All Comments on 'Dorothy's Defloration'

This attempt at a story is boring as hell.

Anonymous, you are either extremely persistent, to read through 6 pages of 'boring as hell' stuff, or you didn't read the entire story. I think I know which one it is.

I like the interesting twist at the end of the story, Well done Sunadmire, for writing another super local story.

I can't agree more with PlaasJapie. Love isn't always this Wham! Bam! Thank You Ma'am affair as in the Dean Martin song. Wonderful story, and unexpected ending. Great work Sunadmire.

This was a good story (even though it was an obvious twist when Jeff took her virginity) until you said that it is continued in the stories, Nude in the Bundu and Alone in the Bundu. Unless Dorothy and Frans changed their names to Lisa and Jacob and changed their background stories, then those stories are not related to this story. Or is that your April Fools joke for the contest? If so, you would have done better to just continue the story.

ExpatInParadise, there is no disconnect. I can only guess that you haven't read 'Nude in the Bundu'.

In 'Nude in the Bundu', the characters of Liz, and Marlene were introduced, with Jacob mentioned, but not with them in the Bundu.

Frans, who was 'Naked in the Bundu', and without Dorothy then joined Liz and Marlene. At the end of the work, Frans rushed back, hoping to reconcile with Dorothy, leaving Liz and Marlene 'Alone in the Bundu'.

I may have made it clearer that 'Alone in the Bundu, is a continuation of 'Naked in the Bundu', and not a continuation of 'Dorothy's Defloration'.

It is an interesting twist which you proposed to nominate an unrelated story as the April Fool's twist. I may try it out next year.

Sun

Well written, but a bit long considering the content. I thought it had to be stand alone to be included in any of the contests? If it is part of a longer story, it will unfairly draw long standing fans. Good story tho.

I thought the names Frans and Dorothy were familiar.

So Frans and Dorothy are quits, both cheated. Except, in Dorothy's case, it was unintentional. But then again, does cheating only start when there is penetration?

Good story though.

Not only are Frans and Dorothy's names familiar (Bundu stories), but I've also picked up Ingrid's name (Spring break series and Rudy series) along with her parents' names (Wilson and Desiree) from 'Rudy's fall'. Some integration between these three series of stories (Bundu, Spring Break and Rudy) can be intriguing. Can't wait to pick more names up.