All Comments on 'Femdom Chronicles Ch. 04'

I have read your entire story line to date. Good pace to the story line. I like the humorous interjecting thoughts thrown in now and then; helps break up the story and keep the plot interesting. Please continue the slow plot development. Don’t feel that you need to introduce something new each time.

It is also good to include the thoughts and feelings of your main character. Perhaps a couple of chapters written from Miss Wang’s perspective would be good to show her thoughts and feelings as a way to compliment the story line. You could even rehash the story line from her point of view. For example, was she always into spanking or did that develop as her relationship with Kevin develop?

The one criticism I have about your writing style is watch the use of double quotes in dialogue. Sometimes it is missing and other times it is present when it should not be, it makes hard sometimes to figure out if it is dialogue or part of the narration. The issue is further complicated by paragraph breaks, that while are okay, are unnecessary and the dialogue or related narration could remain together in one paragraph.

Hey Sub Pol: thank you for all the feedback, and constructive criticism. I will incorporate some of your suggestions, such as a section of a story from Miss Wang's POV.

As for double quotes in dialogue, will try to use this less in the future. Not sure about the breaks in paragraphs, depends on the specific instance, but will keep an eye on this.