All Comments on 'Doll 001 Pt. 02: The Ceremony Pt. 02'

Is it just me, or the ending of pt1, and the beggining of this part, really does sound like "Revenge of Sith", with the whole suit up process, and the "Lord Vader/Doll can you hear me?" question?

Not a bad continuation, but the whole 'forever and permanent" thing still creeps me out.

Please do not take these thoughts negatively to heart. I write them not to offend but because I liked what I read and want to read more of Doll's life.

You have a gem of an idea here but it is tough have any feeling for a Doll that has no feeling. You keep referencing the helmet that the Doll is wearing which just feels and sounds odd to read - I get impressions of Doll wearing some kind of full visor motorbike helmet or some bizarre Star Wars' style stormtrooper helmet? Who would want someone wandering around their home wearing such a thing, banging into walls and furniture? Quick! Someone put Doll in the garage and don't plug in its battery pack.

You made it worse in this chapter by adding the back-pack - how big is this back-pack? The size of one worn by astronaunts on the Moon? In Star Trek Voyager the holographic Doctor originally was going to have an enormous mobile emitter back-pack also. Then someone sane came up with the sensible idea that modern technology could be tiny and that a small badge-like device would suffice. You could have done the same thing for BOTH the helmet and the back-pack. In fact, just do away with the helmet entirely. Why can't Doll have a normal Doll's face mask that also miraculously has loads of minitature technology doing the thing your helmet does?

Why did Doll opt for a robotic voice and not a sultry or breathless lisping female one - just invent the technology - as now when Doll talks I hear Stephen Hawking. A robotic voice would soon become tiresome for his Mistresses listening to that. I do hope the Mistresses make a change to this in a future chapter.

I did not understand, in this chapter, how Doll could see down through her fake breasts? What is going on there? Plus if Doll can feel no touch then it limits the things and sensations - good, bad, naughty and evil - that the Mistresses can do to Doll. Again, why not make the leap and have the suit made from some techno-babble nanites or some advanced new material that can directly transfer sensation when the suit is touched or spanked or whipped directly to the wearer's skin. It would make things more exciting and offer more options for storytelling going forward. Perhaps the Mistresses could shock Doll by telling him this is one of the changes they made without telling him just before they activate the nanites in the suit making it vulnerable to sensations all over his body.

I say these things as I think you have the makings of an interesting series but the above just make it impractical and spoils the imagining of the story when reading it. I want to read more about Doll.

I want Doll to find that his Mistress suddenly becomes far crueller than he imagined she would be. That it slowly dawns on him that he is now stuck. It was great in Chapter 1 how his Mistress told him that there would be no going back once he was inside the suit, that she would ignore his pleas once he made the decision and how she would endeavour to be a cruel Mistress who would never let him out. THAT WAS WONDERFUL - now let's have lots of mental torture as he realises the enormity of the life inside the Doll suit that he not only created for himself but, by wanting a Mistress to be cruel to him, he gets a lifetime of submission, cruelty, slavery, etc, with no chance for escape. How his Mistress 'friend' completely comes to see him as a Doll, toy, slave and tells him repeatedly what he is now to her - no longer her friend but her Doll.

It was really good in Chapter 1 how his Mistress uttered the chilling words to him about him making the last free decision of his life. It was great when, earlier in Chapter 1, she asked him whether he was entirely sure of going ahead. How she gave him the opportunity to back out. Then adding that if he went ahead with it she would be a deviant Mistress to him. I am looking forward to him realising what that truly means. I would love her having direct conversations with Doll telling him that he is Doll and no longer her friend / ex-lover / whatever / brilliant coder / but just her mindless and dumb Doll slave.

One last thought - let's have more of Doll being a sub female Doll. I refer to Doll as 'he' above but it really should be made clear to Doll that he is now a she - a she-doll!

To Anonymous

Number 1, and most importantly, Jenny is a trans woman. She is not a he.

Number 2, this is intended to be as realistic as possible with current technology. Technobabble defeats the entire point. The backpack and helmet are based on a rough approximation of how much space you'd need to include the necessary storage. All of this was explained.

Number 3, the artificial voice was clearly stated as intentional to further de-humanize. There are a range of computer voices between natural and Stephen Hawking.

Number 4, Doll can't see through it's breasts, it was looking down toward its feet in between the large breast domes.

Number 5, it is not a she-doll. Jenny was already a woman, the point was to create a living object.

Really Anonymus, that's your biggest problem with a series about a trans woman wanting to beecome a living plastic doll forever, is that there's actual plausible technology involved? Jamie wrote before that she/he/they wanted the series to be as realistic as possible. I never would've thought that I would be defending this series, because I still don't like the way it's going (especially the permanently encased part) but up to this point, the whole thing is doable, if someone is crazy enough for it (and maybe that's what creeps me out the most, other stories like this have so many impossible parts, that it's easy to be read as a fantasy, while this is maybe too realistic)

Clearly "Anonymous" has no clue what "feeling" means. Feeling is a mental perception. Not a physical thing.

And Doll gas both.

Just ignore those comments

So restriction will be newly defined by the doll suit ...... Claustrophobia might kill you wearing this "power suit" ...... Im in awe withyour graphic explains techstuff computer connectivity health functions and more ...... Ten stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🍀