Freja and Jeanie Ch. 03

"I promise, gramps!" she declared, beaming as she stopped kissing Freja long enough to respond.

"Vincent, help us get ready to leave," Imogen instructed her son before looking at his wife. "Jocelyn, go... I don't know, make some tea or something."

Jocy coloured furiously and stomped off.

"Alexandra, honey, I'm so sorry, but it looks like you may be stuck looking after the little dullard again," Imogen said gently, taking Alexa's arm as they walked out of the hall and back toward the living room.

"It's okay, grams," Alexa said cheerfully, patting the older woman's arm. "Nothing I'm not already used to after all, right?"

"Such a wise young lady," Imogen cooed as they disappeared, with Jeanie and Freja following, still holding hands. This left Alex standing alone in the hallway, thoroughly baffled and rather overwrought. He stared at the retreating press of folks until they were gone, and then looked about aimlessly.

Finally, he opened the closet door and stepped inside, closing it behind himself. Several more seconds of silence passed.

"WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!?!" echoed his shout of frustration up and down the hallway.

***

An hour later...

"You'll need to send us pictures, darling, once you'd had your little gay wedding," Imogen said, giving Jeanie a hug. "I'm sorry we can't be there, but... well, you know."

"I know, grams," Jeanie said softly, hugging the older woman back before moving on to her grandfather. "And I will."

The older couple now looked at Freja for a moment, undecided, but she held out her hand for them to shake, dispelling the awkwardness. She smiled genially. "In my native tongue, your names would be mormor, and bedstefar. I look forward to it."

"I suppose we can get used to that," Randall said before looking at his son. "It's a good thing you've only got the one child, Vince, so now there's no other marriages for you to misjudge, hm?"

Jocy's hand was on Vince's back, and he tried not to wince as he felt her fingers clench. "Yeah, I guess, dad. Don't stay away too long, hm?"

"Well, your mother and I might do safari again in March, so maybe a quick visit before then," the older man said in a noncommittal tone before turning to hug Alexa, as Imogen had just done. "Sorry that your life's screwed up again, looking after this pinhead."

Alexa shrugged. "You play the hand you get dealt, Randall, and you do it gracefully. I've never been one to try and count the cards."

"Such wisdom," Imogen sighed. "Alexa, if you were marrying my granddaughter, I think I might actually be able to fully support that."

The blonde goddess giggled. "I love Jeanie, but only as a friend, Imogen. But that's flattering, thank you."

"Can I put your luggage in the trunk, sir?" Alex offered, making one final attempt to salvage his situation. "I could-"

"Good God, boy, have some dignity," Randall almost spat, scowling at Alex. "Bad enough you have to be a burden on your sister, but you're determined to draw out the pain of our association with you? Not a chance. Move aside, you slope-headed dunce!"

Alex didn't move, seemingly stuck on pause mode while Vince packed his parents' suitcases away in the car. He then helped his mother into the back seat and came back to join his wife, the three pairs watching as Randall climbed into the driver's seat and started the motor.

"Well, that was different," Alexa mused as she stood next to her nephew, who was still staring into nothing while the expensive car headed down the driveway. "Think they've seen the last of us?"

Vince shook his head. "My dad's watching in the rear-view mirror, and mom's scowling at us through the back window. She thinks we can't see her because of the tint. She always does it."

Alexa smiled wickedly. "They can still see us?"

"Yes."

Without warning, she turned and pressed herself into Alex, kissing him deeply and passionately. Alex blinked several times at the stimulus, putting his arms around her more out of routine than anything else. Jocy and Vince gaped at them, while Jeanie and Freja snickered.

Not far away, the car lurched and swerved back and forth suddenly, as if the driver had not been paying attention and lost control in a moment of shock. A woman's thin wail could be heard as well. After fishtailing for the rest of the driveway's length, the car pulled onto the road and sped away in a panicked roar.

"Oh, my God, Lexi!" Jeanie wheezed, wiping a tear from her eye as she tried to stand up straight after doubling over laughing. "You just completely destroyed their whole world! I mean, me'n Fre, that's bad enough, but incest? I hope their insurance is up to speed!"

"I can't believe how stupid and weird this entire weekend has been," Jocy sighed, shaking her head while Alexa stopped kissing Alex, who still seemed disconnected from reality.

"Well, no offense, mom, but this probs could've all been avoided if you and dad had just been honest with 'em the first time around," Jeanie pointed out.

"They control the money, Jeanie, and we were convinced your gay marriage would get us cut out of the will entirely for allowing it," Jocy said defensively.

"Sounds more like a you problem than a me problem," Jeanie said, shrugging. "But, we came to your rescue all the same, and things've worked out. I'd say we did pretty damn good, right?"

Everybody else shrugged. They didn't have the heart to tell her that their success had been dumb luck, rather than good management. She looked very pleased with herself after all this.

"So now what?" Vince asked, turning and leading everyone back into the house. "You four think you'll go home? We're going to head back into Collingwood, I think we need a break."

"Well, daddy, if it's okay with you, we'll probably stay here another night or two," Jeanie said, swinging her hand back and forth while she held Freja's. It was a simple joy, but she loved it. "We all kinda planned on being gone until then anyway, so..."

"And I don't want to ask what you four will be up to, do I?" he sighed.

"Probably not," Jeanie replied, shrugging.

"Just promise you'll disinfect all the surfaces before you leave," Jocy muttered, shaking her head. She needed a really strong drink. "And please try not to knock down any more buildings?"

"No promises, but we will be giving it the old trying college," Freja laughed.

***

"I see you drivin' 'round town with the girl I love,

and I'm like fuck you!"

(Oooh-ooh!)

I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough

I'm like, fuck you, and fuck her too!

Said if I was richer,

I'd still be with ya

Hah, now ain't that some shit!

(Ain't that some shit!"

And although there's pain in my chest

I still wish you the best

With a 'fuck you!'

(Ooh-ooh-ooh!)

"Don't suppose we could find a different victory song for you guys to dance to?" Alex sighed from the couch as he watched a very naked Jeanie and Freja dancing gaily around the living room together to the CeeLo anthem. "It's kind hitting close for me."

"Oh, don't be such a sourpuss," Alexa purred as she rocked up and down on his lap, facing out with her legs spread so that their friends could see his cock spearing in and out of her. Despite his complaint, his hands were on her breasts, and fondling them magnificently, as they always did. Even in a disheartened mood, Alex would certainly make her cum. "The important thing is that everything worked out."

"Ja, we can even use our real wedding pictures, with minor alterations," Freja laughed as she stood in front of the couple and threw a large bump-and-grind in their direction. "Alex, I am sorry that I tried to kill you for being good to my wife. Those people, they make you crazy and unrational."

"Yeah, gotta admit, I'm not used to being disliked no matter what I do," he admitted, grimacing even while he fucked his aunt. Truth be told, if he hadn't been talking, she wouldn't have been able to tell the difference. "Guess I stopped being objective and just kinda had to prove my point."

"Alex, you are the nicest person I know," Freja said, sitting down on the couch next to him and turning in to face him, her hand on his shoulder. The look in her eyes was an honest one. "And I am knowing so many nice people."

"Yeah, remember Stoyan, back in Slovenia?" Alexa panted as she bounced up and down on his cock lustily. "You thought he was nice, until he stiffed us the money for making the tape."

"Hush, du glider kusse," Freja said, making her best friend giggle. "It is true, Alex is the nicest guy I know. I am very thankful to you."

"What about me?" Alexa asked, her big tits bouncing hypnotically, and her golden tresses moving in what seemed like slow motion around her lovely face.

"You? You did not do anything except be a sluttish troll," Freja sniffed. "Thank you for what? Hoggling all the affection?"

"I agree with my wife, Alex," Jeanie said, plunking down on the other side of him and kissing his shoulder. "Gotta admit, you'd make a really great husband."

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, bitch," Alexa grunted, reaching over to pinch Jeanie's nipple, making the brunette squeak and pull away, giggling.

"Oh, y'know what I mean, Lexi," Jeanie continued. "I'm just sayin' that I could've done a lot worse than Alex, and as guys go, well... I really don't think anyone could do any better."

She leaned in now and kissed him on the cheek. "I love you, Alex. Thanks for helping me save my marriage."

"Even if it was at the cost of your dignity and self-esteem," Freja teased, leaning in and kissing him as well. "But any time you are wanting to have another rape-fight like that, count me in, ja?"

"Next expenditure, a reinforced fuck-bunker!" Jeanie laughed as she caressed Alexa's gorgeous ass while the blonde shook and wailed loudly, climaxing as Alex stiffened and began to cum inside her.

***

Blackwell Manor, the following evening...

"Welcome home, Master Alex, Mistress Alexandra," Jordan intoned politely as they strolled into the sitting room that the former seneschal was occupying with Karen and Mike, the three of them reminiscing about days gone by. "I trust your trip was entertaining and eventful?"

"It was enjoyable," Alexa replied cheerfully, giving Mike and Jordan a hug before giving her big sister a kiss on the cheek and then sitting down on a loveseat. The music of Haydn lilted through the air from invisible speakers.

"Humbling," Alex sighed as he sat down next to his wife. "Very, very humbling."

"You found out that you can't please everybody, and sometimes people just won't like you, hm?" Karen mused, smiling at her son. "What I can tell you, Alex, is that if they don't like you, it says a lot more about their lack of character than any deficiency on your part."

"Your mother's right, Alex," Mike confirmed, nodding. "Sometimes, there's just no winning when little people are involved. All you can do is rise above the ugly and leave them to their tiny world."

"No argument here," he said, nodding wearily.

"Alex was splendid," Alexa said proudly, holding his hands and squeezing them. "He took everything those old ogres threw at him and just kept trying, like a champ."

"And what was your big part in all of this, Alli?" Karen asked pointedly, giving her sister a look.

"Ummm... nothing?" Alexa offered rather meekly.

"Do not let your sister convince you that she has never engaged in such mendacity, my dear," Jordan said, smiling at her, his kindly old eyes glinting with amusement. "There was one time that, back in Nineteen Eighty-Seven, when she-"

"Jordan..." Karen said in a warning tone. The elderly gentleman ignored the empty threat.

"As I was saying, my dear," he continued. "Her parents had gone to Italy for a small vacation..."

***

A condo downtown...

Freja and Jeanie lay together, hugged close under their silken sheets, a small, sensual lamp casting a gentle pink glow through their bedroom. They were kissing lovingly, happy to be home and only have each other to concentrate on.

"I am still not believing that worked," Freja murmured through the kiss before pulling back and sighing contentedly. "It could have gone to the south so many times. Thankfully, your grandparents are not very perceptive."

"Maybe, but I feel even less perceptive, not noticing what kind of pain I was causing you with my slutty antics," Jeanie said, smiling wanly. "I'm really lucky that you're so forgiving, Fre. I was so focused on somehow convincing my grandparents to like Alex, that I just forgot to think about what effect watching me fuck him and tell him I love him constantly might have on you."

Freja smiled. "Yndling, I had no business being jealous, it was a... what is the word... a sham. And I knew it. But I let myself get jealous anyway, and it was wrong. Alex tried so very hard for us, and he was the one who got screwed over, I think. Even your mother did not suffer as he did."

"So y'really think you managed to strike a truce with mom?" Jeanie queried, stroking the pad of her thumb over her wife's nipple. Freja bit her lip and nodded. "Kinda weird to think about; mom's usually at war with half the planet if she can get away with it. Even though we did her a solid, I don't think she's gonna stop holding this condo over our heads, y'know? It's who she is."

"Then I feel bad for her, because that is no way to live," Freja said, stroking her wife's face. "I am sorry she hated being so poor, and I am even sorrier that she is always getting the grief from your grandparents, but she is in a bed of her own making, my love. If they took away everything from us tomorrow, I would love you no less, and I would strive harder than ever to make you happy."

She took Jeanie's hands in hers and kissed them. "You are my world, Jeanette Helena LeTourneau. I could ask for no more, and be no happier."

Jeanie's lip trembled as her eyes began to leak. They often did when she Freja honestly professed her love, because it had come to mean everything to her. She thought her parents loved each other, and maybe gram and gramps did, but... if they were one tenth as in love as she was with Freja...

"We don't have to worry about mom doin' that for much longer," Jeanie sniffled. "After all, we're headin' to L.A. during March Break, and we're gonna sell the kinetic makeup and make a zillion dollars. She's not gonna have any sorta hold over us after that."

Freja smiled, always enchanted by her wife's optimism. Whether it was trying to pull off a fake marriage to appease bigots, or two clueless girls trying to sell a product they barely understood to the movie industry, Jeanie was always convinced that things would work out. And to her credit, so far she'd been right, even if it was only by coincidence and divine intervention.

"I cannot wait to go with you," the Danish girl said. "Come what may, this is our adventure, and only we can live it, ja?"

Jeanie nodded. "Ja." she said softly.

They kissed again and then nodded off into their dreams. But no matter what those dreams were about, they were facing them together, hand-in-hand, and side-by-side.

The way it should be.

***

Make sure you read past the Author's Notes for the chapter epilogue!

Author's Notes: So, as the girls mentioned, they'll be heading to L.A. on their next little wacky caper. It'll be a big step for the two of them, since they're trying to get out from under the thumb of Jeanie's domineering mother and father.

One thing I tried to do in this chapter was get inside Freja's head some more. While she's definitely Martin to Jeanie's Lewis, she's hardly the straight man archetype. Freja is a total lunatic in her own right, just not necessarily when compared to her dim-witted wife. She's a young woman with hopes, dreams, fears, and yes, jealousies.

And yes, I played this up for laughs, because she certainly knows better than to be jealous of Alex. After all, have you met his wife?

The barnyard rape-battle was fun to work on, especially when I decided to give it the silent treatment, as seen through Alexa's eyes. I'm working hard to bring out Alexa's silly and hambone side, and in this chapter she got to be a total troll, and basically of no help whatsoever. It was enjoyable to write, since she seems like such a MacGuffin sometimes.

Alex, the Golden Boy, had what is quite possibly his worst chapter in thirty-eight of them so far. The kid who everyone can't help but like because he is the nicest guy you'll ever meet, found out that shitty people can dislike pretty much anyone who isn't them. It's a tough thing to learn, but like Karen said early in the story, 'enjoy your life choices!'. If you're gonna scam a marriage, shit will go down, no matter how cool you are.

And trust me, Karen oughta know. You'll find out why in Mike & Karen 19, which was posted alongside this chapter on purpose. Go find out what Jordan was referring to.

As for the cold opening, in which it looks like Alex is going to murder Imogen with a pair of scissors, I boosted that idea from the opening of a WKRP episode, in which Herb was mouthing off to Les about something, and Les was creeping up behind to kill him with a pair of scissors. What can I say? I like funny cold openings.

Comical as this chapter was, I try to have growing moments for the girls, especially in their relationship, and how they perceive and come to support each other. One of my readers said that the Freja & Jeanie series was like a South Park episode: a bunch of insane shit happens, but by the end, the kids realized they've learned something.

I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted. Oh well.

Thank you, to an unnamed patron, who actually sent me some fan art of their favourite character. It was kind, and you'll be pleased to know that the picture is now my wallpaper on both my cellphone, and my laptop. You knocked it out of the park, and I appreciate it.

On to the epilogue.

Stay safe and wash your hands, people! You fap with those things, after all...

- Management

Epilogue:

The condo, two weeks later...

"Heya, babe, I'm home!" Jeanie called out as she came in the door, wearing a short, puffy jacket and sheer black yoga pants.

"Velkommen hjem," Freja called back from her place on the couch, where she was playing an app on her phone and killing Nazi zombies. She loved this game, and she was also reasonably certain that it would be politically incorrect to kill zombies before it was to kill Nazis. "I am glad you made it home from class safely- I know it is blizzarding out, ja?"

"Yep, and I got a text notification that the gift pack for gram and gramps was delivered," Jeanie said cheerfully, her cheeks rosy from the cold weather. Freja would warm her up soon enough. "I think they'll really like the wedding pics. And it took hardly any work on our part to alter the relevant deets."

"This is because we have access to Ari now as needed," Freja pointed out, looking up from her game. "Not that I am complaining, mind."

"Yep, I even colour-coordinated the gift packaging, I think I told you," Jeanie said, stopping at the cooler to get a bottle of Gammel Dansk for herself. Since they'd visited Roskilde, she'd become quite fond of it. "Nice gold box to complement the red CD case. It's the little things, y'know? Except where a DeBourne male is concerned."

But Freja did not respond to her wife's blithe little remark. She seemed to be stuck on 'Pause', or very lost in thought.