All Comments on 'Ensnarement'

Good start for a first draft, but needs expansion. It's just really choppy and lacks natural flow (classic symptom of super-shorts). Don't be afraid to use more description to illustrate the story. Take our hand and lead the reader instead of throwing the whole darn can of paint at us and letting us figure it out. Also ask yourself why is she out in the forest? It doesn't have to be a whole three paragraph description of her life's story. Just give us a single sentence or two of backstory. Say maybe she's out for an evening walk or she's mad at her ex. That little bit of context goes a long way.

Thank you!