Freshman Year in the Dorm Pt. 06

Then Julia looked at me smiling, and slowly brought her hand up to my face and beeped my nose. She kissed me, just a little on the lips. "What's the past tense of 'virgin?'" she said.

That was a good question, but I knew the answer. "I think," I answered, "that it's 'woman.'"

She liked that answer, and had another question. "Why have I never done this before?" she asked. Then she figured out the answer herself. "Because I didn't have you, that's why. I didn't do it before because I didn't have you."

That was a good answer. I liked that answer. "I told you you'd like it," I said.

"You were right," she said. "I knew you were."

We held each other, side by side, for a good long while, not speaking. Finally, she lifted up her head and looked at me. "Conners," she said, "do we love each other, or is it too soon. I mean, we've only known each other a couple of months."

I wasn't sure I understood the import of the question, so she continued. "I can't tell," she said. "We certainly are horny for each other, but that could be just, you know, like animal lust. We like being around each other and have fun together and we trust and respect each other, but that's just being friends, isn't it? And you know what else? We understand each other. We really do. But I don't know. Does that mean we love each other? Or is this just a teenage puppy-love thing?"

You might be thinking that I didn't have a choice how to answer. I'd just taken her virginity and she was asking if I loved her. I could hardly say no, could I?

But that's not what I was thinking. She was asking a thoughtful question and I didn't want to give her a rote or cliché answer. I wanted to answer her seriously. So I thought for a moment or two. She wasn't impatient.

Then I answered. "Well," I said, "if we like being around each other and want to be with each other, and we trust and respect and really understand each other, and we're horny for each other, maybe that's what love is."

She nodded. That made sense to her. "Then we love each other?" she asked.

"Yes," I said, "I think we do."

"It's not too soon?"

That was a harder question. In truth, we barely knew each other. Two months isn't a long time, so I gave her the only answer I could. "I don't know, Julia. I don't. I've never done this before either. But we can only do what we can. Let's just love each other now and do the best we can."

She lifted her head off the pillow and looked at me, smiling. "I want to love you," she said.

"Then do it," I answered.

"And I want you to love me," she said.

"I will," I said.

"Then it's official," she said. "We'll love each other."

You can probably guess what she did then. Yep, she beeped me on the nose, smiling. Then she gave me a long, slow, romantic kiss, not sexual, no tongue. Just loving. When the kiss was over, she pulled back her head and said one more thing. "That was a fantastic fuck by the way."

We both laughed, then she put her head back on the pillow and I held her in my arms, her leg draped over me. We were quiet for a long while, probably nearly an hour. I couldn't tell if she had fallen asleep or was just resting, but we were still and quiet, just breathing together.

I could see by the clock on her desk that time was running out. I gave her a bit of a nudge. "I need to go. It's almost 5 o'clock. Kathryn will be her soon."

She answered me clearly, not at all drowsy. She hadn't been asleep. She'd been thinking, not resting. "No, stay," she said.

"We're naked," I pointed out. "Kathryn will be coming soon."

She turned and looked at me, seriously. "I've been thinking. We should let her catch us like this."

That didn't make sense. "You're going to play the game with Kathryn?" I asked. Kathryn didn't seem like a likely target for the look-at-me-naked game.

She wasn't smiling. She was intent. "It's not the game. Listen, Conners, Kathryn's having some problems that I'm helping her get over. It would be good for her to find us like this. Really."

Problems? What kind of problems would be solved by walking in on your roommate and her boyfriend stark naked? I didn't know what she was talking about.

"Do you trust me?" she asked.

"Of course I do," I answered. I meant it.

"Then do this," she said. "When she comes, pretend we've fallen asleep and we're just waking up when we hear her come in. Don't act all embarrassed or cover yourself or apologize or anything. Just get up and put your clothes on. Like it's the most normal thing in the world."

"Isn't she going to freak out?" I asked.

"I don't know how she'll react," she said. "But regardless, it will be a good thing. I promise."

I agreed silently, and she moved her leg a little. It had been partly covering my dick, but now I was fully exposed.

I remembered there was something I'd forgotten. I found the used condom, still dangling off my dick, and tied it up and threw it to the floor.

We heard the key in the lock. I shut my eyes and, as instructed, pretended to be asleep. Kathryn came into the room, closed the door, and turned on the light.

And shrieked.

At the top of her lungs.

It wasn't a long cry, just a short, loud scream. It was like she had just come face to face with Freddy Krueger, shoving his knifed fingers toward her throat.

"I'd better go," I said, climbing out of the bed, my dick dangling in the air. As Julia had told me, I didn't act embarrassed or try to cover myself. I just got up, put on my boxers, jeans, and shirt. I picked up my shoes and socks and left.

----------------------------------

Later, in the dining hall, I was carrying my now-empty dishes to the tray-return area when Julia and Kathryn came in. I didn't know what to do, so I stood there, and they came over to me. Kathryn had been crying, but she wasn't crying now. Her cheeks were flushed.

Kathryn spoke first. "I'm really sorry I screamed like that," she said. "I shouldn't have done that."

"It was our fault," I said. "I should have been gone before you came back."

"No, that's not fair," Kathryn said, shaking her head. "It's Julia's room too, and if she wants to have guests, then she should, whenever she wants."

I started to point out the difference between "having guests" and "having naked guests," but I could tell from Julia's face that I was supposed to shut up. So I did.

Kathryn apologized again, then picked up a tray and went off to the salad bar. Julia stayed behind for a second.

"Was it a mistake?" I asked. "She looks like a disaster."

"Not at all," Julia said confidently. "I talked to her. It went just like I'd hoped. We did the right thing."

It didn't look like the right thing to me, but what do I know? Julia had a plan. She always does.

"I can't explain now," Julia said. "Meet me in the quad after your 10:00 class tomorrow, and I'll give you the whole story."

She gave me a little kiss on the cheek, turned, and headed toward the salad bar, where Kathryn was. I went back to my room. I couldn't imagine what she could possibly tell me tomorrow that would make any sense of this.