complete pass, I would have either destroyed the firm or got about 20 million, plus everyone dumped his ass, no one fought for him. As for the asshole he would have been castrighted and left for dead, but thats just me. Other than that good story, he and his wife both lost but survived, sometimes thats all you get, thanks.

...one might say that tying a husband to a chair and forcing him to eat out the pussy of his cheating wife filled with the come of his arch enemy is not very original or even very probable.

...one might also state that the story could have been better if there hadn't been so many technical descriptions that made the story lose its steam at one or two places.

...one might argue that the story would have ended better with the lovely line about the digging of two graves.

...and one might be disappointed that after all his suffering he would even consider being her friend again.

...but one could never doubt the amazing talent of this writer, who succeeded in enthralling so many readers; who made them ache to see the new chapters and read them until deep into the night.

thank you, sir, for this wonderful story.

finish thge divorce then fuck her like a piece of shit also...fuck her ass her mouth n her mind ...but do her like her father did her mother...let others fuck her and fuck others in front of her also ...make sure she knows she is just another piece of shit to you also....but a piece of shit youll fuck as long as you can anyway you want to

The problem with writing in the present tense is that most writers leave it and go to past tense now and then. Present tense is extremely difficult to maintain in a story, and especially in a long one. This story had a few issues with the tenses. I am unsure what this epilogue added to the story. I do know some readers like everything spelled out and all tidied up, but I prefer to leave something to the reader's imagination. This was a very good story and I look forward to more from you. Thanks.

Great story and you stopped the digging in time!

I can't believe how many woman-haters exist here? Fuck her, fuck her mind, fuck her like her father did? WTF is wrong with you? You pull that shit and you are less than human. God, I hope you never have children. Great story Winter and it is a nice touch of closure. Thanks for the story.

Up until this chapter which sounds like just an excuse so Susie can feel better.

A very well written read with a storyline that had me checking for the next chapter each day. Keep writing!

I do think the wife got away with much. Overall the story is good and is excellent for a first one. Thank you for it and I look forward for your next one.

Exceptionally well written. Hope you've started on your next one!

The best! I'm hoping for more.

Recall the scene at the hospital. It was Schmidt that was worried and took him to the hospital... NOT her.

The wife was perfectly willing to let him to DIE...

It isnt bad enough that dimwits like HDK and angiquesophie cannot see the glaring holes in this story. The argument is not fuck the bitch or kill her... blah blah blah .

One spouse used the power of their office to ATTACK and multilate the other.

and that spouse was INNOCENT.

The spouse that was the ADA -- regardless of Gender -- used the office to call in in favors ..to have property and $$ seized illegally .. to apply pressure to the other spouse work to get him fired for NO reason.

<b> No one was told. she got away with it </b>

Great story I look forward to your next one.

The best way to end a story is to end it. It's good that you wanted to figure this out but a story is not the same as what you tell yourself. Did Jane Austen tell you what happens to Elizabeth Bennet?

Your story was outstanding. You are on your way to becoming one of the better authors on this site. Very well done. I look forward to reading more.

written by fems, including this one. Fem writers [NOT authors] meet the criteria for writing daytime TV slope head trauma dramas. THAT is the way this story is written, for the mass media consumption for no more than filling a morning's watch because of being bored. It DOES NOT therefore HAVE to be sequential, DOES NOT have to make sense or be logical, It DOES NOT have to be anything more that what it is.

it was a good story until part 5, she admitted being more evil then even i thought and yet you have himforgiving her. In real life she would be in jail not sleeping on his couch.

Sorry, but this epilogue about all the psico-bubble reasons for her acting

was not due to the original story. Anyway, a good reading for the previous chapters: please continue, and tanks for your work!

Angie and I both saw some flaws in the plot of this story, but as struggling writers, felt that the overall story and the effort by the writer were to be applauded. If Angie is a dimwit, I am quite pleased to be considered one also. I suspect her IQ is some astronomical number. I am not pleased to read inaccurate accounts of my impressions of a story, but I am inured to it.

Not bad for a first effort, but the ending was a major disappointment.

With the way that this writer is praised one would think that some miraculous happening occurred when in reality it is just a badly done remix of about three stories that I can think of. When you try and mix some other writer’s work in an already flawed plot you are going to end up with something like this – well written crap at its best. Hell, give me Winterfrog anytime, he might not write so well as English is not his home language but at least he is able to think up his own story plots

If the Epilogue had wrapped up by explaining how she had been arrested for her part in his sexual assault then was tried, convicted and was serving a significant prison term as a SEXUAL predator that would have been a proper ending.

I completely agree that this was a very good story and I'm delighted the author did not force a reconciliation.

First, you did a fine job wrapping this up. I was somewhat disappointed with it, but it’s your story and you did as you saw fit. The fact that there are over 40 comments here already today shows how much you touched people.

I have to laugh at the number of comments that make it seem that once you pass the bar, your heart is cut out. A successful prosecutor must be able to go for the jugular, to hit and hit hard. As my uncle used to say, stick it to him and if the Judge doesn’t stop you, twist the blade!” This is exactly what you had Susan do. Even though an ADA, that doesn’t mean that she always acts professionally. Anyone who doubts this should check out our current AJ Eric Holder or google Mike Nifong of the Duke sex scandal..

I am friends with several dynamite counselors who work in a manner similar to your last one. Your history for Susan did explain a lot of the baggage she carried with her and why she overreacted. You stated that she held back from total commitment in her marriage because of it. I agree that that can happen.

One example from years ago concerned a wife with an even worse history than Susan here. She deliberately had an affair to be caught to see if her husband really loved her and would forgive her. It wasn’t about the sex but testing the hubby. After aggressive counseling she rebuilt her identity. They are now a very happy couple with kids that are in college.

Your Susan actually was damaged goods who could function well in this world. However, when placed under tremendous stress broke down. If you do another piece with her, she could learn to confront her demons, adjust her thinking and become a better person.

Even though you did not have Jake pursue a criminal action against Susan, she did suffer consequences, by losing her job and having to leave the area. I tried to place myself in Jake’s place. I think that I would be so angry that I would file charges. However, I think your Jake was smarter than I am. How would I like it if every time I appeared for trial certain jokes were made? I also would move.

Too often we commenters belly ache about how unrealistic stories here are. Well, your ending was close to real life but now many are upset that retribution wasn’t swift and harsh. I usually do not write this much, but you stand at the top here. Keep on writing and chant repeatedly, “I cannot please everyone, especially Harryin VA”. (At least he uses his name, something I can’t do here b/c I’ve forgotten the password and Lit. wouldn’t help). Thanks again, Ttom

<p>You did a good job because you made the readers feel "invested" in the characters. If you didn't you wouldn't have all the comments along the line of "Well I felt.." now would you (^_^). </p>

<p>But I didn't see where he forgave her enough to stay with her. Just enough not to spend all his time hating her. I can understand that too. If I hated all the girls that screwed me all I'd spend all my time thinking about it. Sometimes forgiveness can be just another way of being civil not saying I can pretend it never happened, also it means that you may not be spending any real time with them. </p>

<p>Besides by part 5 she needed mental help more badly than he can't give. I liked it enough where at least she admits how evil she was and by then stopped making it all his fault, and "FINALLY" he earned enough balls to walk way, but I disagree with his reasons for it. I mean she got over the chair where he was bound and forced him to watch another man pleasure her "extremely" up close and personally, and once finished rubbed his face in their spunk, but the point that he decides it over is when he hears another man planning a gangbang from his bed and the fact that his wife is thinking about letting it happen is what makes him decide they're done? See makes no sense. </p>

<p>Anyway good start as a writer.</p>

- Risq

this wasnt an epilogue or any kind of ending. susie was one fucked up woman and no, the breakdown of their marriage was in no way jakes fault. she summed it up perfectly-she ruined their marriage, almost castrated her husband, and basically acted like a fucking retard. i hope she ends up alone and miserable. if you dont like that or think im just a man or some bullshit, you can eat shit and die for all i care. so, could you write a definite ending to this story?

This epilog as I guess, is far from being what was initially percieved by many readers. There's no real closure for jake here, and Susie, Schmidt and Hackney all should pay hell for what each had done to Jake. You let those three perpetrators easily off the hook and blew off the steam that you had been carrying through out the first four chapters by making Jake agree to Susan's idea of counselling. If possible add an alternative epilog where Jake extracts better revenge on all three of them.

Unlike many readers I was glad to read this final chapter. I share the view of many others that aspects of the story were pretty unlikely; but nonetheless I found it as a whole to be very powerful and gripping, right through this epilogue. Please don't let the negative views of some readers (including some for whom "revenge" apparently has to including disembowelment and/or burning at the stake) to discourage you. I hope we'll soon be reading more of your work. Thanks very much for this one--ohio

so many talented commenters here, lets see some examples of your take on how the epilogue should be. for those literary giants poking holes here and there, think back to your first attempt at writing. have you achieved such resounding success that you have forgotten from whence you came? consider how many stories the popular writers ( collins, ludlum, king...) have written before making the big time. constructive criticism is one thing, derogatory statements serve no one. for a first effort, this was very good and i look forward to improvements in successive offerings. lee

The fact that you have plot points coming out of left field in the epilogue says this is a first draft that you started submitting before it was fully done. Or that you let people who don't know how to structure a story proofread it for you.

It really only explained Susie's behaviour and did not really tell us anything except Jake's state of spirit and certainly did not offer resolution to anyone.

I really am not into putting the burden of revenge of the poor victim unless he deserved to be victimized, but in the case I feel that the program for Schmidt fit his personality. Perhaps the worst thing he could do to Susie was not punishing her....

I note that everyone was looking for each chapter and we all read it eagerly. What more could an author ask? What more could we ask of the author?

the plot had some wholes and all your introduced characters miss an ending. so why involve them. besides the unrealistic behaviour of police and ada. they can't have psychos amongst them and susi is a latent bomb.

the epiloge had the right lenght for a story with more than one chapter but I had hoped for more infos and endings.

as far as I'm concerned you kind of :-) own me a 2nd epilogue. It does not have to be 2 pages but where was the erotic in this story ?

I work as boatbuilder, so if I tell you to make one and the you come proudly with the picture of the golden gate bridge, what do you think I would say? task fulfilled or not ? even if it's the greatest among all bridges, it's not a boat.

but thanks for the story and the effort.

But this was an absolutely wonderful first story that shows this writer has an amazing talent. Regardless of the problems, this story was powerful!

very good plot and character development, sure there were a few minor problems but as a whole i loved it. please keep writing, you have talent.

Congratulations winterfoxx , very well done initial effort. Great build up of suspense, character definition and personal interaction between jake and Susie. I still don't know why Jake didn't have Susie and Schmidt arrested for assault and battery but everyone has different taste. Please continue your excellant writing

60 year old George

For a first time not bad, but a lot of holes in the story and plot.

She breaks the law and walks. For a lawyer in the ADA;s office or politics this is probably a true fact of life.

For a cheated and wronged assaulted husband this story is a piece of crap.

Any self respecting man would take revenge if he were as pissed as the hero stresses that he is. I have seen no revenge toward the perpetrators of the frame.

Please go back and rethink your story and give us an ending that really brings satisfaction and closure to this sad tail.

A good start for a first attempt, but not satisfying.

Often I try to discuss the story itself and confine my comments abot the characters to my tagline. However I think you have so much potential I just have to make a comment about your characters. I can perfectly understand Jake's rationalisation of the situation regarding his wife, and I think it is very realistic. After all, he has to live with himself. I'm not so confident about wasting the money on Schmidt. The need for revenge can be strong, but he is letting it control him still. I feel he would have moved on more completely.

Additionally, the whole story allowed us to see the character development of Jake, but almost none of Susie, or, in fact, most of the other characters. In a way this is a good thing, as it allows you to improve your future story telling by fleshing out your character list. Good luck with your future work and ...

Personally? I'd torch the bitch!

Sad ending! Thoroughly enjoyable!

Thank you for the epilogue. You did a nice job with this read. Keep up the good work and don't the the negative comments keep you from writing. I'll be looking for your next effort. art1972

I really liked it. Looking forward to your next piece!

Sean

I have enjoyed this whole story so much. It pulled me along and I could not stop reading until I found out what happened. People may dislike the outcome, but they cannot argue about your writing. Thanx for this wonderful first contribution to this community. Personally, I hope you find an interest in writing stories with more sex, but I will checking back to see what appears.

Please share your favorites on this site, whatever they are. I really like finding out which authors are favored by the authors I am drawn to.

I like most of HDK's story and SOME of AngieSophie's more predictable ones.

The problem, which most complainers complained about is the lack of what author TorchTheBitch suggest, the torching of the bitch. To me, that's not a problem. The author can allow to characters, even very stupid ones, to forgive each other at the end, after the author put them through some psycho babbling sessions with Sigmund Freud or Carl Jung or Dr. Ruth.

The real problem is --- when the author is writing the story --- he/she does not deal with the broad logic of the story. And if anyone says writing fiction has nothing to do with logic, they have not read great novels, long and short, like 52 PICK UP.

I don't expect Lit published stories to be of that calibre; but you can't leave hole so big in your stock, Capt Kirk can fly is USS Enterprise through while under heavy sedation by Doc Bones.

To me, the idea that two very capable lawyers --- both men, both married to the Susie character, in different times of the last 10 odd years --- HAD TO COMBINE all of their intelligence, knowledge of law, invest tens of thousands of their money, hundreds of hours, in addition to serious court time, resources, lawyers, psychological staff, plus tens of thousands of hospitalization on testicology work! (forget about the little things of wiping away Schmitd's seminal and Susie's vagina fluids off of Jake's face by the nurses at the hospital while he's out cold from a little accidental testical restraining from some BDSM activity)..... to just prove to Susie who's a District Attorney? or just working for the DA office?.... that she's been wrong on BOTH of them and that she had better, PLEASE YOU HAD BETTER BELIEVE US, we are really the good gusy, those on your side, not your lover Schmitd... she had better see the light before she lose everything....blah, blah, blah...

To me, that's just total nonsense. Many things in both real life and in fictional fantasies are not believeable and yet they could be real. Not this nonsense. And, yes, the more distant ex-husband, who is now Jake's lawyer, actually pulled out a picture, per the author, and said to Susue: "You see this? This is the picture, of the woman whom you accused me of having sex with 10 years ago, while we're still married. Do you know who the woman is? She's my niece, who had just graduated from high school and was visiting me..." One of them screamed "Fuck you" to the other. I don't care whom the author had screaming to the other such profanity in a meeting of two lawyers on both sides, the whole thing is just total gibberish...

And, then, of course, the author brought in Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung and Dr. Ruth Westhimer, and the psychobable to unearth Susie's twisted and neglected sad young life now become the explanation for her viciousness and irrationality!

Lord Buddha, please, do something!

not all stories have to end with the offending party dying of AIDS. the balance was just right, and I look forward to your future stories. thanks.

I enjoyed this story, but you did just what I had hoped you wouldn't do... you rushed the ending. Yes, you tied up a bunch of loose ends, but not in the style we had become accustomed to. I have throroughly enjoyed this read, but (for me) please give us another chapter and do the kind of work you did on 3 and 4. Give us a great ending!

Thank you so VERY much for your work.

Your last paragraph can be read cryptically.

[Tomorrow is another day and who knows what is in store for any of us. I think your idea of continuing to see a counselor is a good idea. Someday you'll meet someone that will make you feel special again," I respond as I move the gear selector to "Drive" and take my foot off the brake.]

It can be just a warped and tired readers' take, but if in fact they're at a lookout and by earlier accounts facing the view from 'a rise', then when he's put it in 'Drive', and will move forward in drive, is he ending both their stories with a drive off the cliff? Scanning through the comments maybe no-one sees this hook in your closing. For all of the financial compensation and his new start, his "nightmare" needs closure that connects your very pointed title.

Regardless it was a great read, anything that relates to readers a sense of emotion always is. The pace was very good, plotline well developed and plausible(remember where we are!), and characterisation ok(some room here).

Thanks, and please continue with either a followup on Jake and his ex-whore, or a whole new story. Keep writing, you're good.

come on man don't leave the guy hanging in dark and be miserable add another chapter to make this story full of life, so far all i see is despair and gloom.He has a right to be happy someday in his life, just give him a purpose to feed on.How can he survive the degrading horrors?

I'm sure this is a copy of one of D G Hear's stories...Word for word

The story line kept me rivoted through out the tale wondering how the ending would turn out. The characters were well developed, the exchange between Bill and Susie was combative and challenging to the point that this reader actually felt he was taking on the role of Bill and that made this "reader" angry, sad, frustrated, and at one point wanting to "kill" the "bitch" ... all good because it completely made me feel as if I/Bill were part of the story. An (A+) effort in making the story believable.

BUT ... the Epilogue clearly took a step back because pychological spin about her past as well as Susie's refusal to come clean (while she was still married ) showed a prideful, selfish, uncaring woman ... not a woman that lover her husband before or after the fact. She chose to continue to condemn Bill while she was fucking Schmidt .. hardly the type of spouse that regretted her actions or understood the total destruction she alone was inflicting on Bill and her "soon to be dead" marriage. And to top it all off after completely destroying Bill's trust and love she was naive enough to make the following statements:

"I mean, do you ever see us being able to ..."

I turn to face her after her open question. "If you're asking if we'll ever reconcile, the answer is no. It's taken me six months to be able to sit in this car and have a civil conversation.

"I know that Jake," she says. "I'm not asking for reconciliation. But do you ever see us being friends? Maybe?"

IN the real world, a real man who had suffered from these type of actions from his "loving" spouse would have exacted some type of punishment on Susie that would have not only destroyed her professional career but also her personal life by telling the whole and complete truth to her family and friends ... in other words she would not be able to hide from the scorn and judgment of all that knew her. Susie would be an outcast doomed to live out the rest of her dasy as a cheater, liar and whore without the "one" thing she needed to redeem herself ... her husband love!

I would love to see an alternate Epilogue with Bill taking on a much darker, harder stance towards Susie that would give her the exact type of suffering and pain that Bill went thru. An ending where her husband finds a "good" woman that cherish him the way he cherished Susie ... one where Susie has to watch him slowly slip away while she suffers and cannot do anything to stop it.

I hope you will take these comments into consideration should you add another chapter/sequel. Again, the ending really damaged a great story .. a story that was well written. I hope to see more tales from you and I hope you will take some of my suggestions the next time you write. You are a very good story teller! Thank you!

I really enjoyed this story, except for the epilogue, which was absolute rubbish! I wish there was some way I could tell future readers to just stop at the end of chapter 4. I wish there was some way I could unread this epilogue, which drastically reduced my opinion of the story as a whole. There are so many problems with this epilogue that I don't know where I begin.

Probably the biggest problem is that the author who wrote this doesn't seem to have read the previous chapters, because there are so many inconsistencies. For instance, in this epilogue, it is revealed that the wife already pretty much knew the truth before the final confrontation with her husband and their lawyers. Yet, in chapter 4, we read how she stubbornly clung to her version of events, and we saw the scale fall from her eyes as the meeting went on. One could actually see and sense her dramatic mental shift. Now, with this revisionist history, all that is ruined. She would have behaved far differently in that meeting, and at many other points, if this epilogue was true (for instance, would she have come into the last meeting with the taste of cum of her lover still in her mouth? Come on!).

But there a many other problems with the epilogue, surprisingly so considering that it's not that long. It spends a long time trying to justify her slutty behavior in the days of her affair, but that behavior didn't need to be justified in the first place. Her overwhelming desire for revenge was justification enough (she wanted to keep sticking it to her husband). Having her go off the slutty deep end was not only unnecessary, but it created all kinds of inconsistencies in her behavior in the main story, and didn't even make much sense. For instance, her entire affair with the construction worker was wildly inconsistent with everything else portrayed about her, and there isn't even an attempt to explain it with more psychobabble because there's no way it would have happened if her hatred for her father and his ways were that intense. Would she really keep fucking Schmidt even after she figured out the truth, for no better reason than "what the heck, as long as I'm still here?" Give me a break! She would have been royally pissed off at him.

She was an evil enough character in the main story, but this epilogue makes her ten times more evil, to the point that she's a cartoon villain and no longer realistically human. It turns out that she was willing to let her husband die, and it was Schmidt who saved him?! And mainly so she could get her sexual thrills because he happened to remind her of an ex-lover? Please! And, as if that isn't enough, she relates this in passing like it's no big deal, and doesn't even show particular regret or apology over it. If she was that psychopathic, how the hell did they stay married that long?

In essence, the story confirms Schmidt's macho assessment that she was a wild slut all along, just waiting for a "real man" to turn her into a shameless whore (she's even willing to take part in a gangbang already!), and she doesn't mind her husband dying or being totally ruined as long as she can keep being fucked by a "real man." That is so insulting, silly, and cliched, that it's hard to see how that could be written by the same person who wrote the complicated emotional nuances of the rest of the story. We find out the story wasn't about her desire for revenge, it was more about her desire for a good fuck, and that ruins nearly all of the emotional depth and interest of all the other chapters.

I could go on and on. The more one thinks about it, the more illogical and out of step it is with the rest of the story. Plus, there were all kinds of issues raised that should have been addressed in the epilogue but weren't (like what happened to all the other characters, or even to these two characters aside from hearing about a few bits here and there, and mostly too much of her psychobabble background?). I can only assume the author wrote this at a separate time when he was looking at things in a very different way, and did it in a slapdash manner, without really thinking.

I'd like to see one of three things happen. One, the author withdraws this and replaces it with a well thought out epilogue. Or two, one or more people write a different epilogue to give this story the conclusion it deserves. Or three, the author should just get rid of this epilogue, and let the story end at a nice point at the end of chapter 4. It takes what would have been a very excellent story all the way down to a poor one.

Chapter 5 cannot have any relation with the previous four chapters. I concur with the vast majority of previous posts. This chapter is a huge disappointment. I support the proposal of the previous comment. Withdraw and resubmit. Other authors rewrite this chapter. Or withdraw this chapter and let the story finish with Chapter 4.

Saw the story with the most comments and thought it would be good, one poster said "One of THE BEST Stories I have read on Literotica" If this is the best you have here then all the rest must be really really crappy stories. I went back one chapter and if this is what people rave about then I would really suggest subscribing to one of the pay erotic story sites. But then again the old saying that you only get what you pay for really applies here.

Ok, so Susie betrays Jake in the most brutal, degrading manner possible. IMHO, no marriage could survive that. So then the question becomes: What does Jake do about it. What are you supposed to do when you are cruelly wronged? The desire for revenge must be overwhelming. And the fact that at the end of the story Susie doesn't end up with a bloody stake through her heart will upset many readers.

But I'm guessing that since the title of the story is Dig Two Graves (from Confucius) this is not the moral that winterfoxx is trying to express. To throw in another quote: Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head (Esther Lederer). This seems to be the path that Jake is trying to follow. He is certainly justified in choosing not to love Susie any more. He can also choose not to hate her and just get on with his life.

Great writing. I will look for winterfoxx stories in the future.

As my dad use to say, " You Did Good " But I know you can improve next time. I enjoyed the story, like some I thought you might of missed a few holes and the time line for the story left me with questions. A second visit to the doctors to check on his damage teste. (When did he have time) Or how Heidi's brother was setup to get Heidi out of picture so cleanly while the villian was planning to take down our injured Hero. That had to be stup and not just based on luck. Hell the villian had all that setup when our hero was out of town. One great big conspiracy. Plus at least a sentence on how he might of explained everything to his parents and his mothers rejection in the epilog would of been good.

As for the wife's insane jealousy, one never knows. Had a friend that his wife was so far her off her rocker that one time when got home late from work. ( OT ) that she thought he was cheating. Well a big fight insued then she ran into the bedroom grabbed a gun and said I will show you. Then she blew her own head off to get even. Explain that one. She did it to hurt him, in her own perverted way and he is still trying to work that out with the son she left him from her first marriage. How the hell do you explain that to a kid. Plus it screwed him up so bad to this day he is still not right.

Anyway the days of making a gilding out of the villain, no longer exists unless one is willing to spend time in prison. Those days are gone.

So well done, two graves were dug, and a marriage and friendship along with careers in the crapper. Plus our hero used other means to take down his villian and will see that scum escorted into the sewer before it is all done.

You have to move on.

As for originality I don't know. I mean how many ways can destroy a marriage or cheat etc., that hasn't been written before. But the drama and the characters make the story.

Keep writing and I look forward to your next tale. Thanks.

P.S. I would judge your a story a great success based on all the comments, you had everyone coming out and commenting. That was very successful.

The thing about ending any story is that it requires a reason for the actions taken. In these stories the wife has to answer for her actions.

It mostly comes down to her deciding to do the wrong thing.

The husband in this case was pretty well raped because the wife choose to hurt him. Short of violence what can the husband do?

What I would really like an answer too?... Is why did the husband loose his job when the plot was reveled?

The other obvious point in my opinion, other then for the plot line, is why didn't the lawyer wife not put on her thinking cap and figure this thing out on her own?

Reading "Loving wives" Stories for me is understanding why the wife cheats and seeing how the husband copes wife the raw betrayal.

All things considered I want to read more of your submissions.

Thanks for a great read.

there are basically two ways to go about commenting on a story. one is to disregard the psychological depth a writer puts into his characters and their interactions and only look at the flawlessness of a plot; the other one is to let oneself be swept away by the protagonists and our sympathy for their adventure.

both are of course incomplete approaches, but i always will be more appreciative of writers who succeed in letting me forget about plot holes and seduce me to go for the ride. winterfoxx succeeded. and yes...his plot has holes. and yes...his epilogue is the weakest part, as it shows us that he wasn't able to stay the master of his own story. but any writer can tell you that the more impressive the plot, the bigger the chance that the story will crush you under its very weight. i still congratulate winterfoxx with a story that had me on my chair's end even if he demonstrated not to be able to ride the wild horse until the end. at least he tried and had us thralled...now let us nurse his broken ribs in stead of ridiculing him.

I liked the story more than the epilogue. After what she did, there is no way any judge is going to require counselling for the husband. This would be particularly so given what the story said about cheating wives in Texas justice. As I said though, it is a good story and I hope you will continue to post. Thanks.

I really liked this story Mr Foxx. Ignoring the legal niceties, I did think the ending was done well too. By that time I cared enough about the characters to really want to see this and a legal requirement was the best literally way to make it happen, as neither might have believably done it otherwise.

I thought you created great tension and dialogue throughout. It was a real thriller, maybe even a fish out of water a bit on an erotic stories site, but who cares, it was an exceptional story. With a bit of subtle change, it would make a great film script. I can really see Angelina Jolie as Susie.

Well done and thanks for posting it. Your only problem is I now want the next one !!

You know the author was successful with his story when you're impatient for the next chapter.

Nice closure. Good to see some of this fiasco from her side. Glad to see there was no reconciliation, she had gone to far.

One of the best loving wives stories ever. There are nits here and there but the structure and flow of the story was superb! Most of the stories are 1-2 pages in length leaving the reader to guess about the composition of the characters and how they relate to each other. A marriage doomed to fail but when she went back to her lover day after day that killed any hope for reconciliation. Thanks again for an excellent story!

I loved this story. Although I somehow hoped it could have continued longer for them to be able to reconcile. I know that is not easy alhtough she had some personal flaws and some pathetic excuses especially for an ADA. Though, I felt that they both lost a lot, and people should not lose that much. If she was a total whore, i wouldn't want him to even give her the time of day, but she was not. She was just dumb, and I hope she learned her lesson. I hope people can learn from their mistakes enough not to repeat them.

You had an excellent story going... I wonder if you know some of the body of this story as factual. Yes, there are some holes in the story line. However, I have the thought you made some as a part of your story telling.

It would be an interesting concept to properly addressed into a movie (if fictional). If any is factual, care must be taken

I would suggest for your consideration to re think the chapter 5. Either do a rewrite or do a chapter 5a. As chapter 5 stands now does nothing to the other 4 chapters other than distracts from an EXCELLENT persentation...

As one first timer to another, wanted to tell you that I really liked your first one. One criticism that seems to have a little validity is the over-the-top behavior of the wife. I've seen the "wife fucks bad guy in front of husband in revenge" scenario before and it usually works, but doing the kind of damage she did does seem excessive. Of course, your epilog points out just how psychologically damaged she is which might explain the lengths to which she'll go to to get revenge. But in any case, some of the best things I;ve ever read have been over-the-top, so that really isn't a criticism, just a statement of your aesthetic leanings. I personally kind of like over the top. Overall, the story grabbed and kept me reading and it was well plotted,

A lot of people seemed to really hate the epilog, which puzzles me. Leave the epilog off and all you have is a psychotically jealous bitch who I find it hard to believe the hero would have loved as long and strongly as he did. i think the fourth chapter and epilog show how the wife was played by a very clever manipulator who managed to tap into deep psychogical issues that have plagued her for her entire lifetime. He turned her into a submissive slut which was a deep element of her personality that the husband wasn;t aware of. Fortunately, or unfortunately, submissive sluts are not fictional constructs; they really are out there and you might even run into one or two in the course of your lifetime.

Therefore I don;t find her behavior in fucking Schmidt, going for gangbangs and the like, all that surprising. Schmidt has broken the chains she's used to hide her inner self for all these years and once the slut is let loose and she knows she's lost her husband no matter what happens, why shouldn;t she give way to her basest instincts. What's she got to lose?

Finally, I'm not a "torch the bitch" kind of guy so I don;'t find it strange that the hero doesn't want to destroy his ex. That's not saying he would ever be able to forgive or forget, but that's a long way from wanting to get his revenge.

I have to add that i usually like reconciliation stories if they're in any way remotely plausible and the fact that the ex-wife is very much a victim of Schmidt too, makes me wonder if that could ever happen.

Bottom line, you deserve the plaudits you've gotten for "Dig Two Graves."I'm also looking forward to seeing your next one.

...this epilogue demeans the credibility of the main story. All of a sudden the dysfunctional wreck she is makes it hard to buy the backstory. And what was said on Tuesday (night)- was that ever brought up? Still, a tour de force for This site. Thanks

I agree with some of my pre-posters that the epilogue did not quite live up to the standard of the beginning. Altogether a very good first attempt. By the way, you might want to find out about the difference between 'precede' and 'proceed'.

All in all a good piece of writing.

The retribution could have been more severe though - on both the shark and the wife.

I thought that this was a good read, with characters that are well defined, and a believable story that I didn't want to stop reading. Yes the story had an ending that might have been better, but even professional, published authors sometimes have trouble writing a good ending. (The last book in the Harry Potter series is one example of that.)

I'm looking forward to your next story!

I came back to re-read the Epilogue. I still think my earlier comment was on the button. However, looking back I would note that for FIRST EFFORT this story is praiseworthy. As of today, it is the highest rated LW story for the past 12 months.

This is a notable achievement and one worthy of notice. Congratulations!!

This is a riveting story. I couldn't stop reading. Congratulations.

I liked the story very much. I think you are in the legal profession and I learned quite a bit from this. I think your story would have better if it had ended at chapter 4. It is amazing that your first story goes to the top of the list. Very well done. Thank you ...Jim

Couldn't stop reading it. There was a dropped word here and there or mismatch of characters, but all-in-all an original and enjoyable piece. I think Susie's justice was handed out when the story reflected back to her childhood and the mental abuse inflicted on her and her mother, the physical abuse on her mother, and a life of not having at least one good parent in it; even though, her mother did save her from the physical abuse which Susie later inflicted upon herself and her husband.

Le

Well conceived, Well written, consistent characters.

Thanks!

This must be one of (or even) the best authors/ story on Lit. I was spelbound reading the whole series in one go til 2 am. But (did I miss it) what happened to hinckley? and what was she after?

well done!

'A'

That was very clever, well written, lots of twists. I kept expecting that Jake was actually framing himself in order to prove misconduct and ruin his wife and enemy at the same time. I'm glad he turned out to be a good guy. Very nicely done!

Very gripping and held my attention extremely well. It was, by far, one of the best stories I've read at this site.

Others have called it gripping, and so it was. I am so glad that he didn't wimp out in the end. Thank you for a most interesting read and I hope to find more of your work.

When can we expect to read more of your work?

Well done, throughout. However, you left an opening, of sorts, at the end. Was this for a reason? Is there more of this story to be told? If so I look forward to reading it. If not, write something soon.

First what was he fighting for? Even if she did not continue to have sex with him, how could you live with someone who tried to KILL you. The one who said loved you once now trying to kill you . Wait not kill you. First Humiliate in worst possible way a man could be humiliated . Then trying to make you physically unable(sexually). Then proudly admitted that she would not care if would have died. Let me get straight, if i were you-case one if i am not cheater and my wife do this to me, i will file for murder attempt first thing in the morning. Second even if i cheated on her this was not the end of the world, she could have divorced me, but if she did what she did i would not guilty for one second for cheating on her. She was not human, let say even terrorist will just kill you she was even worse, there was nothing left beween them after first encounter then why was he trying prove to her something. Fileing the case for assalt was fair enough. Who were you living with? evil?. She should be sent to army for war they will alway need peole like her, pure cruel.

Winterfox, one of the greatest stories I have read. But there is a problem in my mind.

The husband had to move mountains to clean himself off all the allegatiions while the wife basically just sat back and let the husband do the detective works. She knew she had wrong her husband but her attitude shows she did not treasure the marriage at all. After the wife was shown the slightest doubt in the truthfulness of the evidences produced, she should have started her OWN further investigations, after all, she was a ADA. She did not do anything, and it shows how much she treasured her marriage. And that was after she had physically damaged the person she was suppose to spend the rest of her life with. Even more so, she had the gall to ask, in the end, "I mean, do you ever see us being able to ..."

The husband should proceed to take her AND Schmidt to the criminal court, withdraws her part at the last minute if need be. After all, she was on the law side, but did not care enough about the husband and the marriage.

Winterfox, you have wronged the husband and Heidi.

I am soo fed up with your obnoxious comments. There might be some good stuff in them but your vile language is soo offensive that it dilutes your comments. Please for once how about writing a story yourself and see if you can stand the pain of reading comments by assholes like you. You promised to leave but you lied. Please live up to your promise. Like I said before...dont let the door hit you in the ass as you leave.